I am a man, born a boy and raised in the north of England. My main interests/hobbies are Video Games, Bodybuilding and Rugby. I always struggled in academics due to lack of focus or interest, but I always maintained a position in the middle of the pack. Happy to be mediocre, I currently manage a medium-sized retail chain branch in my local town. Not the best but comfortable.
I am average, I would say.
I am also half-Chinese, a fact which has tainted every aspect of my life and left my achievements either unnoticed, or recognized in a back-handed way.
Mini background: Mum met Dad etc and they started a family, but Dads main interest was permanent residence in the UK. My parents divorced and Mum took my siblings and I far away from Dad. As such, I have no link or sentiment for Chinese culture.
Chinese Art? Music? History? Politics? Culture? Not really bothered. My life has never included these things and so I do not identify with them. When I think of myself and my traits, being half-Chinese is incidental and does not reflect in my personality or identity.
The world, however, sees me as the Chinese guy. They say I'm an academic failure [for a Chinese guy], a good laugh [for a Chinese guy], pretty strong [for a Chinese guy]. People have on occasion stopped me in the street to ask "when are you going, you know, home?". People interrupt me mid-sentence to compliment my English, and ask me how many languages I speak. People stop me to comment on my beard, as of course no Chinese guy can grow facial hair.
When I work hard to achieve something, my efforts are minimized to the point where achievements are simply unrecognized or taken for granted. I either achieved something only because I'm half-Chinese, or what I've achieved is so un-Chinese that there are no words that apply.
I have only shared this sentiment with a few close friends and Mum. When I told Mum, she found me a therapist, hoping that a professional could assuage my hangup and I would stop talking about it.
My therapist fed me Tublrisms; I should "do me". I should embrace my culture because it a beautiful, shining aspect of myself that I can present to the world. Forget that noise. I do not want to accept it. I do not want to embrace it. I do not care for it. I have nothing to do with it. I feel 'normal' but look 'different'.
I wish I were white, and nothing will change that.
So how I help people understand? My co-workers all think I moonlight for a Restaurant/Takeaway, and are attempting to find out which.
People will never truly understand you because there is no benefit for them. Just remember to love yourself, and believe there is a better tomorrow. Be happy and kind to others, and you will find yourself in a better place.
>>17331704
Kill your biological father.
It is the only way.
Have you considered plastic surgery?
>>17331748
No, killing the last chineseman before him won't cure it. He has to track down the original werechinese and put silver through its heart.
>>17331759
That sounds marvelous
It's this fucking thread again
im full ching chong born in the uk and even I sound happier than you do. the fact you've got the dna of the china man is not the problem. sort out your career, your academics or your appearance - just sort your life out.
I look like a fobby chinese but that doesnt mean I think any less of myself. I'm middle class and educated to university level, work in the professions and speak better english than probably 90% of the country.
did you go to university?
>>17331704
Why is it the mentally ill self hating losers are always into bodybuilding? Is it true people with extreme self esteem issues try to razzle dazzle everyone and make a spectacle out if themselves so everyone looks at the shiny surface and not the pathetic person inside?
I can relate. Well sort of. I grew up in a town that was 50/50 spanish and white. My mom is from south america and my dad--blond hair blue eyes. All the kids could never really figure out what the hell I was and I never really knew either. Maybe this won't help at all now that I think about it but I my racial makeup didn't factor into my identity. As far as I cared, I was a mutt, and it didn't matter to me. Maybe this is why a lot of my friends were weird as fuck (in the 8th grade my friend got a full arm tattoo of his WoW guild's insignia). The other kids/people could care all they wanted but it was something outside of my control. It wasn't worth getting angry or sad or whatever over something I had no control over.
In essence, they're retarded, rise above the hate
>>17331704
People are silly and ridiculous. Pay them no mind.
This is honestly the best advice i have for you.
>>17331704
Move to California
>>17331878
Sounds like you're the one projecting
Maybe you should try bodybuilding
>>17331710
I wish were Asian. I am white from America and where I'm from an Asian is like a black chick with blue eyes.
People expect more from me because I'm white. Almost none of my friends are white. I don't identify with white people. At least I feel a connection to Chinese culture. I'm picked apart and treated like a second class citizen then criticized because I'm 'the white man'
If I were Asian, i'd just because the token Asian guy.
Half white half hispanic male here. Never had a problem with racial identity, had friends from different cultures when I was younger. It was only when I got older that race and culture became more of an issue, but it was the people around me that MADE it an issue. I've always striven to see myself as an individual first and foremost, and not what others expected of me. I've had my moments where I've faltered, but ultimately I never relinquished control over myself.
I know this sounds corny and repetitive, but at the end of the day you have to be yourself. Rise above the bullshit, be who you are and sooner or later the people who REALLY matter, will take notice. You'll find them, trust me. Good luck anon.
This world is filled with ignant dumbasses. Pay them no mind.
>>17333557
I already do :^)
