Autism
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
What are some topics to have a banal conversation about?
By banal conversation I mean a conversation with the goal of establishing a social and emotional bond, rather than talking about something meaningul and important.
I'm asking because I have moderate autism and don't have any friends because I'm bad at banal conversation.
>>17295088
Boring backstory, but i think it's important to understand the setting:
> be me, 5 years ago
> 28 at the time
> work on a ship, 5 week rotation, 12 hour shifts, pretty much cut off from the rest of the world
> spend 99% of my shifts in a control room with 5 others, each of us with our area of responsibility.
> at times very calm days, where people try to break the silence
> me decide to ask a question from Fight Club:
"If you could fight any person in history, who would you pick?"
> Seemed most people had never seen the movie, and actually found the question intriguing.
> clarified that winning the fight was not the goal, neither was beating someone up. Purely engaging someone in a fistfight.
> turned out my question sparked a loooong discussion on the topic, lasting for the remainder of my shift.
> other shift was debating this when i returned the next day.
Answers fiven, that i can remember:
Our boss
Wayne Rooney
Justin Beiber
Bob Saget
Mother Theresa
>>17295088
weather
sports
movies
TV show last night
celebrities
news
new store/restaurant/bar in town
gossip
>don't have any friends
I think it's because you used the word "banal" 3 times in your OP.
>>17295137
>>17295193
Thanks for the advice.
Would it be correct to say that the main goal of banal conversation is to get to know what somebody's opinion is on some random topic, to show interest in the person?
>>17296149
Exactly. Opinions matter more than just facts or story telling. If they feel a certain way about a certain topic (when you've asked them), then continue by asking why (for what reason) they feel like that (i.e. good/bad experiences they had) or whatever makes it personal and not just a simple stated fact thing.
>>17296149
For the most part, yes. In my case in that control room, i mostly just wanted to get people talking to break the deafening silence that was only occasionally broken by noise from the backdeck.
>>17295088
I'm not really good at it while being neurotypical, mainly because I have wildly diverging interests from most people I interact with. The trick is to start asking them simple, broad questions on topics they may be interested in, then iteratively use the knowledge you gain from that to ask more pertinent questions and offer your input (remember to filter out what they may dislike but stay sincere).
