What is love /adv/?
I'm not trolling; I really don't understand the emotion. I always hear people talking about how they love their girlfriend or boyfriend or family, but I've never felt anything they describe love as being.
I have felt physically attracted to women, but that was only because I wanted to grab their tits and ride them. I never wanted to get to know them or make them my companions, and I sure as shit never wanted to "grow old with them." I was attracted to them purely because they were nice to fuck, and I would always throw them aside the minute I found something better to fuck.
Is that what love is /adv/? If not, can you explain what it feels like to love someone, how it differs from what I feel, and why I can't seem to feel love for anyone?
Why do you want to understand love?
>>17342268
Baby don't hurt me.
Okay now you can call me a summerfsg. I couldn't resist.
>>17342280
Because it genuinely confuses me. I hear people talking about it, and today my girlfriend asked me about it. It seems like everyone has some affliction called "love" where they're concerned about the people they "love," and I don't understand how they feel what they describe themselves as feeling, or even what it is specifically they feel at all. I don't understand or have any experience with it.
Is it like a kind of caring, like when a friend borrows something from you and you want it back in good condition so it'll be okay for you to use it?
>>17342268
The reason why you don't understand love is because you're probably a sociopath.
I define first love as the moment when two people place greater importance on the other over themselves. For this to happen requires empathy and self depreciation. They become more important to you than yourself. You rediscover yourself through their eyes. Why do you think breakups or unrequited love is so painful?
>>17342268
I feel afraid of that "grow up with me" stuff. I don't understand how people want to stay with a specific person the rest of their life. I've never said "I love you" to anyone and It's hard to think I will at some point of my life. That phrase it's just too delicate and serious for me, I prefer not saying it until I truly have strong feels for a person, which I think it'll never happen idk why
>>17342325
>you're probably a sociopath
How do you know?
>greater importance on the other over themselves
Why would you ever place importance on someone that is not you? Making them happy or satisfied does not make you happy; it only makes them happy, because they are a separate person. So why do it?
And how does that relate to the whole "I can't live without you" thing I've heard people talk about?
>they become more important to you than yoursel
Again, that makes no logical sense.
>you rediscover yourself through their eyes
That's another thing I don't understand. How do you see yourself through someone else's eyes? They are not you; you have no access to their thoughts. So how do you do it?
>breakups are so painful
What specifically makes breakups so difficult?
My first breakup was, but now I forget about them almost as soon as I decide to leave. That could be because my first girlfriend initiated my first breakup, whereas I have initiated all the subsequent ones, though.
I still really don't understand any of this.
>>17342294
>>17342355
jesus christ, you're so edgy it hurts me
you said you have a girlfriend, just dump her and tell her you value yourself more than her. remember, you're more important than her.
>>17342355
>Making them happy or satisfied does not make you happy; it only makes them happy, because they are a separate person. So why do it?
>implying
When you love someone, making them happy does make you happy. It just does.
>Again, that makes no logical sense
"Love" is not a logical, rational, concious choice. It's a very powerful, instinctual emotion.
If you take a biological anthropology class or an evolutionary psychophy class, it will probably be explained in a way you'd better understand it. The emotion of "love" (aka a bond) is advantageous in species with dependence on other members of the species, specifically offspring that are very dependent on parents.
>>17342355
people have gfs and bfs and breakups with them as if they were recycable objects. I don't understand how people keep saying "it's painful" or "I love her/him" when they know they will say that to another person a few months later
>>17342371
What? I'm saying what I think. I'm not pretending or anything. How is that "edgy?"
>>17342373
>when you love someone, making them happy does make you happy
Why?
>love is not logical
Well, is there any way to explain it in a semi-logical way?
>if you take a biological anthro class
I have. I understand why pair-bonding and forming complicated relationships is advantageous. I just don't understand what exactly people are feeling when they form such relationships?
What do you *feel* when you tell someone you love them?
>>17342390
I don't know if I can explain the feeling exactly. The person just makes you very very happy, and the thought of not having them makes you very very distressed.
Have you ever used drugs or had an addiction? I haven't, but "love" basically uses the same neural pathways so I've read it can be comparable.
>>17342268
It's some strange thing that has to do with chemistry in your head and the fact that humans are social beings. There is some science behind it that has been quite well documented, so you can look into it.
It's not exactly space magic, but not raw biology either.
DESU I don't understand it either, but hope that some day I will.
pic and vid very related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V4IEV8l-gA
Love is just one of those words that have become abstract concepts like God or soul also has.
Don't worry too much about it op, the culture you live in is irrational and overly feminized so it latches itself into a weird concept like love as a be all end all. But since no one understands love or can explain it to you you get a lot of crazies around.
The power of love is a curious thing
make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
more than a feeling that's the power of love
Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
make a bad one good make a wrong one right
power of love that keeps you home at night
You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life
That's the power of love
>>17342404
>the person makes you very happy
Some people make me happy too, but that doesn't feel like how I've heard love be described.
>the thought of not having them makes you very distressed
I have felt that before.
>have you ever used drugs
No. But I know people who have, and if that's the effect love has on you, I'm glad I've never felt it.
>>17342786
It's not that I worry about it, it's that I'm curious. Basically, I want to feel it myself to see what it's like.
>>17343057
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?
>>17342268
what on earth makes you think anybody on 4chan would understand love? I mean some probably do, but that's like going to a weight-loss forum and asking what's the best place to find size 0 clothes.
if you really want to understand it and don't have the opportunity to experience it, get some info from someone who actually knows something about it. try some of leo buscaglia's books.
>>17343903
>reading books on romance
>paying for books on how to love someone
I have a penis, anon.
