It's the summer of 2013. After the raging success of Battle of the Gods, Toriyama has hired you to assist him in writing Dragon Ball Super (because he's getting senile). He shows you his ideas and rough outline. How would you improve it, other than improving the animation quality of course?DBZ improvements are welcome too
>Resurrection F
>Scene where Goku gets hit with laser gun
>He's badly wrecked, but he can still fight. Just needs a senzu bean
>Krillin is about to toss Goku his final bean
>Freeza swoops in and snatches it
>Aw shit
>Freeza is at full power again and starts wailing on Goku
>Eventually stops and gets Vegeta's attention
>Offers to make Vegeta his supreme commander if he finishes Goku off
>Vegeta cracks an evil smile and starts charging his galick gun or whatever
>Goku just looks at him and then closes his eyes, ready to accept death's embrace
>Suddenly, Vegeta turns toward Freeza and his hair changes color
>Gives some longwinded speech about muh saiyan pride
>Fires the blast and wails on Freeza for a few minutes before finally finishing him off
>Movie ends. No time travel bullshit involved
This is what should've happened.
Everyone in the tournament gets wrecked except for Buu. He proceeds to beat them all due to his lack of organs, childish behavior, and candy lasers.
Piccolo and Buu get more screentime in general.
>>140423126
>Grand Kai training
>DBGT being another universe
>Gohan adventures
Rewrite Beerus to be even more serious about his job and more morally gray. It needs to be believable that he wouldn't have helped against Buu even if the whole universe was going to die.
Also, make him even stronger and give him crazy destruction powers like being able to destroy space to teleport. If he's going to be a follow up to Cell and Buu he needs to be overpowered and not just a "he's so strong he beats everyone in one hit and can't get hurt" Broly kind of guy.
Get rid of the God ritual and instead have Vegetto fight Beerus. Holding hands for power is stupid and the Saiyan backstory it gave was even stupider. Have Vegetto figure out turning into a god just by being that good. He still loses due to inexperience, and Beerus concedes a "tie" and promises to be back for a rematch. Then Vegetto uses Buu to defuse and neither Goku nor Vegeta can quite remember how the god form worked, which leads into them training with Whis.
Bringing back Freeza is stupid and doesn't make sense, so just leave that par out entirely.
here are my problems with dragon ball super (and dbz after cell saga):
>piccolo gets too much plot time or too little development
it's ok for characters to get unimportant - heck, look at android 18 or gotenks and so on, but piccolo somehow always gets dragged into the main plot while getting no own plot development at all ... at least give him some new power or transformation or some new reason to fight, like a love interest ... something! or just let him be
>vegeta is a "I'm always second place" meme
this is borderline stupid by now, vegeta should get a chance to shine. goku is always joking around like shit and for once vegeta should be stronger than him for some time - so that goku gets super serious and trains his ass off. would have been awesome if freezer kicked gokus ass so that vegeta shows who's boss ... goku would go train hard and you'd truly be curious for the universe vs. universe tournament - since it's up in the air who's the stronger one (even if it's goku again)
>this super saiyan blue god whatever shit has gone too far
yes, we all love more transformations - but by now it's a big clusterfuck of forms. they should have simply made a completely different transformation line, that's an alternative to the super saiyan transformation ... not something half-new/half-old.
(re-introducing kaioken certainly didn't help)
>where are some new characters??
the last addition to the "z fighters" was ... gotenks??
(boo doesn't count, because he's not fighting at all)
there really should be some new character that joins them - doesn't even need to be a saiyan. just someone that's going to be a regular and possibly on vegeta/goku power level. just to keep things interesting
>ssj3 was a stupid idea, but just pretending it never happened is even more stupid
vegeta should have turned ssj3 when he lost his shit after beerus slapped bulma. some observer even stated that he became more powerful than goku briefly
>db should have ended after cell
nuff said
>>140424002
>It needs to be believable that he wouldn't have helped against Buu even if the whole universe was going to die.
Beerus was sleeping at the time and Whis knew that Goku could handle it. That's beleiveable enough for me. He didn't even seem to know who Buu was when they were fighting over the pudding.
>>140424456
Beerus is able to wake up in the middle of his naps, that's how he was awake during Battle of Gods. Remember that Old Kaioshin gave up his life for Goku, and said that he was their only hope to stop the destruction of the universe.
I think Beerus should be the kind of person who the Kaioshin wouldn't even consider asking for help. Like, they thought if they went to wake him up he'd be more likely to help Buu than Goku. As a God of Destruction I think Beerus in Super is a little too ambivalent about destruction.
>>140423126
>Battle of the Gods
>the
Why?
>>140424456
Beerus not knowing Buu doesn't make any sense either. He should at least recognize him as "that guy who ate Dai Kaioshin".
>Skip Revival of F
Honestly, everything about this was bullshit. Bigger bullshit than Garlic Jr being even remotely powerful enough to not get BTFO by post-Namek Gohan. Yeah, yeah, immortality. Speaking of immortality, whatever happened to Freeza wanting that?
>Go with a tournament arc anyway
>it's a full on tournament
>make some sort of asspull (Toriyama loves those) that requires Goku to train his friends
>they actually start to matter a little again
>tournament arc ends
>Goku and Vegeta keep on training in other worlds/universes
>rest of the fighters are 'hired' by Jaco to help police the galaxy
>Goku and Vegeta vs. overpowered asspullers like Hit
>rest vs fighters of Freeza/Android 17/Perfect Cell level
>use Toriyama's senile mind for the hijinx and funnies
>limited runs of episodes so animation studios don't hire Taiwanese ladyboys with no hands to do the animation
Tell Toriyama everybody is tired of his rectangle square triangle line drawings.
Tell him to go back to his roots during the first dragonball, draw more round and dynamic.
Because 1, the round style is not easy for deviant art autists to draw and make shitty fanmade anime.
2. it is easier for actual animators to animate and do interesting animation with it.
3. fuck
Mostly shit with side characters for me
>Gohan's "I need to become strong again because I have a family living on this planet and my dad won't always be there" would have happened sooner, had a bit more of an impact, and lasted longer than 2 episodes before "lol I have a conference"
Side characters wouldn't be as completely unimportant. Maybe they have a couple of episodes where we see the human martial artists have to do something, just something to remind us that they're all terrifyingly powerful and just kind of overshadowed
Frieza coming back and training is okay but I would have liked a few changes. Specifically everyone treating him like a joke when he first shows up instead of being terrified by him (Gohan: "Oh hey Frieza, now I don't want to hurt you too bad but if you don't leave the planet I'm going to have to") before getting their shit pushed in like they did. Also when they beat Frieza it's somewhat soundly, not a "Man if he only trained for FIVE months instead of four we'd all be dead". Also Piccolo won't get beaten up by someone who's power level is roughly on par with Zarbon. What in the actual fuck was going on there. Also also I'd actually remember that a hole in the torso isn't actually that fatal to Piccolo.
Besides that idk, maybe touch on Whis's serious side a bit more, maybe hint that he's training them for a very real reason like some kind of looming threat. Maybe have Vegita fight a bit more pragmatically to show off his Vegita-ness, have Goku remember he can use instant transmission in combat or that he (and everyone else) knows Solar flare, have people actually learn new techniques; even from other allied characters, tone down ChiChi's insanity a little bit, completely remove Jaco, there's a bunch of little things
Change the Resurrection 'F' arc. Run with Goku's line from the OVA instead. He mentions that in hindsight Freeza wasn't much of a threat and would be a perfect challenge for the kids.
So have Freeza fight Goten and Trunks instead. Goku and Vegeta were off planet anyway and Gohan had been nerfed into the ground already, so Freeza could've had a power up enough to make him a threat, while not making it such a huge leap in power that even die-hard fans call bullshit on it.
Wouldn't even have had to give him that gaudy transformation either, could've just had him maintain 100% full power without the rapid decline due to inexperience.
>>140423126
Make Vegeta do the fucking ritual. And then show Goku and Vegeta unlocking Blue during Whis' training.
Show more of Freeza's training, maybe give some more justification for his huge gains so the assblasted powerlevel fags contain their salt a little better.
Have Goku and Vegeta show up at the same time as Freeza. Have them bro-down and team up to fight Freeza (still barely winning), while everyone - and I mean everyone:
>Krillin
>Gohan
>Piccolo
>Jaco
>Tenshinhan
>Yamcha
>Chaozu
>Yajirobe
>17
>18
>Buu
>Gotenks
>Chichi
>Videl
>Gyumao
>Roshi
>Tsuru Sennin
>Tao Pai Pai (say he was off planet some how for some reason when Buu blew up Earth, I don't care)
>Karin
>Popo
all fighting Freeza's goons around the planet
Make the 'F' song have better timing, so it's more badass.
U6 tourney is fine.
Time skip eventually so we can fix GT (make Pan less of a cunt, make space adventures more fun/cool, don't drag the Great Ape Baby fight on as long (skip Super 17 and Evil Dragons for now)
And THEN move into telling the events of DBO, where Goku and Vegeta die in a final battle, Gohan publishes books on ki control, and Goten and Trunks open up a ki control swordsman school.
Then have the Dragon Balls start fucking up reality because too much negative energy. Super 17 arc happens because of this. Then the Evil Dragons arc. In DBO, everyone had a final battle together against the remains of Freeza's army, but RoF already did that. So have it be a huge final battle against all the villains of the past + Evil Dragons. No Goku or Vegeta around to save the day.
Then, finally, end with Krillin and Tenshinhan opening up the New Turtle and Crane schools.
>>140425835
oh, and Lunch needs to be in those huge battles too
>>140425969
and Bora, #8, Nam, Giran, Bacterian, etc.
>>140423126
Destroy or get rid of Namek or somehow nerf the 2 sets of dragonballs.
Get rid of this shiny art style. It looks like shit.
Just keep Freiza gone. RoF was pointless, aside from SSB.
Do something to make the supporting cast useful. Goku and Vegeta just aren't enough to carry the entire show. Especially the Goku we get in Super.
Give SSJ3 and maybe Gotenks a better sendoff.
Don't carryover Pilaf crew from BotG if nothing is going to be done with them.
U6 tourney is alright, having yet another Freiza just seems pointless after RoF.
>>140426005
King Choppa, Shu, those two guys from Oorin temple, farmer with shotgun, Goku's neighbors, Colonel Silver, Draculaman, Cargot, Bulma's mom and South Kaio should all get to help out too
>>140426494
>Get rid of this shiny art style. It looks like shit.
Yes please.I would like to see the old style come back
Things that I would have changed before the Champa arc:
>Battle of Gods happens more or less as it does in the film or in Super.
>Between BoG and Resurrection F we're treated to a short arc that shows Goku and Vegeta training with Whis as the A plot and rest of the gang going about their lives or training as the B plot.
>Vegeta, through his determination to not be outdone, manages to obtain SSJB before Goku.
>Goku seems completely ecstatic about this but is mostly at a loss, this being the first time he's been so completely outdone by Vegeta since they first fought. Shortly thereafter Goku manages to obtain the transformation as well, but it still speaks to Goku's immaturity that it took him longer to master his God Ki, even after having used that God Ki before Vegeta.
>Resurrection of F happens. To shoo the clowns, Tagoma and Sorbet kill the Pilaf gang after summoning the Dragon and take the radar.
>They wish for Freeza to be resurrected. Freeza is brought back to life and manages to force himself together long enough to wish for eternal life as well.
>Immortal Freeza heals and does his training like in RoF and Super
>When everyone fights him on Earth, he tortures them with battle through all of his original forms, with Goku and Vegeta arriving when he's hit his final form.
>The fight mostly progresses as in RoF and Super
>Beerus and Whis realize that Freeza is immortal, and with only eight months of training he's exceeded Goku and Vegeta. Fearing that Freeza may be able to overpower them with more time, they devise a plan to move him to another dimension.
>Beerus, Goku and Vegeta completely overpower Freeza and trap him in one of the trans-universe box ships and ship him into a neighboring universe.
>>140428307
Vegeta fag GTFO
Can't they just incapacitate him, wish on the Namekian balls to revoke his immortality, then vaporize him?
>>140428307
How things progress after the Champa arc:
>The Gods of Destruction from the 10 remaining universes take notice of the multiverse spanning shenanigans of Beerus and Champa
>During the tournament they convene on what they should do about Universes 6 and 7. Beerus and Champa can't be trusted, as they're using their universes to create and train fighters whose strength rivals their own.
>It is revealed that Beerus and Champa are potentially the weakest and least involved Gods of Destruction, napping for hundreds and almost thousands of years at a time out of laziness instead of actively intervening in their universes.
>During their tenures as Gods of Destruction, the rest of them have effectively created a multiversal monarchy where they are recognized as the prevailing force in all of creation. With Beerus and Champa able to foster fighters that rival their own strength, they begin to fear for what could potentially happen if they were to create enough fighters to overthrow them.
>They reach a decision: Either subdue Beerus and Champa and strip them of their God of Destruction titles and take away the Super Dragon Balls as well as the Earth and Namekian Dragon Balls, or destroy Universes 6 and 7.
>Meanwhile, Freeza lingers in the depths of one of the Universes, slowly healing, preparing for the day where he might destroy all of Universe 7.
>>140428437
Eh. I mean, it's mostly to benefit Goku's character development. Has he ever been in a situation where he trained alongside someone and they became stronger than him? I mean, you've got Gohan getting his unlock from Old Kai, Goku meeting Beerus, but has he ever just seen someone progress alongside himself at a faster rate? He's like 40, right? You'd think that would have happened at least once.
It's not to rub it in his face or anything, just give him a moment where he's humbled by someone else's hard work.
>>140424382
>Love interest
Namekians don't have a concept of romance. They're a mono-gender species that reproduce asexually.
>>140423126
DB should have ended after buu saga.
>>140430423
actually it's ended after buu saga.
>>140430423
It did, and it still does. DBS changes nothing of the existing timeline.
>>140429995
Maybe not romance, but I think they have a profound understanding of love. Look at Piccolo; He's a Namekian's evil side, yet even he is filled with love and kindness.
>>140431154
Not that kind of love, though. He probably doesn't fully comprehend the concept of girlfriends or whatever. He lacks the hormones for it.
pretty much this
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9299093/1/Dragon-Ball-Z-The-Catalyst
>>140431265
Yeah, I agree on that much.
>>140431743
>Words: 261,262
>>140431743
>>140432106
That's literally ten times as many words as master's thesis. He must really love Dragon Ball to dedicate so many words to a fanfiction.
>>140432106
>>140432623
Saddest part is /mlp/ has produced more words than this in one fanfiction.
>>140432623
Writing fanwank is imaginative abstraction far beneath the intellectual level of a hard science paper. You can pad it all you want with bullshit symbolic stretches, but that's not impressive in the slightest.
It might take a while to write more text than a master's thesis, but the knowledge required to write said thesis takes far, far more time.
I know you're not defending it or anything, I'm just saying that it's not impressive at all. I go on autistic rants that are nearly as long on a daily basis.
Just give us a permanent white hair form like KK10xBlue
Have Yamcha join the galactic patrol. He's not doing anything else with his life and it's a good use of the powers he DOES have.
>>140428307
>kill the Pilaf gang
Toriyama would probably fire you.
>>140425014
only the destruction of Earth
>>140428307
>Tagoma and Sorbet kill the Pilaf gang after summoning the Dragon and take the radar
I would just made Tagoma and Sorbet steal the Dragon Ball radar and finding them by themselves, the rest is fineMai is too cute to be killed
>>140431743
This is actually pretty well written. Having the villains be time travelers trying to alter the timeline in various places to ensure the z fighters lose but fail because of characters like raditz or turles is something I haven't seen before. Best Raditz story I've ever read.
>>140429120
gohan went from nothing to stronger than goku during the year they spent in the time chamber.
Even without transforming, gohan's full power super saiyan form (when he was still saying how much he didn't even want to fight) was of a comparable level.
>>140423126
the first thing i would do
get rid of yamamuro (the guy responsible for supers art design) and bring back maeda
>>140433611
well aside from saying the villains for some reason help against the new villains, that sounds like the plot of xenoverse.
>>140423126
I would have had Goku lose his Super Saiyan powers after Namek. The Androids and Cell would have been weaker than Frieza, Buu would be around Frieza's power, maybe a little higher, and Beerus would be around Perfect Cell's canon power. The Battle of the Gods arc would have revolved around Goku getting his Super Saiyan powers back to fight Beerus with. None of that nonsense about 'Ascended Super Saiyan,' 'Full-Power Super Saiyan,' 'Super Saiyan 2,' 'Super Saiyan 3,' or 'Super Saiyan God.'
>>140428307
>Transport Freeza to another universe
Congratulations. You managed to come up with an ending that's even dumber than the original.
>>140423126
>Scrap Fukatsu no F and make it Fukatsu no C
>Borrow the GT story line and have Cell be the master mind behind the whole thing of android 17, while all that happens Goku and Vegeta are training
>After Super 17 is born Gohan.Piccolo etc cant defeat him, Gotenks ssj3 is equal to him but his time is running out, Goku and Vegeta return to earth just in time to save everyone
>Cell was also training and he appears
>he absorbs Super 17 and after fighting against SSB Goku and Vegeta he overpowers them
>Beerus appears and tells Cell about the Universe tournament
>Cell. Vegeta, Goku, Gohan and Gotenks are the 5 representatives
>Cell trains with cell jrs on his own
>Goku trains with Gohan in the time chamber
>Vegeta trains with Gotenks
>Gohan and Gotenks gain God ki on their own without the ritual, but Gohan is not able to transform into SSB
>Tournament starts
>After varius plots and twists and great fights with good animation, Cell Vs Gohan rematch is the final fight of the tournament.
See you again on the next episode of Dragon Ball
>>140433914
>How the fuck would Cell come back? There's nobody around to wish for him
>Gotenks can't be in the tournament because he's technically two separate people
>Why would Cell be fighting Gohan in the universe tournament?
There's more plot holes in this than swiss cheese.
I ask Toriyama if he wants to make money. If so we bring out a cute female saiyan, and have Bra and Pan be the new Goten and Trunks. Make them cute to sell figures and stuff.
>>140434034
these things can be explained, did you expect me to write the whole fucking arc in detail?
There was nobody to revive Frieza either but Toriyama created someone out of nowhere.
Also Gotenks becomes one person when they fuse, one mind, one body and a seperate personality. It counts as one person.
Or else piccolo wouldn't be able to fight either since he is fused with Neil and Kami :^)
>>140434138
merging=/=fusing
>>140433369
Yamcha is the closest thing to a normalfag in the entire cast. He's perfectly happy training casually and banging women.
>>140433769
>for some reason
Character development
Xenoverse is too decentralized for this type of story. You just make your OC and jump in various battles that are identical to the show with only the bad guys stronger. This follows one timeline that keeps getting fucked with that has these underdeveloped characters revealing new relations and perceptions with each other. For example, we get to see Bardock's relationship with Raditz in a way that meshes with canon. Not to mention the stakes are changed in some cases: Cooler comes with Cold and Frieza and destroys Future Trunks but is stopped by Future Gohan at the last second. It's really inventive for a dragon ball fic.
>>140434204
yes. It's the same, one has a time limit the other doesn't.
Both count as fusion.
>Namekian Fusion (融合, Yūgō;[2] lit. "Assimilation")
>is the first biological fusion that appears in the series
>A fusion (フュージョン, Fyūjon)
> The dance results in a completely new merged being with characteristics from both mergers.
>The Potara Fusion
>These earrings combine both users into a new being with complete attributes
All 3 are types of fusions that create one completely new individual being with characteristics and traits of the 2 that fused.
>>140434138
>There was nobody to revive Frieza either but Toriyama created someone out of nowhere.
Freeza had soldiers scattered across the universe that would still be around since not all of them were on Namek. Cell had nobody loyal to him except Dr. Gero who's dead and the Cell Jr.s who are also dead. Unless you got some random Red Ribbon Army soldier to bring him back but that would fucking suicidal for him.
>>140434380
Gotenks would still be stupid to have in a tournament though because of the time limit. They would have to get through all of their matches in 30 minutes and get kicked out once that time is up regardless of how well they may have been doing.
>>140431265
>lack hormones
>>140434543
>implying you can't have ANOTHER time traveler cell bring him back to life and that way bring Future Trunks to the next arc (it's going to happen anyway)
>implying you can't IMPROVE fusion to make it last longer
>>140434543
Cell could have created a Cell Jr. during the 10 day wait before the Games, and sent him into space, to return some day in case he died
>>140425161
Not being BTFO by Piccolo was the bigger crime familia.
>>140423126
Tell him that this is a terrible idea, we shouldn't go through with it
>>140423126
>Teenaged Gotenks and Gohan are both relevant again
>Once you go SSG you don't go SSGSS, you just gain a normal power-boost and stick to the old Saiyan modes.
>Future Trunks comes back as Time Patroller, they need to go back and fight the original SSG
>Gohan deals final blow
>next arc is Team of Beerus-type gods are villains
>>140423126
are we ever going to get animation quality and art style like this again?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6t4coUsCHIs
