It's going to continue to be a cycle until it breaks. Move on and find someone else you like or want to put time into. Do yourselves both a favor and stop playing with her and your own emotions.

>>16466645
And we're done, /thread.

>>16466638
you want advice but you didnt ask a question.

>>16466645
this.

it already failed twice. im not even a believer in giving a failed relationship even a second chance. it will fail again. you both made mistakes. learn from them and move on. i know its hard, but its the best option in the long run.

>>16466645
Yeah she told me not to talk to her and that she wants me out of her life which hurts. But I guess i brought this on myself

>>16466693
Is this normal? If im having all these second thoughts and constantly thinking about her 3 months after I did this, is that a sign that maybe she is the one?

idk what to do

>>16466707
That's the only sensible thing for her to do. Cutting all contact forever is the best way to get over this.
What you can do? Nothing. She asked you not to contact her again, respect her wishes, especially if you really do like her. Anything else will just make things worse for her.
It should also be good for you to cut off all contact. Otherwise you won't get over this either.
And as >>16466696 said, it already failed, twice. I agree with him on no second chances for a failed relationship. Work on your problems instead of breaking up. If you break up, there was obviously not enough commitment and who knows what happens when problems get worse? Could lead to an on-off kind of relationship.
And no, just the fact you keep thinking about her doesn't mean she is the one, it just means you haven't moved on, despite being the one breaking up.

>>16466756
Yeah I know. I have slept with another girl already and drunkenly made out with a few more. But she is still constantly on my mind.

I am hopefully that I will find, the right one eventually and Ill know it right like everyone who is married or engaged says they knew pretty quickly.

The thing that sucks is this girl and I knew eachother so well. It was more just me being immature and not feeling ready to settle down. If it was three or four years down the road, i probably would have been way more committed to marrying her. I think I just need to grow up first (im 25 btw)

>>16466778
Wow I botched a few of those sentences

>I am hopeful that I will find the right one eventually

>The thing that sucks is this girl and I knew each other so well and connected on a level that I never have with anyone else.

>>16466638

In what way is this related to your pic op? Hard work? Kind? AMAZING THINGS? Shit.....no good deed goes unpunished.

Anyhow, to answer your question: sounds to me like she really wants to get married and you're not ready, just like you said. However, the "leading her on" part is where you're giving your self guilt for no good reason really. Just straight up tell her "Hey babe, I'm not ready to get married. but lets keep fucking! I know how deep down you are baby, so let me give ya every inch of my luuuv! ". That could go on and on for months and years and its all totally honest so you got nothing to feel bad about. Why end it? Makes no sense to me bro. Seems a waste of perfectly good poontang. Who knows maybe after years of fucking you might wanna marry her. Then you'll feel bad cuz you kicked her to the curb for no reason.

>>16466778
I am 25 myself and if I were in a different situation (still in university) and wouldn't have the career plans I do, I would really want to be married by now. I don't understand how anyone doesn't.

Also they say they knew, but you don't actually know how many of them will end up divorced. Chances today are pretty high, unless they married virgin.
You will know if she was the right one after 50 years of still loving her. You just can't know unless your life ends, it's always a gamble.

>>16466819
You are an idiot. "No good deed goes unpunished" is simply a poor cynics excuse for being a shitty person.

>>16466819
I tried that in the first two years, but she still wanted more.

She is the best sex i have ever had so its so hard to give her up. And knowing she is probably getting with someone else know kills me.

I guess I just care about her too much to keep doing that. I felt like shit inside sleeping with her and knowing a ring was no where in my near future, when thats what she wants. idk.

>>16466830
Don't worry, it was the right decision. If not for you, for her it was.
If you truly like her, you should care about her being happy whether that's with or without you. It can be heartbreaking, it can suck pretty hard for quite long, but you ultimately did the right thing and are a way better person than that ass you responded to.
Just remind yourself of that and hope that decision leads to her being happy.

Despite the fact that she said to not contact her again, you should send her one last message or if you see her in person just explain to her that the reason why you broke up with her a second time was because you were afraid of leading her on again and then just walk away or if over a media not send anything else. If she doesn't reply then that's her answer, but if you still want her as an option then the only way you'll have a chance is to explain it. Even if you don't go back into a relationship, which is likely, you still might have prevented hatred

>>16466843
Thanks, appreciate that.

Yeah the thought of her with someone else kills me. Ive been through it before though, so I know I can get through it again.

I do ultimately want her happy. Obviously being happy with someone else hurts a lot. But Im hoping ill find someone else who makes me happy too eventually

>>16466830

>I just care about her too much to bla bla bla....
>I felt like shit inside sleeping with her bla bla bla....
>I hurt her this time around and I miss her a lot bla bla bla...
>Not ready to get married bla bla bla not getting her a ring bla bla bla....

LOL, I bet fucking her didn't feel like shit. Anyhow, if you really care about her and don't want to hurt her and miss her , you're practically already married to the bitch. The ring is the real problem here. Either you just don't want to spend the money or just don't want this person who'm you care about and miss to be a permanent part of your life. You must be the type of dickhead who pushed his own parents right out of his life and then felt bad about it later and miss them. Comes as no surprise you're doing this same routine with your girlfriend now who is probably a perfect fiancee. News flash kiddo: no matter who you marry, you're gonna get sick and tired of her ass eventually no matter who she is. What are you doing? Holding out for something better? Don't bother because there are no "better" ones out there. The story goes the same way no matter which one you pick, and you've already picked one you like fucking, so roll with it already. Before you get too damn old. You get to a point where women will reject you simply because you're not married YET because they don't want to waste their time with a man who has spent too much time getting used to his freedom. They'd rather date someone who is already married and shackled down and USED to the imprisonment of day to day regular married life. So quit this horseshit nonsense bullshit logic of yours and marry the bitch, idiot.

>>16466891
you sound upset, friend.

I am 25 years old, I dont think I am going to be in that "too old" category for at least 5 years. Money has nothing to do with it (as far as buying a ring goes). I think you are absolutely right, no matter who I marry, you get sick of that person at some point.

I guess what it comes down to is I love her, but I am not ready to settle down. And like stated earlier, I know I am being immature. But It just would be right to pretend like im okay to settle down, and not be ready. Things could be much worse down the road.

how old are you, op?

>>16466921
see
>>16466778

>>16466913

Lets evaluate this part of your argument for a moment:
>I am not_ready_to settle down.

You just got done acknowledging you'll be in the "too old" category in 5 years. So what is it that you think is going to happen within the next 5 years that is going to make you "ready"?

>>16466954
Thats a fair question.

I guess maybe sleeping with a few more women, going out with bros, getting money to buy the things I want (as selfish as that sounds..Im in Finance and make good money).

All those things listed above are almost impossible to do when dating someone (sleeping with other girls is obvious)

>>16466954
Not OP, but I was an entirely different person 5 years ago. I didn't make bad decisions, but I was a leftist idiot. Now I am pretty conservative, value family above anything else and am religious as well.
So things might change. But I agree that OP would have the perfect opportunity to settle down right there and that he should have taken it.

>>16466963
Sorry, but those are not very good reasons. The first one is the worst you can give actually.
You can't go out with friends once married? Who told you that?
You can't buy the things you want? What is that you want that much you can't get once married? Are you not capable of saving up some money and just wait a little longer for this?
But sleeping with a few more women? I don't even know what to say to this... Why? Just why would that matter to you?
Research/statistics point to promiscuous people being less happy and way more likely to fail their (first) marriage. Generally speaking that statistic only worsens the more people you have intercourse with before marriage.
And really, you don't miss anything, especially if she is as great as you make her out to be.
You threw that away for fucking random girls and buying some stuff?
I am sorry to say, but you sound kind of immature in that last post. I had a way different image of you before and figured this would just be due to your values being different, kind of like mine were a few years back.

>>16466963

Well it sounds like you know what you want out of life.

That 5 year window of time of going out with bros and fucking women and buying shit sounds to me like its way higher on your priority list than the other things in life most people go after such as marriage with kids and family life, which continues on well beyond just a short 5 years. No my friend, that shit goes on and on and on until you're dead in the ground. That is: unless you just sit around fucking other people and party a lot when you're young. Do that and you spend the rest of your life sitting there going "what the fuck was i thinking" and you just gradually get old get rejected over and over again, slowly realizing its just not gonna happen, and your friends all get married sooner so now you have none, and its just a lonely miserable existance with only 4chan and your pets and fuzzy memories and "rosey palm" to keep you company until you die. Yes that shit just goes on and on and on...... I can see why you put all the sex and partying higher up on the priority list though. Its all definitely worth the lifetime of misery that comes after tho. Definitely worth it. Good thinking. Sorry I criticized.

>>16466999
Hey, in 5 years he can still marry some woman his own age who used to fuck tons of dudes in college and party like he did to realise she ran out of options. Some bitter feminist coming to the realisation she lost all her value to men for anything long term by making horrible decisions while "young".
So there is still some hope, right?

>>16466999
But on the flip side of that argument, what if I married her, even though I knew I wasnt ready, then resented her after a few years. I would hate to be 30 with a wife I am sick of and 2 kids, thinking about how I may have missed out on some fucking fun adventures.

I do know what I want in life. I want to be successful financially, travel, and eventually meet a beautiful woman that I want to settle down with. I dont know why everyone on here thinks 25 is getting old and decrepit. I do believe I have plenty of time to do what I want to do and still find the right person.

>>16467028
Yes, because you HAVE to marry someone your own age.

No, if I am 30 years old making $125k (which is where I am projecting based on my position now), I have no doubt I can find a 23-25 year old girl.

>>16466994
Sleeping around with more women is definitely immature of me. But I want to get it out of my system. The thought of one vagina the rest of my life is terrifying. But I agree, i need to grow up.

Going out with bros gets more difficult, at least in the relationships I have been in in the past. Less and less bro time, and when i do go out the gf always gets pissy.

Buying the things I want is A LOT easier when you are spending a good deal of money on a girl. Gifts, food, traveling for 2, it all adds up. Again, if I am single at 30 years old making six figures, I can pretty much do and buy whatever the fuck I want.

These arent all the reasons I broke up with her. She isnt nearly as driven as I am, almost lazy. She smokes pot and I dont. She is very possessive. There are other flaws, but I know no one is perfect, and Ill be the first to admit i have some too

>>16467113
Arent* spending a good deal of money on a girl