Why the hell does Peach even love Mario?
>mute
>3 feet tall
>retarded face
>spastic as fuck
I get that he saves her regularly, but how does that warrant love? Do you kiss cops whenever they help you out?
answer's in the overalls
>>344429732
cause he's the strongest fucker in the mushroom kingdom
there's a reason he's the first called when shit goes down
What's that blue thing on his cheek?
>Peach gets pregnant and has kid with another man
>peach loves Mario
>>344430090
Why is her belly spiky?
>>344429732
Would you rather fuck a Toad?
>>344429732
because it's a video game and she was created to be his love interest. If you think there is some underlying shit here just kys
>can jump insanely high and is strong as fuck
>reincarnates after dying
>ability to eat magic mushrooms that make him grow taller
>can shoot fire out of his hands and fly
>god tier athlete at any sport he plays
there is literally nothing mario can't do
I'd question why Mario would put up with Peach if anything. No reward(s) could be worth having to bust your ass and save her every single time.
>>344430275
have you never seen bowser / bowser JR?
They have spikes on their back
>>344430603
She gives the best orgasm denial ball busting hand jobs
>>344430641
Peach wouldn't fuck a koopa tho
His height is not the only thing that grows when he gets a super mushroom.
>>344430954
Are you talking about his pernerr? His banana slamma? His shringading? His lama? His Croc?
>>344430520
You forgot his PhD.
>>344429732
As the first human she has seen since she was adopted by mushrooms, Mario is the standard model of male beauty in Peach's eyes.
She looks like she's eating him.
Also, GODDAMN LOOK AT ALL THAT FUCKING ALIASING HOLY SHIT THAT IS UGLY AS HELL
>>344429732
>saved the world(s) multiple times
>rescued her multiple times
>has a doctorate in medicine
>race car driver
>pro athlete in numerous sports
>kind hearted
>doesn't have a mushroom on his head
Why WOULDN'T you want to bang mario
>>344435024
Miyamoto confirmed that Mario does not have a medical license.
Friendly reminder that Peach makes cake for Mario because she has no idea what sex even is. Sex education in the Mushroom Kingdom consisted of a lot of science talk about spores being carried under damp leaves by the wind. She often spends hours looking at the skin on the back of her hand, wondering when she will finally make spores of her own and become a mother.
>>344435127
I'm sure that the spinoffs are pretty much noncanon but that would have ruined the joke
If you count Mario 3, and I don't know why you wouldn't, Mario has rescued more kings and sultans then he has rescued Peach.
>>344436062
Is it his fault that Peach is always in the last castle he checks?
>>344429732
>Do you kiss cops whenever they help you out?
Yes. That's just common courtesy.
>>344435281
makes perfect sense desu
>>344429732
He gets the job done well and is near superhuman
Mario isnt the one losing fights
>>344429732
He's a very able man and pretty much the most heroic dude in her kingdom. Any woman in Peach's place would be crazy not to put out for Mario.
>>344436435
>he doesn't get the sticker badge with "Policeman's Pal" on it first
WHAT A FAGGOT
>>344429732
Mario's strong as fuck and pretty capable at doing what he does
>>344430603
She gives good head
>>344437060
They just give it out for the courtesy kiss? The fuck man. Round here they only give it out after the courtesy blowjob given for hostage rescues.
But Peach's heart only belongs to Andy.
>heroic and brave
>devoted to her safety
>confident and competent
>incredible strength and stamina
>regularly defeats and humiliates men who antagonize Peach
Mario's a total stud.
>>344435024
Luigi has a bigger heart than Mario.
Mario is hot headed and always angry too
>>344429732
mario isn't mute though
>>344437952
>Skinny Mario
Delete this
>>344438107
He's not 3 feet tall either.
Mario is prime marriage material.
>>344429732
>3 feet tall
Yes, and he still is twice as tall as the rest of the mushroom Kingdom.
>People only assume Mario is 3 feet tall because they mistakenly assume that Peach isn't 12 feet tall.
>>344439502
THATS MAMA LUIGI TO YOU MARIO
>>344439502
stop
>>344429732
>has known Peach since childhood
>strong as a motherfucker
>highly intelligent, no formal medical training but still runs a medical clinic somehow
>capable tradesman
>self-employed, runs numerous businesses
>intrepid adventurer
>good at sports
>can grow a mustache
He's a man's man.
