>TL;DR
>Gf has a low- /no sexdrive and is always tired due to medical reasons
>wasn't like this before
>she says it will get better
>been 4 months already
Now for some backstory:
We have had a relationship for a couple of years now, and recently she's had surgery and medication that effects her mood in general.
This has caused her to have more mood swings then usual, she's always tired and she barely wants to have sex.
Now normally I wouldn't be nagging about this, because I understand. I understand she is in a difficult time now and this is a long process, however she just keeps saying things like: 'Let's spend some quality time together!' or that she's horny, and then when we meet she's too tired to do anything.
She's promised me quite a few times that she will try and thing about my needs, however this has been going on for so long now and nothing has changed.
We've talked about this and she understands my side of the story, but it's just empty promises because after 1 week it's just back at the old pattern.
I do really love her, but the intimacy is as good as gone.
What is the appropriate thing to do now? I have noticed myself getting agitated at nothing because I already know we're not gonna have sex or that she's just gonna go to bed at 10pm.
Any advice guys?
Your girl is a typical shitty girl. What i mean by that is 99% of women will say what they know you want to hear and then turn around and do whatever they want to do. This usually gets them results that are in their favor and when someone finally blows up on them its a victim parade full of the words "tired, depressed, stressed, busy,unappreciated, anxious"
Dump her anon, the only way these people learn is like a fat spoiled child getting its toy ripped away finally. Otherwise they will continue to believe that telling you what you want to hear and then doing whatever they want to with the ocassional excuse will always be ok behavior
>>16488659
Tbh that's not my gf at all, but thanks for responding.
>>16488680
>has been saying shes horny for over past week when you arent there
>whenever you show up withholds sex
Alright m8
>>16488640
>>16488680
have you two tried aphrodisiacs?
or done some physical activity to get your hormones steaming from your bodies? They could help.
>>16488640
Lol I literally just posted a thread about this. Only I'm the girlfriend. Our situations are identical only it's only been a couple weeks for me avoiding sex.
I can't speak for your girlfriend but personally i am still head over heels in love with my boyfriend. I just have zero sex drive anymore. Mine I think is physical exhaustion.
I feel like guys have it worse here because it actually hurts to get backed up. For us, if the drive isn't there, it's just...irrelevant.
4 months is a long time though.
Is the medical issue there forever? Will the medicines be gone soon? Or is this problem indefinite?
imagine being in her shoes. you can't just flick a switch and suddenly be in the mood or not tired.
wether you should stick it out is a whole different story and depends on your feelings and relationship.
>>16488696
It's forever, medication should be on a stop in 2 months, but I think this problem will last.
>>16488690
No we haven't, however I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing we needed supplements to get the mood going... This would only make it more depressing for me
>>16488699
The problem isn't if I'm going to sit it out, because I will. I'm asking you guys what the appropriate thing to do is now, I just don't know how to maintain the situation.
>>16488723
Have you tried the old song and dance? Bath with salts, massage after? Cuddling? Making out after you brush your teeth? Etc
>>16488744
We have discussed boundaries. Point is my sexdrive is 12/10 and she didn't feel comfortable (read 'guilty') if I kept making advances towards sex.
So we set up boundaries that she's now responsible for initiating sex.
I'll try it though, thanks anon
>>16488744
I forgot to mention, the cuddling, massages and making her dinner and stuff.. I do this on the regular basis, I really try to set a mood however usually it ends up with us watching series, mostly me watching with her sleeping.
>>16488750
Haha you have more self control than my boyfriend. In the apartment, I feel like a fat, juicy, gazelle in the Lions den. God forbid I go anywhere near his penis. I can literally hear the metal gear solid alert noise go off if I do lol
How do you deal? Any advice I can pass on to the boyfriend?
>>16488640
Dump her seriously I can't stress this enough. I've been in this situation. You're being used or your time, money and attention. Do you really think you can't do better than effectively being friend zoned by your ex?
Masterbate more, hire a prostitute, or break up
>>16488760
Are you sure you're not my boyfriend lol
What's weird is I'll occasionally get wet with absolutely no 'trigger' and ironically it's when he is nowhere in sight. I hate it. He doesn't deserve it :/
>>16488760
WOW. So she comes round and gets pampered and you get nothing out of it. Can you really not see what she's doing? You're being used while she's looking for a fat cock to lock down until then she's keeping you as her pet.
>>16488762
Haha! The visual images in my head are cracking me up.
No advice tho, it's just a depressing thought of mine. I feel like this is never gonna be fixed, and every time she comes up to me and we actually do have sex gives me a spark of hope.
>>16488765
It's just not that easy, aside from this she's wife material man..
>>16488784
Lol yeah marry her i'm sure that'll fix all the sex problems. Dump her, it'll hurt and it'll suck after a week you'll start to pull yourself together hang out with your friends and family more and cut all contact with her. You'll hear she's getting dicked by chad with in 3 weeks of breaking up (no sex drive my ass) it'll hurt. Hit the gym read some books and enjoy your hobbies. You'll meet someone new while she's failing to lock anyone down and crying about it or tagging around with some beta faggot.
>>16488640
It's possible for things to change. My gf was on heavy meds and birth control for a year so she had absolutely no sex drive. Now that she's off her stuff everything is great. She even appreciates that I stuck with her.
