I have what my friends are calling a "good problem." but I don't know how to handle it.
I met a girl online months ago and ended up meeting up with her while traveling back in the spring. We hooked up, had a good couple of days together, and then we sort of left it as a fun life experience with the plan to never speak again.
A few weeks later, she got really shitfaced and contacted me upset that it ended like it did and I ended up calling her. We struck up our old conversations, and from there started skyping, texting, calling, and all of that at least once or twice a week. This also led to sending pics (including nudes), phone/skype sex, and sort of snowballed into "wish you were here" type talk.
At some point I mentioned that I could fly down, but then renegged when I got slammed with hard times, and so she went and bought a ticket instead to come see me. She'll be spending nearly a week at my place and once that was "set" suddenly I am the talk of her family and friends, this "mysteriously amazing guy she met on vacation who must be her destined love."
Here's the shitty thing though: I don't really want this. At all.
She lives across the country, for one, and while we talked about "if only" I know that, deep down, this could never work. I can't support a long-term relationship and don't plan on leaving my job or my life, and I know that she is in a similar boat. We're chasing at "maybes" at this point.
For two, I haven't felt as strong a desire to talk to her as I did a few weeks ago. To be completely honest, I haven't even contacted her over the phone or social media in about a week and she flies up in less than a day.
>>17281846
That way she and I originally described the trip was "testing the waters" to see if we could click a second time around. But as time wore on, it became "I just want to be with you" and "I can't wait for you to hold me and fuck me in person again." Way more from her than me, but I definitely said similar things at some point in our conversations.
To throw an even bigger wrench in the works, while I said I felt "okay with being single" while she was in the picture I did actually meet somebody. I felt this extreme urge to get out there rather than waiting for this girl a thousand miles away, and started putting myself out into the open on dating apps, at bars, in my social circles, etc. This girl is totally aware as I slowly injected the idea into conversations, but I think she's overconfident that I will be true to her. And, last week, without her knowing, I met somebody who is not only a really fun, interesting match, but she is local. Which is huge. I've already taken this girl out on a date and hung out with her two more times, and it's a feeling I haven't had in a while -- not even with the girl I met on the vacation.
It's almost like this girl from out of state was my stopgap to satisfy my urges until I met somebody who satisfied my needs.
I feel like a tremendous fucking idiot. I have no idea how I want to handle this, but my gut is telling me to ditch the girl from out of state. Even if it means slowly being a "terrible host" so that she comes up with her own decision to drop me. I don't know how else to handle it and still land on my feet.
Help?
>tl;dr have a girl I met online and in person flying out to visit me for a week, but I'm not feeling it anymore and only recently met somebody else who is a better match and also not a thousand miles away and inaccessible. How do I let down the girl from out of state?
>>17281846
By long-term relationship I met "long distance." Oops!
I want nothing more than a LTR, but it can't be with somebody who I can only twice a year...
Boring. Just fuck them both, nobody's promised anything yet
