what do you show at E3 to save your company?
I would show a few pictures of the NX. I wouldn't talk about it, only show people what it looks like.
don't go to E3, save money, announce a direct the week after.
>>339839669
The public firing of of Tanabe.
Merger with Sony
Naughty Dog making Metroid? Yes, please.
fuck videogames, we're doing insurance now
>>339840173
please no.
Other M was more than enough cinimatic bullshit for Metroid.
Metroid fans don't want a literal movie.
New 3D mario platformer
Change Paper Mario into a rigid RPG
Get IS to announce a new Advance Wars
Make it so the NX is beyond current consoles
Bin Metroid:Fed
Lots of new Zelda
Nothing on amiibos
Nothing on marketing
Nothing on social media
No memes
So basically announce rehashes
For the future, put more of a focus on original IPsThough really focusing on the casual market would get nintendo wii tier money again
Go full retard claiming to be full mobile and pachinko while actually preparing a shit ton of games for the next five years behind the scenes, release them all at once with as big of fanfare as possible
>>339840173
>cinematic garbage made by the most overrated dev in the industry
fucking no goddamn thank you
VR porn starring all the Nintendo girls/boys ever.
An original Mario 3d platofromer.
>>339839669
Smash HD collection
Drop home consoles entirely, go third party.
I can't show what doesn't exist.
>>339840492
>VR porn starring all the Nintendo girls
this
>>339840545
there aren't really other companies besides capcom who rehash their old fighters though
Bring the entire Zelda team together, and ask them to describe what Legend of Zelda is about. I then fire everyone who mentions puzzles.
>>339839669
I'll shit out a Nintendo waifu like an Ashely Amiibo.
>>339839669
Mario Warriors
Sell the company or complete whore out the IPs to mobile games riddled with micro transactions and make bank ;^)
>>339840173
>this entire post
No
Real talk it would be very very simple.
>announce new 3d mario akin to the hub based games like sunshine, galaxy. Cross platform with nx and wii u
>announce another mk8 dlc pack
>announce more snes games for nd3s. If you have them on your wii/u you get the discount price
> announce new 2d metroid title for $15 on wii u. Reuse the metroid zero missions sprites and style.
> fzero wii u. Have sumo develop it. Have cockpit view on gamepad. Thats all that needs to be added. Same difficulty as gx, custom cars and online with custom cars on and off modes.
> 3 new sm4sh stages
> announce bayonetta jeanne 3ds game
> more zelda info
> complete the mario amiibo set
Tell me why thats hard and why it wouldnt print money.
>>339840759
>yes, it was PUZZLES that ruined Skyward Sword, not the shit exploration, removed features, and terrible controls.
>>339839669
I don't understand, if I had things to show at E3, wouldn't the previous guy already be showing them?
But E3 is dying anyway. I'll make my own event to show off the NX.
Nintendo Xtreme Beach Volleyball
>>339840923
>Implying nintendo would sell a new metroid for only $15
Other than that, we can only dream
>>339840957
Zelda has been shit longer than SS you retard.
Public shaming of Treehouse and threats to Reggie.
Mario Super Charged Strikers 3
Tell CA to stop making Metroid:Federations
>>339839669
We are abandoning any further consoles. All titles will be playable on Xbox, PS, and PC.
>>339841128
SS was the peak of the shit, DS was mediocre, all the other games are fine.
>>339840173
>this fucking post
-New 2D Metroid and Zelda game
-Replace Aonuma with Tezuka and fix the Zelda series; put Aonuma to work on a new story focused IP
-NX with normal controller and better than PS4 hardware
-Sequel to Duck Hunt and Excite Bike
-Tell the audience that Nintendo will be pulling back from Amiibo and smartphones
-Collaboration with SquareEnix and Monolithsoft on a new Chrono game
-Collaboration with SquareEnix to localize and advertise Dragon Quest games in the west; formally announce Dragon Quest X and XI for NX
-Collaboration with Vanillaware to make a high end IP that revolutionizes 2D gaming, exclusive for the NX
-Purchase SEGA as a second party developer and confirm PSO2 for release on the NX
-Iwata hand gesture and walk off stage
>>339841597
I liked Spirit Tracks 2bh
>>339841781
it's actually the only Zelda I haven't played. Well, that and triforce heroes
>>339841745
>Sequel to Duck Hunt
>>339841745
It says save the company not make it go bankrupt
>>339840173
>Naughty Dog making Metroid? Yes, please.
It really is summer, isn't it
>>339841461
Winner
>>339840802
I think I would die from a broken heart.
>>339839669
Womens rights and other bullshit.
>>339841871
It's worth a play, gameplay's better, story and characters are cool, music is really good. Fuck the flute whistling thing tho
>>339839669
appologise to the fans for fucking up for almost half a decade.
announce that you are going to cancel all current projects and focus everything on developing a remake of super mario 64 for the wii u and develop a new powerful consoles that has no gimmick shit
promise that the launch of the next console is going to have a new metriod, a new zelda, a remake of brawl and the remake for mario 64 as it´s launch title and that you are going to spend millions to make the next ninento console the console of choice for 3rd party developers
1. New partnerships with Sega, Atlus, Square Enix, Kadokawa, Ubisoft, EA, Activision, CD Projekt and Bethesda to provide future systems with a vast amount of 3rd party content.
2. The next Nintendo platform will merge home console and handheld into an identical operating system called Nintendo OS which will be optimized for x86 architecture. The new console will be called the Nintendo Home+Go where the handheld console becomes the controller for the new console and can be taken on the go using the handhelds internal AMD mobile APU with memory stored on an SD card or USB stick. The console will feature custom built CPU by AMD using the new Zen architecture which will be 8 physical cores and run at 3.0GHz while the GPU will be similar to Nvidia's 980M and will come equipped with 4gb of HBM memory and 512mb of DDR4 for background processes. The console will go on sale for $399 for the 500gb console and $449 for the 1TB system.
3. Announce plans for new titles in the Mario 3d platforming, Metroid, Earthbound, Fire Emblem, Yoshi's Island, Donkey Kong, Kid Icarus, Warioware and Bayonetta series.
4. Announce revamp of Virtual Console allowing console owners of last gen and current gen systems to pay a subscription to play unlimited VC games, some new titles, access exclusive alphas/betas for coming titles early and access to new games a day earlier for $5 a month. All games can still be bought and downloaded normally on eshop, monthly feature games can be kept on your console even if you cancel the subscription. Incentive is first months free titles will be an Earthbound collection consisting of Earthbound: Beginnings, Earthbound and Earthbound 2/Mother 3.
5. Give all WiiU users access to the LoZ for WiiU demo on eshop at midnight after the demos are done at the Nintendo World event, also have demos available for all featured treehouse games at the end of the show.
However most of this is lucid dreaming and if anything we'll have a Zelda game that may be better then SS
>>339842303
>hey sorry we tried new things
>we're literally just going to remake a game some fat virgin has a nostalgia boner for.
>>339841929
Aside from removing amiibo, none of those things would make Nintendo lose money. Just the opposite.
>>339840492
>VR porn starring all the Nintendo girls/boys ever.
Only if it had the highest production values Nintendo can manage
That would sell VR, Nintendo VR
>>339842303
>developing a remake of super mario 64
64 is still good tho, it's aged well.
shift everything to making top notch porn with nintendo characters
An amiibo Toybox.
It's the perfect opportunity, since Disney Infinity just got shitcanned. Make a virtual sandbox with various Nintendo backdrops that is compatible with EVERY amiibo released so far. Maybe have some sort of Miitomo integration.
>Open world Pokemon MMO with tournaments
>Buy the rights to Jet Set from Sega, reboot Future then make a new one
>Try to partner with Squeenix for a new Mario RPG
>Buy the rights to Mallow and Genoa
>Smash 5 (Melee 2)
>more tracks/characters/vehicles/parts for MK8
>Direct sequel to Super Mario 64
>New platformer with Wario and Waluigi and a new "anti-princess"
Bring Treehouse for guest appearance and fire all staff who mentioned any meme in any change during a localization.
A fucking GOOD Paper Mario game.
We're leaving the phone market and never going back.
The execution of Sakurai.
Cheaper dev kit for indies for a percentage of their profit.
A fucking GOOD Metroid game.
A fucking GOOD Starfox game.
All Nintendo games will decrease in price by $5 per year to a minimum of 50% of the starting price 4-6 years from now. Applies retroactively. Sales skyrocket.
>>339842559
Good way to kill Nintendo. Fuck yourself.
>>339842559
>>New platformer with Wario and Waluigi and a new "anti-princess"
How the fuck is it 2016 and this still hasn't happened. Why the fuck does Nintendo hate fun
Give Ashley her own game
Fire Hackurai
Done
>>339842662
Yeah, ok guy.
>nx pictures, new details making it have the best specs on the market and that it plays all wiiu games as well
>game play of zelda, lots of zelda showcasing
>announce new 2d zelda and 2d metroid for 3ds
>announce NX Zero
>announce NX Mario Sunshine
>announce Bayon3tta
I would have sexy booth girl versions of the princesses everywhere as well. One would have an accidental wardrobe malfunction to reveal that we're also making sexy skins for SmashU.
I doubt there's any time between my rather sudden appointment and E3 to produce anything that wasn't going to be shown anyway. Maybe get someone to throw together some concept art for a new mainline Mario, but even that's probably pushing it.
>>339839669
>New F-Zero Game
>Metroid Prime 4
>NewHogan's Alley
>Nintendo vs Capcom
WOW THAT WAS SO FUCKING HARD
>>339839669
A comprehensive list of firings and cancelled projects.
Announce:
- Patch for stardom to remove gimmicks controls and add 16v16 multiplayer for free.
- new 2d metroid on 3ds
- new f zero with online multiplayer and track designer
- buy megaman ip
- buy castlevania ip
- announce new partnership with square Enix to produce good final Fantasy games again
- new goemon game
- release waifu products
- announce new smash characters Simon Belmont, Kane from ff4, and something with tits
- promise no more waggle controls ever again for good measure
Fixed it, that'll be 50 million for consulting fees. I did just save Nintendo after all.
>>339839669
My tits because I dont know jack shit about video games
>>339843361
>because I dont know jack shit about video games
Well you are a girl...
>>339843351
>stardom
Starfox. Anyone else notice android auto correct getting dumber?
>>339843361
No one wants to see a fat neets gyno
>>339842385
>bringing mother 3 over
Please don't. Everyone has already played it and the fan translation is better then anything NOA would shit out.
>>339839669
>make new console
>ditch expensive gimmicks that make the console cost more (camera, gyro[?], mic, 720p streaming screen) and use it on power performance
>sell the gimmicks separately if they're EVER required for a title
>make an Animal Crossing and Tomodachi Life on the system so the girly/Tumblr considers buying the console
>even if it sounds impossible/retarded, release Melee HD and don't fix anything about it, also try to make the "competitive figures" like it so its dicksucking community considers buying the console
>actually put effort in trying to get third party support this time (this shit needs FIFA, at least)
>Make 5mash, Mario Kart 9, Zelda and anything Pokémon, obviously
>actually sell lots of titles in the eShop; sell GameCube games for once, and sell NES games for $1 each
>make actual good account systems
>actually have stock on amiibo, because apparently those were pretty popular and try to make more official merchandise
How did I do?
a Chibi-Robo HD remaster
>>339843835
This x1000
Explain on stage that E3 isn't worth our company's time. We're the only E3 exhibitor that actually talks about what we're doing year round with our directs, we don't have a parent company who makes us push thier other subsidiaries so we can make them actual money, fhere's TGS to attend, and it's simply just a boring press release with lots of money behind it and not a real exhibition of games for the public.
We aren't beholden to coming to E3; we make sure our fans know exactly what it is we're doing, and (quite frankly), its not like we're adding much to what's become a five part list of the same games coming to 3 increasingly similar platforms,which focus almost exclusively on Western developed games from only the biggest companies.
This will be our last E3, because Space World Wil be coming back.
Also, F-Zero will launch with NX, as will a new Animal Crossing (featuring a new MMO metropolis that will feature the home office for HHA, a user run flea market, an arcade featuring old forgotten Nintendo games, a hotel for previous villagers, and hints about amiibo support), two amiibo based series (an rpg series with figures and another using amiibo cards), and new Wario World game.
And Mother 3 as Earthbound Final.
>>339843653
Isn't the original offer for Nntendo to use thier translation still on the table?
I sell it to Sony.
>>339843775
>make an Animal Crossing and Tomodachi Life on the system so the girly/Tumblr considers buying the console
0/10 go fuck yourself
>>339840173
Are you actually the new CEO of Nintendo? Because that's how I can imagine them destroying the franchise even further.
new IP co-developed with retro
>>339844165
Are you implying the majority of its current fandom isn't like that?
I can't do anything within a week.
Scrap the Paper Mario garbage.
I don't know what I should do in one week to make up for a decade of mismanagement. I'd need at least a year to fix the shit Nintendo produced.
>>339844250
Yes. Yeah, a bunch of fags complained about Homodachi Life but everyone love AC.
>implying there's time to put together anything more than concept art for about 5 good videogames that I need to appoint and have pass the drawing board in the next 2 weeks
I don't think it can be done. If I were CEO today, I'd present what we have because I have no time for anything else. MechaKirby it is. We would show Sun and Moon, but Game Freak doesn't let us post videos of it without thier permission.not a cuck, I swear
>>339840173
Summer's here boys
>>339844127
Yeah but then it would mean Nintendo acknowledges roms or some shit
The NX.
>>339839669
Live hanging of Sakamoto, Tanabe, Miyamoto, Takeda,and Reggie
>>339839669
A big ass Mario pizza, and a single booth with Animal Crossing U.
>>339844592
you forgot Aonuma and Sakurai, dumbass.
>>339839669
Hire Kojima, Del Toro and IP rights of Silent Hill, MGS except pachinko machines in Japan. Konami can make whatever they want with pachinkos.
>>339844416
I'm not complaining about them, I've been playing AC since it started in America, but it came to an all-new high with New Leaf thanks to girl players.
>>339844592
This, but Muppet versions
>>339839669
PIXAR MOVIES
ANIME SERIES
STEAM LIKE PC SERVICE FOR RETRO GAMES
>>339839669
My cock.
>>339839669
We are like a week away from e3. What could Nintendo possibly push out from nothing?
Fire all the old hacks, sell the company to Sony. Make millions and save the industry.
>>339844870
>STEAM LIKE PC SERVICE FOR RETRO GAMES
why not all nintendo games
their retro stuff can be emulated very easily
>>339840173
Ironically, this was the major reason why Nintendo wanted to back out of the PlayStation, as said console would effectively become Sony's. A few years down the line, a hostile takeover would be imminent.
>>339844543
They didn't say shit about the fact that thier release of Mother 1 is literally the rom of the original localization from 1990, so I doubt they'll give any acknowledgement other than a mention of "fan devotion".
Go 3rd party
Then I can sell my Wii U and not buy an NX
>>339845126
Why not Microsoft? They would probably take care of Nintendo IP better
Sony is a shitty company
>>339841929
Nintendo still has billions in the bank from fucking 100 years ago when they made cards.
Sadly enough even if Nintendo continues down the path of pathetic and shitty decisions for another 10 years they would still be more than able to continue making games and consoles.
I'd just say fuck E3.
Make the NX, but let it be modular so that you can just swap out parts with upgrade kits, or even small parts (refer to the expansion pak days).
Allow an open system so that you can use legacy Nintendo accessories and controllers, whether it's the U gamepad or all the way back to the GC controller.
I mean for christ's sake, the GC even had expansion ports on the bottom. That was a good idea, so let's see that same shit be put to use.
If Nintendo wishes to remain relevant, they have to stop pumping out Wii U Pro 2.0 3DS XL Lite i Special Zelda Edition so fucking often and relying on "new improved" models. All they're doing is making a whole lot of overpriced junk and then abandoning it a short time later. Enough of this bullshit, settle down Nintendo and invest your resources in one good console that will last you years.
Buy the rights to Thunder Force and make a god-tier Shmup and announce it
also announce a new metroid and F-Zero
>>339839669
Release a modern Geist and Mach Rider.
Retro gets Geist and Platinum gets Mach Rider.
The video game market is a doggy dog world, so unscrupulous business practices are diamond dozen. Allow me to play doubles advocate and suggest that Nintendo start investing in the smaller Japanese developers who only make games for Sony consoles. Acquire a controlling share in said companies and forbid them from making games for Sony consoles. One you strip Sony of Japanese developers, they will be nothing.
>but that's anticompetitive!
But making games exclusively for PS consoles, despite not even being funded by Sony, isn't?
Fzero
METROID
New 3d Mario in the same style as 64/sunshine
Console Pokemon game that has crossplay with the two new 3ds poke games
New zelda
1 new IP
>EASY MONEY
>>339845294
This; they could just pull out of the I ternational market altogether and still be a huge comapny. Hell, I think they're STILL Japan's major card manufacturer.
-show the NX
-Online gaming is now a thing on nintendo consoles, also it's free and you get nice shit by linking it to your new nintendo account system (the one from miitomo)
-show new zelda trailer and wii u version will be out for christmas, will be nx launch title
-show a new experimental open world mario title similar to 64 for nx but bigger and mario uses his smash moves, has god-tier orchestated music and enough plot to keep adults and kids entertained
-release a disney infinity ripoff to keep amiibos useful
-f-zero returns and use amiibo feature so you can use any amiibo character as racer
-metroid prime 4 for wii u trailer
-good 2-d metroid with 3-d models, nx version and 3ds version, can be linked
-big third party titles being worked for nx, fifa, assassins creed, new COD, battlefield 1, that sort of popular games
-3ds update and discounts for series that have upcoming titles
-pokemon sun & moon events for giveaway pokemons
-show pokemon GO on-stage
-GCN virtual console on nx
-reggie does a backflip and walk off stage
>>339840173
nice bait my friend
>>339840173
I wish I could hate you to death.
>>339842559
>Open world Pokemon MMO
>>339843775
the gyro is the best thing about the controller nigga
>>339845938
>He thinks Nintendo can ever get close to beating Sony
Stupid Nintencuck
Nintendo Beach Volleyball Extreme
Senran Kagura Versus Nintendo
Skinship standalone game for Wii U in 1080p
Mobile app about collecting cards from lewd Nintendo girls
Hire ricegnat to design and draw them
I'd play a Metroid game made by Bioware where you play as a self insert bounty hunter who ends up getting wrapped in a adventure searching for the missing Samus Aran
pokemon mmo
>>339839669
Nothing, because the company cannot physically promise what I'd want to make. It's my belief their current internal developers are completely inept, and are completely incapable of producing anything that isn't casual trash or that does not have a gimmick attached to it to hold their hand through the development cycle because they're creatively dead.
>>339839669
Stop making console and just make games
>>339839669
Actually honestly explain what the NX is, at least to some extent.
They gave us a launch period before even explaining what the bloody fuck it's supposed to be. How the hell is anyone supposed to look forward to a giant blank?
>>339848356
Honestly, after 26 years this is where I'm at now too. I grew up with them, but it's become extremely apparent they have no idea what the fuck they're doing anymore and have become reliant on gimmicks as their crutch. I just want them to focus on pushing boundaries of game design, not be an extension of whatever shit they're trying to push at that moment.
>Direct starts
>beginning animation & interlace skits handled by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon
>2 minutes dedicated to sale-speak to please investors
>3 minutes dedicated to new main Pokemon games
>3 minutes dedicated to a Pokemon X Story of Seasons crossover
>3-minute world premiere trailer for Fire Emblem Warriors
>3-minute world premiere trailer for F-Zero NX
>3-minute world premiere trailer for Kid Icarus Uprising 2
>2-minute discussion on a Nintendo All-Stars Picross
>4 minutes dedicated to Virtual Console releases and deals
>7 minutes dedicated to 3rd party releases
>2 minutes dedicated to Amiibo and other assorted merchandise
>3-minute world premiere trailer for a new 3D Mario that harkens back to the N64/Sunshine era followed by a 4-minute developer insider
>couple minutes dedicated to behind the scenes work
>couple minutes dedicated to DLC depending on the game in question
>2 minutes thanking the audience for being Nintendo fans and promising to actually listen to all ends of the spectrum, no bullshit
>fuck off phoneshit and indieshit
That's what I got.
Goatse live on stage.
>>339839669
>Get the entire NoA staff on stage and fire them
>Announce that NoE will be doing all the job from now
>Let Shibata dance while cosplaying for the next hour
Done.
>>339839669
my cock inside TP Zelda's pussy.
>>339839669
I would make a cheap console that supports tv streaming and has games for children and non core gamers like Wii-fit/Singstar.
>>339839669
Pocket Monster Hunter. G on 3DS/NX and Z on WiiU. Both versions are compatable with each other and can transfer specific pocket monster helpers between versions.
Nintendo+Capcom proceed to take control of Japan.
Entire GCN catalog on virtual console.
Announce God hand 2.
