I was in a long-term relationship with this girl, we broke off because I went abroad to work and save up and well, I returned recently. We started hanging out again and things were looking good and I asked her out again. She flat out refused me, when I asked why it was because of my body.
You see five years ago I did not give a fuck how I looked, but me and a few buddies wanted to go to a Halloween party dressed as spartans from 300. Turns out, I like working out and generally feeling like I'm a teenager again. Besides having abs, I cannot stress how great it feels to be running 10-20km a day or doing sports and not getting the wind knocked out of me. I maintained my lifestyle even until today.
But she doesn't like me looking so... hard, in her own words. She liked me better when I was soft and chubby. But thing is I like myself as I am now. I always thought women liked gains, wtf did I do wrong. I still do seriously love her, not sure if I should give up my routine which is hard on me or ask her if she could accept me as I am.
>>16463942
I'm with her, I prefer a guy who's chubby and cuddly than a guy with rock hard abs and biceps. Why are you so hung up on her anyway? Find another girl to date
>>16463954
I felt like we had a connection and we understand each other at times without talking. She's also a very nice girl. I don't know, its love, I know I can find other women - but would I love them?
I can be cuddly, what is it that turns off women when it comes to muscles. I'm not a huge roider even.
>>16463942
You shouldn't really change just because somebody wants you to change. You should do that only if YOU want to, if you don't like how you look. Try to talk with her about it, try to find a compromise. If she is not willing to accept things you like, she is not worth it. I feel for you bro, keep yourself fit.
>>16463942
Changing for someone you love is not that bad in my opinion. But holy shit asking you to have less healthy habits is downright toxic influence.
Okay guys, I'll talk to her, maybe over coffee or just at my flat. I'll see if there's some compromise I can make.
>>16464018
Wish you luck dude, every riddle can be solved. Hope to hear from you soon.
>>16464031
Yeah, if it doesn't work out I guess I'll just accept it and move on even if it won't be easy. I like my healthy lifestyle, I like how I am now - not how I was.
>>16463942
It's a power play
1. Fat man is complacent with relationships
2. Women are looking at you. Your gf is picking it up
3. More time on yourself than her.
4. Your letting think this way.
Fuck her right, make her a tiny bit jealous, be a good by and you'll see she'll fuck better.
Don't flirt with chicks if you like your gf but do politely talk to the they'll flirt with you that's enough keep it casual on your end.
Your workout must take up a fair amount of your time, so maybe it's not the body she's not attracted but the fact you're probably presenting as a self absorbed gym rat.
sounds like an excuse to me. if everything was alright i'm sure she could overlook that.
maybe it has to do with your looks, liek she feels inferior or something but you shouldnt take a chance, and change yourself this much only to find out it wasnt the actual reason.
nahmean?
>>16463942
I'm not experienced enough in relationships, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's not that she dislikes gains. It's the fact that she fell in love with you while you were the chubby guy, and so she wants that nostalgia back, just like the old days. Now you've changed so much that you seem to be too different to her. At least I can imagine having such a mind set.
Though I may not know what the hell I'm talking about.
OP here, so we didn't actually talk properly. Somehow one thing led to another and we fucked. After I talked to her about it and she said we could 'try' going out for a month, if things don't work out we can just become friends again. Well, its something. Thanks adv. I don't spend too long at the gym really, an hour a day? And I don't think I flirt with other girls. I'm just going to have to prove to her that even if I changed in appearance, I'm still mostly the same guy who loved and still does love her.
If things go south, at least now I can tell myself I tried.
>>16463942
Prolly she doesn't like feeling like she has to work to keep up with you.
Girls are crazy though, don't change yourself for one.
