So here is the deal I have been with my gf for about two years and we now live together. All she does is go to work, eat, and sleep. No helping around the house or anything.
I love her with all my heart and I work very hard at my job so on weekends I just want to spend some of my hard earned money out with her having a good time.
But she says she has a hard time getting out the door which feels like bullshit since this was never the case at the start of the relationship.
Every weekend for months now I offer us to spend some time out and she refuses so while a bit sad or upset I go out and try to have a good time alone.
Whenever I am home she is sleeping and whenever I go out run errands and return she is asleep.
I would think she was depressed if I didn't know she was on anti depressants.
The fact that after months it feels like I basically have a shitty roommate who might have sex with once a month instead of a partner is getting to me.
Is there some way I can try changing this situation? I have tried talking to her and she never seems to hear me or she gets sad saying she isn't enough of I'm unhappy with the relationship.
I have a female co worker who has invited me out a few times and I don't think I would feel right spending time out with another woman but I could really use the company. Would it be wrong to go out with her in a strictly platonic sense?
I just don't know what to do anymore.
>>16439680
>I would think she was depressed if I didn't know she was on anti depressants.
anti depressants aren't magic.
>>16439698
I've asked her multiple times if she was feeling depressed and she says no. Plus during the week she seems fine and happy/ smiling often
>>16439680
might be a weird answer, but have you tried talking to her mother?
>>16439850
I have talked to her mom and she told me she has always been a sleeper
>>16439680
>which feels like bullshit since this was never the case at the start of the relationship
A new relationship creates a huge neurochemical cocktail in your brain which will override many regular patterns of a person.
After time the body finds its old balance back and the positive effects of a new love wear off. So it doesn't have to be bullshit.
That said if she's already on anti-depressants and it doesn't do much for her she could also have hypothyreosis which manifests in similar symptoms like depression but has organic causes and needs to be treated differently.
Also hebephrenic schizophrenia has a lot of overlapping symptoms with depression, but anti-depressants won't help much with that.
>she's on anti depressants
>not depressed
sorry, but even though she believes she's not depressed, she might be
she doesn't want to go outside, wants to sleep alot, it's something that's common with depressed people
but anyways, if it's not depression then it's just the way she is, how did you stay with her so long? was she different before?
>>16439908
It wasn't as bad initially but for the past few months its been like this. I think we have gone out on a "couples" date maybe 5 times this year excluding a Vegas trip
Not saying this is true but there could be a possibility she's cheating on you if I was you I would get cameras without telling her and put them all around your house
This problem won't go away. I highly recommend relationship counseling.
>>16439932
Not really possible we work at the same company and spend most of our time together. So physically speaking it is highly unlikely.
This might sound dumb but I had a roommate that did the same, and it was really annoying. I can only imagine a harder struggle since she is your girlfriend. Like I would get up at 9am. My roommate wakes up at like 10am, despite crashing at like 7pm the night prior. So I'd leave for class at noon, back at 3. I turn on the TV and he turns it down tell me he is sleeping. Then he'll wake up at like 8pm. Make dinner and watch TV. Then pass out early again, and sleep in. Idk why it bothered me so much.
But long story short, I guess some people just like to sleep a lot. Did I think my roommate slept so much prior to living with him? No. Did he? Yes. Nothing you can do really. But I get why it would bother you that she sleeps all day. She might not be responsible enough to help with dinner or dishes or cleaning. I guess just talking to her, and ask her to clean up and stuff. Dont be passive aggressive about it, because you'll only hurt your relationship and make yourself angrier.
>>16439680
Maybe she doesn't like you?
My ex used to be so exhausting that I would always want to sleep when I was around him. I didn't really realize it at first but after A while I realized that the relationship was not healthy
>>16439998
Yea I think it might be this which is shitty but I always make her a priority to me but I can't say the same. Guess it's slowly dying.
could she be pregnant?
>>16440022
Are you completely ignoring the other two medical conditions I listed on purpose just so you can feel shitty about yourself?
>>16440022
I'm sorry. That's how my relationship with my ex was too. Great guy, but we fought about petty things and he wouldn't leave me alone or give me space. Plus, I wasn't very physically attracted to him.
There are ways to save the relationship still, but it will take honesty and open ness on her part. She may not think it's worth it
>>16439709
She is. I've gone through this cycle a lot.
Your GF is depressed but doesn't want to admit it. I suggest talking to any of her friends and see what they think. Give it some time and she may turn around but i'd say if shes still like this in a few months? Yeah i'd be ditching her. You need to give her lots of chances to turn her life around but if shes not going to listen there is only so much you can do. Depressed people can only fix themselves.
>>16439680
I'm in a relationship where both of us have issues with depression. Because of this, our chores have gotten out of control at times when we both can't find motivation.
What we did to help ourselves what to structure our lives in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or unmanageable. We have a dry erase chore board that we use that has all the stuff we need to do regularly, and at the bottom it has check boxes by both of our names where we each have to do a minimum of 5 chores a week, if we don't it rolls over to the next week.
It may sound lame, but we lost the right to not have a chore board when we let our shit get out of control.
