I'm gonna feel like a piece of shit for writing this, but it's getting really bad.
My friend is on the shorter side for a male standards, and he's a very husky guy. Probably like 60-70lbs overweight. Like any normal human being, he finds attractive women, well, attractive. He is too shy to ever talk to most of them, and hates on his appearance constantly. I've told him I'd help him lose the weight if he wants help, but he has no desire to lose the weight. He wouldn't be that bad looking of a guy if he was slimmer.
He'll send me screencaps of his text messages with female friends, and he will try to be subtle about liking them, but never does anything more.
>So weird thing to just ask out of nowhere but, you said you didn't have a boyfriend right?
>Not currently but I don't know what's going to happen in the next couple weeks
>Ohh? Someone catch your fancy?
>We'll see
And he ask me about it, what it means, if he has a shot, etc.
The thing is he will shit on himself for being overweight and ugly (His words). but he makes NO attempts to ever better himself. I wanna help him, but don't know how? Also, whenever he asks me about whether or not he has a shot with a girl, I always tell him that you never know until you try, even though I would be surprised if any of the women he's interested in would return the feeling. What do I do? I love the guy, but how do you break something like that to him?
>>17186949
I'm also not the only one who sees this. Everyone else, and yes I mean everyone else in our friend group has said the same thing and half of us has tried to help him with it.
>>17186949
I had a friend like this, and he still to this day refuses to admit that the problem is him and that they're changeable. he instead blamed everything on everyone else.
sometimes the best friends you have are the ones that agree differently and tell you so. it's not really helping him if you say things like 'oh it's okay man, she's just clueless/a bitch/blahblahblah', that just perpetuates the behavior and let's him think it's okay to keep acting that way.
then again most times people ask for advice like this they just want to be told things to make themselves feel better for the moment
anyways, i ended up telling another friend that he needed to quit fucking around and change himself, and surprisingly he did. sometimes people have no motivation until someone lights a fire under their ass
>>17186949
>he has no desire to lose the weight.
As a fellow shy and ugly but skinny guy, i don't understand this. I'm on the hard road to gaining decent muscle despite low testosterone, and some guys can't even put in the effort to stop eating so much? IMHO laziness is one of the worst flaws, worse than ugliness and anxiety. It's a killer.
Gotta get him to work out and eat well if you can. Share motivational shit, check /fit/. Encourage him to come run with you in the morning or whatever you do. Inviting people to /fit/ stuff like hiking can really show them how far behind they are and how much work they have to do to keep up with you.
And if you can, explain to him very clearly that most girls won't date a fat guy. That the standards for guys are different: there's no fucking "fat acceptance", no "curvy", no "full-figured", just "fat-ass."
Ask him what he thinks about fat girls, and call him out on the hypocrisy.
>>17187212
>Encourage him to come run with you in the morning or whatever you do.
I've asked him to go hiking with me, but he doesn't want to. He's not an athletic guy, or into most things that require it.
>Ask him what he thinks about fat girls, and call him out on the hypocrisy.
He'll mention about how some girls are fat or ugly, and I can't help but think he's projecting, because I mean, how can you judge someone for being overweight, when you yourself are extremely unhealthy?
>>17186949
Have you tried telling him it's not actually the weight, it's the aura of laziness, lack of self-respect and self-discipline that his weight gives out? Stop telling him "you never know until you try", you can try telling him "you'd improve your chances if you worked out and fixed your diet". If you love him, you have to be honest with him, if he manages to get his shit together, he will thank you and respect you for your honesty. You don't have to be brutal or overly harsh, but be honest, don't sugarcoat things.
