I'm in a LTR of 5 years, which became a LDR 2 years ago. My GF moved closer 1 year ago, and there is another year to go, till will likely move together. My problem is: recently her behaviour changed; she's always been weak in communication between our meetings (which are 2-3 weeks away from each other atm) and we could go weeks without calling. she's always been quite nerdy and shut-in and had a hard time making new friends.but now shes visiting professional school and hangs out with her new schoolmates till late in the night and drinks. when i try to text her, she ends the conversation after 3 or 4 exchanges and says something like "we'll talk when we meet :)". this behaviour is not only out of character, she's also not talking much about her daily life, even when asked.
so her behaviours out of character, i almost know nothing and communication between our meetings is really scarce.
i already talked to her, that i would like to hear more about her daily living and she assured me, that she takes our future together for granted and she loves me, but she still doesn t call or initiates texting often. it s increasingly hard for me to cope with the LDR while she s hanging out with strangers so much, without talking about it with me. what do /adv/?
LDR's always fail for this exact reason. When one person finds other people they enjoy who are physically there - and not just a face on a screen - they realize how much better it is, and lose interest in continuing the long distance thing. This is why it is almost always a mistake to try and force LDRs. They just don't work.
Your girlfriend's coming out of her shell and becoming more social and having a life outside of you, and it sounds like you haven't caught up.
>>17235178
this may be the case, as my circle in university is signifanctly smaller but it exists. but the difference is, that i've always tried to introduce my friends to her or invite her to activities with them. she doesn t do this and never did. but before it wasn t really a problem, as i shared my local circle with her and she really hadn t had one besides from her school friends.
>>17235176
also thought about this, but we are currently 400 miles away from her hometown. and she s determined to return to our mutual home region next year, so i doubt that she intends to settle with her new circle.
>>17235197
>she doesn t do this and never did.
How do you expect her to do that when you're in an LDR?
>>17235206
i hoped that it wouldn't be a problem, if she would just talk about them or that we would grow a bit closer as we both moved to this region and would make a fresh start (atm we re separated by 50-60 miles). the problem never arose, because we could spend significantly more time together. also the changed pattern of communication is my main problem; shouldn t she be interested in talking about her new circle as we re together for 5 years?
>>17235232
She probably wants to talk about other things with you when she gets a chance to talk, instead of talking about other people. She's allowed to have a life outside of you, and you should have a life outside of her too. You're going to destroy your relationship if you keep going like this, the more needy you get, the more you're going to push her away.
>>17235241
maybe you re right. so should i ditch the topic and try to make our weekends more exciting?
maybe it s a bit more complicated than that; even without her new circle her general relationship investment is lower than mine and she chose to spent half of this years vacation at home with her parents instead of me :/ that s eating on my confidence, but i don t want to show too much neediness by complaining. shouldn t i tell her that i simply expect too hear a bit more about her life in general, so that we don t grow estranged? problem is also that im working my ass off, to ensure that i get my degree ahead of time even if my grades suffer a bit, so that we've both finished our business here next summer and can move together, i really could need at least some more investment from her to stay motivated...
