Emotional Abuse
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I just broke up with a girl I was seeing off and on for seven months. It was a very stressful time for me; others and even herself claim that she was emotionally abusive towards me.
Minor things, that in my head played out as me being a pussy or just sensitive, were actually major indicators of abuse. As a result, I'm left feeling really hollow. I poured a lot of emotional energy, time and effort into trying to make this girl as comfortable and as happy as possible. How do I recover or feel like I can invest in others or even just function?
The situation has revealed a lot of depression and anxiety on my end, usually showing itself as anger issues or emotional instability. I just want to feel normal, not broken, tired or sad that couldn't be the person I needed to be for this specific girl.
>>17333409
When you realize you've set unreasonable and unrealistic standards for your emotional state you'll feel better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VrFV5r8cs0
>>17333409
>sad that couldn't be the person I needed to be for this specific girl.
What sort of person do you think you needed to be anon? What do you think you could have done to make her not an abusive person? Why are you the only one who needed to be a certain way for it to work? Why didn't she need to be less emotionally abusive?
You can't be responsible for how someone else feels and what they want. You can't be a good enough person to just MAKE someone else want to be good too. You need to let go of that.
>>17333447
There's a lot to it. Essentially she's struggling with her sexual identity; at the very least bisexual but more than likely a lesbian.
Recognizing that she needed to figure this out, I would break it off and she would reinitiate our romance through various means: telling me to come over and fuck her, telling me she's made a mistake disregarding our chemistry, telling me she loved me. at one point she told me she was considering suicide and needed me for support. All of these instances had a backlash of "I cannot commit to you. I told you I can't do a relationship and I want women". I was often made to feel that I was in the wrong and that I was subtlely manipulating her to my wants. I have a biased perspective, but more often than not I bent over backwards to accommodate her.
You make strong valid points, but I cannot help but I was the one in the wrong; I was the bad fit and should have left her to her own devices.
I didn't think I could fix her by being good enough, I thought I could fix her by showing that compassion others still exists. I just got taken advantage of though.
