I am 25 now but I feel like I wasted my time in college from a "getting to know yourself" stand point. I still have no idea about sexual things. Still haven't had a girlfriend and have not been drunk or anything. I am getting upset because my friends called me foolish for not taking advantage of those years.
Are those years really that important? I mostly feel sickened by the no girlfriend part. I have never had the spark to attract women.
What's important about those years is that you have no obligations and you get away with more stupid shit because people don't expect you to have more forethought and sense of responsibility. And of course hooking up and casually dating a twenty year old when you are also twenty is different from either dating a twenty five year old, or dating a twenty year old when you have five years on them. In that sense doors have absolutely closed.
But
>from a "getting to know yourself" stand point
I don't really agree with. There are plenty of people who spend their late teens and early twenties YOLO'ing it up, and that won't magically give you insight in yourself and what you want out of life. (At most it can cause you to get sick of fucking randoms and partying.) For that you need the combination of experiencing and trying things AND introspection, and introspection is something that many young people lack and don't value either. So don't worry too much about that part.
It's also not true that just because you missed the most cliche period to find yourself, you can no longer do crazy stuff or have those first flutters. You would probably be surprised at how many people are in a similar position and don't follow exactly the same timeline as most. Besides, there is absolutely no point in chewing on regret about this. You made your choices, deal with them, and if you're unhappy use that as incentive to make different choices now. Everything else is useless and a waste of your energy and time.
>>17291496
It really doens' t matter if you enjoyed those years.
>I have never had the spark
It's called flirting, woman will assume you're not interrested if you don't show them you're interrested. Try it.
>>17291538
But flirting with women will earn you their anger. I don't go clubbing so flirting with women in everyday areas seems unnatural.
>>17291552
You probably have a completely wrong idea of what flirting is.
>>17291554
Then what is flirting? I feel there is no way to flirt respectfully
>>17291605
What flirting boils down to is interacting in a way that tips the other one off that you are charmed by them, but doesn't give them the confirmation that you are straightforwardly into them. It's a game in that sense: you dangle your interest in their face, but they don't know if they can actually get it or not.
That can take a million different shapes. Being playful in an otherwise professional setting can be flirting - like when a coworker you fancy has to do something and you deadpan to her that now shit's going to fall apart, followed by a cheeky grin. That is flirting because you treat her informally when that is not the expectation. Think of it the way guys will shit talk each other and be polite with guys they're about to fight with. They are not sincerely offending eah other, the deeper message of the interation is "we are such good friends that I can get away with treating you like this".
So flirting can mean saying something offensive while making it clear that you don't mean it, it can be a compliment or a look that shows your attraction, it can be an inside joke that creates a wink-wink type situation where you exclude the rest of the world. It is more about your attitude going into it than the specific form.
>>17291613
So who can i flirt with? I rarely see women my age I work at a university but it's against the law here to have a relationship with a student if you are a employee or faculty.
>>17291654
In theory everyone, but given your questions (no offense intended) I don't think you could do it smoothly and subtly enough for every situation to pull it off without looking like you're actually coming on to someone. In that case stick to people like friends of friends/girls from your social circle.
>>17291669
Well I am fucked then. I don't have the options you recommend. I also read that dudes shouldn't have female friends because you will develop feelings for them.
>>17291761
It is a big risk if you are inexperienced. It's not a hard rule, female friendships can teach you things about women being regular people with flaws and annoying habits... that can help not putting prospective dates on a pedestal. But if you're not used to being around a girl, it is risky to spend a lot of one on one time with one you like and have things in common with, absolutely.
If you don't have friends, that should be your primary concern.
>you will never own a IntraTec-9
This world is a cruel one.
>>17291781
Have they been decommionsed?
>>17291774
I understand. I have friends, it's just they are greasy turbo nerds. So obviously no girls there. I ride the bus a lot but talking to girls on there seems super scummy.
If you got an education, for real, you didn't loose your time.
