1) What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
2) What are some tips regarding staying safe?
3) Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
4) How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
>>17214501
>What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
I'm a girl, I met 3 guys and a girl. Three of them lived 500/700 km away but still in my country, one of them lives in another country, 2000 km away from me. All in Europe.
> What are some tips regarding staying safe?
Before meeting - Know them long enough. Videocall on skype. Check their identity.
At the meeting - Meet in a public place. Tell someone where you're going and who you're going with.
>Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
Yes. I am not an untrusting person to begin with.
What they said made sense, they never lied to me. I had ways to check their identity (facebook, they gave me their address, etc). We had known each other for years. We talked on the phone/skype for long.
>How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
I trusted them even before meeting them. Two of them had my home address before we even met.
The 2nd time I met them I was sleeping at their place.
>>17214624
>they gave me their address
How do you know it was really them? Can be a creep's home
>The 2nd time I met them I was sleeping at their place
You slept at the guys' home while you havr only met them once before? Do you havr feelings for your male onlije friends?
>>17214639
>How do you know it was really them? Can be a creep's home.
A creep wouldn't really give me his home address. If they tried to hurt me, they could find them in literally 20 seconds with name, surname, home address and phone number. It'd be a silly move.
Also looking up the addresses online it was registered to someone with their family name (their parents). It was the address of a house. It was connected to the phone number they gave me.
Everything made sense.
>You slept at the guys' home while you have only met them once before?
Yes.I knew them for years online, and we spent some time together in person, so I trusted them.
>Do you have feelings for your male online friends?
One became my boyfriend, we have been together for 7 years and half now, so I definitely have feelings for him.
Other two are just friends, I met one of them 3 years ago and the other 1 year ago.
>>17214501
>Anyone here met someone they've met online irl?
What do you mean by that? Online friends or dating?
>1) What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
I'm a male, I live in California, USA.
I've met maybe two dozen women through online dating (all california)
I've also met a group of 6 people (two of them were couples) who I online gamed with a while, the they were from Washington, New York, and Nevada.
>2) What are some tips regarding staying safe?
Meet during the day a public location that intimate enough privacy for a conversation, but busy that someone else is always nearby enough that people can't make a scene.
>3) Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
Sure? The group of people I'd gamed with for like 2 years. I probably spent as much time with them as I did with my IRL friends.
>4) How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
The girls I dated, depends on which ones? Some I never trusted the second I met them (but that's not saying much considering I've met a few girls after talking to them for about an hour that same day)
The group of friends, I'd been speaking them for over two years and spent literally hundreds if not thousands of hours with by then. It took us about 10 or 15 minutes to realize, Oh hey, every one is exactly like they are in the game.
>>17214658
>It'd be a silly move
But that address may not be real
I dont have my online friend's address. I have video skyped with him, has his Whatsapp and saw his Facebook profile pic (all same guy). Is that really him?
Also, his full name appears in a school articoe about a competition in his district. Is that really him?
>One became my boyfriend
And he is the onr from the same country as you, right?
>>17214666
>Online friends or dating?
Both
>The group of friends, I'd been speaking them for over two years and spent literally hundreds if not thousands of hours with by then. It took us about 10 or 15 minutes to realize, Oh hey, every one is exactly like they are in the game
How can you know they did not spend those two years catfishing though?
>>17214501
I've met people of 4chan multiple times
1) What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
guy, guy, guy, guy, girl
2) What are some tips regarding staying safe?
Meet in a public place the first time.
3) Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
Gut feeling + they were from 4chan so I could be open about anything without getting glares.
4) How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
I rely soly on my gut feeling, which seldomly proves me wrong. But take in mind that not everyones gut feeling is equally good. It also depends on what type of personal stuff you tell em.
>>17214693
Forgot to say, one of them lives in my hometown, and we became very close friends
>>17214687
>But that address may not be real
They get the stuff I send them. So yeah, the address is definitely real.
Also - My friend, who told me he is called John Smith, gets a package sent to an address registered to Bill Smith (and John told me his dad is called Bill). Looking online, I find that the phone number I have is registered to that address. I also find out that all the informations he gave me before about the area he lives in area coherent with this address.
It'd take some serious effort to lie about this.
>Is that really him?
Most likely. I can't tell you 100% sure it's him, but I can't see "red flags".
He doesn't seem overly secretive and all the infos he gave to you are coherent, so he shouldn't be lying.
>And he is the one from the same country as you, right?
Yeah, we lived 500 km away. Now we have been living together for 6 years.
>>17214692
>How can you know they did not spend those two years catfishing though?
Because that's
1.) Paranoid
2.) That'd be overly elaborate for an online game...
3.) It's an online game, at that point it's just called role playing or whatever.
4.) Why the heck is someone going to drive 6+ hours/fly for 6+ hours/pay hundreds/thousands of dollars for a hotel room, to catfish someone else?
>>17214708
>ut I can't see "red flags
His FB is a bot dodgey though. Like his profipe pic is him but the only friend he has there is a girl from the Middle East whom he met online
Not to sound racist but we all know about these isis memes
Other than that? Zero red flags. He never tried to flirt with me, get me to do sexual stuff, pressured me into doing anything etc
I will visit his country this summer. If everything goes well, can I learn to fully trust him?
>>17214719
Ahhhh you're the same girl I talked to yesterday.
Yes, you're being paranoid. Stop worrying.
I already told you yesterday that he may have made a fb profile just to talk to this girl and he doesn't use it to talk to people.
You should trust him.
>>17214727
I understand. Well, you said I cant be 100% sure that it is really him. And one Reddit user told me that Ivebeen catfished and I should cut all contact with him
I asked him about his brother's Facebook yesterday. He still hasn't given me the link and he says that his brother's FB is pretty much inactive as well.
A month ago, he said that he is interested in bringing his brother along to our meeting. He still hasn't tell his brother about this though. Is this another red flag?
>>17214756
You can't be 100% sure of anything, he might be a pervert who spent years and years making up the most complicated and well done lie I've ever read about online, but it seems pretty unlikely.
Stop being paranoid. Not everyone everywhere wants to rape you.
>>17214811
Well things can still go REALLY wrong if bad things really happen. How come you are brave enough to go to that guy's house after meeting him irl once?
What are your thoughts on how he hasnt tell his brother about our meeting yet? My irl friend finds that odd.
>>17214821
You can walk out of your house and get raped by a random dude. Bad things happen everywhere, all the time.
This doesn't mean that you have to sit in your house with a gun in your hands.
>How come you are brave enough to go to that guy's house after meeting him irl once?
Because he wasn't a stranger. He was my friend that listened to my bullshit for two years, who got excited for my achievements and sad for my failures, he's the guy I talked to about my interests for hours. Even if we met in person just once, I still felt like I knew him for two years and I trusted him accordingly. He is the person behind the computer, and I trust the person I talked to.
It's not like everyone becomes evil just because they have a computer screen in front of their eyes.
>What are your thoughts on how he hasnt tell his brother about our meeting yet?
Depends on when's the meeting. I wouldn't tell him till a few days before, I don't plan things 6 months ahead with my friends IRL. It's odd if you're going to meet in 3 days, not so odd if you're going to meet in a month.
>>17214829
This is true. Once when I was leaving a place at night this guy suddenly appeared and asked me to show me my identifcation card.
>He was my friend that listened to my bullshit for two years, who got excited for my achievements and sad for my failures, he's the guy I talked to about my interests for hours. Even if we met in person just once, I still felt like I knew him for two years and I trusted him accordingly.
My online friend as well. Are relationship is exactly the same. I am still aware of stranger danger though.
Well we will meet in a month and we still haven't had our iteinary planned lol.
Just curious, would you date your current bf if he lives in another country? Will you move to that country to be with him?
>>17214835
You sound really paranoid about this whole meeting thing. Don't overthink every single detail. I think everything is going to work out well, he seems like a good guy, a bit private from what you told me, but definitely nothing weird.
There's of course some factor of danger, but meeting him with other people, in a crowded place, etc makes it safe.
>would you date your current bf if he lives in another country?
Yes, he lived abroad for a year and we stayed together. I visited him once every 3 weeks.
>Will you move to that country to be with him?
No, I have other things going on here and I can't really move right now. If I didn't, yes, I'd move.
>>17214841
>a bit private from what you told me
Private as in how? No Facebook?
>If I didn't, yes, I'd move
Thought long distance relationships are not possible as nobody will be crazy enough to do that, just saying.
>>17214658
>One became my boyfriend, we have been together for 7 years and half now, so I definitely have feelings for him.
Kind of unrelated, but I met this wonderful girl online and we have been together for 7 months now. She is supposed to come here in 1 month. I love her and she loves me, I know her family, they are always asking about me and stuff. How different do you think it is from online to offline? We're afraid that we won't love each other as much after getting together. She tells me she will go to the grave with me, but I feel a bit unsure about that, taking into consideration the distance we're apart. Can you give a little bit of advice or something? Thanks
>>17214844
>Private as in how? No Facebook?
Yeah.
>Thought long distance relationships are not possible as nobody will be crazy enough to do that, just saying.
He moved closer to me in 2008 and moved in with me in 2010. Didn't move to another country, but to the opposite side of my country.
I am still in university, but when I graduate I'd move with him anywhere in Europe. Flights are cheap and frequent and I could get home pretty much whenever I want. What matters to me is being with him - he's the love of my life, I'd do anything to be with him.
Yes I have.
1) I'm a guy, she is a girl.
2) Always have available cash if you are the one going to visit them; you might need money to get away from them.
3) Yes, I love her. I had met her about 9 months before. She is the niece of a good friend. Since initially making contact we talked almost daily and at some length each time. When finally meeting her every presumption about her came true and then I said I love her and she said so too.
4) It took one time but I think truly my case is an exception.
>tfw she blew me off yesterday
>Said shed message me when she was done so we could go meet
>Never did
Do I even say anything? I finally thought I had a chance but of course not.
1) What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
seattle,wa
2) What are some tips regarding staying safe?
carry a gun and/or be a tall strong man
3) Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
ive met people with 3 sentences of interaction
4) How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
i don't have to trust people to interact with them. real trust takes a very long time
i wonder how many people i've met online if you consider buying cars, random craigslist dealings, online dating, 4chan a few times
probably 20+ girls and 50+ guys with zero incident, i was probably the more intimidating one in 99% of these interactions
>>17214875
Btw how can I tell of my online is into me? Sometimes I suspect that, but I dont know what he thinks.
>asks me if I like his Whatsapp pic
>told me he received an email called Why dating a girl from my culture opens your eyes to a new culture
>asked him if he is into any girls at the moment and he said none
Went on dates with a couple of girls that I met online, but I don't really know if that counts since we were from the same city.
Also met some guy from Kuwait (I'm from Romania, also a guy) mostly by chance as he came here to visit someone else ( also someone he met online) and we went out for some drinks a couple of times.
>What are some tips regarding staying safe?
Shit I don't know, if that's an actual concern you might want to rethink meeting them in the first place. After you know someone long enough, online it won't seem a concern anymore.
>Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
Yeah, I've known him for years, talked/played video games with him quite often.
>How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
0
>>17214850
I can try, sure.
>How different do you think it is from online to offline?
It is surely different. I think that when you meet in person you start all over again. While we were dating LD we lived short "honeymoon" periods every time we met.
It might happen that the feelings aren't as strong when you're in person, especially if you're anxious or awkward. But when you relax, things will be okay. Don't panic.
Talk to her a lot in webcam and voice. REALLY a lot. Get used to her presence, to silence, to actually talking to each other instead of texting. Surely in person it is different, but still - it will help and will make things less awkward.
>Can you give a little bit of advice or something?
Have realistic expectations. Don't idealize the partner - when you talk to someone online you tend to "fill the gaps" making people better than they really are. Try to be realistic and don't get insanely worked up about the other person. Accept that the "perfect partner" doesn't exist. She will have flaws, you will have flaws, those flaws will be incredibly annoying but, if you love each other, it'll work out. Learn to be accepting.
If you think, put a shitton of effort into it. Be with them as much as you can, save every cent to be with her, invest your time and energy into your relationship. Work to close the distance. Have a plan that allows you to stay together. Plan the meetings.
Don't be with her because it's better than being alone. Be with her only if she's worth the effort. While some of the "better than being alone" relationships work IRL, they never work LD.
Be honest and upfront, don't expect the other person to be a mindreader.
Have a routine. Set "night dates" and spend the evening together. She shouldn't be a filler, but an important part of your day.
Hope it helps somehow. I wish I realized some of these things earlier.
>>17214923
It's a bit insignificant. Wait to meet in person and see what happens.
>>17214933
IT WILL BE SIGNIFICANT
>>17214923
>asked him if he is into any girls at the moment and he said none
if a girl asked me this i wouldnt interpret this as her asking me if i was interested in her. you could try being just a little less subtle.
Why are people so paranoid? I've met a bunch of guys irl i met online. They're just people too. What's the worst thing that can happen? That you end up chained up in a basement as a sexslave that later gets brutaly murdered? Meh, the chances this is going to happen are VERY slim. And if it happens, i'm dealing with it as i go.
>>17214928
Thanks a lot m8terino. You gave me some ideas, I'll discuss this with her soon. We rarely skype, mostly because she has her parents home and she gets embarrassed. I've tried to make her skype more, but she just doesn't want to I think. It's probably my paranoia, but I really don't know. I've tried to ask her politely, even force her to skype me, and there's always an excuse. Feels really bad, because other than that, she's really good.
>>17214943
Turn the webcam on and just text, if she doesn't want to talk in front of her parents. Talk a lot on the phone if you can, maybe ask her to go out for a walk and talk to you for 30 minutes a day on the phone.
It's not necessary to do anything extraordinary, but really texting is the worst form of communication and if you get used to it, it might be hard to be relaxed in person.
Maybe she's a bit shy but if she's flying there to be with you, you two can't just sit there and text, right?
>>17214933
And what signs will indicate if he has feelings for me? Just something I am very curious about
>>17214937
A long time ago, he said "I think you'll be an amazing girlfriend... I MEAN... Hem, it's not that I think of you as my girlfriend but that was what I actually think of my "perfect girl" based on my hobbies at the moment. I'm sure perfect girls can be different and my image of what a perfect girl is like will probably change over time."
He was talking about what his perfect girlfriend was like (listing how she should share his hobbies) and I said I don't fit in the category then as I didn't like some of his hobbies.
>>17214875
>when I graduate I'd move with him anywhere in Europe.
would you move to his country if he was, say, american or australian?
>>17214961
It would be much harder because I'm an only child and my parents are getting old and I want to be relatively nearby. It'd break my heart to be 24 hours of flight away from them. So no, probably not, I wouldn't move to Australia.
>>17214965
What about the states or Canada?
>>17214959
you sound like a 16yo girl. youre massively overthinking things, he probably doesn't remember these minute details even if he is in to you.
>>17214954
Thank you a lot. I showed her this and we'll speak about it in the evening (she has an exam soon). She wants to know, how was the first meeting? Were you lovers by then or just friends? What did you do?
btw, she'll probably come here with her parents, will that make a lot of difference? I don't mind speaking with her parents, although they don't speak English, I can say a few things in Russian.
>>17214967
Back then we were younger
>he probably doesn't remember these minute details even if he is in to you
Well I just found it odd for a guy to say that
>>17214973
i wouldnt say anything like that to a girl unless i was interested in her being mine. hes probably just very inexperienced.
>>17214986
Yeah I won't have done that too.
Oh, so you think he wasn't interested
>>17214968
>how was the first meeting? Were you lovers by then or just friends? What did you do?
I was crazy for him since the first time we talked, which was 5 months before we met in person. We weren't a couple, but we surely weren't "just friends".
He arrived at the train station, I started crying the second I saw him, and then we hugged and kissed. We spent all night talking, kissing and laughing. He arrived at 10 PM, and we talked till 7 AM. It was great. Then we spent the rest of the week going out, making out and talking a lot. I introduced him to my family, and we just.. enjoyed ourselves.
Mind that I was 15 and he was 17 at the time.
>will that make a lot of difference?
As long as you have some privacy, not too much.
Good luck for the exam!
>>17214994
So cute :3 my girl is basically the same, I knew she liked me the first day we met (we found each other on a language exchange website, I clicked on her profile because she had a photo in a park I went to in Barcelona and then she messaged me). We spoke a bit then I started to see we had so much in common, so I got more and more interested in her, she then told me she loved me and by then, I loved her too.
That's a really nice experience, I hope I'll have the same. There's still a lot for us to plan, she doesn't want to pressure her parents still, but they know she wants to come here and they speak about coming here from time to time. One of the problems I'm seeing is the bedrooms. We've thought about staying in one city (in a hotel) and after a couple of days, go to my city and I could host them in our home. But the thing is, how will she tell her father, which is a sorta conservative person, she wants to have a bedroom just for me and her? It's really fucked, I really don't know what I'd say either. I'm 18, she's 21, but still, it's a bit rude to ask for a thing like that, so I really don't know. I just know I want to sleep (and +) with her on the same bedroom all the nights she's here.
>>17214990
i think if a guy bothers to interact with you for that long and you guys are both about the same attractiveness he will probably be interested in you
>>17215008
I've known him for more than 2 years now. We met when he was 16 and I was 17
We are about the same level of attractiveness (ie average neither hot nor ugly)
I thought it was just kindness which made him kept in touch. I certainly did
>>17215006
My parents didn't let me sleep with him (but we were much younger, again). We slept in the same bed for the first time when I was 17 because we started travelling together.
Just let her ask him, and accept it if he's not fine with it. If you keep dating and she visits some other time you can still spend the night with her.
I understand what you want, but you have to understand her father and, at the end, respect him.
I've met plenty of people from the internet in person, majority of them male, I'm female. Tell someone where you're going, who you're with, and when to expect you back the first few times you meet. Some of these people I've met are now trusted friends, and some of these people I wouldn't talk to again unless you paid me big money. There's no solid number of times to meet before you can trust the other person, you have to rely on instinct a little.
>>17215035
I understand. Honestly, I just want to cuddle with her, the rest is more of a bonus (probably only saying this cuz I haven't experienced it). And I see your point, but again, we live really, really far from each other (like 6000 km), and as you can imagine, seeing each other isn't such an easy task (the flight only goes for about 300 euros, with the trip to the airport, visas and shit, just to be here will be at around 500 euros), so I don't want to waste any time together because of "formalities". We'll discuss this again tonight, thanks.
>>17214719
He only has one Facebook friend? What's the point? Get out of there as fast as you can
>>17215057
So do not meet him at all?
internet relationshits not even once
no I have no experience with them but from 4chan-based ones I've seen online one ended with the guy in jail, one ended with the girl cheating with a guy at a bar, one ended with the girl cheating with a guy at a public park, several ended with the same girl pretending to be someone else and cucking 3-4 guys at the same time
or maybe people from /r9k/ are just generally crazy
>>17214501
Any particular reason you chose a swan as the OP picture? I'm just curious because this triggers some sync for me.
1/2
>What are the genders of you two and where do you guys lives?
When I was 14 I met my then online boyfriend with my parents' blessing twice. We lived about an hour and a half away from each other. I'm in my 20s now and I've met my current boyfriend twice as well. The latter lives in England, while I live in NY.
>What are some tips regarding staying safe?
Skype/voice chat before you ever discuss meeting. Get to know them first. Meet in a public place, let others know you're going to meet and where. Even bring someone with you if you're cool with it. Have someone call you during the time you're with the person at a predefined time. If you don't pick up, or if you say a prearranged word in conversation to them (eg. donuts or something similarly innocuous) they call the police. Don't go anywhere private with them if something seems sketchy, and possibly don't go anywhere private with them regardless.
>Did you eventually trust your online friend? How did you learn to do so?
>How many times do you have to meet irl to trust the other person?
Zero. I trusted them before I met them. Or at least I did with the latter boyfriend. The former, I trusted them not to kill me or do anything questionable, but I didn't trust him very much besides that since I had trust issues back then and he had broken up with me for my friend at one point and done other questionable things. But hey, we were dumb kids. Shit happens. If you don't trust them to not hurt you or do something you wouldn't be okay with, don't ever meet them. Either you are very paranoid or they have given you very good reason to distrust them and that is something you should heed. They're just people, at the end of the day regardless of whether they're from 4chan, Facebook, or your job, most people aren't going to rape, murder, or kidnap someone. If you have a genuine fear of someone you're talking to doing something like that were you to meet them, you shouldn't be arranging to meet them.
>>17215660
2/2
The first boyfriend, my father spoke to his mother on the phone before we met. They arranged it. Then his father and mine drove us to a restaurant, got us separate tables from them. We ate, then went to his house where I met the mother and hung out. The second time I visited him my father dropped me off at an ice skating rink where he worked, and we went ice skating. Then my father picked me up.
The second boyfriend I'd known for seven years so there wasn't much precautions taken. We'd voice chatted before, skyped. Hell when he finally managed to get his passport he'd shown me the page with his information. There was never any doubt or insecurities as to who he was or anything. And being older he and I played by our own rules, not our parents. Our parents knew about one another, and he booked a flight to visit me, came here for two weeks. And we stayed at a hotel together the entire time, from day one of meeting him until the day he left. I had told him I couldn't guarantee I'd stay the first night, and that it would depend on how I felt, but by the end of the first day I was comfortable enough to do so. Then I got a passport later on down the line and went there for 10 days. Stayed at a hotel with him for most of those, then the last day I stayed at his house to spend time with his family. I also met his real life friends, who are good friends of mine.
I've also been to a meetup on 4chan once when I was 19 or so, it was a /vp/ meetup and we met at the Nintendo World Store. Spent a couple hours hanging out with eight other people. It was pretty fun, if a little awkward.
>genders/location
I was a male, 22 years old, and she was a female mid 30's. She was in New Mexico, and I was several states over
>staying safe
I'd known her for years, and we never expressed too much interest in meeting, we were just friends and I happened to take a trip that was going to be going through her town. Cheaper than a hotel.
>trust
She was keeping me in her house, letting me eat her food, and play video games with her son. So, I guess the fact she'd known me since I was a teenager helped with her trusting me, but I had no reason to not trust her and could leave if I wanted at any point.
>IRL trust
Pretty mutual, I stayed there for a few weeks before finishing my trip, and at the end of it all I just left in the middle of the night after my package came in that I needed to get mailed to me from the road.
