conflicting feelings towards ex

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conflicting feelings towards ex 2016-07-02 18:22:35 Post No. 17316853
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conflicting feelings towards ex Anonymous 2016-07-02 18:22:35 Post No. 17316853 [Report]

I'm 24, She's 18.

I've made the grave mistake of adding my ex back to give '' a better explanation to why i left''. I followed an advice from /adv/ (a good one, if you're reading this is passing for a similar problem), and broke up with her after being tired of her immatureness and mostly because she attempted to make me jealous with a guy that legitimately raped her(long story, the rape was legit, she's still an attentionwhore and i'm aware, don't worry). I felt angry and hatred, but couldn't manage to find a reason to break up because for some reason i didn't want to admit that was the reason. So i just said i couldn't go on, that i wasn't feeling the same as her and left, without expecting an answer and what not. That was a good decision, and a good advice in general.

Now, the bad decision again; for some reason, i added her back, and gave her a better explanation. She said i should have communicated better that those things ''trigger'' me and stuff, which i found ridiculous. She wanted to get back, i said no, yadda yadda. Thing is, we still talk, we play together, but everytime i play together, i feel hatred.

That very same kind of hatred i felt on the day she tried to make me jealous,just not of course the same intensity. Whether she brings a friend or not, i just hate being in contact. I think things will go smoothly, then we just need to play together for me to feel incredible bad again. That disgust, that hate, everything (which, to this day, she doesn't comprehend, since she's immature) comes.

I know i should just cut contact again. But i want to know why, other than feeling that. Why am i feeling that? Am i still not over her? Is it jealousy over friends when she invites them to bring with us? I know those options sounds ridiculous and the answer is rather obvious, but i want to know. I want to hear; What should i do, and why do i feel this? Also please tell me how dumb i was in adding her back. I really need to be beaten the fuck out.

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the LawFag 2016-07-02 19:05:21 Post No.17316923
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the LawFag 2016-07-02 19:05:21 Post No.17316923 [Report]

>>17316853
Fine, I'll beat you up. You're an idiot for getting back in contact. You were out, and now you're back in. And you know that it was a mistake or you wouldn't be posting here.

You've got a streak of narcissism. You can't stand the thought of someone being out there who isn't thinking well of you and is totally fine with you're reasons for breaking up.

Your answer is in the first line. You're 24 and she's 18. Yes, girls mature earlier than guys, but 6 years is alot at this age. You're a man now, she's stuck in her teens still and might never get further mentally.

Give it up already.

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Anonymous 2016-07-02 19:27:51 Post No.17316961
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Anonymous 2016-07-02 19:27:51 Post No.17316961 [Report]

>>17316923
I don't want her back. ''Can'' i cut contact? She's unstable and needs at least one reliable person in her life (she got none) and all that. If yes, how do i do so? And those feelings of hatred, do you know what they are? Are they left overs? Do they mean something i don't know? They must be more obvious for a third party than to me.

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the LawFag 2016-07-02 19:51:52 Post No.17317019
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the LawFag 2016-07-02 19:51:52 Post No.17317019 [Report]

>>17316961
You're taking responsiblity for her feelings. You say you can't cut contact, but you already broke up with her. But you got yourself back in because of your narcisissism.

I went through something similar with my ex. After we split up, she went from one crappy boyfriend to another. When she was down, she'd call me for support. When she was up she treated me like I was the enemy. It took years for me to learn that I don't care how she feels about me anymore.

Why did I care in the first place? Narcisissism You're doing the same thing. I didn't want my ex back either and still don't, but I wanted to make myself feel like she knew that I was the best she ever had. Stupid.

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Anonymous 2016-07-02 19:55:57 Post No.17317025
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Anonymous 2016-07-02 19:55:57 Post No.17317025 [Report]

>>17316853
Don't get back into contact with exes unless it is to share a STD result.
You don't owe anyone an explanation unless they ask for it
You don't date girls who are raped and don't report it to the police
You don't keep exes on social media

You are getting uppity over her because you are a drama queen, you want the drama, you encourage her back into your life, you have nothing else going on.

If you want to cut contact, delete her on all social media and anything else you have her on, don't talk to her, block her if you really struggle with not talking to her.

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Anonymous 2016-07-02 20:52:25 Post No.17317125
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Anonymous 2016-07-02 20:52:25 Post No.17317125 [Report]

>>17317019
>>17317025
Thank you both.