>march 2004
>I'm five years old going on six
>living in a pretty Christian household
>Mom asks "So, what game do you want for your Birthday?"
>"Well, I kinda was thinking of sonic adventure dx"
>then remember the promo video of the game in Sonic Mega Collection
>remember Gamma with a gun on his arm and realize I might get in shit for that
>"Nevermind, I want sonic heroes instead"
>get Sonic Heroes for birthday and play it for a while
>Play Team Sonic's story
>Switch to Knuckles
>"SHIT! ROCK! UGH!"
>In my head "Is he cussing?"
>Luckily parents are in another room and don't hear it
>Later, play Sonic Heroes in the living room while my parents and my grandmother are playing Tong-its
>Play Team Rose's story instead
>It may be girly but at least there's no cussing
>Boss battle against Team Sonic
>After beating them, Amy says "Sonic, let's go on our honeymoon!"
>My mom overhears and says "Anon, is this appropriate for your age?"
>At that age, I didn't know that honeymoons involved married couples fornicating
>Team Rose's story was easy so I could breeze through it in a few hours
>Reach the haunted castle stage
>"anon, are you sure this won't give you nightmares?"
>Finally make it to final fortress
>Suddenly Amy says "Oh my God"
>Mom gives me a weird look
>"Hey, maybe you should take a break from that game"
>After that, my parents only allowed me to play Sonic Heroes if they were around.
I still have no idea how they allowed Amy to say "Oh my God" during Final Fortress.
>>343599461
>I still have no idea how they allowed Amy to say "Oh my God" during Final Fortress.
Pretty sure even atheists say that.
You're parents sound like faggots.
2/10 maybe you'll get a decent amount of replies
>christians
lol
>march 2004
>five years old going on six
Aren't you a bit young to be browsing 4chanI don't care if it's bait, ban this faggot
>>343599461
>>march 2004
>>I'm five years old going on six
>>343599972
5+12=17, if OP has early birthday he's 18
>>343599668
Here's the thing, it was rated E for Everyone. If it was T or even E10 but this was designed with children in mind, and the localization team must at least been aware that one of the Ten Commandments was never to say the Lord's name in vain. Keep in mind, my Mom wouldn't let me watch Zoey 101 because of Jamie Lynn Spears becoming pregnant. I was scared to watch the Pokémon anime around with my parents because Brock would always be infatuated with women and I was scared my Mom would think that I'll become overinfatuated with girls in real life because of Brock.
>>343599956
>>343599848
>>343599972
I was born March 1998. I'm 18
>>343599683
this
lala prancing homos
>>343599461
I finish the job that the they won't do. When the system deals with scum they go down but I make sure they stay down.
>>343600060
>and the localization team must at least been aware that one of the Ten Commandments was never to say the Lord's name in vain.
My god who gives a fuck about that
I'm just lurking here to see if someone dumps fucked up porn to corrupt OP's innocent god-fearing mind
>>343600060
Jesus christ your parents have ruined you.
>>343600060
god damn, are you autistic?
>>343600227
>>343599461
>>343600194
I went to Catholic school all my life. In elementary school, we weren't allowed to say "Oh my gosh" because we might slip up and say "Oh my God". We weren't even allowed to say "Holy cow" or its variants because we shouldn't call things holy that aren't holy.
>>343600304
My parents sent me to get assessed. It came up that I was on the spectrum. In order to complete the process and to be fully acknowledged as having Aspergers, I had to get my blood taken, probably in order for researches to find some data in the population of autistic people. My mom refused because she believed I was just going through an adolescent phase and growing up, she was right and I really wasn't on the spectrum. At times, I thought of how I might have benefited from autismbux but then again, being labeled with Aspergers might screw me over with the people I meet professionally in jobs.
>>343600663
Hey anon, are you single?
>>343600663
Congrats OP you and your family are retarded. I know this is a bait thread but I can't resist.
>>343600060
>the localization team must at least been aware that one of the Ten Commandments...
Kek, max autism. Majority of people don't give a shit about the Ten Commandments.
>>343600338
Who draws these, I've seen a few of them. Do you know where I can see the rest?
Another story guys:
>On my way home on an airplane
>Play Animal Crossing: Wild World on my DS
>One of the neighbour animals was a penguin named Gwen
>She was my favourite villager and I kinda played the game exclusively for her
>I got really into Gwen almost to - nay - actually going to the point of roleplaying a relationship with her
>In real life, I developed an obsession (or demoted interested for a more socially acceptable term) with penguins and would always talk about my love for penguins and collected penguin merchandise
>Sent her various letters RPing my love for her
>On the plane, I was writing a message on the town bulletin declaring my love saying something like "Hello fellow villagers, I must declare my love to Gwen" or something like that
>As soon as I'm done with the message, I look over and my Mom is looking at my screen.
>She doesn't say anything or even acknowledge it at all ever but I know what she's seen.
I used to roleplay as if I were Phyllis, Pete and Pelly about their love triangle and post it on the bulletin boards as if I were those characters. I tried RPing with another squirrel character like I did with Gwen when I reset the game, but it wasn't the same.
>>343600057
Take notes anons.
This man is living proof of what happens to kids when they are raised in a hyper christian household.
I'm a a follower of Gods word but even I'm not even half as retarded as you to take every little thing in life out of context.
>>343601252
Nah I don't know actually.
>>343599683
>>343599841
>>343600194
>>343600271
>>343600304
>>343600764
>>343600815
>>343601156
>>343601539
Spot the virgins
>>343601875
>>343601378
now this is autism
can we get an old fuck's /v/?
hate all these damn kids. guess it's time to move onto reddit...
Here's another one
>got Nintendogs the Christmas of 2006 or 2007
>I've been having a blast with it
>talked to my best friend at the time
>he was "that kid"
>told me that your dogs can die if you get the alien and play with it
>the alien kills your dog
>like it would graphically murder your dog on screen
>later play Nintendogs
>pick up the weird alien while strolling with my dogs
>get scared shitless because I was worried that the alien might actually kill my dogs
>sell the alien right away
Keep in mind that this was also an E-rated game and that I wasn't expecting something so scary and violent but I believed him.
>>343601786
Who is that in the album?
>>343602316
This is the future you chose
>christians
>>343603589
What's wrong with being Christian?
>>343603649
>What's wrong with being Christian?
>>343601378
>On my way home on an airplane
>Play Fallout 4 on my Alienware laptop
>One of the settlers was a whore named Todd
>She was my favourite settler and I kinda played the game exclusively for her
>I got really into Todd almost to - nay - actually going to the point of roleplaying a relationship with her
>In real life, I developed an obsession (or demoted interested for a more socially acceptable term) with Fallout 4 and would always talk about my love for Fallout 4 and collected Fallout 4 merchandise
>Sent her various letters RPing my love for her
>On the plane, I was writing a message on the town bulletin declaring my love saying something like "Hello fellow settlers, I must declare my love to Todd" or something like that
>As soon as I'm done with the message, I look over and my Mom is looking at my screen.
>She doesn't say anything or even acknowledge it at all ever but I know what she's seen.
I used to roleplay as if I were Cait, Macready and Nick Valentine about their love triangle and post it on the bulletin boards as if I were those characters. I tried RPing with another settler like I did with Todd when I reset the game, but it wasn't the same.
Fixed it for you now buy my game.
>>343603713
I'm not the one using memes as a means to avoid logical conversation.
>>343602762
You are actually retarded, please be copy pasta
>>343603858
>I'm not the one using memes as a means to avoid logical conversation.
what a waste of my time and dumbest shit i have ever heard. your life is a pathetic lie and you'll see hell right before you die and be nothing. thread abandoned.
>>343604280
>He entered this thread just to post that he's leaving it
Damn...
>>343599461
>>After that, my parents only allowed me to play Sonic Heroes if they were around.
Don't really get what difference that makes.
>>343600663
Reading your other posts (particularly the Animal Crossing one), there's a pretty good chance that you are, in fact, autistic. Sorry buddy.
>>343604625
Supervision. They wanted to know firsthand if the game was promoting sinful values, which was ironic because the game was about friendship and teamwork and all this gay shit.
>>343599461
dude your parents are fucking faggots. im sorry anon
>>343603649
read the OP
>>343605490
t. /r/atheism browser
>>343600060
>I was scared to watch the Pokémon anime around with my parents because Brock would always be infatuated with women and I was scared my Mom would think that I'll become overinfatuated with girls in real life because of Brock.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
>>343600663
>she was right and I really wasn't on the spectrum.
You are, and I don't even need to be a professional to tell that.
How'd your parents react to big fat bat tats?
>>343601378
>but i'm not autistic i swear
>kids like OP can vote.
>>343606291
It's funny you mention her. My parents never really cared for Rouge's design and neither did I. I mean, I thought that she was attractive, but I didn't consider her any more sexual than Amy or Cream. I did however got myself into looking at comics online like Palcomix and I was so glad that their Sonic XXX series shipped my OTP Sonouge (SonicXRouge).
>>343605625
>believing in deities
>>343600060
Taking the lords name in vain, what does that even mean anyway? Catholic here and I don't even know the implications of the phrase because to me taking his name in vain is to use his name for something against what is taught to be what's right and good. Saying oh my god to me does nothing of the sort
>>343606813
you're not cool
I believe in Dragonball because book
>>343607356
sounds like a legit religion to me, at least I know who made the book
>>343606649
but the one true ship is rouge x knuckles anon. Don't deny it.
>>343606649
SonicXRouge is the second best pairing afterRougeXMyself
>this entire thread
Christianity/Islam/Buddhism is so fucking boring.
At least pick a cool religion like Hellenism or Norse.
>>343607713
>paganshit
ahahahah
>>343607787
Hey watch out or else Zeus will bolt your ass
>>343607713
>pagan
One day kuffar
>>343607787
>"pagan"
>applies to religions without gods
>implying most religions have gods and not just the insinuation of one
>>343607140
I used to be Catholic and my mother was really touchy about that shit. I think it's less about people actually trying to obey the rules of the religion they chose and more about crazy people trying to force their views down anyone's throat they can. And who better than your own children?
>>343608075
I never got why it's still not illegal to force your child to your religion.
Growing up with a predestined religion you follow blindly really fucks you up
How does it happen that ultra conservitive Christians shit out autists but ultra conservitive Muslims shit out warriors of Allah?
>>343599461
>I didn't know that honeymoons involved married couples fornicating
>Married
>Fornicating
Of all the things you said, this triggers me the most for some reason. Learn what words mean, ya dope.
>>343608349
>being a mudslime sympathizer
>>343608338
children = near property
>>343601252
>>343601554
That's Plague of Gripes, bruh
>>343608474
>not supporting Hamas
Jew
>>343608474
Fuck you, infidel dog
>>343608595
I am now a #KurdKuffar
>>343608646
>Hamas
>Kurdish
Im talking to a fucking American
>>343608708
I was just trying to say something catchy.
>>343608349
Because crazy Christian parents are people with ego problems or NPD who create other human beings just to dominate them. Crazy Muslim parents think anyone who doesn't think their beliefs are 100% true are worse than Hitler so they see it as just, so their kids grow up seeing murdering those shitheads who dare disobey Allah the same way we see curing cancer or some shit.
God could be in this very thread lurking RIGHT NOW
>>343608824
he is. pic related
>>343608824
God, if you're real, suck my fat nigger dick. I have a 9.
>>343608867
*throws masterball*
>>343599683
this
>>343608909
>>343608941
>catching a pokemon that has to use their item slot to change to a useful type.
>>343608991
that is a nice one
>>343609049
lol, look at this dumb nigger who never heard of Extremekiller Arceus
>>343609049
>not just having him for the novelty
>implying items matter in single player
>>343609049
Arceus should beam your ass
>>343609135
cant believe this sort of meta topical bullshit got in, its not even funny on its own it needs context and when you have the context its just pitiful
>>343609135
I also like my fun five
>>343599461
>5 years old
>Sonic Adventure DX
>>343609242
What's the context?
>>343608867
Did Arceus only build one or two regions or did he make all of them?
>>343609437
fucking for favors
>>343609242
I'm not really into anime, but I totally feel the guys who go "subs > dubs" because of shit like this. Why does Japan get this treatment while other countries get normal translations? Other language translators do their jobs while Japanese -> English guys either censor fucking everything like 4Kids or insert "EPIC MEMES xD" everywhere like Mighty No. 9.
Seriously, someone enlighten me. Why does that shit fly?
>>343609437
Gamergate
>>343609538
Marketers in America know the audience is stupid so they get away with it
>>343609437
The context is some dumb fag put together two unrelated references to make his hurr gamergate image and Zoe Quinn got personally offended by Nintendo's hatred of women, send patreon bux
>>343609350
Anyone else get stuck at amy because their tv had no color?
>>343599461
Pretty typical shit you have to deal with when you have Christian parents. I grew up in evangelical circles, thankfully our household was fairly liberal when it came to entertainment. Probably because my dad is a convert and his love for action movies and rock music never left him when he joined the Jesus club. Pretty much the only thing that was forbidden was porn, not that it stopped me from loading up titty softcore on 56k as soon as I figured it out. A lot of my friends from the church had far stricter rules, like fighting games banned, and the like. Which meant I was a popular guy at some point because over at our house they could play all those verboten games.
Not surprisingly, once the teenage rolled over with the sudden influx of reality TV, MTV and nigger culture from America, pretty much all my Christian friends went full heathen, picked up smoking, going to bars, doing their everything to rebel against the oppression they'd been under. I was the only one who just stayed home and played vidya, and was a good little Christian still for many years to come.
>>343609764
I would just walk home and watch TV, fuck Amy.
>>343609506
>>343609549
>>343609683
Oh so it's Zoë being a self important cock and thinking that Gamergate is the only time in history that "gate" has been put at the end of a word to describe a scandal?
>>343609850
i also got stuck at big the cat, but i could solve that by reading the hints at the select screen.
>>343609830
Cool story bro
>>343609882
She didn't make the image but yes. According to Nintendo of America the second references Watergate and the first references Mario Party 7
>>343603780
10/10 post, anon!
>>343607926
>>343608349
>>343608474
>>343608595
>>343608646
>>343608708
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjn6MbgjNPc
At the age of 5 my parents bought my brother and I a PS1 along with Resident Evil and Namco Museum Volume 1 for Christmas.
They even let me buy Metal Gear Solid with my own Money on my 6th birthday because even they knew that I knew that it was only a video game and nothing was real and to never repeat what was displayed or said because even I could understand what was real and what wasn't.
Sorry you had shitty parents man
>>343608568
Oh shit nice I love that Chrono Trigger animation.
Anime never ever
>>343609665Is any first world country more of a disappointment than mine? :(
>>343610067
canada.
>>343609942
Well I'm 31 now and tired of games but I still have the habit of spending the weekends sitting in front of a monitor, so why not burn some time by shitposting?
>>343610042
>linking your shit redneck videos
Please stop
>>343610179
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EnfhwPahsg
>>343603780
source this shit
>>343610235
>gmod
This is an 18+ site
>>343609967
Well pack it in boys. Looks like this case is solved.
>>343610369
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbMLphi7HQU
>>343610397
Was it really coincidence?
>>343610541
Yes. Those specific moments happen at completely different times in the game. That's what makes it funnier because Zoe instantly assumes GG. Not everything revolves around the internet mang.
>>343610464
That was ok
>>343610689
Well I still wont "pack it in" you fucking faggot.
>>343602316
/vr/ is a thing.
Do you mean something else?
>>343610936
That wasn't me dipstick. Go cry to your mother.
>>343600060
>Zoey 101
>>343610281
Gotta buy Fallout 4 and Skyrim remastered for that dlc.
YOU DID BUY FALLOUT 4 RIGHT?!?!
>>343608867
>pokeshit
>>343599461
Here's your reply.
>>343611346
um, yes. can I get a source
>>343606649
>Palcomix
>>343599461
>March 2004
>I'm 11
>I beat all the 3D sonic games, Heroes is the newest shit
>Can't wait to play Chao Garden
>Can't wait for more speed stages, and the occasional tresure hunt
>Entire game is shitty team based garbage
>No Chao garden
I guess I'm glad Sonic started being shit, as I might have grown up to be a sonic autist if I had kept playing them.
>>343611346
Wait, remastered? Isn't that just Skyrim you're reselling me that I actually never bought but pirated?
>>343602762
>>343601378
Please be a copypasta
>>343611606
Well anon it's actually in the game.
BUY MY GAME AGAIN ELSE I'M BLOWING YOUR HEAD OFF!
>>343612268
NOT SO FAST BEN
>2004 i was a junior in highschool
Jesus thanks for making me feeel old OP
Asshole
>>343608349
Not remotely true. Worked at a cinema in Whitechapel for six months and there was one ultra-conservative muslim guy there who was an absolute turbo-autist.
Hearty keks were had one time when one of our jewish colleagues mentioned how it was cold, this guy's mental filter failed him yet again and he told him that what he needed was a nice oven to warm him up.
>>343599461
I think they would've had an issue with a fat grown up cat hanging out with very young girls.
Op your mother was a fucking cunt and you should have been the one to kill her what you just described is abuse
>>343612339
IT'S TODD YOU GODDAMN SYNTH
I actually love this Todd because Dirty Harry is the shit
>>343612737
Fuck your game todd! I tried climbing the mountain and there was an invisible wall.
>toddposting
More autstic than the OP
>>343612592
I wish Blaze the Cat was made a few years earlier to make the team feel a little less weird. The fact two little girls are spending time with a grown man like that is unnerving.
>>343607171
neither are you.
>>343601378
Imagine an Animal Crossing game where you could actually date the villagers.
>>343612946
Well brother synths like you don't deserve to climb that mountain.
>>343612963
Go plant a tree and watch it grow Molyneux
>>343613285
Fallout 4 has that my nigga all you have to do is buy the season pass too.
>>343613838
>>343613580
I wonder who's behind these posts
>>343614039
Obviously it's the enemy stand user known as Molyneux slandering my good name with the power of his stand Fable
You did buy my game right?
>>343614523
Fuck off faggot, I know it's you
>>343614638
>Whoooooooooooooo?
>>343601554
MY EYELASHES, NO TOM!
>>343616104
What? I haven't watched Tom and Jerry in years so I'm out of touch.
>>343600060
Holy fuck. I'm sorry anon. Your parents never gave you a real chance at life.
>>343611326
I'm sorry you regret your choice in not impregnating her Dan.
>>343599461
>mfw I roleplayed on Sonic Adventure 2 Battle's VS mode with a girl
>We actually roleplayed in almost any 2 player game we had on the gamecube
>I still talk to her to this day
Too bad she lives in Texas now and we are half a day apart from each other. If not I'd fucking love to hang out with her again
>>343599461
not you but I know the pain of overly conservative parents
>go to /v/
>have the kind of dogmatic bullshit it took decades for you to get away from shoved down your throat by /pol/ anyway
t-thanks
