I'm an 18 year old senior but I don't do much on the weekends. I usually go home and sleep or play video games, but as of recently I've been looking more and more towards socializing with people, but I don't know how to ask them if they want to do anything.
Any suggestions? All replies are welcome.
I am literally in that exact same situation my friend, I have people I hang out with but I just dont know how I can ask them to hang with me outside of school. I really want some /adv/ on this topic as well
>>16436968
Do you have friends?
What you do is come up with the "anything" first. Saying that you don't do much on the weekends is basically starting this marathon by facing the wrong direction.
>>16436979
Hope this thread helps us.
>>16436980
A few close friends, yeah. I converse with everyone in my class pretty well though, but I don't know them well enough to hang out with them.
>>16436988
What do you mean?
First and foremost, find people. thats step 1.
>step 1: find people
most people find other people through work or through class. if you don't have people, let me know and I'll give you other suggestions. but first, find people you want to hang out with. got em? good.
>step 2: find something to do
this is generally something you have in common but haven't explored together.
>bro you love halo?
>halo bro? yeah i love halo bro?
>bro you want to play halo?
>fuck yeah i want to play halo bro!
its good to target people like yourself who don't seem to have a lot of social activity going on. but even if they have some, go for it. make sure you have something specific in mind. nothing sounds more lame then "hey you wanna hang out this weekend". its vague, and really creepy sounding to someone you haven't actually hung out with. try to bring it up naturally.
>what are you up to this weekend?
>friend: oh not much was just gonna watch american horror story cuz im ghey and hate myself i guess
>you: oh bummer. I was gonna spend the weekend playing halo bro, you like halo bro?
>yeah bro i love halo bro
>dude, coem play halo bro we'll have some beers, etc. bro
>yeah bro.
there you go. other people like other things. eventually what happens is you become comfortable enough that you dont need specific activities. it may be annoying, but try to target a gay friend. they are REALLY comfortable being friendzoned by straight guys.
step 3: repeat until you are comfortable.
eventually they just assume they can come over to hang out. it becomes longer and less defined. you walk into class and be like 'hey dude, lets hang saturday'. "alright sure, ill bring the meth".
any questions?
>>16437005
he means you need to know what the 'anything' you plan to do is. asking a friend 'hey you wanna hang this weekend' when you never hung out before is awkward. it also puts a lot of pressure on them to try and decide for you when you're the one who wanted to ask.
its the same reason why girls dont respond well to vague date offers.
>>16437011
>>16437009
Not OP, but basically in his situation.
This is the best advice I've seen in various threads on this topic. Some common activity to say, "hey let's do x," without x being incredibly gay/dumb/awkward.
My biggest problem now is that I'm weird and my x is usually like, "watch trailer park boys and smoke" or "make little clay figurines and paint them" or "play with dogs until point of exhaustion"
fuck how do I do things people want to join me in doing?
>>16437009
I know people who have the same common interests as me, I like acting in theatre productions and video games and I know people who like both respectively, but I've known them the duration of my high school career and I've never really tried doing stuff with them before so I assume it'd be unprecedented if I started breaking out of my shell now?
Also coincidentally this girl I've been texting has a shared interest with me of AHS so that's pretty interesting
>>16437011
That makes so much sense. Fuck.
>>16437009
>bro you love halo?
>halo bro? yeah i love halo bro?
>bro you want to play halo?
>fuck yeah i want to play halo bro!
>what are you up to this weekend?
>friend: oh not much was just gonna watch american horror story cuz im ghey and hate myself i guess
>you: oh bummer. I was gonna spend the weekend playing halo bro, you like halo bro?
>yeah bro i love halo bro
>dude, coem play halo bro we'll have some beers, etc. bro
>yeah bro.
You just won all my love and laughter and Idk why, but thank you anon
>>16437032
that may be hard, but you can try and pique their interest first. bring some clay figures with you, maybe make one for a friend or one to show a friend, perhaps based on an interst of thiers. be like dude 'check this out, i made this'. gauge his or her reaction, and invite them over. people say women dont like to have hobbies, but if they did, clay figurines would be one of them.
so feel free to make friends with a girl.
as for trailer park boys and smoking, thats more of a thing that happens AFTER you get them in with the 'hey lets do X". eventually thats what hang outs become. but if you know your friends smoke and binge watch, talk about shows until you find one in common, then just say "oh dude, nothing better than smoking a bowl while zoning out on house of cards". if they react positively be like "dude lets smoke out this weekend (or whatever your slang is, im too republican to smoke, but dont worry if i vote ill vote for legalization) and check out some episodes".
most stoners will go where free weed is.
to be honest i wish someone invited me to play with dogs or make little clay figurines. im not very artistic but i love playing with my own dog.
>>16437034
>but it'd be unprecedented if i broke out my shell now
so? who cares. the worst that can happen is someone you never hung out with doesn't want to hang out wiht you. i mean saying "hey lets do this common interest together" isnt going to make them say "EWWWW NO THAT WOULD BE GROSS I DONT EVEN KNOW UR NAME HOWD YOU GET INTO MY BATHROOM!?"
chill out, and just ask. sometimes being direct about it helps. i went to 5 high schools and was aware of how often i was moving. i had to literally say 'hey i got no one to hang with here, invite me over'.
do that as your last resort anon.
>that makes so much sense. fuck.
yep. re: 5 highschools. And i was an autistic son of a bitch, but i had to make friends everywhere i went or my dad would throw a fit.
>>16437044
>idk why
you're probably high, but it made me happy that you made me laugh so i guess we have to play halo now.
but seriously.
>>16437055
high on life my man
>but it made me happy that you made me laugh so i guess we have to play halo now.
stop your shit damnit, my sides
>>16437048
>>16437048
Thank you, anon. I appreciate your advice and feedback, I honestly am going to try to take it. I might need to start my morning with a shot of something in coffee for courage but I'm tired of spending all my time alone since my 2 friends moved away and this is the first legitimate tactic that makes sense.
>>16437053
Well see, going back to the whole theatre thing, I do a lot of fall shows/spring musicals with them but after practice or a performance when they'd be going out to eat or something I'd just usually go home. I'm better than average at acting meaning I get a good chunk of featured roles, so it's not that they don't know who I am but rather in the past I didn't try and talk to them. Thanks for the advice, anon.
>i had to make friends everywhere i went or my dad would throw a fit
My parents never cared, but it's pretty cool that yours wanted you to regularly do things on the weekend because through that you've built a vital social skill.
>>16437109
perhaps all that you have to do now is make the actual invitation yourself. if you know they usually go out to eat, ask them to join you at dennys instead. if they say 'oh we were going to eat at ihop cuz dennys is for fags, but you're welcome to join us' then there you go.
if they dont, they might not like you after this time. otherwise they would. but if they do invite you good. if not, look into other nerd circles.
theater groups and anime kids tend to be the two biggest nerd groups in a school (at least from my experience) and as long as they dont overlap it means you have a more fresh set of faces to try and worm your way into.
>>16437083
i wish you luck. if worse comes to worse, go for video games. most young men like video games, even if they dont play them ALL The time, so its not a weird activity to invite them to. while you may not enjoy em a whole lot, you can slowly transition them into your other activities.
good luck.
>>16437109
>its good
>Social skill
i mean i guess, but i took the easy way out. anytime i got to a new school id just immediately seek out the nerd group. I wasn't really into anime in highschool, but anime nerds will easily let you in if you've at least seen one anime, so its pretty easy. theater nerds are the second easiest to get into. pretentious, but not as exclusive. that was pretty much how i made friends in each school, just joined one or the other.
the moving has definitely given me a deeper look on how these relationships start, though i admittedly suck at maintaining them. i never had to make a relationship last more than 9 months, so as a result my personality gets annoying after that long
>>16437123
Naw, I'm sure it's not annoying. I've had some close friends in the past who've had to move schools as well, but y'know there's no longer the luxury of proximity there to aide in keeping close, so it's natural to drift.
I'm going to ask that girl out that I've been talking to next week now that I actually know how to now, I'm hyped as hell. Great thread everyone!
>>16437174
i think you misunderstand. What i mean to say is that because I moved around so much, i never had to develop likeable long term traits. as a result im VERY charming to people who meet me, and give a good first impression. from there it goes downhill because after 9 months i etiher moved, or they did. we did not have to worry about how we were perceived.
now as an adult, i have lived in the same city for 5 years, twice as long as anywhere i had ever been in my life. but i have only had one friendship last more then 9 months, even if they live right down the street, because they cannot put up with me after that.
its like when you hear that a fat chick HAS to develop a personality because its the only way to keep people around. i never had to keep people around, so long term personality is shit.
either way im glad my advice helped, good luck anon, i hope she says yes, but remember if she doesn't, it doesnt have to be bad. her yes or no is know more important than whether you eat chicken or fish tonight. you might eat chicken which is awesome, but if ur eating fish ur still eating.
either way, goodnight!
I'm in more or less an identical situation. Weird part is that I have older friends who I'm relatively comfortable with and can easily just casually ask them to hang out over lunch. But for some reason, I can't fucking do that with people my own age. For example, I'm in art class and i sit next to a friend that I've always wanted to get to know better but I can never muster up the courage to do it. And even when I do, i still feel hella awkward talking to people more often than not. Like i know i should probably ask him to hang out or something at some point but even then wtf would I do after?
