> At least I can say; "I've lived"
>a step too far
>hurr you're not allowed to do things for the 8 hours your wife is in labor
>low value bird pokemon
fucking normieeess reeee
>>344533617
This is something women actually believe.
Not a shiny pidgey
She's not giving birth she's dialating.
Fancy woman speak for 'keeping us waiting', am I right fellas? yuk
>>344533447
>Playing Pokemon Go while wifey is giving birth is off limits
>Wearing flip flops in a hospital is not
>>344533447
>Maternity leave
>Gotta take care of the kid months after birth
>Man has got to do nothing while she lays on her back
>"We demand equal pay"
>>344535213
Anon
There are guys that don't wear any bottoms because it makes the women feel better about giving birth
Some women want to give birth on the floor "naturally" and doctors allow it.
>By Helena Horton
Gee, I wonder who is behind that article.
It's probably jews and not women! Not women at all!
Bitch is not even giving birth at the moment he caught the goddamn "low-valued" bird, for fucks sake, Helena.
Babies and small kids are fucking annoying.
Why doesn't he just talk and spend time with his wife?
>>344533447
Doesn't look like shes giving birth to me. What's he supposed to do? Just sit there staring for hours?
>>344533447
>Autists actually going outside their house to go and catch pokemon
First Pokemon GO fatality when?
>>344535359
That's retarded.
'murrica I'm guessing.
>>344535359
>doctors allow it
Doctors have to tolerate tons of retardation from women being women. They can lose the job for not allowing the subhuman to pick its own idiotic way of giving birth.
>>344533617
My wife was in the hospital for over 24 hours, and she was drugged out of her mind for most of it. I'm guessing the person writing the article is a teen with no concept of how giving birth works.
>>344535572
Because they've been there for hours, she's probably going in and out of conciousness, and hormones/drugs/pain are making a normal conversation impossible.
>>344535572
You need to be over 18 to post here m8.
>>344535650
They definitely can't lose their job for it. They're more likely to lose their job by allowing a dangerous birth rather than telling the person to fuck off to their holistic hut or something.
>>344535734
Unless she had to have a cesarean, I thought they weren't allowed to drug the mother up as they could drug the baby up that way?
>>344535623
I got stopped by some cops in a graveyard last night.
I just wanted some pokespots
>Wife went in at 8pm for routine check and monitoring.
>"We'll keep you in until tomorrow."
>Get phone call at 4:15am.
>"You need to be here... like, now."
>"Drive through empty streets."
>Go up to the birth floor. Chairs full of worried and tired looking guys. Two doors are open calling me by name and rush me in.
>Wife is on table. Nurse says "He's here, you can push now."
>Wife goes "K". No gas and air. My heir arrives in under 5 mins.
>Total time of lab + birth - 43min.
>Spend time holding the future of my glorious bloodline. Nurse even goes and gets some coffee from the Costa as she needed a break.
>Chilled out like a motherfucker with the lady, went home early afternoon.
I don't understand these women who freak that they're in labor for hours. Does that actually happen? Is that a thing?
>>344535948
The fuck you think an epidural is? Sugarwater?
>>344535572
You've clearly never seen a woman getting the contractions. You don't talk. They will fucking rip you apart if you even look at them.
>>344536083
> works on my machine :)
Just end yourself
>>344535948
Most kids come out dopey due to drugs as this man >>344536102 hit it on the head . It's why a lot don't actually cry when they come out.
>>344536219
Not my fault that your woman's got shit genes mate and her baby tunnel goes about as fast as the Panama Canal
>>344533447
>not in Europe yet
>not even sure if edit or not
>>344536324
More like your wife has great genes. Most women spend at least several hours in agony.
>low value
>>344536083
Giving birth takes time because it involves pushing out a human being.
Your wife passed a turd.
>>344536031
Pokemon GO becoming known nation wide
>Cops probably hearing this excuse constantly
>I can now easily stalk people from their windows at night by using the excuse that I'm just playing Pokemon Go
Thanks Nintendo!
>>344536393
Dutchfag here. Just download the APK and install it. You can play it
>>344533447
>tfw playing with bf's ass
>use Go for giggles
>rattata perched right on top of it
It was kinda hot
>>344533447
>Giving attention to bullshit clickbait articles
Everyone in this thread needs to hang themselves.
>>344536710
How about you lead by example.
We'll be right behind you.
Does the app still work when you lock the screen? It doesn't seem like it. Are you supposed to be glued to the screen all the time and have your phone turned on?
>>344536256
[citation needed]
>>344536710
you mean hang out? what do you think we are doing?
>>344535572
>talking to a woman while she's giving birth
Have you never even seen them parody this in the movies?
They're DEMONIC in this stage.
I've been there to see my mom, sister and 2 aunts in labor. All of them turned into insufferable cunts while they were in there.
>>344535852
They're drugging them while they're giving birth? I was under the impression they don't give them anything. Why do women complain about childbirth then?
>>344536814
yeah, it has to be open. I just have it open and carry my phone and only look if it vibrates or I think I'm near a pokestop.
I do wish you could play it more passively, yeah.
>>344536906
That doesn't mean anything.
Being an insufferable cunt clearly runs in your family.
>>344537075
because only a kick in the nuts is more painful
but the pain stays with the woman for at least 2 hours non-stop
it can easily go up to 8 hours of non-stop pain even when heavily drugged
>>344536581
it does not work for me
can't get past the loading screen without the game crashing
>>344537308
yeah, the servers are crap and are down constantly. Can't really complain when you are not officially in an area supported, and you are creating server load over what they plan for, yourself.
>>344537075
Mostly women don't get drugged during childbirth. It really depends on how much pain she's in and how long it takes for the kid to pop out, which can take anything from 10 minutes up to a full day.
>>344537250
>when heavily drugged
They barely feel a thing when they're drugged. Discomfort from the contractions but no pain at all.
Unless your doctor is terrible at his job of course.
If they do
>>344537482
underage pls
>Pidgey
>not Kangaskhan or Marowak or Chansey
>not playing Hardcore mode
it's not like as men we can really see what it feels like. and you can't trust what women say it feels like, it's in their interest to make it out to sound as painful as possible for pity points etc.
>>344537471
Not sure what country you're from but in most European countries it's over 50% of women who ask for epidural.
>>344537075
>They're drugging them while they're giving birth? I was under the impression they don't give them anything.
There's the epidural for pain if the mother wants it, and there are medications to both stimulate and reduce contractions if need be. If the mom has hypertension they'll hook her up on mag sulfate too. What momma gets baby gets, but sometimes it's necessary for mom to get medicine.
>Why do women complain about childbirth then?
It's a pretty brutal affair. The vagina dilates, the cervix effaces and shrinks to allow the baby to come through. If the vagina isn't big enough for the baby, the doctor has to use scissors to lengthen the opening by cutting the vagina. The job's only done after the placenta is delivered, too. It's a nasty show.
>>344537583
did someone already make meme website that lets you overlay pokemans over any photo
>>344537658
I want to believe that people are legit finding them in these situations and not just memeing.
I don't care how implausible it may be
>>344537598
*tips fedora*
you're right! giving birth is a cakewalk my good sir
>>344537752
I want to see a photo album of this guy catching a pokemon at every single important event in his kids life.
>>344537804
>So you wanna be a star, huh?>Put on the glasses...
>>344536490
>your wife passed a turd
There's an alternate interpretation to be found here.
>>344535572
Anon they're pushing an average 7.5 pound 20 inch child out of their normally small vagina. It's not comfortable, and they generally have better things to with their time like heavy breathing or screaming. To say nothing of how long it goes on or the fact they are likely on painkillers and may not even be completely aware of themselves.
Pretty fucking hard to hold a conversation. Generally the most you can do in these situations is talk to her to give her emotional support. Which you can also do while browsing on your phone, playing a stupid VR pokemon game to pass the potential days you'll be there.
>>344536851
google epidural my man.
>>344537075
Even with drugs to numb the pain, childbirth is a fucking herculean effort. Stop being 12.
>>344533447
>Taken the craze a step too far, however, focusing on catching a low-vaile bird Pokemon Bidget as his wife gave birth in front of him
>Implying I'm not going to play on my phone while my wife is screaming and shitting the best for eight solid hours
>Implying Pidget is low value
The guy is such a numale that i wonder who the father is but all shit aside giving labor can take hours and the pics make it obvious that it was before and after
>>344538434
>>344538278
>>344537649
all these beta orbiters sucking up to women
>>344538514
>Sucking up
>explains why you aren't talking with her and playing your dumb phone game
>>344538514
I know, right? Not everyone can be an enlightened gentlemen like yourself and I good sir.
>*tips in your general direction*
So this game is only liked by normies?
Does /vp/ think this app is cool?I don't know much about pokemon. It looks kind of fun but not something I would play.
Why would a man want to ruin his life with kids?
Men don't get the hormonal spawning-craze where they absolutely must have them like women do.
>>344538646
>explains why you aren't talking with her and playing your dumb phone game
I bet my left nut that both laughed their asses off when the pidgey appeared and it lightened the mood.
>>344538729
Kids are pretty cool anon. Just because you turned into a piece of shit doesn't mean they're all bad.
>>344538729
>Why would a man want to ruin his life with kids?
Because not everyone is a underaged edgelord
>Men don't get the hormonal spawning-craze where they absolutely must have them like women do.
Except they do
>>344538729
>Why would a man want to ruin his life with kids?
Because most men are retards who think what they're told to think and like what they're told to like.
>kids are the meaning of life xD
>build a house, sire a son xD
>what are you, an edgelord? xD
If everyone did more sane, rational things than the utterly retarded ones, we'd either not exist or be colonizing space right now.
>>344533617
Nope, he fucked up, never let bitches know every minute isnt special.
>>344536083
Are you fucking retarded? You're an adult with a child and you did no research about child birth?
My cousin's wife was in labour for 36 hours. How fucking ignorant are you?
am I supposed to feel sorry for women for something they chose to put themselves through voluntarily and are enthusiastic about?
>>344536219
>works on my machine :)
Shit, you just made my day.
>>344539318
Yes because women are all special snowflakes and men are scum.
>>344539318
Not really. The one you gave a kid you're kind of expected to support by being there. It's not about pity or anything, just supporting the woman you decided to have a child with. You're having a kid together, and it's a big moment for both of you.
Assuming the kid is one being born out of a loving couple, anyway.
>>344540073
>loving couple
Awww, how cute! He still believes in those!
>>344540165
here's your (You)
>>344536083
I made all kinds of trouble at my birth so my mom was in for a couple of days.
They ended up cutting me out of her. I also nearly strangled myself with the umbilical cord, guess I didn't want to live out here.
>>344540165
They do. Child birth rate across the entire world would be a lot lower otherwise.
>>344540678
I wish my parents didn't split when I was about six or seven.
I would've loved to live in a real family, my stepfather turned out to be the worst person I've ever met in my life, yet.
>>344539135
This is unfortunately very true. Despite how much power and ability men have in general, they do literally everything they're told to do, because they were told to do it, then bash and berate other men if they don't also do it.
Wonder if that's an evolutionary follow-the-hivemind type deal.
>>344537075
>Why do women complain about childbirth then?
It's like taking a gigantic shit whilst your body is having spasms and you're worried out of your mind for your child.
Also accepting drugs during birth is fucking immoral as shit, no good woman does that unless she's having complications. Epidurals have a serious affect on the mental development of babies, often result in doctors having to pull them out with forceps which can bruise and break their bones, and lasts much longer in their system so the baby could be tripping balls for another 12 hours after birth whilst surrounded with lots of lights and noise.
>>344538710
Hard to say my m8. Depends if wandering outside at 4am catching virtual animals is normal.
>>344533617
>>344534846
beep boop logic
>>344535585
>Doesn't look like shes giving birth to me.
You see, there are these things called contractions. Women don't constantly push all the time when they're in labor.