So, I moved to Illinois 2 years ago from Michigan with my girlfriend and ended up having kid with her in Illinois. Our relationship has been tumultuous at times, but she hasn't worked, and I've always supported her and her habits (cigarettes, weed, etc.). About 2 months ago, she met some friends at the park, and pretty much stopped coming home for 10+ hours per day. So, when I was home, she was gone, and when I was at work, she was at home. It quickly got to the point where she was gone on the weekends, as well. She blamed it on my attitude, but I would only get upset because she was spending so much time away from me, the baby, the apartment, and because her drinking was starting to get out of hand (I would find cans of Milwaukee's Best strewn across the backseat of my car almost every day).
After a month or so of BS, I would occasionally come home to this dude chilling in our apartment with her. I found out that she was drinking pretty heavily with him, and at one point I actually found him passed out on my apartment balcony next to a mess of empty beer cans and liquor while my girlfriend was passed out in the bedroom. I was like "who's taking care of the baby?" Her playpen was facing the balcony for some unknown reason, and if she would have woken up, she'd have seen his drunken ass.
At this point I was like, fuck it, and started tracking her every move via GPS. Coupled with all the call logs I managed to dig up, I realized that this asshole was taking the bus to my apartment every day as soon as I went to work. And if that wasn't bad enough, she was taking my car to go hang out with him as soon as I got home, as well. All the while, she kept telling me that she wants to be with me, and that she would never cheat or sleep around.
She was taking my money, buying 30 packs of Milwaukee's Best, and practically living in my car at times. Beer cans everywhere, clothes, food all over the place. It smelled, and she was slowly destroying it until she got busted the other day for her 3rd DUI. Her charges were possession of cannabis 2.5-10 grams, paraphernalia, the DUI, and transporting alcohol. She was arrested and spent 3 days in jail until her mother managed to gather enough money to bail her out. I actually went to the jail to bail her out on the day of her arrest, but then I got a call from one of her friends that basically confirmed all of my suspicions and then some. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I just took a cab back home. Despite this, she kept begging me and vehemently denied doing anything sexual with that asshole. She was like “I want to see my baby girl. How could you do this to your child's mother!!?” My car got impounded, but I had to wait all weekend to get it out. The car was a fucking disaster like usual, but I found out that the windshield had a massive crack in the center of it as well.
She was supposedly drinking with this guy in a random parking lot and the two of them had started arguing. He bailed, and she ended up passing out. Someone noticed that she was passed out and called the police. The keys were in the ignition and I believe the car was still running. As previously mentioned though, she got out. We spent like 3 hours talking and she divulged everything that's been happening.
And instead of spending time with her baby girl, she went to the park, and this dude picked her up and they went to back to his place and partied with several of his friends all night. She told me that she would come back at some point today to chill with me and the baby, but I don't see that happening. She's probably going to jail for a little while, and probation is a definite. A 3rd DUI is no joke. I'm pretty fucking hurt. How could she lie to me and string me along for so long like that? I may push for full custody. Hell, I don't think that I want to be in this state anymore. Realistically speaking, what would be the best plan of attack? I don't know what to do
Talk to a lawyer. You need to get out of that relationship and you need to ensure that you get full custody of the kid.
>>17281967
>>17281961
I was going to say to just take your kid abandon the apartment and become a single dad, especially considering child laws in the us. but because this is her third dui and drug possession bust ect ect you should take her to court get sole custody of your child and dump this useless human being in the gutter where you found her. even though she just got busted hard it still is probably going to be a difficult ordeal because that's how fucked up custody laws are in the us.
>>17281975
sue for full custody. she has a clearly demonstrable substance abuse problem, so it should be pretty cut and dry as far as court goes. then take your child and come back to michigan. this girl is absolute trash, be thankful that you didnt marry her. and she should be thankful that you are not me- i would have gotten a few female friends together to beat some sense into her.
>>17281961
Jesus fucking Christ, I'm so fucking mad now.
You working you ass off for that.
Do what >>17281980 said. You will be fine considering she has nothing to win against you in the court.
>>17281975
>I may push for full custody.
Don't say "may". Say "will". You have a moral responsibility to do what's best for your child. And what's best for the kid is clearly to get her as far away from that woman as possible. Time to step up.
Jesus, man.
Sorry for your shitstorm.
Gather proof, take photos, etc. Record calls maybe.
...fuck. True I have no other data than what you gave us, but I can't see a better outcome than you becoming a single dad with full custody.
Good luck with everything
