>>16468132

If ass kickings aren't working then I'm not sure what else will.

>>16468155
Abusive relationships are more common than what we believe, at least that is my take of this the past few months.

The only way I would think of breaking them up would be to have an intervention with only the closest friends. But that may not be a good idea.

And why is she still talking to him?

>>16468173
Their relationship is kinda... complicated.
She is "not allowed" to leave him, and she cant go to her family for help (because they hate him and currently believe that she have broken up with him, which is a lie she told them a long time ago)

She sees him everyday at school (HS drama -.-)

And lastly, she was his friend for a longer period of time before he "changed" as she puts it. He became more violent and harder as a person towards her than before.

She thought she could change him back to the way he was before, but she (at least what she tells me) dont believe he can change back, and dont know how to get out.

If she tries to dodge him, he will go look for her, even stand outside her home waiting for her to leave so he can corner her and "talk".

She needs to break up with him firmly and not in person. She should e-mail him a firm break up with the following pieces of information. If she hasn't told her parents already, she needs to do so.

1. His actions are hurting and scaring her. She doesn't want to break up over e-mail, but she feels she has no other choice for her safety because of his actions.

2. If she finds him outside of her house she will call the police on the first offense and seek a restraining order.

3. If he harasses her at school the police and school faculty will be involved.

4. She will read whatever his response is, but not reply. After that point, he will be blocked on all form of communication.

After that she needs to not entertain any kind of contact with him. No matter what trick he pulls, his bullshit is not her problem. If he tries to continue to contact her then a protective order would be the next step, immediately.

In situations like this, a lot of girls think "well he hasn't done anything serious enough to make me break contact like this" but it doesn't matter. She is fearful, and for good reason. Its better to take these pre-cautions than keep pushing the line until something happens.

>>16468132
>Should I not even get involved?
^ this.
why do you get involved? you are into her i understand but its her buisness and she has to deal with it. Tell her once what to do and if she comes back crying blabla tell her you already told her what to do so she should stfu

>>16468193
desu go to the police and file a report anonymously

that way when he finally breaks her face or arm or something, there will be additional evidence for prosecution

>>16468238
she needs to involve the school on the DL so they already know when/if shit happens

>>16468193
so does she like him or is she just scared?? what the fuck??

>>16468132

1) There's a lot of material online about this kind of stuff. I'd suggest you look for dr Joe Carver (identifying losers), as a first stop.
2) In the end it all rests on her. If she cannot make the decision to leave, then anything we say or do will be pointless.
3) There are a lot of legal procedures for these types of situations, that she can take advantage of. If she doesn't, that's on her.
4) It takes both sides, to be in a partnership, and any side can decide at any time to terminate that partnership. So she doesn't actually need to say that they're over, just get her stuff and get him out of her personal life. If he asks, simply saying "I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore." is enough, and if he pesters, point at bruises. Any more pestering and others should be called, or even sooner if she's afraid for her safety.

>>16468193
1) That (not allowed to leave him) is a scary idea, and shows a lust for control, not the person.
2) Get the school informed. What transpired, and that he may be causing trouble and she might need help. Before or after it happens the first time, is up to her.
3) People change. Not always for the better. But if she can't be with him anymore, then she can't, no amount of previous friendship is going to change that. Not ending thigns bcause of that is not only silly, but about as much of an argument, as a straw would be in helping one float.
4) If he starts stalking her, police. That is an actual reason to call police. She should call police in that situation. Why is "POLICE!" not the first thing to think of?

She seems pretty retarded.
She needs to learn how to say "no", be it in person over the phone or via an e-mail or whatever.

Also if you really think he's a danger file a report anonymously.

>hs drama
How old are they even?
Probably the perfect age where she can learn how to say no, and he can learn that he can't always have it his way.

>>16468132
I had a boyfriend like this in high school when I was pretty young. I was so shy and easily influenced that I just listened to his bizarre rules. Must answer his phone calls. Can't hang out with friends without him there. Can't wear revealing clothes. I was invited to my good friends sweet sixteen and he said I couldn't go. And I literally told my friend that my boyfriend didn't let me go.

Making friends that finally told me how wrong this relationship is was the best thing for me. I made a friend on the sports team I was on, and opened up to her about my relationship. She had to practically shake me by the shoulders and say that when someone loves you, they don't treat you this way.

So this guy and I were broken up, but he'd stalk me and follow me. He caught me alone at school after hours (was waiting for friend, she was in some club), and he tried to choke me by slamming up against a locker. My friend, just in the nick of time saw what was happening, started screaming at him, and he stopped, we ran.

Friends helped me get away. This friend was persistent enough to watch me go back and forth to this guy. Even though she yelled at me and gave me really tough love. But I was so lucky to have her there for me. I seriously think that dude would have eventually killed me.

After that, he still spread rumors about me. Told everyone we had sex when I didn't want to lose my virginity to him. Told everyone I was a dirty slut. A lot of people believed him too.. I handled it better because I had friends though.

>>16468238
Your advice is pretty solid, its basically what I had been going around thinking myself, however police involvement is kinda not the best way to go in their current situation, but it could be a great last resort if it ever comes to it.

>>16468249
Its true that I have some feelings for her, but even if they broke up, I would never be able to be with her as I am his Bro, and bro's dont mess with other bro's gf's.
Seriously tho, I may have put myself into this position because of a previous mistake. And going radio silent on her would be worse than getting involved.

>>16468250
As said before, its a thing I have been thinking about but involving the police is a last resort in this scenario im afraid.

>>16468253
>she needs to involve the school.
Almost everyone in their class know about them being together, all of her girlfriends have told her that they should break up and he is not good for her, but he has not let her go.

>>16468253
>so does she like him or is she just scared?? what the fuck??
She LIKED him, before he "changed" as he put it.
She still wants to be with the guy he was before. But he is no longer the same person and worse off, he became abusive and now she is unable to leave him because of it.

>>16468262
>Why is "POLICE!" not the first thing to think of?
You had very solid points, basically what I would have told her, if not for the fact that police involvement has become a last resort.

>>16468266
>She seems pretty retarded.
She is young and dumb and to be fair to her, she tried multiple times to end it but he persisted and she chose to end the argument instead of ending the relationship.

>How old are they even?
They are at that age when you really want to have a partner badly, but fuck everyone else just as much.

>>16468280
Her story is basically this, details a bit different but basically this.
She has a friend who hates him and constantly tells her to end it with him, but when I asked them both, they answered simultaneously
>HE DOESNT LET HER DUMP HIM!
Which caught me off-guard but well after that, it just kinda went downhill.

>>16468292
You must be even more persistent. She must ignore him. She has to let his behavior get to the worst of the worst. Have her dump him with a friend there (maybe a male friend that can stop him if it gets physical)

She needs to ignore him, not be alone, and tell her family that it's serious, he is physically hurting her, and they need to get involved. My family was the same way, they hated my boyfriend and I was afraid to tell them he choked me.

Then he'd call my house phone 1000 times a day and my stepdad got so pissed that he threatened him so deeply (to this dad i dont even know what he said) that he never called my house again.

>>16468302
to this day**

>>16468302
>my stepdad got so pissed that he threatened him so deeply that he never called my house again.
This is my primary advice for the moment. Have someone from her family threaten him to never contact her again. It could work, but that means she needs to involve her family, that she has lied to about breaking up with her bf already.

If that does not work, then police is the only thing left, and the worst thing that could happen both of them.

>>16468132
>She is getting assaulted by him (leaving visible marks)

if she puts up with this and does not file charges at the police station there is very little you can do

it takes 2 to tango and domestic violence victims sadly rarely ever walk away from their abusers

you can try talking to her but I doubt that will help - you can try calling police ask for DV detective and get him her to talk to your friend

>>16468132
She tells him in simple sentences and words of one syllable that it's over.

She says and does absolutely nothing that could remotely be interpreted as a mixed signal.

She refuses to talk with him, and when he approaches her, she threatens to report him to school authorities or call the cops.

She does it.

>>16468670
I find no reason to keep going if she will not cope. I cant save her from DV without getting involved myself and/or involving the police.

>>16468700
If only she could listen to this advice this would be all simpler.