ITT: Post your best personal DF adventure mode stories and/or your favourites from other people
>>339646062
would love to contribute but I only have fortress stories so i guess ill just leave your thread in peace
>Pick up dorf fort forever ago
>Like games with unnecessary clutter
>Get Masterwork
>Building fort
>Attacked by centaurs like 15 minutes into it
>They don't really do much. Just harass the fisherdorfs. Hunterdorfs dispatch most of them.
>Just go back to digging out the fort
>A while passes
>Notice there's a battle log available
>Wait, what? Did a crocodile sneak into the dining hall again?
>Open battle log
>Hunterdorf shoots a bolt at centaur!
>Hunderdorf is out of ammunition!
>The bolt strikes the centaur in the stomach, embedding in the flesh
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
>Literally six pages of this
>Zoom too
>Long ass green and yellow vomit and red blood trail following the river
>For MONTHS this centaur was literally clawing his way along the riverbank trying to escape, constantly vomiting and passing out
>Another game
>Digging a moat to turtle up and see if I can be completely self sustaining underground
>Game pauses, zooms, and reports "A werelizard is attacking!"
>Didn't even start a militia
>Fuckfuckfuck
>Werelizard comes sprinting through the woods at about fifteen sonics
>Wonder if I should even bother digging out a tomb
>Werelizard crashes into a horse and eviscerates it
>Blood and horse body parts go everywhere, up to 10 tiles away
>Werelizard transforms back into a naked dorf immediately after slaughtering the horse
>Naked dorf goes sprinting off into the woods
>Never saw him again
Dorf Fort is neat.
Someone post that adventure that happened with /v/
>Get bored with fort and dig into hell, unleashed all them demons
>Try to get back to fort in adventure mode
>Everything in the general area of my old fort is dead and abandoned
>Walk into abandoned fort
>Only thing in there is a chained up rat demon
>Free him, he declares loyalty to me
>Holy shit, he just wrecks everything. I don't even need to fight, rips all enemies in half
>Get closer and closer to fort
>Occasionally encounter a demon in random encouters, Rat Demon saves my ass everytime
>But, eventually I run into a demon that instakills my rat
>I use stealth to run away
>But the demon catches up with me right away everytime
>see a nearby frozen lake, decide to take my chances
>As I move into the frozen lake, he stops pursing me
>Both my legs are broken at this point, so I'm just crawling along the ice
>Crawling for over a week, just holding down the movement keys
>After awhile my movement gets stopped with a "Are you sure you want to enter that water?" prompt
>what
>look around, there's now patches of water everywhere
>Check date, spring just started
>I die of drowing in the middle of a lake as it thaws around me.
>be weakass adventurer
>kill shitty aligator recruit
>i'm now a legendary hero apparently
>Soldiers respect me
>decides to recruit two lads to live up to everyone's expectations
>we're doing good, killing some beasts and bandits
>finally it is time
>there's a dragon lair not far from where we were
>we decide to put an end to the beast
>the swordsman was the first to fall down
>there was only the hammerman and me left
>the dragon munch my arm
>he shakes it and i am now with only one arm
>my other companion ko'd the dragon but sadly bled out
>it's only me now, i need to finish the beast
I then created some figurines in their honor in the bones of the beast.
>i'm now a depressed one-armed veteran
>decides that i will destroy all beasts to avenge my companions
>recruit some younguns to help me in my quests
>those idiots only think about killing crabs
>when we actually fight a beast half of them flee
>for fuck sake
>we still manage to kill it
>we go back to the village to announce the good news
>there's apparently a necromancer tower to the south
>let's fuck them up
>the massacre begin
>for us
>i can't let them get killed we need to run
>we're only three to survive
>i need to find a way to kill those necromancers
>we then hear about a vampire
>suddenly i have my answer
>If i can't defeat the undead i just have to become one of them
>we get to the vampire
>we kill him no problem
>i drink his blood while my companions aren't looking
>for their own safety i go alone to the necromancy tower
>as expected, the zombies do not care about me
>i kill all the necromancer and drink their blood (or the opposite)
>while i'm at it i decide to learn how to raise corpses myself
>i will destroy all the beast in the world and raise their corpses to destroy the rest
>and i will then off myself, therefore killing the last beast
And then i got melted by a dragon.
I think the most impressive thing was that my guy was a peasant outsider.
>>339648803
Clarification, I found the rat demon in some random fort, I never actually reached my ground zero dwarf fort
>>339647407
>The centaur retches
>The centaur vomits
>The centaur faints
oh god i'm dying
Amazing game, horrible UI and very unintuitive controls. I know toady doesnt want to revamp it but jesus fucking christ its what it needs.
>>339649660
this,the only hard thing about the game is getting used to that clusterfuck of an ui
>>339646062
I have none. I like DF but I get way too caught up in perfectionism whenever I make a fort. So my forts don't make it past 2 seasons.
Your best huh.
>build a minecart track that spirals 100+ levels down to the magma sea, sends an iron minecart through a special room that has been flooded with magma after tracks were carved into the rocks, and then hurtles it back up 100 levels to the surface where my metalsmiths can leisurely enjoy magma and charcoal free smelting
>dozens
>dozens of dwarves die constructing this
>some died because they were standing on the minecart track (mind you this thing is 1 tile wide because of its length I didn't make any space so to traverse it to pick up say a boulder or smooth a wall you have to walk directly down the track)
>some died because the carts kept taking turns too fast and spraying magma all over the tracks, dwarves, stairs (which meant magma would drip down the entire shaft) lots of magma everywhere but the place I need it basically
>a few children even died because they started playing with toys IN THE SPECIAL HOLDING CHAMBER FOR MAGMA THE MINECARTS RIDE THROUGH
>I lost my patience and just pulled the lever fuck children everyone says fuck children but I don't see everyone lifting iron floodgates and conflagration children
>get this whole thing built took like 2 real time hours and a year 1/2 in game
>end up getting bored and retiring because there's no challenges left to test my unquenchable metal industry or military equipped with masterwork steel weapons and armor
There.
Play Dwarf Fortress
>>339649815
Don't forget the random SJW bullshit they added into the game where everything can be gay, bi, or whateversexual.
fuck tody, still haven't found a mod to get rid of that bullshit and I can't be bothered to go through EVERY creature entry to get rid of the modifiers :(
Love Dort
Been meaning to compile the new version of Therapist to play again.
>Find a very rare group of crowmen in the wild
>Me: Hello! I am Atir Skyshanks!
>"Just now, I met Atir Skyshanks"
>"No one month ago, I slayed Atir Skyshanks"
>"That is terrific"
>"That is terrific"
>"It was inevitable"
>"To the east lies the Dunes of Shining. Go there and slay the beast Atir Skyshanks"
>"Moments ago, I slayed Atir Skyshanks"
>"That is terrificc"
>"That is terrificcc"
>"That is terrificccc"
>"That is terrificccc"
>"That is terrificcccc"
>Me: I slayed the vampire Tukstis Blar
>"I slayed the vampre Tukstis Blar"
>"I slayed the vapire Tukstis Blar"
>"I slayed the vampire Tkstis Blar"
>"I slayed the vampire Tuksis Blar"
>"I sayed the vampire Tukstis Blar"
>"I slayd the vampire Tukstis Blar"
>"I slayed the vampire Tuktis Blar"
>"It was inevitable"
What the fuck
[Had to edit some shit so system doesn't think my post is spam]
>>339650505
>all he did was add gay, bi, and asexual
>they are less than 10% of dwarves combined
>:(
Goobergate get the fuck out.
>>339650372
>>I lost my patience and just pulled the lever fuck children everyone says fuck children but I don't see everyone lifting iron floodgates and conflagration children
?????????
>>339650505
Nigger, fuck off with that Goofy Goober shit, no one here cares
>>339650505
>Homosexuality existing
>"sjw bullshit"
Laughing my ass off.
It's always nice to get a reminder that at least I'm not so soft that I'd get triggered over simple shit like this.
>>339646062
>Make a dozen forts
>use DFHack to prospect them after I've already settled in
>none of them contain hematite or copper
ffs
>>339646062
>/v/ used to love DF
>now /v/ loves e celeb drama and 'AAA' cash grabs
All these moments scoob
>spawn on top of roof
>can't climb down
>jump down
>break my legs
beyond quality
> make a fancy spiral ramp many levels deep
> it's the central pillar with exposed edge inside a cylinder shaft kind
> dwarves hauling rock by hand up the spiral
> one of the girls gives birth to a baby
> unpause
> game almost immediately re-pauses with the message that the baby died
> zoom to announcement because "lolwut?"
> dead baby at the bottom of the spiral
due to having no beds available, dwarves were sleeping where-ever. a married dwarven wife chose to sleep on the spiral, and happened to give birth at the time. since dwarves don't wake up when they give birth, the baby was free to wander. babies use the same pathing raving mad dwarves do, which means they ignore dangers like liquids, beasts, or seigers, and that includes lethal falls.
>ramp spiral was 20+z so the baby exploded on impact
>>339651347
I loved that bug.
The pure bewilderment of falling asleep in a house full of soapmakers and waking up on the roof is amusing to imagine.
>>339651318
(you)
>>339651493
Holy shit lmao
Did you quietly entomb the baby?
>>339651493
oh and the best part was because of the design of the spiral ramp sitting one tile away from the walls, there'd always be an uncleanable blood stain on the wallwhere baby body parts impacted and left splatter
These stories are all great. Not gonna reply to you all, but these are amazing.
>>339651493
>babies use the same pathing raving mad dwarves do
Interesting, I had no idea. I don't think I've ever seen a baby that wasn't in the possession of someone
Makes me want to make a baby rat maze.
>dog population getting out of control
>fuck it, i'm gonna butcher some of them
>i happened to be playing near a friend who loves dogs
>gets really angry that i am about to butcher dogs, says i'm no better than the chinese
>fine jeez
>put them all into war training, somehow he's okay with this
>they keep breeding
>end up with like 300 war dogs
>the war dogs are enough to take out sieges alone somehow
>fort dies of fps death soon after
at least seeing that many dogs swarm the goblins was funny as hell
>takes an hour to create a perfect character
>has my exact look
>built his values and personality exactly like my own
>perfect starter stats for myself
>starts in an elf town i thought cool
>i step out of my tree house
>hanging from branches
>figure "Can't be that far down"
>let go
>mfw Die on impact by breaking my actual entire body
>>339652180
>Train dozens of war dogs
>FPS is fine
>Have a godly soldier that I want to live no matter what
>Assign every dog to the same guy
>He becomes a walking traffic jam
>everywhere he goes, Dwarves spend hours just trying to get around his dogswarm
>training the barracks grinds to a half; sparring partners can rarely get near each other
>FPS dies
>"Once a dog is assigned to a dwarf it can not be unassigned nor placed in a cage."
Oops
>>339651714
it was a older version where dwarves were immediately aware of a death, even in an isolated room with no witnesses. i think i checked the mothers' thoughts after, but there would definitely have been a sad thought over the loss of a child.
if something like this happened in the current version, the moment someone went to get to the bottom of the spiral ramp they'd notice the bodypartsand the entire fort would become aware of it, including the sleeping mother.
the cruelty of the current version would be far worse though:
dwarves in the meeting zones and rooms are capable of socializing/telling stories, like the times when dwarves do things, like make masterworks or die... like baby dwarves dying.
> the mom walks into the meeting area
> hears the story about how her baby died
i'm almost certain Toady has coded it so dwarves will begin to cry if the story is relevant to them, since you can do similar things in adventure mode, and the fort mode uses the same system.
> unintentionally, dwarves are assholes who tell dead baby stories while the mother is still in the area, listening
> its a relatively young fortress so that's the only story that gets told
I managed to recover from 2 dwarfs left after a tantrum killed about 90 since i didn't know what to do about the rotting clothing crisis
i really liked the fort and really didnt want to just drop it and watched the depressed dwarfs suicide and kill each other and then like 30 migrants arrived i actually managed to organize it again
I posted this on /dfg/ ages ago, favorite story of mine
>digging and building as normal. Have 4 squads being trained. Each has a handful of masters in various weapons (including one marksman squad) and a bunch of vets
>Dig too deep, encounter a forgotten beast. He appeared in the massive gold mine I found down in the second cavern.
>Send 4 squads down
>The beast kills a few things down there then tries to come up my stairwell, running in to like 15 dorfs
>It spits webs, fuck
>Dorfs are trapped on one square above the beast while it spits webs constantly. Literally constantly. For 3 months. Seasons fucking change and this thing is just spitting webs.
>Military begins dying of thirst and hunger
>A dog manages to escape and somehow knocks the beast back down a flight, where it fleets down to the caverns, followed shortly by the now freed, starving military
>The beast is using a bunch of single tile wide halls to fight, throwing webs at anything that enters its line of sight and pushing them back to a wall.
>They finally manage to get up to it, and hit it... But it's made of bronze. These dorfs do next to nothing but dent the beast.
>It begins throwing them left and right, webbing the dogs and marksman and causing chaos
>One by one the dorfs die, slowly but surely, and the hospital is doing it's best to drag these half dead dorfs up like 60 z-levels, but only managing some due to fear of the beast
>Have to begin replacing squad members. Clad in steel, fresh recruits with no training are sent into the fray as soon as one dorf falls
>Battle goes on for 2 seasons without victory in sight, down from 150 to 70 or so dorfs
>Finally, one brave newcomer to the fort decides he's had enough and cleaves the bronze beast in two, severing its upper and lower halves
>The fort is in shambles. Hospital is full beyond belief, dozens dead, food stocks low, industry has all but stopped in its tracks. I begin to drag everything up 60 z-levels and repair
Cont in next post.
is stress fixed yet?
i haven't had a single tantrum or unhappy dwarf yet
>>339646062
>pick up DF because of /tg/ years ago, probably around 2011 or 2012
>can't see anything
>game is impossible for colorblind people
> I have to be honest. This month was kind of a mess. The 64 bit compiler trashed our main computer which we couldn't really afford to fix.
rip
>>339652730
cont
>Suddenly another message. A dragon has appeared!
>Within seconds the entire surface is aflame, grazing animals turned into ash instantly.
>It begins moving toward my fort, slowly but surely
>Have some traps set up, but the beast is massive and they either do nothing or are not even triggered
>Suddenly, elven caravan!
>Elves decide it's a good time to trade and begin to walk toward my fort entrance, now dragon infested, with a vigor only powered by stupidity.
>Seeing the opportunity, I send what's left of my ragtag military (two dorfs are fighting on crutches the fuck) to join them
>huge battle with 2 dozen combatants against a fire breathing beast of death. Eventually, a marksman gets the dragon in the head, though not before my fort population is down to like 40 or 50.
>Think I'll get a break, but the universe has decided to bring all of its weapons to bare.
>A dark force approaches!
>2 Elven mercs and 40 dorfs stand against dozens and dozens of gobbo's with beasts.
>Draft literally everybody and hide them behind the reset traps.
>The goblins see nothing to fear and charge in, half of their beasts being cut down in a hail of blades and rocks. The other enter hand to hand combat with what's left of my fort, easily killing the elven mercs.
>The battle rages for a while, and finally dies down. We've won, we've survived.
>Population: 27
>I begin to rebuild.
>>339652940
Plenty of decent tilesets come with the Lazy Newb Pack. 90% of the time specific colors in Dwarf Fort aren't important if you're using a tileset that has unique sprites for things.
>>339653492
Maybe I'll give the game another shot then, thanks for the tip.You just lost the game.
>>339646062
I once sent the only military dwarf with any real skill in my fort (due to killing everything before anyone else could really get hits in) to go pick a fight with a giant desert scorpion that was in the process of murdering a caravan, as the rest of the squad was busy slaughtering assorted cavern creatures. He managed to lop it's tail off with his first strike, saving him from death by necrosis, but the scorpion disarmed him and proceeded to chop off both his legs. The brave dwarf managed to cave it's head in with his shield before somehow avoiding death by bleeding and hobbling back to the fortress.
From that point on, he never got to combat in time to steal all the kills, but he still murdered hordes of goblins in sieges with an artifact steel battleaxe, somehow dodging attacks.
>>339646062
After beating up shit tons of ogres and hobgoblins and shit, I finally get a real quest
A Titan, an ungodly horror taken form and terrorizing the nation
I travel long and far just to take down this almighty beast, and with a band of brave companions I finally get to its cave
...it's a giant ball of water with a scorpion tailI threw a bolt at it and it exploded
>>339653974
You should've named him Peppy, because he clearly dodged by doing literal Barrel rolls.
>>339653974
Only a flesh wound
>>339650372
Did you dig down to the hidden fun stuff?
>>339654428
Nigga wat.
>>339653974
Giant desert scorpions are actually capable of firing crossbows provided they manage to disarm someone holding bolts.
>>339654634
not anymorerip giant desert scorp you will be missed ;_;7
>>339654749
W-wait, they fixed that?
Why? It was fucking amazing.
>>339654863
the giant desert scorpion was removed from the game
but only temporarily
>>339654428
>>339654540
he changed the attack names in the raws to silly shit
This happened in the pre-2012 days. I forget which version.
>Be adventure human
>Get bored of fighting mundane wild animals, decide to go around challenging village warmasters
>Arrive in a village I had previously caused trouble in
>Sneak into the tavern
>The entire village is there
>Try to sneak past them
>Spotted
>Crossbowman takes a shot at me
>Crossbow bolt misses and hits one of the villager
>Villager strikes back
>Crossbowman's friends join in the fight
>Villager's friends join in as well
>A full-on bar brawl breaks out in the tavern
>Rush upstairs, taking a few heads along the way
>Kill the warmaster, patiently wait out the brawl
>Fighting finally dies down
>Sneak downstairs, two people remain
>They're friendly
>They want to join me
>Accept them and ask them about themselves
>One of them mentions his father who was recently killed
>He says I was the killer
>>339655834
How did you live with the pain
>>339656191
Gutter cruor and wombat heart biscuits
>>339650505
But adding all those sexualities to DF is a good thing, anon.Or did you not want to sacrifice those heathen degenerate faggots to Armok in a specially constructed altar at the caldera of a volcano?
>>339650505
>still haven't found a mod to get rid of that bullshit
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Creature_token#O
Literally right fucking there
Under the male caste copy/paste
[ORIENTATION:MALE:1:0:0]
[ORIENTATION:FEMALE:0:0:1]
and under the female caste copy/paste
[ORIENTATION:MALE:0:0:1]
[ORIENTATION:FEMALE:1:0:0]
>>339654634
hahaha! i fucking love dorf fort
i once got bored and turned an entire town into thralls
bump
This story is about a fortress called Forestmoss. This fortress was rich with marble, silver and gold. But as always, the dwarves were greedy for adamantine. They dug into a adamantine vein and uncovered a hole that lead straight to hell. The 3 eyed vultures made of fire and winged copper tarantulas spewed out and took the bottom 3 caverns that were below the fortress. Thankfully the dwarves were able to seal up those caverns.
Instead of giving up, the military was expanded to 60 dwarves and for the next 4 years they trained. All of the adamantine that was mined was forged into weapons and armor that could be used to fight the daemons from hell. When all the dwarves were ready for battle, the cave leading down to the daemon infested caverns was open and the dwarves ran down to take back the caverns. Most dwarves were killed by feathered flies that secreted a gas that put the dwarves to sleep and they would be killed by winged snails or flying copper tarantulas. Instead of taking back all three caverns, the dwarves were only able to seal off the stairway down to the bottom two caverns.
That was all fine and good, but the real interesting story happened after all the fighting. A single piece of raw adamantine was found in the stockpiles after the battle. All the adamantine was used to equip the militia, so the existence of this single piece of adamantine was a huge mystery. The only piece of adamantine that was unclaimed came from the wall that let the daemons out from their eerie glowing pits.
That meant that during the fighting, a single dwarf ran down three daemon infested caverns, grabbed a giant hunk of adamantine, then wobbled back up those same three layers of hell that took the lives of so many well trained dwarf warriors.
And to this day, I have no fucking clue who did it.
>>339661225
>flying copper tarantulas
>play dwarf fortress
>get used to that "perfect" map from the forums
>new update is out
>more Z levels
>lava 300 levels down
>no pits
>spend hours trying to find a good map
>every fucking time I try to start a game
has somebody made another "dwarf paradise" map? I dont think thats the right name, but the one everyone used before the aprils fools update several years ago.
I've always wanted to play this game, and these stories only make me want to play it more. What's the easiest way for someone to get into the game?
>Bloated Eyeless Cuckoo FB
>Beware it's fire
>Two mid-level sworddwarves get caught fighting it alone while the rest of my military watches from the other end a large fire
>Somehow survive long enough, the fire spreads throughout the caverns and eventually Urist McHammerlord comes through
>A bit of normal fighting, then he punches the FB through the chest into his right lung
>Cavern hasn't stopped burning since
>>339662616
Watch a "how to" video as you play and set aside 2-3 hours to focus on learning. Thats how I learned to play.
>>339662616
Play along with capnduck in his tutorials.
>>339662616
http://lazynewbpack.com/
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Quickstart_guide
>>339662616
Play with the wiki open.
If something is marked as spoilers, don't read it.
>>339662616
Learn quickly that the order of things that you can build make no damn sense. You must learn what everything does even if you normally would never use it such as beehives.
>>339662898
>>339662932
>>339662978
>>339663069
>>339663143
Thanks, I'll look into it.
>>339664361
And one question, are elves a thing in this game?
Can I preform mass genocide?
>>339665230
> dwarves need charcoal in the steel industry if there's no other fuel sources around
> elves run an ecological extortion racket involving lumber
Take a guess.
>>339665624
> "Elves"
> /pol/
>>3396658352catLMAO
>>339665835
>>339665936
I'll edit that in to the image.
>dwarf goes into a fey mood
>can't make his artifact
>goes berserk in the mess hall
>send in my military, forgetting they still had training weapons equipped
>minutes later they finally subdue the dwarf
>"huh, none of the military dwarfs got hurt?"
>check the combat log
>multiple pages of the crazy dwarf punching a baby in the kidneys and ripping off his toes
>realized I drafted a mother into the army and she was holding her baby the entire fight
>seasons pass, baby grows up into a sickly, slow cripple child
That fort taught me mother dwarfs are not great military dwarfs andto expect a full fucking onslaught of warbears the 2nd spring if you start at war with elves
>>339650505
>only male cat you brought along to breed the females turns out to be gay
nah fuck this shit
>>339667476
This already got fixed a while ago.
>A fort where I was testing out a new design feature
>Large open air spiral ramp/staircase in the center of the fort
>Working well, cleared out nearly 6 z-levels worth of this central chamber that the ramps spiral around
>Fuck efficiency by the way
>Dwarf goes fey
>Wants cave spider silk
>He can go suck a fat one
>Proceeds to suck a fat one
>And get really angry
>Punts 5 war dogs all over the workshop area
>Half-trained militia comes in to quell the one man riot
>Milita with half of their body missing fly out
>Only one brave sword dwarf recruit remains
>Doesn't know which end of the sharp object hurts the guy
>But he doesn't fucking need to know
>Sprints at the berserk dwarf
>Tackles him
>Into the central pit
>And they fall
>and fall
>and fall
>Then splat
>With baited breath I unpause
>Milita dwarf gets off the corpse and walks away
It's not the fall that kills you.
It's the sudden stop.But his lungs were crushed and he died 5 steps later.
>>339667604
Animals can't be gay. It doesn't happen
>>339668170
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals
>>339668170
But people are just animals.
>>339647407
>Werelizard transforms back into a naked dorf immediately after slaughtering the horse
>Naked dorf goes sprinting off into the woods
>Never saw him again
>>339662978
I want to get the starter set, but some people are saying it has a trojan and other people are saying it doesn't.
Can someone confirm if it's safe?
>>339646062
>attacked by wereanteater
>loads of cunts infected and dying
>try to make a hospital
>flood my entire fort oops
>my land was kinda cool and had mountains either side of a river, so i just move to the other side
>about 5 dwarves out of 80 make it alive
>elect mayor
>severe depression from his wife family and everyone he knew dying, stressed to insanity, body mangled beyond recognition from fighting
>inspect his items - "dwarf tears"
>feel super sad for making his life miserable
>decide to make him a kingly room where he will live out the rest of his life decorated with gold and gems
>finally dies, lay him to rest, leave fort
this was quite a while ago
recently i went back in an adventure mode and saw the carnage
bought back nice memories of learning the game
Do you guys use any tilesets?
bumping, this thread shouldn't die
>fortress keeps getting animal people
>they keep petitioning
>let them in, make really shitty rooms for them
>eventually i have like 30 different animal people
>ENOUGH
>lay off my dorf military, draft all animal people into the military, hoping they'll die in combat
>they just won't die
>they come out of every conflict with with relatively minor injuries
>untouchable, best military I've ever had
>realize that i forgot to unarm them
oops
later on i got bored because nothing could kill us that i decided to remove all their weapons and armor
they all died...except for one. heavy sustained injuries, but he still survived, but he lost the ability to grasp in his right hand
i read his combat log, and it was just pages of an elephant man just punching goblins in the head, and they all exploded violently
i retired him and made him a real nice room
you go, elephant man.
>>339671043
nah, you actually get used to the look of things. it's also best if you get used to "lookig" (k) and seeing if some chicken isn't a vampire
>>339669128
lazy newb pack isn't necessary. just get the game directly and use the wiki.
99% of setting up dwarf fortress for what you want is literally copy/paste from the fuckin wiki. not even joking.
>>339662616
Some people might want to lynch me for this, buttry Gnomoria first. It's much easier to learn and get into, nowhere near as deep, but essentially the same gameplay style but with Gnomes and an actual user-friendly UI instead.
Then go and try DF with the lazynewbpack.
Really, noone's posted Boatmurdered?
http://lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/
Fun fact: Kobold's eyes glow in the dark as yellow "s.
A one-eyed kobold shows up as a '.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40mwrfXdtRw
I've been thinking of trying this game out, but im not really a fan of what I heard of the normal mode. Is adventure mode drastically different enough? Also how is character creation for it? Can I only play as a dwarf etc. etc.
>>339671054
I once had a crabman who ripped a troll's head off.
I swear to god I saw a crossbow bolt bounce off his head once.
Ended up decking him out in admantine so could go full Sundowner.
>>339673049
You can be a dwarf, elf, human, or a bunch of other minor races which include all sorts of weird animal-people and humanoid monsters. There's also a lot of mods for adventure mode.
Adventure mode plays nothing like fortress.
>>339672681
everyone's read boatmurdered
but the REAL best story of dorf fort is roomcarnage
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=139393.0
>>339673139
>One day find a slugman and batman fighting each other in the wilderness
>Not a lot is happening, just pathetic whiffs from the slug to hit the bat
>In fact, none of his attempts even so much as land
>Look at slug's status
>His eye stalks have been torn off
>They are in the bat's hands
>The batman blinded the slug and is now taunting the guy
>http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Mosquito_man
Alright, which of you did this? Fess up.
>start new adventure
>spawn on roof
>wat
>whatever jump off
>oh it wasnt one level down here
>it was 3
>break both legs
>bleed out
gg no re
>>339673387i don't get it
>>339673306
Ah cool, ill probably play a human since Im not a huge fan of dwarves, elves are shits though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjHclWPVij0
>>339673936Bane?
>>339674745now i get it
>>339651319
tears in the rain. lost like tears in the rain
>>339665230
It's pretty much inevitable elf genocide will happen at one point, even if you yourself are an elf.
>>339673643
That's pretty sick. What movie?
>>339675589
>Start my DF experience way back in the 2D version
>Friend tells me elves are fucks and not to trust them
>I'm sure I can rise above these racial tensions
>Elf caravan comes
>2 crates of nothing but cloth
>Next year
>8 crates of nothing but cloth
>Next year
>30 crates of nothing but cloth
>Tell them to fuck off with the cloth
>They send grandmaster elf ninja archers with wooden arrows that can pierce every organ in the body in one shot
Elves are fucks.
Final nail in the coffin was seeing what they do when they win a war.
>>339646062
>have decently successful fort going
>my mayor suddenly decides to not wear pants
>he is very upset that he doesn`t have pants
>mass produce pants to sate his thirst
>it`s not enough
>mayor berserks
>spends the next in game year killing a baby in his room, which i locked him in
>eventually starves to death
>>339673307
Well shit, there goes the rest of my night. Probably tomorrow, too.Thanks! Seriously, not sarcastically
>>339673307
>FROZEN VOLCANO COVERED IN BLOOD
Can it even get any more metal?
>>339676375
>>339676452
just keep in mind it's not finished yet
i think it updates every few months, the guy's a teacher somewhere, i think
>>339675894
The clone wars
>>339673387
Funny. The ad service runs a mosquitoe control awareness ad on that page.
I didn't know those ad programs where content aware. That's really neat.
![9d98a9bd3aa12859f20f1fbe112feadd[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Y9KIVsU.png "9d98a9bd3aa12859f20f1fbe112feadd[1].png")
>settle in Evil area, don't remember what biome
>instantly dig down, seal the upside, manage to build the basics like air locks, cage trap systems, trash crushing area etc. in place and even get some immigrant groups through the outside carnage
>suddenly dwarf mother gets a strange mood and occupies a workshop with her baby
>requires BONES, which I don't have for obvious reasons like no traders or any animals
>in fear of her lashing out, wall her and her baby inside the workshop
>surely enough she goes berserk and smashes her own baby to pieces
>baby parts and mom fight until the latter is also dead
>imagine the other dwarves hearing zombified cries from the walled portion of workshop area
I wasn't even trying to be horrible on purpose, I just took the necessary measures intended to safeguard the survival of the fort.
>>339677425
Should've buried that dorf under a cave-in anon
>>339675901
w-what do they do?
>>339678291
When they win a war, elves will gather up all the survivors.And eat them.
>>339671043
you calling me a faggot, boy?
>>339648803
This shit reminds me of Diablo honestly.
>>339650505
LOL
let's laugh at this sad fuck until he leaves
>>339677425
>smashes her own baby to pieces
what the FUCK is wrong with dwarves
>>339650703
I love glitched dialogue.
>"I died"
>"in a time before time, somebody attacked somebody"
>"in a time before time, I attacked me"
>>339680437
They're all batshit schizophrenics only held together by alcohol.
Military dwarven mothers carry their babies into battle and they end up being used as meatshields.
>>339646062
>play as wrestler
>choke people out continuously
>gaining exp
>eventually become strongest man alive
>start choking someone
>pinch
>their fucking head flies off
>go into battle against a battalion of goblins
>they start attacking me
>nothing is fucking stopping me
>they keep trying to hit me but I'm too tough
>murder them all
>pic related
>>339650505
but that's realistic. In ancient times people were fucking almost anyone. look a rome where men fucked teenage boys.
Plus it adds difficulty to the game, for example livestock may be gay
Even i'm an alt right and i know this
