>meet homely girl
>she has a 10/10 personality
>she takes great care of her body
>she works out 7 days a week
>she studies 7 days a week
>she is out of school
>she
>she is very stable financially
>we have many shared interests
>she gives me my space and I give her her space
>she only ever talks about happy memories she's got
>she's got a lot of them, but they're all weirdly specific
>like we were hiking up a mountain and she kept talking about things that she did with her dad and brother on that mountain, all happy
>it is fairly obvious that she doesn't talk about the hardships she's endured
>it is fairly obvious that there are a lot of them
>she has weird scars on her inner thighs and on the backs of her knees
>they are not cutting scars
>they look a lot like stretch marks
>but she's never been fat
>I'm 99% confident that she's self conscious about them
>so they never come up in conversation
>I'm really curious though
[cont]
>But I don't want to ask because she only ever brings up bad memories if there's extreme relevance
>Like I asked her why she won't invite me over on holidays to hang with her and her folks
>She told me that she isn't close to any of her non-immediate relatives
>Also that her step-dad is prone to anger
>Another example is I asked her why, since she's been trying to patch things up with her parents, why she doesn't try patching things up with her other folks
>She told me that she likes to take one thing at a time
>And cousins used to bully her
>And she never met most of her aunts and uncles, except the ones she has met were garbage human beings barring her uncle Greg
>About the scars
>She's told me about some of her scars
>Dog bit her face when she was young
>Hurt her eye sledding when she was young
>Dog bit her arm when she was young
>Someone threw a shotput at her when she was in highschool
>Someone threw a rock at her before she switched elementary schools
>But she just never talks about the scars on her inner thighs and the scar on her wrist and the scar on her right breast
>And I'm really curious
>But I don't want to hurt her by asking
>Is there any way to bring it up without being an asshole?
>>17253957
Maybe making assumptions but it sounds like she was raped
>>17253957
I'm partially the same as your gf. I feel for her.
Let me show you examples :
> " I love you, I cannot tell you how much I love you, and I'm seeing those scars. I mean I understand that if you don't talk about it, then I will never push you to do it. I just wanted you to know that I will always be here and that if someday you need to open your heart to someone, I will be here for you, as long as it takes."
Watch out, if this is really important she might get on the defensive, don't answer back, just say that you're sorry, and that you will never bring that subject again if she doesn't want to.
In the end, you don't need to know if she doesn't want to, maybe after years and years, in a drunk night she will tell you about it. Maybe not, never push her, you have the right to bring the subject once as the caring bf you are and you can't ever pressure her to talk about it, some people can leave you for that shit.
Also, remind her how beautiful she are, how you love her and how you will make her forget every bad memories. From your description, she's sad little woman who fought her own destiny to get money, studies, got out of her shit-hole of a family. If you're 100% confident she's self-concious about it, make her forget that pain.
You wanted to ask about her scars, I'm warning you about her, don't mess this up man. You've got yourself fragile but magnificent girl there.
>>17253962
Yup that might be it, but it can only stay as a hidden assumption. Break her privacy and she will feel attacked in the deepest scar, her psyché.
Leave it alone? If she wants to tell you, she'll tell you. Respect boundaries.
>>17253962
>she was raped
I really don't think it was rape. The scars are on her thighs, breast and wrists. I guess I could see the one on the breast being from some weird rape stuff, but the ones on her thighs? And even her wrist? Wrists aren't even remotely related to sex.
>>17253978
I thought I was doing a pretty good job of respecting her boundaries. I've only three times asked her about touchy subjects that she didn't open conversation about--to ask her why she wouldn't introduce me to her family, to ask if I could help her resolve her stutter, and to ask whether she was okay with having sex.
But like I said she's told me about all the other scars on her body except those ones. I'm just really curious is all. Is it wrong to be curious?
>>17253995
>And even her wrist? Wrists aren't even remotely related to sex.
It depends. Some people have marks from being roughly restrained.
>Is it wrong to be curious?
It's okay to be curious, but sometimes it's best to wait until you've been together for a while before asking. I'm talking years.
>>17254000
>And even her wrist? Wrists aren't even remotely related to sex.
>It depends. Some people have marks from being roughly restrained.
Stretch marks though? I mean I guess I can conceive of that happening. But it's over a pretty great area on her thighs. So it'd be pretty incredible for it to happen that way.
I was more thinking that she was a burn victim or something and they had to stretch the skin to fit. Or something more along those lines.
Then again she was pretty scared the first time we had sex.
>>17254050
You need to let it go man. This isn't healthy for you. Accept she'll tell you when she's ready and stop trying to sleuth and see things where there may not be anything. .
Also, I was never fat, people say I am 80 pounds soaking wet yet i have horrid stretch marks on my thighs from when they suddenly grew from stick to thicker stick.
