i'm currently in my first serious relationship. my gf and i have been together for nearly 1.5 years. i didn't have much experience with relationships prior to this one and limited experience with women in a romantic sense.
she is taking summer classes to catch up on her academics. i'm awaiting my program to start in the coming fall. i've been interning at a local hospital for the past couple of months and may be securing employment with them shortly. prior to the internship i had a lot of time on my hands and spent a great deal of it with her. this is the first period of our relationship where she and i are on rigid schedules and don't have time to see each other as often as we would like.
in the past week since she started classes she has started doing something strange: she texts me about her male classmates. here are a few examples:
>wow, my lab table is three beefy bro dudes. send help
>oh, i met a really interesting guy in class today
>jake seems like a nice guy
>that guy from chem asked me to go to the library with him tomorrow to study and i'm going since i don't understand anything
she has done these sorts of things before but it was usually with some disdain (like mentioning a guy flirted with her and she just wanted to get away from him or how these guys were trying to talk to her and her not being eager to chat, some guy trying to get her attention while at a stop light, etc).
i feel like the tone changed with these guys. she's complimenting them and opting to spend time with them. what really got me was her comment about the one guy from class being "interesting."
i feel like she's just casually dropping these interactions with guys in her class as a means to get a reaction out of me? i never ask her about her classmates, just about how class is going. she has been doing this repeatedly now and it's striking me as odd.
>>17206084
>what really got me was her comment about the one guy from class being "interesting."
What was the rest of the conversation about this guy?
>>17206084
So she's an attention whoring cunt. Shocking. This is what's going to happen: she's going to keep hanging out with these guys and telling you about it because if I, who have never met you, know that you're too much of a lonely loser bets bitch to sack up and drop her, she damn sure figured it out a long time ago. So she'll keep flirting with them, and she'll keep playing innocent with you. Maybe she'll fuck one, maybe she won't. If she doesn't, you can bet she's at least considered it; if she does, so what? You won't leave her. A few crocodile tears and empty promises is the most it will take to keep you under her thumb.
>>17206094
i don't acknowledge her comments about these guys so i don't ask any follow up questions. i think she mentioned it had something to do with his upbringing or that he's an immigrant. something along those lines.
she texted me earlier today about how she and her classmate were going to be studying tomorrow. i didn't say a thing about it. i don't understand what she expects me to say or if she's just choosing to be transparent/honest?
"oh cool. i'm really enjoying the idea of you and some dude studying together. thanks babe."
it's a lose-lose situation. either i react in a negative way and i come out looking shit or i promote the behavior when it's clearly not something i would want her to do.
>>17206126
Well the way I see it, it's better that she's telling you about these guys than not telling you. I mean, I tell my boyfriend about my male friends so he's kept in the loop, rather than randomly hearing about them months down the track and thinking the worst of it
>>17206135
>male friends
Why are all women these days such fucking sluts?
>>17206117
i'm attached and committed but not enough to stay through something like infidelity. she knows this.
it's not so much that i'm a lonely loser, i just have high standards. i could fuck around pretty easy if that was the goal. i get a lot of attention at my internship for example. would be pretty easy to pursue some of these girls.
i would say "she's not the type to cheat" but i don't presume to know that for certain.
>>17206135
i appreciate the transparency but the frequency over the past week strikes me as odd. i really just don't understand what she wants me to say. she's not dumb, she understands how pretty much anyone would react to their SO spending time alone with someone else regardless of how much trust there is.
>>17206164
I got you OP. 10 year relationship going right now. This problem was year 3 for me.
This is some stupid shit women do to test you. You are kind of passing. You definitely haven't failed yet.
The fail would be as you said. Get jealous or try to control her. Do not do this. You will become lesser in her eyes. Even if you do nothing that's kind d of bad.
You should take this as an okay to talk about women you think are attractive in your life. Do not do it maliciously. Just let her know what good points you see in other women. Maybe become friends with one of them. This will activate her competitiveness that all women have with all other women and she will forget about those guys and focus on you.
This is also the point in the relationship when women get bored and just try and start shit. They don't even realize it they do it.
Installing some dread that you could leave her will keep her in line. BUT DON'T DO IT MALICIOUSLY. that's key. Good luck.
Don't listen to these pussy fucks in here. You sit her down and telll her to cut the crao. Stop worrying about what she's trying to accomplish, just go off what you see. Your gf getting close and flirtsy with random dudes.
That shit doesn't fly, it she wants to do that she can be single while doing it. Let the threat be known and stick by it.
>i have high standards
Then don't excuse her and her slutty behaviour.
>>17206263
The problem with this is you are becoming the jealous boyfriend.
In a woman's head the only reason you would get jealous over something like this is because you are threatened by it. Which somehow means in their head that they are to good for you.
My gf used to always "complain" that I didn't get jealous over her. Which mean she was doing stuff like that, on at least a subconscious level, to test me. Yet she would brag about it to her friends. My "bf" never gets like that.
Women do not think or act like you or me. This is one of those huge test portions for your relationship. Don't fuck it up by going nuclear or acting petty. You pass this and that will be one more step to making her want to do whatever it takes to please you.
Dude. DUDE.
Save here while you still can. Confront this chick face to face about this before this Jake guy just leaves the nuts hanging out.
This shit happens all the time where I live. THIS IS STAGE 1!!!! Fucking talk to her now, but try not to be too pushy or she will get pissy because she'll know what you're trying to say. Just ask about them and if she is a bit wierd about it like, "Oh jake is just a friend, he's really smart and helps a lot" tell her that you're not comfortable with her talking about some random dude like that that she just met. Take her on a nice date maybe before you ask her?
>>17206495
Except that boundaries and standards aren't jealousy. She construes it as that because you failed to outline them in the beginning. Now that you try and place boundaries it will be twisted like that.
My point still stands.
>>17206531
Your problem is your trying to use man logic on this. You don't understand that women use female feels for all their decision making.
In her mind she isn't the one flirting. Shes just noticing and getting help. She's a totally innocent bystander in her mind.
She really isn't totally innocent but if you get all jealous about it, you will be called out on your jealousy. And things will get worse in your relationship.
It sounds like OP has been doing everything right up till this point. If that's the case he doesn't have to worry about her cheating. She may deal with their flirting and maybe seek it out/enjoy it but when it comes down to it she will reject these dudes because. But if you act all jealous about it shit will go down hill.
This is my last post about this. OP hasn't responded in a while and you are obviously an unteachable amateur. So good luck with that. Makes it easier for the real men.
>>17206729
