http://komonews.com/live/event
https://www.periscope.tv/w/1lDGLEBlqWZJm
seattle police/fire scanner: http://komonews.com/live/live-police--fire-scanner-11-20-2015
Police finally talking to him, he's yelling and shit, looks like it's going down
physical exhaustion setting in
>>68505173
KOMO livestream here: http://komonews.com/live/event
seattle police/fire scanner: http://komonews.com/live/live-police--fire-scanner-11-20-2015
-
backstory here: http://komonews.com/news/local/man-trapped-at-top-of-tall-tree-in-downtown-seattle-rescue-launched
-
synopsis:
>man climbs 80 ft / 25 m tree in seattle
>becomes king of tree
>police arrive
>treeking demands smokes
>police bring him smokes
>treeking smokes the smokes
>throws apples and sticks at people below
>ladderbro arrives to talk him down from a bigass ladder
>treeking fashions a wizard staff from branches he tore off
>hangs upside-down from the top for a bit
>acrobatics ensue
>ladderbro retreats, spooked by treeking's display of power
>treeking climbs down and up multiple times
>attempts to burn down his own tree but fails
>drops trou and decides to poo in yew
>crane arrives
>treeking dishes out more hell
>crane withdraws to safe distance
>treeking climbs partway down and demands backpack
>treeking says nevermind fuck it and goes back to dicking around atop his treedom
>treeking constructs makeshift hammock above the canopy and attempts to sleep
>wakes up and says SHUT UP FAGGOT
>sharply punctuated "FAGGOT" echoes throughout the cityscape
>throws more shit
>goes back to sleep on what's left
>phoenix jones shows up
>also shillary arrived in the area
>cops tell phoenix to go away
>treeking breaks more branches in the treetop and initiates nesting protocol alpha
>cameraman thinks reddit is responsible for the hype
>CAMERAMAN'S TWITTER: @JTreece406
>cameraman gives shoutouts to ben garrison and brushie eesti
>treeking's minstrels arrive playing acoustic guitars and singing
>Treeking climbed down to get more branches baiting everyone
>Treeking is now returning to his throne
>dronebro flew around
>drownbro landed
>Cop revs engine
>this spooks the Treeking
>Treekings wakes up, drops trow and shits down tree
>cameraman gave shoutouts to /pol/ and Ben Garrison thanked Ben for his work in Africa
Tree man is an avatar of Vishnu
He's come to purge evil from the world with his mighty apples and twigs
His tree is the world tree, a physical manifestation of the celestial realm
TreeMan wigging the fuck out.
A degenerate in a tree.
what is he saying
fuck canada
>>68505374
Screaming a lot about prison rape.
yo they need to get a net or something he's going to run out of branches eventually
>treeking gain followers
>years later become king of Seattle
>Seattle become independant and the area become the Seattle forest
>treeking and his followers become the wild walkers/elfs IRL
How long has he been in the tree? 14 hours? Did he manage to eat at all?
>>68505374
tree food is good
inb4 treeking dies for our sins.
Guys what's tree man doing?
it's clear he is mentally unstable.
Also is it illegal to climb trees?
>>68505421
>year is 2030
>walk away from the great empire of man to go to the Seattle forest
>it used ot be a city
>now its a land of great forest and magic
>in the great life tree live the treeking
>>68505374
he's saying jthe cops dont have balls to do something, and that he's going to hell because he's going to prison, and just ranting but i can't hear him it's too quiet to hear now that he's facing away from us on the periscope
oh shit did I hear based rasp?
Wigging the fuck out
where is the cameraman from komo live reading from?
is he reading tweets?
treeking making his tree nest
>>68505464
No. The problem is that tree is next to a very busy intersection and he's throwing stuff and people and shitting all over the tree.
Plus it's a city landmark.
komonews is full of unprofessional shitfucks
>>68505542
Yeah he's reading tweets.
We got a couple of different cameramen to give shoutouts.
>>68505421
>pol pantheon
>no ebola-chan, our original goddess
>no winter-chan
0/10
>>68505495
>wake up
>he's still on the tree
now thats dedication
This isn't going to go much longer. He's all physically messed up. He tried to climb down earlier but didn't have the strength.
Rush hour in Seattle starts in about 30 minutes.
Confirmed we will not see him splay. Bail out and watch the re-runs.
>>68505464
it's an incredibly tall tree in the middle of the city, the cops are just treating it as a fire hazard. there is literally nothing they can do because he will just start fighting a cop if they come near or possibly fall off the tree.
>>68505566
got it, but where is he reading from? twitter?
>>68505579
yeah the guy was fucking with the shutter speed and the iso, he said he doesn't know how to operate it.
>>68505579
I hate homo news so much for muting the audio because muh naughty words.
>>68505579
How professional do you have to be to sit with a Camera video taping a drug addict shitting in a tree while a bunch of drunks across the street yell at him for 14 hours?
dat eye zoom
why are they focusing on this faggot and not treegod now?
Holy shit he's still up there?
Guys, correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Tree King OLD and also a WHITE MALE? If so, what does our friends Carl and AIDS skrillex think about this little stunt he's pulling?
>>68505437
>The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world.
>King of Trees vs. Quadcopter of Seattle!
>>68505591
toppestkek
>>68505663
73 hours, how does one even sleep in that uncomfortable position/situation, jesus
>>68505727
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>68505663
>possibly fall off the tree
And literally nothing of value would be lost. Instead we're burning taxpayer money by humoring him.
>>68505664
@JTreece406
>>68505797
16 hours bro
>>68505797
He broke off a bunch of branches and built a bed
I was there, spreading my meme magic about an hour ago.
I wanted to see this for myself.
>>68505797
yeah shoutout to ben garrison and /pol/, lol.
Someone on the periscope stream said something about sam hyde
>>68505604
better ?
>>68505802
Come on bro, this is like NASCAR. We're all just waiting for the carnage.
>>68505849
my bad i heard 70 instead of 17.
Also still, very uncomfortable i reckon he will come down when daytime comes, he needs to eat and stretch his legs.
that's a big ass tree
>>68505889
And he's lying down in it?
THE ABSOLOUTE MADMAN
>>68505889
i watched him build the entire thing, it was fascinating
i guess this is his home now honestly, the cops should just go home
>>68505437
don't even say that
it would be too poignant
I'm not ready for Treeking to be the second coming of Christ
I'm really not
FUCK! now I know what this whole debacle reminds me of:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhalb0_waking-life_shortfilms
Go to 59:28
It's almost an exact reenactment, and the douche bags on the ground are /pol/
kek Olive is one of Seattle busiest roads. This faggot just shut down Seattle during rush hour again.
>>68505889
i can't believe the backstory greentext is actually true, man, don't do drugs kids
>>68505909
kekaroos, but i don't think they know who they are saluting, they are just saying it to get audience.
>>68505965
>>68505985
seriously though if they ever get him on the ground they're going to beat him blue for fucking up the last tree in washinton
>>68505985
Now he just needs to find a way to catch the birds to eat. And hope it rains for water.
I can't believe I've been watching this for the last 4 hours
>>68505912
>>68505604
>when dumb ass niggas post weeaboo shit on /pol/
>>68505918
agreed, we just want to see him go down
>>68506070
that would be amazing to watch
nobody cared who he was until he claimed his treedom
>>68506130
I can't believe I've been watching this for the past 17 hours.
>>68506130
Same. I've been watching this literally all night. Fuck my sleep schedule is so screwed.
>>68506130
only 4?
>>68506130
I've been here for over twelve.
>>68506175
based
>>68506132
fucking hell wich pantheon is good then ??
>>68506175
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS TREEKING DOING ON THE GROUND?
>>68506175
are hipsters still a thing?
>>68506191
You stay at home all day in the basement anyway , why do you need a sleep schedule?
went to work, came home, holy fuck he's still there, amazing
I met with rasp man about an hour ago on site by periscope man. I'm monitoring this thread.
Little did you all know, /pol/ was standing there for about an hour
what the fuck he's still up there? i remember going to bed and thinking this is taking to long(after 1 hour) and he's still here the next morning
HOLY FUCK HE JUST FELL LMFAO WAIT FOR THE LIVESTREAM TO CATCH UP HE FUCKING FELL@@@@@@@
TREEKING IS FUCKING DEAD
>>68506132
>being an infidel
i want to hear what he is shouting
>>68506057
>initiates nesting protocol alpha
i wanna be like this guy.
i wanna make a DIFFERENCE
>>68506325
This is why no one likes us Aussie posters.
>>68506295
Nah man, I live on the top floor.
>>68506130
I watched for 8 hours yesterday.
Can anyone tell me what happened with the drone? Was it the anon from /pol/? What'd he do?
Tree King is a friend of the people.
>>68506394
He got v& according to some other anon
>>68506305
If you were near the Perisope guy why didn't you tell that foreign fuck to shut up with his broken English?
>>68506070
>Seattle
>hope it rains
>>68506132
Fucking hell, I'm a newfag to this board but even I was around during Ebola-chan.
american pastime
http://www.badfads.com/events/flagpole-sitting/
The need to do things today is strong but I also want to see if treeking falls.
>>68506359
laughed so hard
How can she shit so much? what has he eaten?
>>68506325
You are funny. Vegemite is a real food.
>>68506394
>Some guy post a quadcopter nonchalantly on /pol/
>then he post the controller
>5 minutes later theres a fucking drone 10 feet away from Treecuck
stuff of legends many lols were had
>>68506175
That timeless attire though. Where do you even ugg boots like that? This fucking dude looks like he just as easily could have fit in during Blackbeard the pirate's day, in that getup.
>>68506377
oh aussie-kun, i like you very much
>>68506394
Most righteous night of my life anon, it actually happened.
SITTING
>>68506452
Because it rains a lot? It rained a lot when he was in the tree yesterday.
>>68506305
So many WAfags out tonight Pepe. Were you on camera?
periscope faggots leaving the front line
>>68505173
Anyone have a picture when he hanged upside down? Missed that part.
does komo only hire fags?
>>68506305
numale, international lover who wants to fuck up to 60 year olds? /pol/ is ashamed
>>68506515
ON THE TREE
>>68506447
Yes, and stir up a confrontation with the police.
Sounds like something that obnoxious black guy would do.
>mfw get seattle channels and can watch this in HD
In my town a guy did something similar for a few months to protest nuclear weapons.
>>68506560
IM TREEKING MAN RUN THE UNDERWORLD GUY I ROLL THE BIRDS
>6 million twitter followers
OY
VEY
>KOMO guy thinks it's possible to solve homeless problem
fucking idiot.
Also fucking retarded captcha
>>68505437
ayy lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udJL2jA2Rt8
>>68506175
Dude from Soundgarden really lost it when grunge lost its popularity.
Sad really.
>>68506661
>telling someone to shut the fuck up causes confrontation with the police
Land of the free.
>>68506715
MY DICKS ON FIRE! MY DICKS ON FIRE!
Anyone know what kind of tree he's residing in?
>>68506787
a bigass one
>>68506787
douglas fir
>>68506647
IN SEATTLE
>>68506615
Being uncivilized on a stream, in SJW-ville. I'm not a fool.
>>68506787
A wood tree, with some type of greenery coming off of it's branches.
>>68506787
I thought they said it was a sequoia
Thisis making homesick senpai. :( I left Seattle a few years ago. Watching this periscope is rough bros.
>>68506787
TREE OF THE TREE GOD
>>68506730
lel they literally bus homeless people here from out of town/state.
Based internet sensation Thomas the cameraman
>>68506855
Do you reckon there's roots going in to the ground?
>>68506526
Yes, regretfully
I'm so fucking tired, please just fall and die so I can go to bed, I've been up for so long that I don't want to go to bed empty handed.
I just woke up. Did Phoenix Jones end up doing anything?
>>68506969
>
Were you one of the faggots chasing that 7/10 from TiniBigs or whatever?
>>68506993
He was defeated by yellow tape and the law!
>>68506993
No the cops wouldn't let him past the tape.
>>68506787
Judging by its needles, it's a type of cedar. Incense cedar is common on the west coast.
Definitely not doug fir. These are Doug fir needles.
I had been interviewed by komo once.
And I also worked in fisher plaza where their studios are located.
This raspy homeless dude is base as fuck.
>>68506993
He showed up, was told to leave by the cops, and got cussed out by drunks and hobos
>>68506993
The cops said, and I quote: "Get the fuck outta here you retard."
Homeless RASPY dude "ISIS WANTS TO KILL US!"
ISIS Gun Kill Us, noimsayin.
Im berns friend.
>crazy hobos are bern victims
it all makes sense
>fuck trump
REEEEEEEEEE
BURN'S FRIEND, LONG DONG!
THE ONE WHO SPITS TRUTH
>>68506305
I was too was there.
>feel the bern
these periscope fags need to fuck off now
>>68507090
I wasn't watching the periscope at the time, did they seriously say this is this a meme?
>>68507052
They already said it's a Sequoia. It's a somewhat famous tree in the downtown area.
TreeKing chilling asleep in his tree.
Raspy confirmed bluepilled
FUCKING BERNOUTS
What's he doing now? Can't see shit on Komo
>>68507168
Not in those exact words, but a based officer said we got one nut up in this tree we dont need two kek
FIRE BRIGADE INBOUND?
ITS HAPPENING
inb4 this happens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42Or3_SOn70
5 am theyre getting serious with fire trucks since now this faggot is fucking up rush hour in downtown
>>68507028
Nah, that guy was obnoxious as fuck.
I was there, talking to raspy homeless dude cause he knew the guy up on the tree. I figured he would know more about the individual up on that tree.
I see theyre going for the stealth kill...
WAKE EVERYONE THE FUCK UP BRIGADE
THEY'RE GONNA RAM THE TREE RUUUUUUUN!!!
can we send him pizza?
I was so sad yesterday to have to hit the bed and witnessing the tree man, but he is still fucking here holy shit
>>68506787
it's a fir tree
Firemen are arriving, got that sweet experience from rescuing kittens
>>68507332
Aw it's cool, honestly that pack of nu-males chasing the poon was annoying as fuck. Everyone else was cool playing their role.
The man in the tree? Nobody even knows his name?
they could blast him with cold water and force him to come down.
>>68507438
I heard his name is Sam Hyde.
God dammit Komo cameraman
eye zooms are the only reason i'm still watching
>>68506787
Definitely a sequoia.
This wizard, setting fires from afar
and the firetruck pass by, looking for more important things kek
That fire chief's car went screaming by holy shit
>>68507399
they should send the russians, they're specialists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_Nr31Lv6H8
>>68507483
they tried but he beat them with a stick
Are there multiple streams? komo isn't filming treeking anymore >:(
So what is it, a fir or a sequoia?
TREEKING IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS GIVING
is the madman still up there? holy shit
UK bans sirens at night except in extremis. Why not America?
WAVING HIS ARMS
>>68505173
>tREEEEEEEEEEEEE
someone... was playing pokemon... on a livestream?
>>68507573
TREEKING IS VERY ADEPT AND COMPETENT AT DEFENDING HIS HOLDOUT
pokemon?=
>>68507634
POKE KEY MAUN?
Cameraman is a god damn memer.
He knows twitch
>>68507612
because we're loud and obnoxious Americans?
L.L. Bean = MAXIMUM NORMIE
>>68507612
Because we're not idiots and need people to clear the roadway when we respond to emergencies. You often don't know it's an emergency until you arrive on scene.
The guy explaining Twitch plays Pokemon kek
>he's got a pretty big nest up there
>>68507438
CODAAAAY
http://www.inquisitr.com/2917545/man-in-tree-throwing-apples-causes-havoc-in-seattle/
We're making this national news boys.
>>68507438
His name is Robert Paulson.
>>68507672
https://youtu.be/Sp22ts2URHs?t=12s
with the poke and the mon
Why is someone's name "Kyler"?
Put the TREEKING back on screen damnit. Fuck this cunt.
HES STILL UP THERE?
has he taken a shit shit yet?
>"really hoping this ends peacefully"
PROD HIM WITH A FUCKING STICK I WANNA SEE SOME HOMELESS MAN BOUNCE
>>68507566
My fucking sides
>>68507669
Hola amigo, ¿de qué parte de España eres?
>>68507612
Because outside your tiny island there are people who are not huge faggots.
>>68507763
Yes, he took a shit on top of the tree
>>68507763
poo in yew
treeman of peace
KOMO news are fucking retards
>>68507584
hitbox dot tv/AdmiralVonNelson
I put on some music too. and a shitty old TV resolution for nostalgia. get comfy.
>>68507573
fuckin hell that's hilarious
>>68507584
https://www.periscope.tv/w/1lDGLEBlqWZJm
The guys on Periscope are cringe as fuck
treeman of peace, all he is, all he will ever be
why are komo filming a guy no one cares about instead of the guy sleeping in a tree
>>68507161
Meme magic is real
>>68507864
it's how he got rid of ladder-man too, and the people with the crane were hit with rocks or something
treeman don't like the drones, it make him wild
>>68507566
Holy fuck. That was just a comedy of errors.
lel the drone was on the news.
Drone on the news, yay
weather channel says its going to start raining at 3pm there.
This reminds me of that one Egyptian saint who sat on a giant pillar for years meditating
>>68507999
Witnessed.
Also it rained hard yesterday, I watched him - not fazed at all
we're watching the live stream at https://instasync.com/r/v4c
Let the rain fall, treeman will drink and satiate himself
RASPY ON KOMO NEWS
>>68507999
trips oooh
>>68507786
hahaha you are aware that your country is the most homosexual whiney hipster shithole there is right?
Dronebro name dropped!
>>68508013
except this nigga aint meditating, hes dropping f bombs like its going out of style
>>68508013
>Egyptian saint who sat on a giant pillar for years meditating
>Saint Simeon Stylites or Symeon the Stylite (Syriac: ܫܡܥܘܢ ܕܐܣܛܘܢܐ šamʻun dasṯonáyá, Ancient Greek: Συμεὼν ὁ στυλίτης Symeon Stylites, Arabic: سمعان العمودي semaan al aamoudi ) (c. 388 – 2 September 459) was a Syriac ascetic saint who achieved fame for living 37 years on a small platform on top of a pillar near Aleppo in Syria. Several other stylites later followed his model (the Greek word style means pillar). He is known formally as Saint Simeon Stylites the Elder to distinguish him from Simeon Stylites the Younger, Simeon Stylites III and Saint Symeon Stylites of Lesbos.
badass, damn
>>68507999
Checked
Hang in there tree bro.
Can't watch the stream right now. Have they installed nets on the ground? They could just install huge nets and leave him up there. He's bound to come down one way or the other.
TREEKING needs to wake up and yell a new decree to the world.
The tree belongs in a museum!
Can't listen to these annoying faggots anymore, I'm going to bed
Stay safe Tree King
>>68508218
but he is a danger to others
LIVE STREAM https://instasync.com/r/v4c
What if he starts masturbating?
>>68508218
No nets, I think they're going to just leave him up there and probably arrest him when he comes down. They said they're going to open the road to traffic for the commute.
>>68508218
Apparently this is happening at a busy intersection, and rush hour is also approaching.
Realistically, if they wanted to get him down ASAP, how would they do it?
>>68508421
doesnt really fuckin look like it
>>68506061
You mean Seattle? Because nigga, where I'm at, there's nothing but trees like that. They're everywhere. Get out of the city more, bro.
>>68508430
He already flung shit so who knows, this is too surreal.
>>68508285
mate its midday in the UK and you're going to bed
>>68508421
I didn't even know v4c was still around.
Jeeze, did the fire get put out, all these sirens
>>68505912
ugh cut out the anime, or put sub tier like paragons to please the weeboos
For some reason Treeking is giving me some serious nostalgia for the 90s when this was the most terrorist thing somebody could do.
I might go watch porn on a VCR next.
>>68508451
"probably arrest him"
they said they are going to, thats why he wont come down, he yelled out that he won't come down because he doesn't wanna get arrested
>>68508553
I've been up all night waiting for a hobo to fall out of a tree
>>68508494
inflatable mats around the tree, a firetruck and water.
>"that's what I remember about NYC: endless sirens"
>"Seattle is catching up"
He know he gotta stay up or get busted. wonder if he knows how much his fame is growing?
>Treeman will commit seppuku with his staff as he falls into the pavement
Can you imagine how fucking awesome it would be if he fell in the middle of live TV broadcasting?
>>68508421
who is this semen demon?
Maybe he has overdosed and died?
>>68508605
>yfw cops don't have jurisprudence on top of trees
anyone else here be genuinely upset if he fell and died
i know i would
maybe it's because I've been watching for so long
>>68508730
i hope he'd have the courtesy to at least light himself on fire first
>Shoutouts to Ben Garrison
>>68508752
(The Zodiac Killer)
>>68508788
I'm so tired that I'm scaring myself how happy I would be if he died right now.
>>68507438
Nobody cared who he was until he climbed the tree.
Congratulations, you got your smokes. WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP OF YOUR MASTER PLAN!?
HOW DO YOU SLEEP IN A FUCKING TREE
If they get close he will scream and fling poo
TREEKING awakens!
do a fliiiiiip
MORNING PISS AND SHIT INCOMING!
>>68508916
He made a bed from other parts of the tree.
Jesus Christ is he still up there? Whats it been like... 10 hours + now? THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>68508896
Trashing this tree... with no survivors!!!
There was similiar climber in latvia he ended up suicide jumping
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkYpYXtixLs
>>68509005
Pol pronounced poll
>DONT BE THAT GUY
>I'M GONNA BE THAT GUY
BRINGING SOME MEMORIES BACK
>>68508916
he is a hobo, you learn to sleep everywhere at anytime. Seen some sleeping deeply near a 2x4 lane at rush hour. Or maybe they were dead.
Booze helps to sleep also but now he is sober than he has ever be for a long time…
BIG BROTHER LOVER
why don't they just shoot him?
don't american cops like to shoot people?
DO YOU HEAR THE FUCKIGN SIRENS
>>68509088
die mexicans die
Can't see this guy diving. He's really enjoying his fame
>>68509061
If he doesn't come down before he's too tired, he will probably pass out and fall.
>That siren
Sounded a little creepy desu
>>68509195
That tree is 80 foot tall. American cops can barely hit a target from 30 feet.
>>68509195
Hes not being a thug nigger so no
>>68505173
why do they even care
just let him be there and place a fine at the bottom of the tree for the lulz
fuck its getting boring, im counting on you fags to record it if anything memeworthy happens
anyone have a link to the periscope stream?
>woke up
>he's still up there
OH GOD MY EARS
cringe
>>68509061
they need to discuss that he will go to a mental hospital and be free or just not go to prison or jail, that's his big thing right now and most people aren't obsessed with the mentally ill like i am and don't even hear what he's saying.
he kept yelling about how he was going to hell in prison or whatever, honestly they should just roll that crane in and make a move
did they just hire a homeless guy to run the camera?
komo just stahp please just fucking stop
>>68509337
https://www.periscope.tv/w/1lDGLEBlqWZJm
>>68509299
>for the lulz
Jesus
>>68509337
https://www.periscope.tv/w/1lDGLEBlqWZJm
YO HOW ABOUT A XZIBIT MEME GUISE xDDDD
so meta so meta if this happened 10 years ago
JUST CHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BIG PILE OF SHIT
>>68509337
https://www.periscope.tv/w/1lDGLEBlqWZJm
le stream while you stream xD !!
>>68505173
>BUMP LIMIT REACHED
NEW THREAD
>NEW THREAD
>>68509416
NEW THREAD
>NEW THREAD
>>68509416
NEW THREAD
>NEW THREAD
>>68509416
>>68509389
>>68509395
>>68509396
>>68509407
AYYY what is that white stuff
why dont they just set out safety nets and move in with a few cranes from either side
the only other way it can end is him passing out and falling off
>>68509462
XD our stream is stream inside le strem omg i did nazi that coming guys
>>68509497
hopefully bird poo
Yo dawg i heard yo like streams so we put a stream in yo stream so yo can stream while yo stream :DDD
RAIN
>>68509340
dude its 9:30 what u doing asleep
To be fair, I did Nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'Merican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. Yes. I get this reference. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You must be a hit at parties. I like you. Doctors hate you! Instructions unclear. Dick caught in you magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. As a black man and as a gay man and as a woman, black people suck, gay people are gross and women are bitches. You must be new to Reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once, and it's almost as if Reddit is composed of millions of individuals with different opinions and outlooks. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a bundle of sticks, 2/10, would not bang, not with that attitude. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE!
TREE KING should be Vice President when Emperor Trump is President.
>If he makes it another 3 hours, he'll have been up there for 24 hours.
Damn, that's gotta set some kind of niche record.
omfg red jacket fucking ridiculous
Fucking normies not letting tree king reign in peace.
Man returns to human nature.
EVERYONE FREAKS THE FUCK OUT ! ! !
>>68508543
Underrated as fuck holy kek
LAST DIGIT DECIDES THE FATE OF TREE KING:
1: Tree King becomes hopeless. No longer content ruling his arboreus domain, he willfully jumps 80 ft and dies on the cold concrete streets of Seattle.
2. TreeKing, fatigued and restless, attempts to bolster his throne. While pruning branches, he woefully slips, smashing into branch after branch, landing at the base of the tree, where paramedics cart his lifeless body into an ambulance.
3. Tree King climbs downward once more to taunt the officials below. Because of his weakened state, he slips, and falls a mere 30 ft, breaking a few bones. He is carted off by the paramedics.
4. Tree King is too weak to carry on. Atop his throne he rests, the symptoms of dehydration clear. A crane lowers an official to pluck him from his finely built nest.
5. Tree King is visited once more by the fire department via very tall ladder. After minutes of negotiations, Tree King abandons his kingdom, descends the ladder and is delivered to the police.
6. Tree King descends the tree towards the base and gives himself up. He is tired and visibly shaken, and peacefully escorted away in custody.
7. Tree King, fueled with the powers of the forest, descents the tree and begins taunting and threatening the police. After throwing what appears to be a sharpened stick, he is gunned down by no less than 4 officers, who fire a total of 37 rounds into his head and torso.
8. After lighting a cigarette, Tree King accidentally immolates himself and the tree, causing a fire that spreads to the adjacent Macy's. 16 people die, including our hero.
9. Tree King constructs a finely crafted suit of log armor and jumps 80 ft to the ground where he lands unharmed. He charges the crowd, slaying 23 civilians and 3 cops with his druid stick before a barrage of police shotgun pellets take him out.
0. Tree King, is forcefully extracted via SWAT helicopter, which tactically disorient him from his branch-chair.
dubs: Tree King ascends into godhood drifts into the sky.
Need an update I was away for an hour.
>>68510855
yeah, and I need a girlfriend, but we don't always get what we want, now, do we?
>>68510745
I hoping on 7 we need an hero
NU BREAD PLS?
>>68511221
only betas need
alphas want
>>68511332
and real men have
>>68510745
9 pls
