>GF was at my place using facebook on my computer
>Loaded it up today, was still logged into her account
>Saw an active conversation between her and some dude
>She asked if he wanted to hang out
>He said he was busy but maybe this weekend
>"Oh I can't, I'm going to be at my friend's all weekend"
She is coming to my place to stay this weekend, and we already have it planned out. Why would she refer to me as her friend, does she think our relationship is ending or something, or is she going to try and cheat by letting this guy think she isn't with anyone?
>>16450105
She's going over there to play twister with all his black friends.
>>16450105
I sometimes refer to my boyfriend as a friend because I don't want to sound like I'm flaunting him or being presumptuous when I mention him to another guy
>>16450105
Dude, do you really have to ask? Actions speak louder than words.
>>16450123
And you do that while trying to hang out with said person?
b8
>>16450132
Depends. For example, if it's some guy I'm organising a study session with or something, then probably
>>16450132
Well that's pretty sketchy but I understand where >>16450123 is coming from.
>>16450142
Its really not bate. My first relationship, only about 9 months in. I was just wondering.
>>16450105
dont be an idiot
gtfo of there immediately
>>16450152
Dude, she's going to cheat if she hasn't already. Get the fuck away from there with whatever dignity you have left and call it a day.
You'll be thanking my harsh words in the future. I wish I would've listened back then.
>>16450152
how is the relationship? is she acting strange or not caring about it?
it looks like she's ready to dump or cheat on you as soon as she get a chance
>>16450143
I see, and I get what you're trying to say but OP's gf wasn't organizing a study session (at least from what he posted)
>>16450105
Sounds like you're getting keked m8.
Good luck with that.
>>16450164
I know, it was just an example. If it's someone I don't know well at all and I just want to get to know them, then I probably would just refer to my boyfriend as a friend to be honest.
>>16450166
>Saying c u c k e d is not allowed?
>>16450161
Fine, she has just been acting odd today. We had a conversation about it today and she just seemed down.
>>16450160
Maybe
>>16450170
keked
>>16450168
>If it's someone I don't know well at all and I just want to get to know them
And that doesn't sound sketchy to you? If I were your boyfriend I would definitely have a problem with that; the same way I'd expect my gf to be pissed if I was trying to get to know some girl amd referring to my girlfriend as my friend.
That's fucked up to be honest.
>>16450105
Don't make any quick decisions or let her turn this on you.
When you see her next, be really nice and happy. Once shes done feeding off your happiness, dump it on her, be like "so you left your facebook open the other day..."
Watch her reaction, go from there and don't claim shes a cheater or a whore. Say you're kind of broken hearted and need it explained.
Shes a person, she can socialize with whoever she likes, she might even like you more for being cool with that.
But as everyone else has said, shes most likely trying to find a new dick, which is inevitable for most relationships these days...
>>16450184
What can I say, we trust each other.
>>16450186
She'll fucking lose it and accuse me of snooping if I do this.
How about I just ask whether or not she has thought of me as more of a boyfriend or a friend recently?
I don't know, I'm pretty retarded. So if that is a dumb idea, feel free to tell me.
>>16450191
So what's the problem then? What's so bad about letting someone know you have a boyfriend? Unless you want that someone else to think you're single.
Why would you want that when meering someone new? I'm not being a dick, I'm just trying to understand. So far, it still sounds really sketchy to me.
>>16450198
>She'll fucking lose it and accuse me of snooping if I do this.
But she'd be right: you did snoop
>How about I just ask whether or not she has thought of me as more of a boyfriend or a friend recently?
Yeah, because THAT doesn't make it obvious you've read through her messages
>>16450204
Then offer a better suggestion? Its not like I feel bad about it, I just don't want to turn things nasty.
>>16450204
Yeah, it's better that he never finds out if he's being cheated on, right?
>>16450201
I act much differently when I'm trying to flirt with a guy than when I'm just trying to be friends. If I'm just trying to be friends with a guy, I act in the appropriate manner, and if he tries to make a move on the assumption that me hanging out with him is a sign of interest, I'll let him know that I'm not interested and that I have a boyfriend. It's as simple as that: I'll let a guy know I have a boyfriend when it's appropriate to tell him I have a boyfriend.
>>16450213
Imokaywiththis.jpg
>>16450210
I don't see how you're going to be able to find out if she's cheating without admitting you've snooped. There's been nothing to arouse your suspicions so far, and any accusation or questioning would be too obvious
>>16450211
I never said that. He wants to know how to find out without letting her know that he read her messages. I was just critiquing his idea
>>16450201
it looks like she doesn't want other people to think that she's trying hard to make other people know she has a boyfriend, that's the only explanation i can think of
>>16450201
it looks like she doesn't want other people to think that she's trying hard to make other people know she has a boyfriend, that's the only explanation i can think of
still, she's trying hard to make other people think the opposite, which is just as weird
it's no big deal to tell someone you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you want to manipulate the situation somehow
>>16450105
This is exactly the sort of conversations I used to have when I cheated on my ex gfs, sorry bro
>>16450226
>it's no big deal to tell someone you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless you want to manipulate the situation somehow
I see guys here complaining all the time that a girl told them that she has a boyfriend, when they weren't even interested in her in the first place. It makes it sound like you're self absorbed to the point that you think that the other person is interested in you, even if they've shown no sign that they are, and that is not a good trait to have. It's presumptuous
>>16450213
Honestly? That's pretty retarded and seems shady, and I'm inclined to agree with what this >>16450226 anon said about it being used as a tool in some way, (whether to gain something from someone who may be into you, or test someone to see if they are into you because some people will hide it if they know the person is in a relationship).
>>16450234
there we go, that's the reason
i think what you are saying makes sense, but sometimes there's no problem in letting people know you have a boyfriend indirectly
people will only find strange if you are actually trying to force it, otherwise they are just being delusional
>>16450105
>Why would she refer to me as her friend
Hate to break it to you man, but she's probably gonna do the nasty with him. Wait until next weekend, let her know you know what she's doing; then cut contact.
Better luck next time.
>>16450198
Maybe
>you left your fb open the other day
>*her reaction*
>you should be more careful
its just a quick psych test to gauge her reaction and then you can repair it quickly after by denying looking at it (say you trust her lel),
but if you're dumb like you say you might not pick up on the signs shes anxious and/or knows you know about her friend (chicks are pretty good at sensing emotion and even other shit)
I sound like a complete sociopath for telling you to do this, but its really fool proof and better than walking around in circles stressing whilst shes fucking someone else on the side.
Also iv been cheated on, I even lived with the girl and adored her. I didn't know at the time, but I slowly slipped into the darkest nightmare depression and im only just recovering. It changes you if you let it, don't make that mistake...
>>16450248
Like I said, I'll let them know if they need to know. I don't like flaunting my relationship status, and I'm a pretty private person to begin with. I'm not going to gratuitously mention my boyfriend when he's not relevant, but I'm not going to actively hide him either
>>16450241
That's your opinion and that's fine. My boyfriend doesn't have a problem, and that's all that really matters to me
>>16450234
Yeah, if she just says it like a presumptuous cunt while you're talking about the weather, or flirts and then drops it on you.
If it's a case of, "I cannot hang out Tuesday, I told my boyfriend I was going to help him move" then there is nothing wrong with that. Why say "friend"? Some people will want to hang out to get to know someone for a potential relationship, and not telling them just wastes their time. That, and if they find out the "friend" was a boyfriend, it just seems like a lie by omission or just a lie for no reason.
It makes someone reasonably suspicious.
>>16450254
>It changes you if you let it, don't make that mistake...
I want to stress this point. It DOES change you.
Does it really matter? Now you're suspicious that she's cheating, and you can't trust her
Welp, she isn't speaking to me now anymore. I just shot her a call, and she sent me to busy after 1 ring. But I know for a fact she isn't with him right now at least.
Looks like this shit is done. There goes 10ish months of my life.
>>16450280
10 months of experience more like it, now you can go out and find another one
life's just a dream, the only thing that matters is our experiences and relationships, you're fulfilling your life bro, more than the average person on here.
>>16450280
That's life man. You live and learn.
To be fair though, you didn't lose ten months of your life, you gained quite a lot of experience actually.
>>16450297
Nah, I used to be a hermit, which is why I was asking for advice here and referred to myself as dumb, at least socially.
I really, really, really don't want this experience again. Put in all this effort, just to get monkey branched when she gets bored.
>>16450307
But now you know. What are you going to do with this knowledge? How can you be a better person with this knowledge.
These are the kind of things to think about from now on.
>>16450123
>>16450143
This is wrong
>>16450318
what I intend to do with the knowledge is not fall for the trap of a relationship again, only to be keked.
>>16450322
Read the thread man, she went through all kind of mental gymnastics to justify it to herself.
>>16450234
That's just retards on 4chan.
In the real normal world, saying your bf is your friend is akin to opening a door to a normal guy
>>16450325
Or, you can have a relationship but not fall so balls hard for the person; you can learn to have options. My point is, now you know.
Knowledge is power, think about it.
>>16450325
Fuck that man. I just got dumped and while i didnt confront her im sure this girl has been fooling around towards the end or at least was planning to.
Hurts right now but im not giving up on relationships. Like others said im going to learn from it.
>>16450352
When I say I was a hermit, I wasn't exaggerating. I spent 99% of my life alone, before I met my now ex girlfriend.
I just met her at work, and she gave me a chance, and I was interested. So I took it. Not because I had any longing desire to have a romantic companion, but just out of pure curiosity. I do actually love her, but I'm perfectly fine going back to being alone, and I don't have any desire to do anything like this again.
>>16450234
There's a worlds difference between talking about the weather and a girl bringing up her boyfriend somehow and making it non obvious it was intentional VS me asking YOU what you're doing this weekend and you're saying you're with your boyfriend. Your reasoning is incredibly flawed and who gives a fuck if that one in 10 person thinks that?
>>16450234
If I was your bf and I heard you calling me your friend, I'd leave your disrespecting ass baka senpai desu that's just wack af poor dude's getting kekd
>>16450325
You learned there's shitty people in this world. That won't change. By dismissing all girls as shitty cheaters and kek queens, you're only doing yourself a disservice. You didn't waste 10 months, you learned more about yourself and what you want and other valuable things. I've been cheated on but I didn't let it ruin all my other great relationships I had after that. live and learn anon
>>16450123
Translation: I don't tell other men that I have a bf because I want them to give me attention.
I feel sorry for your bf.
It's amazing how you pathetic cunts try to justify calling your boyfriend "friend". He's your boyfriend you sad whores. That is the reality of the situation. If others get asspained because you refer to your boyfriend as your boyfriend it's their own problem.
I swear, the only people who got visibly asshurt when I refer to my gf as my gf are chicks who thought I was courting them, when I was merely being pleasant/trying to discern if they were friend material.
