>Tetris, the 1980s video game about stacking blocks, is being made into not one, but three films, according to
>“The story we conceived is so big,” said Kasanoff. “This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”
>“We’re not going to have blocks with feet running around the movie,” he said. “But it’s great that people think so. It sets the bar rather low!”
>No casting has been announced for the project as yet, though it’s understood that Kasanoff is looking to shoot in China and is planning to incorporate local stars.
Don't mind me, just the best vidya movie of all time coming through.
>>343172198
>The protagonist waits 3 movies for a line block
Damn...
>>343172198
This is satire, right?
>>343172257
If they can make a Battleship movie featuring Rihanna, they can do anything.
>>343172558
>forgetting the greatest movie ever featuring Rock'em Sock'em Robots
>>343172257
http://variety.com/2016/film/news/tetris-movie-trilogy-1201805092/
Variety is also reporting it and they don't do satire or joke articles or anything.
>>343172558
>>343172678
I actually liked Battleship and Real Steel.
>>343172198
Is this gonna be like Pixels?
>>343172198
Is this going to be a film about the creation of Tetris ? I assumed it would be like the social network.
I hope there's a sexy girl tetris in this
>not a tetralogy
One fucking job
Did Uwe Bol ever get caught?
>>343172749
Real Steel was actually comfy af I thought, and pretty entertaining.
>Xbox 720 ads in the massive arena
Kek
>>343172749
What's the appeal? I guess Reel Steel can masquerade as a movie about robots for kids and Hugh Jackman but Battleship is just plain stupid.
>>343172558
>>343172678
These make sense though. Battleship is just a navel battle, and Rock'em Sock'em Robots are about robots fighting each other. What is Tetris?
Are they spaceships? Are they people? What's the conflict? When a row vanishes is it a good thing or a bad thing?
>>343172891
Battleship was schlock. Glorious, glorious schlock. Professional filmmakers and actors tried to make a serious movie that ended up being unintentionally hilarious and that's why I love it.
>>343172558
I never actually twigged on that it was suppose to be a movie about the board game, I just thought it was some dumb movie about battleships.
>>343172798
>>343172198
>not for financial reasons
>“This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”
I wonder how long people will still believe straight up lies. What gain does someone have from making a product other than money?
>artistic vision
Come on man it's fucking Tetris.
This shit is gonna try to lure normies yet again and fail really fucking hard which will inevitably lead into sequels getting scrapped.
>>343172198
The movie that will reunite families
Start wars
Do what he Matrix should have done
Change the world
Oh wait it's fucking Tetris
>>343173198
Do normies even care about Tetris?
Whats with movies being made around games that have no story. I dont understand that. Its always "retro" games too, I dont think younger kids will care about such movies and older peopel just roll their eyes
>theres a tetris movie
I mean, fucking seriously? Of all the games to make a movie with, Tetris?
>>343172852
Can still be a tetrilogy.
>>343172558
>>343172678
This is different. You can write a story about war ships and fighting robots. How the fuck do you adapt Tetris into a story? Will it be about the Soviet Union? Will they try to make it a serious cold war thriller and then all of a sudden it starts raining colored blocks? There's no way to include the gameplay of Tetris and make a serious movie at the same time. They'd have to abandon everything about Tetris in order to make a movie around it.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jun/28/tetris-films-trilogy
>No casting has been announced for the project as yet,
>though it’s understood that Kasanoff is looking to shoot in China
>and is planning to incorporate local stars.
lol
>>343173284
No, but that's exactly my point. Producers consistently targeting the wrong audience (mainstream) happens way too often and just look at the results.
>>343173162
They even "modernized" the game to look like the movie.
>>343173329
>no pitfall movie
I'd actually watch that.
>>343172864
Nope, still at large and wanted in every country on earth for multiple rapes.
If the bad guy isn't the S piece it's shit.
I like the first 2 resident evil movies. Fight me.
>>343173472
>movie edition
you are an idiot
>>343173448
Uh...they could make it like Pixels. Yeah, I got nothin'.
>>343173172
Mmm, just look at those straight lines and corners.
>>343173453
>the comments
>what about Frogger?
Actually yeah, Frogger would make a good movie. The journey of one little frog and his will to survive.
>>343173632
It's real.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi3nXv95WYE
>>343172257
not at all. its going to be a retro-futuristic war and peace. in all seriousness this could be the best videogame movie ever made, by a large margin.
>>343173172
I'd rather have box. I like 'em thick.
>>343173727
the point is that's a MOVIE EDITION of the game, of course it looks different idiot
>>343173284
>>343173465
Literally any 20+ normie knows about Tetris.
>>343172678
Hey now, I shamelessly enjoyed Real Steel
>China
it's some horseshit money laundering scheme
the trilogy is to make it sound huge and request more money
>>343173845
They know about it but don't care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhwGEa7507git's fake
>>343173613
The movie was a fun and silly ride at first then it went full retard with all the cameos, psychic powers, and clones.
>>343173841
The movie is still dumb and this edition has no right to exist.
The time of vidyakino is upon us. My body is ready.
>>343173448
The making of Tetris maybe?
>>343174012
This movie series and re4 killed the franchise. What were they thinking?
Honestly the only good thing that came from it was the merchant
>>343172198
>“We’re not going to have blocks with feet running around the movie,” he said.
Is this the video game movie thread? What does /v/ think of the Angry Birds movie?
>>343174191
I don't think you could get a trilogy out of that.
>>343173613
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHbOc5ii3w
They're pretty great.
So it's just gonna be 3 long movies about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8 ?
>>343174330
Felt like a direct-to-video kids movie with alarmingly good CGI that makes it look like a real movie. Boring mostly, weak characters and the plot just scuttles along quickly when they remember they only have 20 minutes left of the movie. Better than I thought it would be to be honest.
Well
Tetris is the best game ever, but I don't think this is necessary.
>>343173481
>Pitfall movie starring Jack Black
Hopefully it's like the Tic Tac Toe movie
>asking a question in the headline/tagline
>>343174484
I was just rewatching that.
It's better than anything they could put out.
>>343174330
Let's just say that it overstays it's welcome.
Too much stupid scenes that aren't funny.
It's like a lot of shorts sewn togheter in a shitty plot.
>>343174664
the urinating bit in the trailer was so long and uncomfortable that it was the chief reason I haven't bothered to watch it; don't really feel up to listening a bird pee as a joke for a full half minute
>>343174218
It's funny how the series slowly became like the movies. Amazingly, there's still one more "Resident Evil" movie left called "The Final Chapter" coming in 2017.
>The first movie came to theaters 14 years ago
>>343173448
>>343174191
>>343173636
If they try and put the gameplay of tetris in a grimdark serious tone it'll be the most pretentious shit on the planet.
>>343174012
Is that fucking Leon? Holy shit
They just needed to hire a Westlife member or DiCaprio
>>343174651
>tfw no Bad Dudes: the movie
>>343174330
Redpilled as fuck.
>>343174892
Go look up who Barry is.They also mostly get killed off 20 minutes after their first introduction
>>343174912
you might've just come up with my favorite post on /v/ ever
>>343174975
congrats, the movie has allegories to modern humanitarian crises. It's still a shitty movie.
>>343175028
thx anon
>>343174330
>the angry birds movie made several hundred million dollars and turned a profit
The fucking Chinese are making cinema even worse than it currently is. They flock to every shit movie that bombed in the US
>>343172558
They could have cut her out of the movie just fucking fine.
Also Battleship was entertaining. But her scenes and them refurbishing a WW2 Battleship was extremely cheesy.
>>343172678
Now this I had high hopes for but got bored half way into it and just wanted it to end.
>>343174012
I thought Mila was less flat, guess I was wrong
I'm announcing it here:
L-shape is best piece
>>343175430
inb4loss
>>343175152
>SJWs being retarded and destructive is a humanitarian crisis
>>343175430
But "these clowns" are two of the best pieces to stick with a L peice
>>343175603
The comic is obviously made by a woman. The joke is no one is good enough for her.
>>343175603
Exactly, he always sees them.
>>343175603
they just wanna slot in
get it
>>343175603
They want a three-way.
![Captain N The Game Master 2x04 [P2G] The Trouble With Tetris.avi_snapshot_03.30_[2015.05.14_20.06.15].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/WW4sozO.jpg "Captain N The Game Master 2x04 [P2G] The Trouble With Tetris.avi_snapshot_03.30_[2015.05.14_20.06.15].jpg")
Captain N already did it
Twice.
>>343172770
That movie needs to be wiped from the face of the earth
>>343177194
Humanity has officially lost the right to live.
>>343172749
Battleship was famously wank. Kys senpai
>>343172198
Line up for a blockbuster to end all blockbusters.
>>343177624I stole this joke from another anon by the way.
>>343177693
You mean you pirated it.
>>343177194
I want to Earth to be invaded just so we can get told how retarded we are.
>>343174012
jesus christ.
>>343172198
>(((Kasanoff)))
>>343173448
>unused nuclear bombs must be droppe' 'safely' into giant pit containers
>the nuclear bombs are all from 1960s-1980s, they are all different shapes and sizes
>they come in hot and quick and if theres any extra space in the pit that you dont use the ones on top could fall onto that and blow up
>we need a hero
>>343174191
That would actually be a good movie.
Instead we're going to get Transformers with L-blocks.
>>343179029
Either that or aliens in tetromino shaped spaceships.
>>343178687
That made me laugh. This would be great.
I seriously hope the first fails so badly so the others will not be made. The director commentary explaining the other movies would be great
>>343172198
What the fuck, I read that yesterday and thought it was just a shitpost.
>>343177483
liking trash is okay, I´m sure your mother loves you too.
>>343175430
but the L-piece is a militant homosexual, everything else but another L-shape is inferior in his eyes.
There is nothing worse than an arrogant minority.
>>343179153
>This would be great.
Another movie with shoehorned nuclear weapons, soooo original.
>>343173448
Tetris is just an analogy for the film. Really it's about a cyber punk future where people (tetrominoes) are controlled by a shadowy government (the player) and are forced to fall into line (gamepaly), and are then eliminated (the player's ultimate goal).
This film will explore the dynamic of how the tetriminoes (the people) feel about being controlled, manipulated, and eliminated, and the trilogy will ultimately see them rising up against the invisible hand.
>>343172198
>Larry Kasanoff
dear god, Foodfight 2 is upon us
>>343173448
>There's no way to include the gameplay of Tetris and make a serious movie at the same time.
I refer you to the Chimera Ant arc of Hunter X Hunter.
>>343181161
That'd be p gud
>>343181403
Eh, excuse me?..
Also, as i said on the blockbuster thread the only way this would work is if the movies are based on the jaleco tetris plus games. Plus 2 to be exact.
Two explorers travelling the world in search of treasures solving tetris puzzles in the most dangerous temples, a la indiana jones.
>>343172941
In tetris you are actually an esper who must clear the sky from the block things
>>343177194
I remember reading some interview with Ewan McGregor after Trainspotting came out about how big budget movies were morally offensive because so much money is regularly pissed away, instead of being used to feed the hungry, or house the homeless or cure cancer or w/e. Then he did the Star Wars prequels.
>>343172198
You people know who Kasanoff is, right?
He is fucking insane. That's what he is.
>>343182419
Its not unknown that some of the actors immediately signed on to work on Star Wars without reading the script, but they couldnt back out after, Liam Neeson even flat out admitted to this. They wanted to be part of something big, and noone though Star Wars of all things could be so fucking bad, dont hold it against them.
>>343172678
Real Steel was actually not based on the toys, but on a short story.
>>343175535
It's a reference to the european refugee crises, you retard.
>>343182419
What an asshole.
>>343181161
Fuck you im capping this
>>343175315
>them refurbishing a WW2 Battleship was extremely cheesy
It was great, watching a load of old men murder aliens via Battleship.
>>343172678
I thought Real Steel was a pretty good film. Watched it like 5 times.
>>343174873
The only good thing out of that movie was the laser room.
And capcom liked it so much it not only appeared in RE4 but also in DMC4
>>343183018
the picture mentions SJWs you retard
>Trilogy
>Not a tetrology
>>343172678
>Yare Yare Daze
>>343175603
>>343175794
>>343175843
The joke is that the last two want a threesome with her.
>>343173448
Just make it be like The Wizard and have characters that have a passion for the game or how the game effects their lives.
>>3431721
Kasanoff? As in "Foodfight" & "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" Kasanoff?
Uh-oh...
>>343182419
Oh, please. At that time, there were no Star Wars prequels. Star Wars had not yet had that bullshit happen to it. Who wouldn't have immediately signed up to be in a new Star Wars movie? How could it have possibly been bad?
Then it was.
>>343183720
>another movie with an autist as MC
great
better would be Yugioh but with Tetris
>>343173329
Stuff like Tetris is universally known, but still feels kinda fringe because no one actually plays it anymore. In other words, it's the perfect hipster bait. Hipsters these days love to latch on to anything that is approachable, but still far enough removed from the modern mainstream to make them seem unique.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
>>343172678
kek, my cousin went to school with the kid from that movie.
>>343172678
No, that was BvS
>>343174012
This looks like a porn parody.
>>343174330
Preachy as fuck and this is coming from someone who agrees with the message.
They made Clue a movie and that's an all time classic.
>>343172198
>trailers have been mostly positive
>the fan base is huge
>hollywood still hasn't released a qt ODST kino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRMUYpH7bQk
>>343183818
I liked the prequels.
The original trilogy are just 80s sci-fi action movies with characters that I found boring. The political stuff in the prequels interested me.
>>343182720
I thought it was based on a twilight zone episode.
>>343177194
Sony Pictures is run by retarded chimpanzees
>>343184714
>Peter Jackson dropped out of the Halo movie
>Was basically forced into doing the Hobbit
>STILL NO FUCKING MORTAL ENGINES NEWS
peter i get you're a fucking mess but come on buddy
>>343185290
The Twilight Zone episode was based on a short story.
>>343173448
Is there any chance this is a biopic about how Tetris' actual fucking history, and how it was developed and distributed? Because I don't think even equating Tetris to ending the Cold War would take up 6 hours of screentime.
>>343185690
That would make sense then
>>343174191
>>343179029
You can cover the making of Tetris in less than 5 minutes. It's a very simple and unremarkable story.
I see everything is falling into place.
>>343183801
>>343183801
The guy has the weirdest track record. He's directed some pretty decent and good movies, but he's also directed truly awful movies as well.
I don't know how to feel about this. It can either be the worst video game movie of all time or the greatest.
Anyone here ever watch From Russia With Love? Not the James Bond.
>making a tetris movie
>not making it a docudrama about all the issues surrounding the licensing
>>343187979
I still want to see a documentary around the whole "Edge" trademark.
>the reason alot of games couldnt use the word "edge" in their title is because someone claimed the word and wanted royalties from anyone who use the word in their game, this includes and is not limited to indie games, where he sued a mobile phone developer fo not submittng to his demands, and calling their game a sequel to one of his old as fuck pixel games that never took off and paying him 60% of royalties
>this is the reason Soul Calibur changed its name, and even mispelt "caliber" so as to avoid someone trying to own that word too
Look up Tim Langdell and have a laugh.
>>343184286
How was he?
>>343188469
Well its safe to use it now as of 3 years ago.
>>343173448
>>343186159
It's going to be about different groups of people. They're going to wear different colour shirts. It's gonna be about them coming together. It's gonna be about revolution.
>too big to fit
Just like an "L" block...
>>343189537
>Actually tried to tackle EA over Mirrors Edge claiming that HE came up with the name and that he should get royalties
>Attacking videogame devil cabal and expecting to win
Its over now but it was going on for quite some time up until 3 years ago and fucked over alot of games. Some games flat out cancelled over it, nothing big but thats someones work going down the drain.
There was a thing where he was trying to get royalties of some little game with Edge in the title and he would drop his lawyers notice to them on Fridays and not respond throughout the week to whatever the developers said, and only on Fridays, because lawyers werent available on weekends and the developers hes accosting cant seek legal help and put together a case in that time to compete in the case.
>>343188469
>trademarking the word 'edge'
That's so EDGY!
>>343184714
they missed the sweetspot
a good one would still do well but it won't have the hype halo had
>>343177254
along with adam sandler
every single picture of him from the last ten years, he looks worse and worse, like his awfulness is devouring him from the inside
>>343172864
https://youtu.be/qQJwEAqzFs4
>Wake the fuck up! Iron Man is not even existing!"
>>343173068
man I'm glad RLM finally commented on how completely misused the term schlock is. retards nowadays call every bad film "schlock" after they watched a couple half-in-the-bag episodes and every comment section seems to have people spamming the term incorrectly
>>343173453
>though it’s understood that Kasanoff is looking to shoot in China
can't wait for china to falsify more box office records so they can claim every major film released there is guaranteed to make hundreds of millions of dollars, ensuring they are catered to by the international market more often
we'll all be speaking chinese in 20 years at this rate
>>343173613
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J58VPpPrmQU
i still can't believe how fucking lazy they got. to the point where they just had the actors go through the exact motions from game cutscenes.wesker's actor even does the fucking head tilt at being tackled, just like when chris tackled him in RE5. so it's obvious they had the actors watch the cutscene a bunch of times and said "do EXACTLY this, the gamurs will love this 'homage'!"
![threads-nuclear-war-1984-fake-documentary[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VZWKd8y.jpg "threads-nuclear-war-1984-fake-documentary[1].jpg")
>>343173448
>Will it be about the Soviet Union? Will they try to make it a serious cold war thriller and then all of a sudden it starts raining colored blocks?
It's just going to be a remake of Threads, but with Tetris blocks.
>>343185081
A political thriller in the starwars setting could work, but not only is that not what anyone wanted, the prequels rely too heavily on everyone being fucking retarded.
>>343191638
if this is the most offensive thing you can take away from those movies you've got brain problems
>>343194145
i didn't watch most of them. they started to feel really samey.
>>343172198
Anyone seen that history of the soviet union tetris song video?
I am the man who arranges the blocks that descend upon me from up above!
>>343172941
>Battleship is just a navel battle
lewd
I think this has great potential. When you play tetris, you get so many different emotions. I think if you can properly transfer this to a movie, it could become a real masterpiece.
>>343175305
china is also misrepresenting their actual box office pulls.
they claimed warcraft made 200m, and had record attendance levels-- which would be fine, if the bulk of those sales and attendees weren't from one specific company's theaters. (including at least one theater that boasted a record 100+ attendees per screening, despite being squarely in a flooded city district)
>>343188469
Copyright law gets really retarded when it comes to common words
>>343172198
Will it be as good as this one though?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_1KlWFJyA
>>343183490
>>343174258
wait, is there new homestar runner? i somehow don't recognize that gag.
>>343172198
Gee, I hope the movie doesn't get delayed because of writer's block
Ubisoft was a mistake
>>343177194
>women
>>343172198
>implying the movie won't be about certain pieces not accepting other pieces that don't fit in
>moral revelation about how those pieces are wrong to not accept the piece that doesn't fit
>end movie with yay all us pieces totally fit together and there's absolutely no problems at all
>>343196410
Goddamn it carlos
>>343182419
>let me tell you how to spend your money!
fucking commies! the only person who could say that is one that lived a completely ascetic life, you waste money all the time on stupid shit, it only seems more problematic with movies because it's all concentrated in one place.
>>343197215
>the twist at the end is that they disappear
>other pieces wonder why such a horrible thing could happen
>>343172198
This looks like Chinese investors fell for a really bad joke.
>>343182419
The money spent on shitty movies is the wages of the people making the movie and supplying the resources for the movie.
The 'waste' is the work put toward making the movie, but that's literally their jobs. If they feel their jobs are a waste, then they should go till the fields and feed the hungry.
>>343172786
I have a feeling it might be about the first Tetris Grand Master
>>343172198
Maybe for you directors
What does /v/ think of this movie?
>>343172198
>mr president what's gonna happen to all those peopl trapped in the building?
>that's alright jimmy, all we need is a straight block to get rid of the rubble and theyll be safe
>oh my god... is that...
>IT"S AN S!!!!
>BRACE FOR IMPACT!!
>*Enter Matthew McConaughey*
>dont worry mr Prez, you just sit tight while me and my team take care of this fella
>they tow the S piece and use the earth's gravity to elongated
>mission accomplished
>Korobeiniki / It Aint Me mash starts playing
>>343172678
Real Steel was awesome, a corny beat em up with ass kicking automatons
>>343173829
>Not wanting line up your ass
Are you gay?
I bet they turned it into a war movie between Putin's Russia and the United States, trying to imply things about walls and iron curtain 2.0, and a genius hacker plays tetris in order to hack.
>>343177840
kek
>>343174887
Or the most hilarious shit on the planet. Or both.
It's going to be about first contact happening during the height of the cold war, and the aliens using Tetris to communicate (which is probably legit, Tetris may be a universal constant amongst intelligent life). Maybe even that our development of Tetris was the bar we had to pass to be recognized as worth contacting.
