The devil challenges you to a battle for your soul, and he allows you to choose any game you like to play against him. If you win, you keep your soul, if he wins, he takes your soul for all eternity.
Which game do you choose?
Sneaky Assassins, an arcade game on Mineplex.
Hopefully the devil is so disgusted by my shit taste that he sees no value in my soul.
Q3A
>>342742275
Russian roulette. But we use a water gun disguised as a revolver, and it's full of holy water. I let him go first, and he squirts himself and goes back to hell.
I refuse the challenge.
>>342742275
If I don't get anything then I'm not accepting the challenge. The devil can fuck off.
Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBsdb--gMRo
street fighter alpha on gameboy color
>>342742275
This is dumb. What is his overall powerlevel with video games?
Got about 10000 hours in this game so I'd say it's my best bet
Siege
Megaman Battle Network.
Any of them, you choose horned faggot
Ironically enough, Guitar Hero 3.
PES 2008 back when i was good :/
>>342742275
define soul
and also the prize of the victory, otherwise I just deny challenge and keep my soul anyway
>>342743323
Doesn't that game have a Tenacious D song on it too?
>>342743323
Is The Devil Went Down to Georgia on Guitar Hero?
>>342743551
the metal, no belzeboss
>>342743576
ye, final battle
>>342743551
>>342743576
Yes to both of these questions.
I'll fucking wreck that nigga in Tribes: Ascend.
>>342742275
The death game.
Whoever dies wins.
RuneScape. First to max all skills to 200,000,000 XP and collect every item in the game, do all quests and get 2.7BN of every stackable item. And also first to 999,999,999,999,999 wins of Duel Arena, PVP, Castle Wars and other mini-games.
That'd keep me happy for ever. :)
I know I'll lose, because he's the devil and doesn't sleep, but it doesn't matter when you've already just played through heaven.
>>342742275
Well that's an easy choice.
We'd both agree on playing the best game ever made.Fallout 4
We'd have so much fun playing it that BeezleTodd would want me to keep my soul and hang out playing it and all other Bethesda® til the end of time!
>>342743151
He's the devil faggot, what do you think
duel me outside org faggot
>>342742275
>If you win, you keep your soul
Why would I accept a challenge if my only reward is what I already supposedly own?
>>342742275
So if I lose he gets my soul but if I win he gets to go back to hell with no repercussions? Fuck off, Satan.
>>342742275
Well, I think we all know the answer to this one. I challenge him to a contest of who is less powerful so that he either has to give up his power to take my soul or give me my soul.
Posting a pic of the devil for informative reasons.
It's a winnable battle, who you don't want to be pitted against is Satan...
The game of sex
>>342744075
It means you won't suffer in Hell for all eternity.
![CrashTeamRacingNACover[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/9MyOwrJ.png "CrashTeamRacingNACover[1].png")
>>342742275
>>342744136
You have a strange concept of "devil". The devil is jesus, he just wants to cheat you of your soul by pretending he's some saviour.
The guy of the happy fucking? That's God, whose name is Satan. Says so in the bible, the true saviour will be called a prince of demons and beelzebub.
>>342744136
>Fag
Kill yourself
>>342742854
KEK
It doesn't work like that Devil, you can't just be like I'll take your soul if you lose, you have to offer me something if I win.
also you suck shit at playing the fiddle.
p.s. kill yourself
>>342742973
My effing n word. Came to post pro skater 4 or a speed run through the story of underground on sick
Halo 3: ODST firefight on the nature preserve with team scoring turned on
>>342744136
>marry the devil in exchange for your soul
>divorce him and take half of his property
Congratulations, you successfully increased your net soul worth by infinity percent.
Pic related, this is a healer, nevermind that she also looks sexy as fuck, not only will she heal and rez you but she looks like she likes kinky stuff.
People who claim to be saintly though... we just never see 'em do miracles, as if they were deceivers...
OP here: I should have specified, in this situation, you are dead and the Devil wants to claim your soul. If you win, you get to keep it and you return to Earth.
The Devil doesn't just go around taking souls, though.
>>342744660
>deviantart
>deviant
You're not fooling anyone, Satan.
>>342744136
>realized
>>342744730
Still sounds like a shit prize. Does he even have a valid claim on it without this challenge? What happens next time I die? Do we just go through the same crap all over again?
>>342744305
I'm already going to hell so why not have connections before I get there?
>>342742275
pong
>>342744730
>spend eternity in hell
or
>go back to the hell you just escaped from by dying
The only winning move is not to play.
>>342742275
I play Stardew Valley so I can become immortal, playing against him forever
>>342742854
10/10 idea anon
>>342743159
Good taste, anon. How do I get good in defcon?
Dark Souls 3, Melee or Tr4sh
Stronghold Crusader
Using my superior tactics, I wont even need food production.
>>342742275
Brutal Legend
I'd bust a massive monster jam and get his horn to blow smoke out of
>>342745014
>I'm already going to hell so why not have connections before I get there?
Anon, I like the way you think.
Dark Souls
I spent like a thousand hours playing this shit, I'll just chain backstab him to deathwith the power of banana sword.
So what video games does hell have?
*pulls out fiddle and plays "devil went down to Georgia"
You know, people love roleplaying and shit like that, but hear me here for a moment.
So... speaking of Satan.
First off, I'm not claiming that he is evil, or that demons are evil, I will claim however that I am his son and one of his demons (and you don't know what the word demon means exactly, trust me in this one).
Do you wish to make a pact and live with us? You will remain in our house forever. We treat ourselves like family, we fuck like animals, we enjoy.
I'm inviting you, incase "heaven" was a place with temperature problems.
Gonna help you a bit more with this choice, this is straigth from the bible:
Matthew 10:25
I, the master of the household, have been called the prince of demons
You should also lookup Jeremiah 8:8: The law was rewritten with lies
So... are you sure God looks down on sex and that a God deprives himself of sexual fun?
These morals seem retarded instead of good...
>>342742275
Tribes 2
Devil can team up with God the archangels and the four horsemen.
Get to train for one eternity.
Playing on quantum computers with a magical internet connection.
Sandraker scum
I'm with a team from /v/ hastily scrambled together 30 minutes before the match.
Playing on toasters connected to 56k modems.
Bloode eagle master race
>>342745498
And I must insist, a God that designs his sons from scratch with tailored sexuality that he then absorbs is obviously the devil taking you for a fool.
This is akin to you hating videoconsoles and loving pc, and never building a pc and keep buying the same colecovision each console generation.
It's no longer a good or evil problem, this is just plain retarded and proper of the devil.
Melee. Pick Jiggs on Final D, get a rest and then ledge stall for 7 minutes.
>>342745498
>>342745984
>he believes that Christianity is dictated by a man made book that can be edited to manipulate the people reading it
>he thinks that God actually doesn't want people to fuck
>he doesn't know that it's just propaganda to keep birthrates low
Let me guess, you also think that The Bible says that God is a super nice benevolent God too, right?
Oh ye of little faith, you have absolutely no idea of what you speak of.
>>342742523
>tfw you still play on mineplex every once and a while.
>>342742275
DOOM
The multiplayer isn't super good, but I know for a fact I could whoop his ass 1v1 with very little trouble.
>>342742854
That's some Joseph Joestar shit right there.
>>342746157
I am actually preaching the God that should be in the bible. I am his son, a son of Satan.
Way ahead of you.
>>342745693
Be sure that you pump galo sengan when you make the comeback of a century
>>342742275
Battleships
>>342743159
>10000 hours
doubt.jpeg
>>342742275
This is actually a reverse psychology scam to trick you into winning your way out of the good Yazidi afterlife.
>>342746303
>>342742275
Quake 1 duels on dm6 dm4 and aerowalk
>>342742275
Demon's souls
Any console game
But he has to use a Mad Catz mini controller
>Not siding with edgy Satan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbAjHSFvigA
DOTA2 because after playing this game for so long I doubt I even have a soul left so fuck it
>>342742275
Gwent
>>342746474
You faggots never learn your lesson, do you? You keep repeating the same lie as if for the millionth time I was finally going to pay any attention to you.
>>342742749
This, and I will wreck his fucking console peasant ass.
>>342746303
>implying Satan is on the same level as God
God felt pity for him so he lets him "run" hell.
>>342745062
You could force a draw, who knows what would happen.
>>342746680
And I take it you can prove there's another God whose name isn't Satan?
Actual proof, not a bunch of lies and books suggesting that this is so, I could present you a spiderman comic book and pretend it's a police training manual, we both would be lying and nothing would have been proven.
>>342746680
No. Hell is reserved for him and his fallen angels to suffer in. He only runs Earth, actually.
>>342746680
>believing the bible version of that story
look up satanic bible version of the lucipher story. god was actually not powerful enough to do anything to satan and satan created hell to smite god. god is being contained because of satan.
>>342746550
>1v1 mid
>he picks viper and only attacks you
Mighty No. 9
>>342745693
>tfw one day you see a thread with a guy saying he needs a Tribes team to play against Satan in 30 minutes
Game of the century right there.
>>342746789
>>342746830
>>342746892
>Believing in God and Satan
>>342746680
Doesn't Satan suffer in hell just like everybody else?
>>342747040
Yeah.
>>342742856
Underrated post
>>342746892
>the satanic bible
>credible in any way
>literally the fedora of religions
>can't be a member of the church without paying money
I'm not saying the Bible is credible either but you're a fucking retard, kek
Something like Overwatch or Call of Duty where the skill ceiling is so low that even a god couldn't be better than the average human being.
>>342746680
And in fact, I am more able to prove my words than you.
The bible is a book that describes a religion where a devil is trying to fool the elect of God into worshipping the devil, to do this, bible says, the devil has most of the people of the whorld, whom are his son, preach a false saviour.
So yes, what I say is actually pretty much standard issue biblical religion.
>>342747040
According to Dante, yeah. Most Christians traditionally believed the devil could still influence events on earth though.
Assuming he's got ungodly motor/controls capabilities, isn't the only choice like Mario Party that runs off RNG so that you stand a chance?
Don't fall for the trick, tell Satan to fuck off and accept Jesus as your saviour.
Playing Satan's games is a sin
>>342747198
I'm sure Ahmed would love to hear about it while decapitating you, infidel. He'd be REALLY scared.
>>342747287
>accept Jesus as your saviour.
What if you are a cheater of souls? Show me these miracles you are to do in his name like move mountains? :3
>>342742275
minecraft on creative mode. no achievements means killing the ender dragon isn't "the end", so we'll basically just play forever building shit and fucking around. with some luck he'll become so bored he'll just quit and let me go.
>>342747339
I want you to try and decapitate me yourself, incase ahmed is a pussy and can't do it, I guess people like you can't put up with actually having the gall to carry on with their threats?
>>342747156
Man inferno is so fucking metal
>debating religion on /v/
It's an exercise in autistic futility
>>342747156
>Satan literally looking like he was grounded.
>>342746917
GG EZ NO RE
>>342742275
I'm shit at multiplayer games so I'm fucked no matter what I choose.
I beat Satan in Digital Devil Saga 2 so does that count?
>>342747495
Only if Deus Vult.
I'm not amazing at any game so I'd leave it up to chance. Rock paper scissors motherfucker
>>342744136
Sadam Hussein go and stay go
>>342747282
>implying you're going to win at mario party.
if he doesn't fuck you the RNG and the AI will for sure.
Guitar Hero 3
I've already beat him in that
Alternatively, the very slept on versus mode in Elite Beat Agents
>>342746984
>not being blessed by God
It's like you don't want to be ballin'.
>>342747843
So basically you aren't able and drop an ambiguous title (deus - meaning god) not daring to give a name to God.,.
You know, there is a reason for evil spirits to claim to come from Satan... if you oppose Satan, you're fucked, as He is God.
Someone post the Satan=God comic
You know the one
>>342747863
>ask him to play with his feet
>it's fair because godly superpowers and such
>goat feet
>always scissors
>choose rock
>win by default
>Team of 5 vs Satan in CoD
> The entire game is them just shit talking the hell out of Satan
>They call him edgelord, tell him to kill himself, call him a faggot
>he gets btfo
>They taunt him harder
>Satan goes back to hell crying
>God puts out Notice that Satan is on suicidewatch until further notice
>>342744284
You do realize that Emprah actually posed as a Jesus and calling him "devil" is literally forfeiting your soul to Chaos Gods? In other words you're the heretic
Polish Roulette and he goes first
>>342744284
God's name is Yaweh or whatever
>>342748127
>My god is your god
You have your beliefs and I have mine, you bible thumping satanist, you're more annoying than Jehovah's witness.
>>342744284
>being a gnostic in anno domini 2016
kys
John Elway's Quarterback, i use the speed glitch
Blade of Steel
or possibly a duel with fiddles
>>342742275
guitar battle, obviously
>tfw 'now I am complete'
>fuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUCK.
>>342742275
I'll probably win with my Cannon folder and Custom style
>>342745693
>>342746948
>>342742275
I choose to play a rousing game of "You Win by Not Being The Devil"
Bahamut > Satan
>>342746948
>you will never get to witness a 500 ping brazillian and a furfag stomping the combined sandraker forces of heaven and hell
>>342748856
Yeah, lord knows you Christfags aren't among the most annoying fucks on the planet, right behind the mudslimes, who are an offshoot of your bullshit anyway.
>>342747550
>debating religion
It's an exercise in futility anyway.
It's something every sane person understands is false and every fanatic "knows" is true.
>>342750074
My, aren't you quick to defend your beliefs, it seems as though you never had any faith in them at all to begin with. It's as if you're trying to convince yourself that it's true.
Oh ye of little faith, I pity you. Maybe one day you'll find belonging in the world... before it's too late.
>>342742275
Animal Crossing.
>>342750253
>believing in religion means that you're a fanatic
Where'd you get that conclusion?
>>342742275
i refuse the challenge since i have nothing to gain
Soul calibur 5
>I am a demon, trust me on this
yeah believe it or not i've heard of that religion before, lucifer, aka lightbringer, being the actual 'good' half of god and the bible has been fucked with since 3000bc.
at least you arn't as fucked up as satanists but its still retarded.
plus if demons existed there would be a qt succubi blowing me right now
>>342750913
a qt succubi (Male)
>>342750770
>drink the full glass
>God is waiting at the bottom
>glass is now empty
Ayyy
>>342750973
pls no homo, trap would have to look like a girl for me to be interested anyway.
>>342751018
>God IS the glass
>>342751110
Then he wouldn't be at the bottom of himself
Mario Party. Either way I'll have fun and I got to play video games with the Devil. That's pretty cool.
51 Pickup
>>342751219
Well if there is no bottom to the glass, all the liquid in it just falls out now doesn't it?
>challenge The Devil to a game of Monopoly
>use epic Jew mercantile skills
>>342751317
There is a bottom of the glass because it is clearly stated in the quote that God waits there.
A glass isn't at its own bottom, just like you aren't inside yourself (except when your head is in your own ass, but that's a special case).
Ask him if he wants to play doctor. [/spoiler]:3c[/spoiler]
>>342751539
>playing doctor
>everybody wins
>you keep your soul
>satan takes it for all eternity
>you're now the only self-owned person in hell
fuck this gay earth
maybe Street Legal Racing: Redline
shit's so buggy it'll hopefully make him question everything
>>342751515
>Bottom of the glass is made of glass
>God is at the bottom of the glass
Therefore God is the glass. The bottom of the glass is God himself as the strong base of the glass. The rest of the glass is him holding up supports to contain the liquid that is put inside of it.
Solitaire
>>342751975
Wew
>>342751883
God isn't the glass because otherwise he would be at his own bottom.
>>342751975
wew lad
The don't-be-the-devil game.
I'm not the devil.
I win.
>>342751975
>Hadn't even posted in the thread yet
>want to reply even though I know it'll be too late
>just in case though
>realize it's too late; it was always too late
>mouse hovering over the post button
if you can read this know that I died and my only regret is tha
>>342752453
>random /v/irgin dictating what God can and can't be
wew lad
>>342750394
I wasn't even the guy you were talking to, you condescending faggot. This kind of shit is why nobody likes you and your cult is steadily dying off.
>>342752705
I am stronger than christian god, though.
I exist.
>>342751975
You never pressed the button fag
>>342750913
Satanism is about worship of the self and conducting yourself in a way that's respectable and decent. Edgy teenagers that call themselves satanists don't know what the hell they're talking about.
>>342742275
polybius
>>342753041
That's non-theistic Satanism [read: paganism], but yes.
>>342752707
I say what this anon says to you >>342752707
>>342752780
Do you actually exist? Who's to say you're not just a figment of my imagination like my religion.
>>342742275
Battlefront II. I still play it to this day.
>>342753207
>"No, you XD": the post
>>342753467
What >>342753467 said
Dragon Ball Z: Legendary Super Warriors for GBC
or
Mobile Suit Gundam: Federation VS Zeon
In my prime I could 6 hit combo from the furthest reaches of the screen and still untouchable in a Zaku 2 or Guncannon
>>342753576
By Christfag standards, you're a master debater.
>>342753661
Take the "de" out of debater and you're right on the money.
>>342742854
One internets for you anon.
That being said, I'd prolly challenge him to some Hearthstone and watch as RNG fucks him over.
>>342753761
Even with that "de", it's true.
Christian standards regarding debates are somewhere near Ethiopian standards regarding food quality.
>>342753207
>>342753467
>Memeing this hard
This is why I don't argue about religion, it just devolves into shit-flinging because whether or not something you can't prove exists does or not is literally impossible. Put your fucking dicks away and move on.
>>342742856
Standard /v/ user. Only here to shitpost and doesn't play games.
>>342753906
So what you're actually saying is that you have no counter debate, so now you're resorting to saying that I'm not worth talking to because of my beliefs.
How common for nonbelievers to want to tap out when they realize how strong a true believer's faith is.
>>342754318
*tips mitre*
>>342754202
Judging by the gleaming scientific and otherwise inaccuracies of the bible, including old testament, you can make a pretty strong case the judeo Christian god does not exist,at least as described by the bible(and in turn jewish texts, and the kuran)
>>342754318
I'm pretty sure 'faith' and 'delusion' are synonyms, but you guys sure seem to use them as such. It's like arguing with a brick wall but the wall is also a condescending douchebag.
>>342754573
Whoops,
>*aren't
>/v/ is so contrarian they can't be just atheists, they have to be satanists
I'm out.
>>342754318
Not him, but to be fair, that's actually the real reason people tip out "how strong my faith is"
What the fuck do you do here?
If some argues, for example, that UK should leave e the European union for X reasom, based on X logic, X economic analysis and details everything meticulously, it's insulting to believe a fair counterarguement is that they can't prove it, or that uou "have a strong faith in the EU"
>>342744284
Go away Olivia Pierce.
>>342742275
Something from the SSX franchise, doesn't matter which game.
>>342742275
Smash bros
>>342754489
>I take relgious texts literally
how's it like being on the mental level of american bible thumpers?
>>342754573
>I'm pretty sure 'faith' and 'delusion' are synonyms, but you guys sure seem to use them as such. It's like arguing with a brick wall but the wall is also a condescending douchebag.
Dunno, not even him, but you kinda sound like a total "enlightened" ass yourself.
BFBC2
Bitch don't know about my shotgun sniping and tracker dart planting
>>342755125
>when it's proven wrong it wasn't literal/didn't count/was obsoleted/didn't happen
>gay sex is still an abomination, though
rocket league
>>342748010
>Alternatively, the very slept on versus mode in Elite Beat Agents
ANON I CAME HERE TO POST THIS
FUCK YES
CAN WE BE FRIENDS NOW
>>342742275
Dark Souls 1 PvP.
I used to fight with Spades so I think I have a chance.
>>342742275
Tennis for the original gameboy, I can smack the devil across the mouth any day at that game
>>342749424
>not a DoubleHero Folder with a glitched navicust that makes you automatically use your chips
Hell, PlantMan or FlashMan folders are fucking annoying to deal with as well.
>>342751975
>tfw still alive
>sad_keanu.psd
>>342742275
Chess.
>>342755240
>being an asshole to an asshole makes you the ass
Whatever kiddo, at least I'm not the one arguing in favor of fairy tales and inciting the shit in the first place.
>>342755125
>it's just an metaphor meme.
So fucking what then? The tortoise and the hair is a metaphor, i don't claim that said talking tortoise exists, nor do i go to fucking brothers grim lecture on sunday, or send my kids raped by preachers of fairytales. If you believe god didn't create the world in six days, there was no garden of eden, no sodom or Gomorrah, no adam, even, moses, cain abel, david, Goliath. Jesus was not born of a Virgin mother, didn't walk on water, or perform any "miracles" then why should anyone give a shit about some half baked boring ass texts with quality lessons about how you should kill your son if the voices in your head tell you to, or that you shouldn't require evidence to believe things, or gays are bad.
If you believe any of it, just have the double think potential that "some of it isn't literal" then you are just as retarded as any other jesus freak, reminds me of those " can you believe the mormons believe X, those crazy fuckers, now excuse me while I pray to sky jew"
>>342744136
Source?
>>342754247
kek
>>342744394
This. Why not just reject the challenge? What could the Devil possibly offer that would even make me consider accepting this challenge?
>>342756143
Tobias and Guy
it's short and it ended though
there's official porn too
>>342756527
>>342744394
Pussies.
Some of us know we won't lose anyway, and want the thrill of playing against the devil with our soul on the line.
But sure go ahead and admit itt that you are shit at vidya.
>>342755792
>whatever kiddo
Yeah you're a fucking cunt alright.
>>342755820
Well it figures that someone talking bullshit wouldn't even know what are the basic tenets of christianity.
You're probably a american to boot, so I guess you just can't comprehend how religion and culture is intertwined in quite a lot of places.
>>342756657
Wait, if you know you won't lose, then where is the thrill?
MGE in tf2
kill me
>>342756646
S-source on the official porn part
>>342744394
Who would win,
Evil Incarnate or A Hick from Georgia?
>>342757086
just search on paheal
>>342742275
Pro Evolution Soccer 2010
>>342756706
>Yeah you're a fucking cunt alright.
Thanks kiddo ;^D
>>342756706
>be me
>raised christian
>decide to actually read the texts
>realize it's all bullshit
>get told on the internet i don't even know the basic tennets of some snowflakes special type of Christianity that isn't nutters like the rest, and can't be judged on "the bible"
>get called American (which im not) cause appearantly that is a counterarguement.
>told I can't comprehend how religion and cultural is combined in some places (such as saudi arabia, the islamic state, Mormon communes etc)
>guy never actually counters anything i say or offers up his "special" Christianity that somehow is valid.
K, just another day on the internet
>>342742275
MarioParty 2
>>342756741
There is none, there never is, we only hope the devil might actually pose a challenge and restore the thrill of playing.
But it won't happen we will just easily win and continue our mundane lives.
>>342755792
You murder a murderer and now you're both murderers, just that one of you is dead
Since the devil isa an overpowered fuck, I don't feel safe with any choice.
That said, I challenge him for a game of 100%OJ, he can bring a friend but only If Jesus is in my team.
I want the red fucker to question his existence
>>342757448
How did you come to the conclusion that the holy texts are bullshit?
Sounds like you just read them and said to yourself, "That sounds silly lol, I'm not going to believe this." and that made you not believe anymore.
tbqh, you never believed it to begin with. You're probably one of those kids that was told by their parents that God exists and you have to be good, and that was literally the full extent of your knowledge of the Christian faith until you actually decided to read it after all the antireligious propaganda that has been shoved down your throat. Go watch some Richard Dawkins videos and think about how much "smarter" you are compared to everyone else and let the adults talk here on this competitive Chinese Checkers image board.
The only correct answer
>watch anime and play video games
>see that Kazuya gets devil powers in the Tekken movie
>love him and the devil in tekken 2
>for some fucking edgy reason I want that
>'sell' my soul like Al Bundy did in the episode he wants to be a pro football player
>this moment forever haunts me and my soul
>I literally pray everyday for God to forgive me for all of my sins, but most importantly this sin
I've only told my GF this story. I ask for forgiveness, mercy and redemption everyday.
I think my life changed completely that day.
I'm literally scared to die even though I know God forgives anyone that asks.
Sorry, I had to get this off my chest. Anytime the Devil/Satan imagery pops up, its all I can think about.
>>342758227
You're fucked.
Enjoy hell.
>>342744394
You don't fucking get It.
Satan just decided to to take your goddamn soul.
He could just drop a brick on your head and be with It but he decides o be a chap and give you a chance.
Be better than him. If your best is enough to beat the goddamn satan, you get a pouting devil and a high five from Jesus.
Once you're there, of course
>>342757448
> snowflakes special type of Christianity
I'm catholic.
>decide to actually read the texts
There's more to christianity than just the fucking texts, christanity isn't about going to church or strictly adhering to some bullshit rules, it's first and foremost about helping your fellow man and generally being a good person.
Faith without good deeds is absolutely worthless.
>>342742275
Tic Tac Toe, make the red nigger play forever or give me my soul and something cool.
Dark Souls 1 pvp
>>342758360
Not sure if you're joking or not but I thought this too until I realized that God forgives anyone who asks. I ask all the time and truly mean it. I pray and give thanks to Him as much as possible. I don't go to church because I cannot stand the congregation. The church is nice but I just feel like it's a fashion contest each Sunday.
I know that Jesus was sent here to die for my sins. I know that by his sacrifice that he died for my sins. I just can't seem to forgive myself.
>>342742275
That tunnel runner game N2O (Nitrous oxide) I'm convinced nobody knows that game exists but me
>>342758227
You're a fucking retard, and not because of the shit you believe in, but because you don't even understand your fucking religion.
>>342758950
I'll sin a lot and then at my deathbed I'll get the forgiveness.
>>342758167
Yes, it is entirely innacurate and provides no evidence to back its claims. So it's Horseshit. I was never "fed propaganda" and i went to church, sunday school, ri,.and was confirmed and whatnot. Im just q critical thinker, and flimsy bullshit never flies with me.
>>342758525
Catholics do believe in a certain level of literalism.
The texts are what the faith is based on. Anything else is just retards reading in to it, or bending it to try amd fit the 21st century.
I don't need a skyjew to be a good person.
Good deeds without "faith" is of much more value. Than either of those two things.
>>342758508
I've been emotionally dead for years. So he rises up, I call him a dork, slap him around a bit, maybe give him a wedgie and send him on his way.
p.s. Satan if you're reading this go splash holy water in your face you fuckin dork.
>>342759069
Explain.
>>342759086
That's not how it works. God knows intent and if you're not truly sorry and asking for forgiveness then you're essentially lying.
>>342759086
By saying this you dont truly repent, idiot. You're actually supposed to feel bad and ask for forgiveness because you feel guilty. You cant lie to something that is literally all powerful.
>>342759253
>>342759306
But then I'll be dying so I'll be truly scared for my life and truly sorry.
>>342753247
This.
Hardmode: You're Republic on Polis Massa
>>342759253
I can't tell if you're trolling or being genuinely retarded anymore
>>342758635
You fucked up nigga.
You fucked up big.
Have you ever really played a serious fucking game of tic tac toe?
I did once. Big bet and all that.
We played for hours. It was funny at first but then the concentration got all fucked up and It was a big goddamn strain to keep the game going. And stalling was fucking forbidden.
4 and a half hours, man that shit was hard, trust me.
And the fucking devil? I bet that motherfucker could last months. Could you, anon?
>>342759363
Oh, nice. The ole "I won't explain my vague ass post" and when asked to explain "You're retarded!"
Thanks for the thread bump, I guess.
I'm the Merc
Gonna fuck his shit up
>>342759381
It's my fucking soul nigga, if I'm going to be trapped somewhere for eternity it might as well not be Hell. At best he'll give up before me, at worst I'm becoming Sisyphus 2.0.
>>342758635
but what if he moves first and there's a rule against using the center in each of your first moves?
Animal Crossing.
The only way to win is to feel the zen, the comfiness and the love. If he does win he'll no longer want my soul.
guitar hero 3 i will fuck him up (already did)
>>342746397
Office mode all the way, brah. 8 hours a day, every day.
>>342759090
>Catholics do believe in a certain level of literalism.
The texts are what the faith is based on. Anything else is just retards reading in to it, or bending it to try amd fit the 21st century.
The catholic faith was shaped through centuries and the traditions of the church are kinda a bigh deal but I don't really feel like going into this right now.
>I don't need a skyjew to be a good person.
Good deeds without "faith" is of much more value. Than either of those two things.
Good job, you're inadvertently being a good christian. After all, western morality is pretty much christian morality.
>not even tempting me with golden objects
The Devil sure lost his touch from when he was a violinist in Georgia.
>>342742275
id just flip a coin desu.
best of 3
Why isn't there a badass Bible rpg game?
I'd love to be the silent protag that strings along the events of the Bible as a witness.
>>342759340
The best part is that It makes sense.
Assuming you'll even get to be fucking sorry.
Nice fucking thing to be able to rethink your as you're bedridden.
Or buried underground whatever,
Because illness, accidents, getting shit in the head or choking on a dick won't give you time to think.
At best, you'll be dead set focused on survival.
>>342759253
Because according to christian theology you just can't fucking sell your soul, going to hell isn't a punishment either, but the result of human estrangement and refusal to be one with god. Half the shit people associate with hell is also a complete bullshit that sprang from something that was basically a bible fanfic.
>>342759836
>After all, western morality is pretty much christian morality.
Nope.
Christian morality involves much more evil, punishment, demonization of any non-kosher pleasure, naturalistic fallacies and a big dose of hypocrisy.
Christian morality is halfway between European morality and muslim morality.
>>342759969
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDm_ZHyYTrg
i like you
>>342759090
>entirely inaccurate and provides no evidence to back its claims
Wow it's almost like you have to have Faith in religion. It's almost like Religion is just an easy answer to an extremely difficult question (What is our purpose in life and where did we come from?). What a pathetic life you must live since you have no belief in purpose. I'd pray for you but my God isn't the kind of God that gives miracles every new moon like you believed he should.
>flimsy bullshit
So you don't believe in science then? Because science itself is like a religion. But unlike religion, science can be completely rewritten at the drop of a hat when a new discovery is made. And I myself don't like to put all my beliefs in something that changes like the wind all the time.
>>342760159
Thank you for explaining. I really appreciate that.
>>342759796
Fuck yeah.
I did nothing all day and still get payed.
>>342759836
I don't believe god exists, and i extend these deeds to gays, and i'm even down to help a poor woman have an abortion. but sure bud, keep saying i do it cause of Christianity.
Furthermore the entire history of the Catholic church has been exploiting your texts to have power over.people,im willing to wager 50%+ of the cardinals/popes/ higher ups throughout history, were not religous. Wo no you don't want to go down that road.
