>E3 2016
>Nintendo's Press Conference finishes, everyone is excited by the idea of finally getting a real next-gen Nintendo Console that can actually compete with the big boys, and even PC
>Suddenly the lights come on, and there's a sound uneasiness coming from the announcer
>"Uh... Next up, we uh, have presenting... Bethesda Game Studios."
>Crowd groans collectively, murmuring and sounds of irritation
>Pete Hines walks up on the stage to laughter and collective booing at his ugly mug, people jeering from the crowds, "Not interested in whatever shit speech you're gonna give!" comes crying out of the crowd, to raucous laughter.
>Pete Hines nervously stammers into the microphone, 'I-I'm sure you must have all enjoyed our latest product-" The crowd boos, with "No!" and shouts of disapproval. "-Fallout 4." The audience then erupts in a fit of rage. People are yelling and booing calling him to get off the stage. Fat guys in fedoras are flailing their arms at Pete, screaming "LORE RAPIST! LORE RAPIST! LORE RAPIST!" "FRANCHISE RUINER!"
>Pete Hines can barely compose himself over his shame and embarassment. His eyes are glued to the ground. He mutters a few lines about how grateful he is to the Bethesda team for making such a wonderful product, but nobody can hear him over all the shouting and booing. However, the crowd lessens up long enough for him to say, "And for our second annual E3 con-conference... Todd-"
>Todd Howard is involuntarily pushed onto the stage by Bethesda employees, like a lamb being put on an altar as a sacrifice. The very sight of Todd's stupid haircut shifts all the crowd's concentrated anger away from Pete and onto this icon of their undying hatred. The man behind the ruination of their great series. The anger erupts brighter than an exploding star, people are screaming, shouting, throwing whatever they have on their person at Todd Howard.
1/3
>Todd awkwardly grabs onto the microphone that Pete Hines dragged over to him before running off left of the stage for his dear life, as the audience threw their E3 ID tags and pamphlets at him as he ran out the door.
>The entire audience now fixates on Todd, in an awkward predatory silence, waiting for whatever damnation will come tumbling out of his mouth for them to pounce on.
>Todd’s face is like a waterfall, water dripping down his forehead like the floodgates were opened. His eyes are red and bloodshot, his adam’s apple bobbing nervously. He tugs the neckline of his shirt. “So uh… Our new DLC for Fallout 4… Will take you to, um, an exciting new locale in our ingame universe-“ The word ‘our’ punctuated by a man in the audience standing up, and the entire audience turns to him.
>The spotlights focus, revealing Brian Fargo standing among a sea of angry fans. “You mean the universe you stole out from under us in a bid.”
>Todd opens his mouth to say something, but another face rises from the audience, Chris Avellone. “And proceeded to butcher the dignity and lore of.” Todd wipes a load of sweat from his forehead. “W-We tried to maintain the dignity of the franchise for our fans-“ The crowd erupts in shouts and anger. People shouting “JET ISN’T PRE WAR!” and Todd narrowly dodges a tomato being thrown at him. He leans into the mic for one last chance to try and quell the horde.
>”We thought, we thought we would be onto something that… That just wor-“
>The audience goes nuts. People begin charging through the crowd and up the stage, Todd gets tackled by the nearest musclebound man with a large tattoo on his arm reading “SAWYER RULES” as the crowd tears him limb from limb.
2/3
This is the single most autistic thread I've seen all week.
>Moments later, the entire E3 assembly has been hijacked, the arena set on fire, and on the top of the stadium is Todd Howard, Emil Pagliarulo, and Pete Hines’ bodies swinging from ropes by the neck, their bodies horrifically mutilated. On Todd Howard’s bloodied forehead, the words, “IT JUST WORKS” was scrawled using a sharp knife.
>The crowd from the Bethesda press conference gathers at the center, having kicked out any and all “Casuals” they deemed was infesting the site. At the front, Tim Cain was leading them all. Holding high the mangled bloodied skinned hair of Todd Howard.
>”FROM THIS DAY FORWARD BROTHERS, WE ARE FREE TO MAKE REAL RPG’S!” The crowd roars in excitement. “The great Bethestards have been slain! Fallout is free!”
>Vince D. Weller climbs up on the stage, holding high a copy of his shitty game behind Cain. “And don’t forget to buy my REAL RPG, Age of Decadence! I made this on the bold assumption people didn’t want to play a game made for retards!” He is completely ignored.
>Years later, InXile and Obsidian forge a new alliance with the promise of "A Great new Future for RPG's" with RPG Codex and NMA being their greatest contributors. Much fanfare and immense hype come following the years leading up to the true "Fallout 3" being produced, after all of Bethesda's works were proclaimed non-canon garbage that never happened, and all copies were collectively taken and thrown into a landfill and wiped from all history of ever existing.
>Fallout 3:Van Buren is released, a completely buggy, clunky, unfun mess with ridiculously hard combat and over 100 skills, traits, and stat meters that make no sense with tedious squad based combat, a short shitty story with horrible forced cliches and all love interests cuckold you with someone stronger and the game panders to SJWs
>The game is considered a masterpiece and is praised for centuries to come, as each game grows progressively worse in the same manner
3/3
>>336136970
>>336137068
>>336137450
Fallout 4 wasn't as bad as you like to think it was.
You're fucking autistic
100/10
decent read
>>336136970
Thanks OP.
>>336137450
How will they make a game if they are serving 30 to life for murder? Fucking baby fantasies I swear.
>>336137765
Yes, it was.
And you apparently didn't read OP's post.
Nigga, do you know how Pete Hines is? He's literally the biggest asshole in the universe. He'd walk on stage, call everyone ungrateful cunts, and piss on everyone in the splash zone.
