ITT: Rules you plan to set for your kids
1. You may only play Vidya after you finish your homework.
2. Any vidya must be age appropriate unless parent supervised
3. You will only recieve vidya on designated occasions such as christmas and birthday from me, if you want money, you'll work up an allowance, no if ands or buts
4. Your first Videogame will be Mega man 2. This is non negotiable and you will beat it before you are allowed anything else.
5. There will be no Sonic the hedgehog in this household. You will be disowned if I ever catch you with anything of that furry Antichrist.
>>339635620
I'm not buying my kids video games or any electronic device until they're at least over 12.
>>339636024
This
Video games fucked my life up, why would I do that to my kids?
>kids
Hopefully by then video games will be dead so my child doesn't grow up with a useless hobby
Way to make your children hate an otherwise passable game, and probably the entire franchise along with it.
>>339635620
>kids
i prefer money and free time
>>339635620
Forcing them to play your favorite game is stupid.
It won't help give them good taste.
Give them a range of solid games to pick from.
Let them choose what they like from a curated list.
Then, they aren't just drones following your dumb ass...
>>339637180
>>339636735
My children can be gay.
My children can be homocidal maniacs
My children can even be SJW supporting liberals...
BUT MY CHILDREN WILL NOT BE CASUAL SCUM
>>339635620
not video games
>>339635620
you sound like a horrible parent
>>339637362
Just get them into speedrunning, then.
>>339637494
>Sonic
>Mega man
>Not vidya
You got corn in your ears?
>>339635620
>no Sonic The Hedgehog
>>339637585
>ears
boi I sure do love listening to /v/!
>>339635620
>Implying I will have kids
My daughterfu will never touch vidya I will tell her to pick up tennis or some refined sport
>That terrifying realization when the previous generation of parents forcing their kids to be successes and follow their careers to keep up their image, is now applicable to "Gamers" and their Gamer cred
>kids
Enjoy JUSTing yourself.
>all those /v/irgins implying they'll ever get a kid
TOP FUCKING KEK
>>339637883
>Dads wall of trophies and accolades is a picture frame with printed screenshots of Xbox and Steam achievements
>>339635620
>age appropiate
Thanks to That i ended up bieng the least popular kid in shool
>couldnt play GTA SA cause muh M
>couldnt play A FUCKING FINAL FANTASY game cause T
>But everyone could
Fuck you op You are a bad parent
>>339638505
>Being exposed to the vulgar shit that goes on in GTA as a kid
Your parents did you a favor. We had enough wannabe rapper gangsters shitting up the streets and getting into trouble.
>>339635620
I will try my hardest to play video games secretly so that my child will never be interested in them. My life was shit until I hit 18 because video games all the time turned me into a lazy sack of shit that never left my bedroom because I was playing video games all the time. Any parent that tries to get their kids to like video games is an absolute shit tier parent that is condemning their child to a life of depression and regret.
You must take at least one extracircular activity, whether that's sports, music, or something else.
If your grades are all B or better, then we can talk vidya.
Nintendo games only, no degenerate trash like witcher cowadoody or whatever
>>339638718
>thinking What happens on a videogame happens irl
Someone call Thompson and Anita
>>339638505
Yeah, I remember I was 9 when FFX came out, and I wasn't allowed to get it because it had animated blood
>>339638975
>Thinking kids arent dumb shits who try to imitate what they see in media
Someone call a psychiatrist for this bozo.
>>339635620
No credit card info for this phone and I'm not buying you that stupid bling-armor. If I catch you making purchases on mine I'll beat your ass.
I had a half brother born when I was 13 and I tried so hard by the time I was 18 or so to not get his parents to let him play video games.
He's 11 now and plays casual bullshit all day every day and is even more of a brat than I was about playing. He also watches and adore's twitch streamers and LP'ers.
I feel bad he's going down the same path I did except at least I still had outdoor activity as a kid since online wasn't a thing yet. He plays 0 sports/instruments and has terrible coordination.
>"Stop playing cod and come shoot real guns in a 3 gun match with daddy"
I can only hope
>>339638779
Bullshit, you would be a lazy fuck even if video games weren't there.
>>339637569
Fucker makes my skin crawl.
>>339639460
This is actually pretty true. I had a few acquaintances growing up that weren't ever allowed to play video games and are even more lazy pieces of shit than me. Except all they do is drink and do drugs.
>>339635620
1. No vidya with autistic writing. People who like Sonic the Hedgehog or Kingdom Hearts were raised on piles of absolute dogshit brain tumor inducing writing. Won't let that happen.
>>339635620
>wanting kids
Nah, I enjoy money, free time, and sex way too much to ruin it with having children.
I'm at that age where all my buddies are settling down and having kids. They always give me shit like I'm gonna fall into the same trap. I can plainly see they're unhappy and just deluding themselves. Nobody wants a 2nd mortgage and to give up every second of free time to either work for money or work to keep your future entitled shit head alive. They try and tell me they're leaving a "legacy" behind or some shit. I just laugh since they don't even know where their great grand parents are even from or who they were. Some legacy, huh?
>>339635620
No particular rules, I just won't be buying him bad games and not anything too gory until at least teens. Even though I was playing GTA before I was ten, nope. Bad =/= popular, in fact, raising a normie who spends couple of hours with his football team in Call of Duty in weekends would be preferable so he could have everything I didn't.
If it's a girl, then she won't be interested in anything beyond phone games herself.
they only get to play JRPGS
>>339637734
>He doesn't put the page on a Microsoft Sam reel and go do something else while it plays
>>339635620
Kids these days don't care about playihng video games. He's just going to watch let's plays on youtube all day.
>Having kids and not adopting one
It's like you would rather have a chance of your child having birth defects or being hedious and not adopting a desirable kid
Aslong as they go outside, do as they're told and do their homework, they can play all they want.
This is what my dad did and it seems like the most reasonable thing.
>>339635620
This kind of Stalinist parenting will cause them to wither hate you or video games. Probably both.
Just make sure they don't play shit games.
>>339640150
>being a genetic cuck
impressive desu
>>339637362
>allowing your children to be SJWs
>>339639913
Yeah, I thought this too
Then I spent my free time drinking, fapping and playing video games. I was wafting in and out from feelings of neutrality to suicidal depression. I couldn't laugh anymore or even enjoy video games. The only time I felt human was when I drank a whole bottle of whiskey and listened to pirate songs on full blast. Then I noticed I need more and more booze to actually get fucked up and that shit costs too much money.
Now I have someone to protect and live for. That's worth 20 cases of booze. Plus, shit's just easier if you have someone on board with you on everything.
>>339639824
Oh, come on, the first Kingdom Hearts game got the whismical Disney vibe mixed with anime just right. After that I don't wanna know about.
>>339635620
>Not being the super cool bro parent that treats their child as an equal and lets them do whatever they want
>>339640039
>Okay son, today we're starting with SMT IV
>>339639913
>2016
>no longer need children to maintain your quality of life (ex: farmer needing sons to help with farm as you age, daughters to marry to other men in order to create business bonds, shit like that)
I'd really love to hear arguments by new parents about why they did what they did. Maybe its because its what everyone has been doing forever, or maybe they feel that they'd "enjoy it," as if having all your money be shovelled into this kid is enjoyable, not to mention to burden of not raising a sociopath or a NEET weabo
And its not like we need to procreate to maintain our fucking civilization either. Population growth is retarded as it is
>>339635620
>There will be no Sonic the hedgehog
At least let him play from 1 through 3&Knuckles
Those are good games!
>>339635620
>being a fucking faggot dad
Friend's dad did this gay shit when we were growing up. Banned Pokemon cards from entering the house too. Guess who never had anyone who wanted to stay over on the weekends?
>>339640556
>Not starting him on Nocturne
Dante is in it, so you can use that as a gateway into him playing Devil May Cry
>>339640529
That doesn't ever work right
>>339640759
That's why you sneak shit from your folks and get into trouble
You cant visit /v/
>>339635620
I intend to enforce rules 1 and 3 for my children. However, I'm more concerned with social media turning them into narcissistic little shits. Smartphones and apps like Snapchat are poisoning the minds of our youth much more that vidya ever has/will.
Regardless of all these advancements of mobile tech in the future, they won't have a smartphone during their youthful years, they will spend more time outside. They will use a basic flip-phone or touchscreen phone that doesn't use apps, until they are in their final school years before moving onto college/military.
Practically the same will go for anything social media. No Facebook-equivalent usage until they are practically ready for college/military.
>>339640529
This takes you to NEET loser country faster than you can say basement dweller.
1. As long as you get good grades you can do what you want provided it does not hurt you or others. If your grades start slipping I'll crack down on you.
>Not teaching them fightin games
>Not raising the strongest fightin game player ever
Its like you don't want to create a monster, imagine your child starting with all your knowledge and then learning more, its beautiful
>>339640418
If you say so man. Reading that I'd say you replaced one addiction with another, but that's from a brief paragraph here so don't take it too personally. I know people who felt like their kids "saved them" or they had no direction until having kids. For some I'd say that's fine and good. I know some where becoming a born again Christian did the same thing. I think the people who should be parents are people who genuinely want to have and raise kids. They turn into the best parents cuz they love their kid unconditionally which is all a kid needs at the end of the day.
Life has whatever meaning you want for it. If having kids does it for you, cool.
>>339640529
My parents were like that, letting me do and believe whatever i wanted.
There is something to be said for having some sort of direction
>>339640418
You could have just bought a pet a or planted a tree instead of ruining your life with such a burden.
>>339640668
having kids is cool. fun to hang out with when they get around 3 or 4
unfortunatly for you, you will have to get a woman to willingly fuck you atleast once
>>339640937
I'm sure he'll be real intimidated by you once he sees your stash of autistic anime reaction images, fucking weebshit.
>>339641278
Nope. Just rape someone and then go back to them after 9 months, kidnap them, take the child, boom. Free baby.
>>339640937
This. Vidya ruined my grades. I will not allow it to happen to my children.
>>339635620
>Forcing shitty outdated anything on your kid
All the 16 y/o expert parents in here.
Letting your kids do whatever the fuck they want is why we have the degenerate youth of today.
>>339640254
There is literally nothing wrong with the first three rules.
4 and 5 are kind of autistic and weird.
>>339641645
Well, it's that or alienating them in primary school levels. Having a mobile phone is now required for socialising, and absolutely indispensable from high-school on.
>>339641645
They won't have friends if they only know what you allow them to know.
>>339641839
I should have clarified that I meant rules 4 and 5.
If I ever have children I'll just hand em down my super nintendo, if it even works by then and if we still have it around in the family. I actually plan to give it and all the games I've recently accumulated to my nephew when he reaches 5 or 6, whatever my sister deems appropriate. She's really not the kind to let him get on cellphone garbage bullshit too, and she likes the older games anyway. Pretty hyped for him to grow up actually.
>>339635620
>all that shit
the only autist here is you, OP
>>339638964
"Nintendo only"
"No trash"
Pick one or the other faggot.
>>339640668
I've heard lots of reasons but most boil down to: I want to watch a smaller version of me learn and grow up. Essentially, it's ego driven.
>>339642184
>tfw only have a niece
Have fun with your cousin. Make sure he isn't an autistic faggot.
>>339635620
wow. /v/ came a long way. Looks like a middle age daddy forum at this point
>>339635620
I don't see myself having kids in the foreseeable future.
>>339639913
This, children are so gross and also make loud obnoxious crying noises
>>339638112
>tfw spic
It's happening whether I want it or not. Might as well prepare for it while I'm ahead.
>can only play vidya after homework
>no smartphones/tablets or youtube on the console
>encourage doing chores to earn an allowance, otherwise you'll only get vidya from christmas/birthdays
>buy/play whatever the fuck game you want
>shit gets taken away if you start slacking off or being a little shithead
I'm sure I'd make a pretty shit parent though.
>>339642345
I don't even think I even have to worry about that myself, sis is fucking hardcore about not raising a little shit. Kid will probably end up twice the man I am.
I'm just here to make sure he has good vidya taste. His father is pretty cool too, I think it's gonna be as much a gift to him as to the kid. Hopefully gaming is going to be a family thing instead of just him developing into an addicted shutoff.
>Tfw I wabt a life companion
>but dont want to throw all my dreams away for a family /marriage
Should I buy an ukrainian sex slave, pat her on the head and try to make her love me?
Or atleast my dick
>>339641854
You can allow kids to have phones without letting them do whatever the fuck they want. Your kids can have social lives without letting them do whatever they want. And having your kid be socially popular =/= good parenting. In fact it usually means the opposite.
When I feel my kid starts to rely too much on hand holding, i'm gonna buy an NES, or at least something that can play nes games, and force him to play battletoads until he beats it, without help. Until then, he's not allowed to go to any friend's house, have any friends over, and I wont get him anything he wants. My kids will need to EARN victory.
>>339635620
1. Video games are stupid play football my wife's son.
>>339635620
Kids don't even like video games anymore. They'd rather watch Markiplier play through a dozen games in a week rather than autistically play the only game your parents got you for your birthday for a year.
I assume by the time I have kids some other new stupid thing will be popular.
>>339641867
Myself and millions of others had rules and we all managed to have friends.
Maybe that is a you problem.
>>339635620
1) I will buy you new games only if you have nothing to play/you dislike the one you have right now/there is something really cool coming out
2) A game must be approved by me before you can buy it, so no GTA at age 8 and other shit like that
3) Emulators are allowed, but yet again, only approved games
4) You must play Sonic Adventure/Heroes to realise how stupidly bad Sonic is
5) No online games until the age 12, and no microphone is allowed
6) ALL YOUR SMARTPHONE STUFF IS REGULATED. No snapchat/vine/etc.
7) If I recieve a message from you containing more that 1 emoji we are going to have a talk
>>339643060
books?
>>339635620
>That Megaman 2 rule
As much as you're a faggot OP, I've genuinely thought of the exact same rule before.
>>339643009
yeah that won't happen. It's not like kids suddenly start being motivated to do whatever autistic thing you want them to. If you were an actual parent you'd realize pretty quick this kind of black and white thinking leads you nowhere.
You can be strict and enforce rules with your kids without having to turn it into an autistic power fantasy. The kid won't do it anyway, he'll just turn to something else and make your life miserable again.
>>339643158
Forgot to mention
8) No access to the Internet at all until the age of 12, and no cancer like Markiplier is allowed in this house
>>339643158
>7) If I recieve a message from you containing more that 1 emoji we are going to have a talk
I don't know why, but that's actually kind of funny
>>339635620
Plan on having family video game nights to reinforce the importance of using games as a way to socialize rather than playing games alone as a means of isolation.
Also, no moe or furry games.
>>339640529
>being your child's friend instead of parent
yeah no
>>339643091
Times change. What might have worked in 2006 doesn't work any more.
>Having kids
>all this autismal rules
good job /v/ now your son will always remember that vidya is your thing and stay away saving his social life on the process
>>339643574
that's the plan
>>339640529
that only works once they're past 20
and even then I've had to beg my dad for help with a bunch of adult shit like taxes like a 6 years old retarded baby
>>339638505
My parents cared an awful lot about what I played in video games but gave zero fucks about what I watched. I remember when my parents refused to let me rent Resident Evil 4 but let me rent Dawn of the Dead instead.
I played all these games at friend's houses anyways. They even let us set up system link parties at my house for Halo.
>>339643060
what else is a kid going to do when they can't even get money to buy games they want
I'll only play my grand strategy games or RTT games in my house with a kid. And if he wants vidya, I'll buy him anything he wants but he has to bring me that honor roll certificate. And if he doesn't, he won't get to play vidya. And I'll make it a mandatory thing to go out and do stuff, like taking him in hikes, biking, surfing at a young age so he learns to like those things.
>>339643009
>depriving your kid from playing pass-the-controller singleplayer
He won't ever beat shit
I'm 28 and I'll never have children.
This is not only from conscious choice, but also because I'm a repulsive NEET loser with no social skills, and a LOT of /v/ is in the same boat as me.
At least I'm not fat though.
>>339640529
you're their parent, not their friend, dumbass
>>339642826
sounds like you just need to lose your virginity tbqh faggot
1. There will be no vidya *throws her a copy of In Search of Lost Time
Before I allow my child to buy a game, they have to sell it to me. How good the game is, why they should be allowed to buy it, etc.
Ensures they only buy good vidya.
>even having a girlfriend to have kids with
Ew
>>339638112
I want to be knocked up by my boyfriend really bad.
>not playing multiplayer with your kids to destroy them everytime
come on, it would be fun
>>339635620
>he actually wants and plans for kids
you fucking peasant
>>339640916
Based anon.
>>339636024
>>339636218
my parents did that to me and I'm convinced it's the reason i play them in adulthood.
>>339644392
Actually I've though a lot about this, reading a kid the Odyssey or Aesop's fables, hell, even more deprived shit like the Old Testament or the 1001 Nights or more accesible but not straight up horrifyingly dumbening shit like that aloud must be a great experience if the child enjoys it.
>>339644438
that's how you make kids scour game journalism sites looking for ways to justify themselves
I'd let my child do anything
The reasoning is simple, he already has a gay father and a retarded one at that, I'd feel its unfair to fuck his life up even more.
>having kids
>not keeping your money and spending it shitboxes
>and then fixing them up hooning them in the middle of the night
>>339645027
Anon,pls.
>>339644438
They will do anyway if you tell'em no. I mean, everybody has been a buzz in his dad's ear for the new hottest game sometime.
>>339644761
Fucking this
![[HorribleSubs] Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! - 10 [720p].mkv_snapshot_13.52_[2016.03.16_23.55.57].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/XkOTcuX.jpg "[HorribleSubs] Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! - 10 [720p].mkv_snapshot_13.52_[2016.03.16_23.55.57].jpg")
>>339644438
>Tell you how good a game is without playing it first
So you just want him to watch lets plays?
>>339644438
>dad buy me X game please, all my friends have it and I want to play with them
The game is a casual piece of over-rewarding shit.
How do you explain to your kid that his friends are stupid and he should spend his time alone in his room playing the pretentious single player game you set out for him instead?
>>339635620
>Homework
>Making your kids work a double shift on top of school
>Not realizing you're making dumb obedient vegetables with no independence or creativity by doing so
baka senpai. Look up alfie kohn's stuff.
>>339635620
>Mega man 2
>the game with the Boobeam Trap
>the game with the easiest robot masters even on "hard" mode
>the game with the Metal Blade
>>339637362
but mega man 2 is the most casual one
take your blog elsewhere fucking faggot
not vidya
>>339645812
Its called having fun faggot.
Learn to live a little
>>339645539
it's not really a choice anon
if a kid doesn't do homework they don't pass the class
>>339645539
Normal level school is fucking braindead easy though.
1. too sick for for school, too sick for playing
2. no internet
3. no extremely violent games
4. no items
5. fox only
6. final destination
My nephew gets to play games as much as he wants. He still only plays for like an hour at all and just stops. You know why? He gets bored of those games. When you guys create all these restrictions, what you end up doing instead of discouraging children to play games, is that you're just enticing them to play more by making it a forbidden fruit. Good luck with your children.
>>339645898
this is almost never true, especially in america
i rarely did my homework all the way from 1st grade through college
>kids
Non existence> existence
I'm not making another being have to live through this garbage reality
>>339635620
You can play goddamn videogames you want, whenever you want. I don't give a shit.
If your grades are anything below 80 and you aren't in at least 1 sport or doing some sort of physical activity then I'll take whatever videogame related stuff you have until you fix your shit up. Phone included.
>>339646093
>no Internet
It's like you hate your children.
>>339646197
Well, that's pretty good innit? Work and reward and so on and so on
>>339646504
Well, they exists as much as your wife
>>339635620
Good rules.
Would add,
6. No "non-violent" shooters (comic style, no blood) before the age of 16
7. No violant shooters
8. No games about WW 1 or WW 2
>>339646197
I had consoles since as long as I could remember, starting with the Atari 2600 which my parents got before I was even born, and the NES which was my first console. My parents never restricted my play time and all I ever really wanted to do was play games. Granted I'm pretty bored of them these days but I'm never the less still here. Your nephew is just a healthy boy with normal interests. Kids who play sports and have friends and such quickly bore of video games. It has nothing to do with how much they are restricted. This isn't a sexual fetish, it's just a bad hobby that is used in lieu of other hobbies by children (and sometimes adults) who can't find anything better to do, probably because their parents were fucking terrible at their job.
>>339646425
I rarely did my homework and I ended up going to a continuation school starting my junior year 120 credits behind.ended up finishing less than a month into my fifth year though
>>339646504
1. No video games before homework or you go in the paint room
2. No video games after dark, or you go in the paint room
3. No video games when esteemed businessman are over of you go in the paint room
4. No video games on your first date, or you both go in the paint room
5. No sex in the paint room
>>339646197
My best friend in the kindergarden got to play games as much as he wanted to.
He went to special needs school after that.
I tell you a secret anon, people react different to different things, and personally I wouldn't risk it.
>>339639824
>sonic
>writing
You wat? It was literally just run right the game. And the second and the third and Knuckles.
First thing I would do. I would block any website with the text string "markiplier"
>1 hour a day max on any electronic device, be it TV, ipad, games, phone, etc
>family computer that can only access wikipedia and wordpad can be used indefinitely
Other than that I don't really care. If they just do it at friend's houses at least they're socializing in person, and I couldn't give two shits about porn and violence in games
>>339646795
w-what is the paint room
>>339647440
>>1 hour a day max on any electronic device
Holy shit this is draconian
Why do you all want to be such terrible parents that make your kid despise you
>banning sanic
If there's any guaranteed way to make your kid end up an autistic hedgehog fan, this is it.
>/v/ having children
>>339647532
>he doesn't know about the Paint Room
I'd teach him
>how to maintain a calm, collected, mature mindset
>how to handle the bantz
>how to express himself along with the courage to do so
>how not to give a fuck about what his peers think of him if what he truly believes is right or good for him
>how to think critically/logically or emotionally when either is needed
After that, I'll help him if he fucks up really badly or needs someone to listen to his problems, but otherwise, leave him to find himself on his own.
Hey OP heres a fucking idea you fuckwit
>let my kid seek out their own fucking goals and accomplishments and show i'm proud of them as a parent rather than shoving my fucking reddit ass belief that the only way to live is to live as a fucking le gaymurr xD and forcing my shit ass favorite game down their throat and forcing them to develop latent autistic tendencies until they become a fucking worthless ass faggot who spends his time shitposting on a chinese cartoon forum because they never got enough attention from their fucking parents so they seek some fucking release from their miserable life through to form of implying that they would ever have a child despite the fact that their overweight neckbeard ass could even conceive a child with their stage five buried penis syndrome, just like their fucking father
>>339647637
>Why do you all want to be such terrible parents that make your kid despise you
Because they had shitty parents or they think limiting their kids' mind = educating them.
If you've ever hated the fact that your parents were normies, look no further than this thread and count your blessings.
I'd put him on /v/ day 1 and let him figure the rest.
Its what all the parents do right?
>>339638779
You are such a delusional fuckface.
>if it werent for dem pesky vidya gaems I wuldv been a social fit businessman making 7 figures a year
Pro tip: Gangsters gravitate towards rap music, fit people gravitate towards sports, punks gravitate towards punk rock and skateboards. Get where I am going with this? Stop blaming other things for you being a failure.
kys
>>339647637
All these smart devices are creating a generation of socially inept retards who can't think for themselves
I don't really care if they hate me, they don't get to do something just because it's popular among idiots. I'm sure your kids would kill to have meth amphetamines too, but you're the adult and should know better
>>339647876
(you)
>>339647776
that's some extreme self-loathing you've just typed out there, homie.
>>339647969
Good reoly to my valid points. (You) is all (You) were asking for I guess.
(You)
>>339647947
>le kids these days
people say the same shit about every generation
also you're comparing using a computer to doing meth, lol
From my point of view,vidya is the worst hobby to have that dont involve outright illegal shit
>not a marketeable hobby, even if you play team based games
>makes you a slob
>shapes a very strong comfort zone around you that gives you autism when you step out of it
>dont get you laid
>makes you a slob
>makes you lonely
I love vidya, but fuck if I dont recognise how much of a stunted fuck I am on social matters because of vidya, I feel much better alone than with other people and this is fucked up, I actually feel lazyness to develop any kind of solid relationship with others
If I wasnt a above average smart fuck and didnt have loving parents I would probably be a huge autist instead of having a white collar job before even graduating from college and would still be a virgin
1. don't be a little shit
2. don't ask for too much you greedy jew
how are these
Here's a rule we can all agree on.
>Don't buy them a tablet
>>339648267
That might have been for X-Genners. Millenials make plenty of money off just playing games.
>>339648484
>no tablet
>no smartphone
>no youtube on the consoles
>>339648198
When you can't stop using your iphone to have a single meal, you have a serious addiction
>>339635620
Rule 1: Don't exist
that's the only rule, I'm not taking the risk of getting stuck with some brat or autismo
>>339647776
>tfw I'm supposed to be proud of my kid when they decide to become a professional poet for a career
If I told my kid to seek out their own goals and accomplishments and be proud of them with whatever they do regardless of it being a good decision or not, I would be a pathetic parent.
I'm not going to let my child become something stupid like an Indie Filmmaker or a Musician and struggle to make a living when they could have gone to a trade school and learned medical coding or carpentry and have a steady job instead.
Also, where the FUCK did you get that picture of me?
Having kids is unethical
>>339648267
Vidya is only a bad influence if you had a bad upbringing.
Your final sentence is proof of that.
>>339644761
this, easily
>>339648929
Let the faggot be a indie filmmaker or one of those failed theater actors
If that is what they chose they would be shitty on the other jobs and its much better than them becoming a jobless neet that will suck on your tired tits till the day you die
>>339635620
I babysit my nephew once a week usually and here's the rules I have for him:
1. he can't game-swap. If he wants to play a game of mine he has to beat it before he can play another game of mine. "beat" is on a game-by-game basis like currently he is workong on Kirby Return to Dream Land and he has to 100% it. Before he played Mega Man X and he didn't have to 100% it.
2. He can't go play with the neighbor kids but really just go to their house and play videogames
3. On a nice day he has to spend time outside
4. If he ever becomes a sore loser or maintains a bad attitude either at home or at school vidya becomes off limits.
5. If he tries to pull a fast one with the "let me get to a save point" or something when he could do it immediately it gets turned off immediately
>tfw gonna buy a bride and knock her up
I am not a person for relationships and frankly only care about having a child with my own genes, so adoption is out of the question.
>>339649658
you sound like a gigantic faggot
how do you expect to impose that on a kid you babysit once a week?
>>339649658
>5. If he tries to pull a fast one with the "let me get to a save point" or something when he could do it immediately it gets turned off immediately
You're a faggot of the biggest kind
kill yourself
My 7 year old likes to play Minecraft when he gets off school and when I get off work we sometimes take turns playing GTA5 then help him with homework.
What's the big deal? You're all fucking faggots.
Every rule I try to set for my wife's son doesn't stick, so I've kinda given up.
>>339650118
they're my house rules. It's his parents' choice what he does elsewhere
>>339650246
did mommy turn off your console because you were being a brat?
>>339649319
>they would be shitty on the other jobs
That's not what I meant by I would rather have them learn medical coding or carpentry, I meant that it's a way safer venue as opposed to rolling the dice at becoming a famous musician. I want my offspring to learn real skills that can be applied to the real world. As great as being able to play music is, it would be better to know how to build things.
>implying i would actually let my deadbeat children leech off of me
18 and they're out. I am no longer legally obligated to take care of their loser ass. This way they will be forced to take responsibility for what they've chosen to do.
>>339650460
are you a 16 year old on a power trip
>OK 5 YEAR OLD NEPHEW YOU CAN PLAY WITH MY BOX OF TOYS BUT ONLY FOR AN HOUR AND HERE ARE THE 100 RULES
>>339650518
>Only applicable skills are acceptable for your kid
Dude, I come from a family of VFX artists and Magicians, My dad made a killing at the Magic Castle back in his day and we've been well off ever since.
1. Do well in school and you can do whatever you like
That's about it
>>339635620
My only major rule will be no internet usage until they're over fifteen. They don't need any of their teenage cringe cataloged forever on the internet.
>>339650669
Your family sounds really cool anon
>>339650598
I am 33. I only listed a few rules. My nephew is 10
>>339650801
I used to act like Sasuke, and now I post on /v/
My parents did 1,2 and 3. They arent gamers so they didnt do 4 and 5... never played sonic tho
>>339650801
Holy shit this cant be real
>googled it
>its on the first result
KEKS
>>339650518
You realize you sound like the stereotypical hard ass no fun allowed dad right? Don't be surprised when your son turns into a literal faggot taking dick in his ass every night to "get back" at you.
>>339651157
>>339651295
>>339650729
Honestly? Teenage cringe as you call it is probably their best vent. Sure they'll have dark times and shit, but they'll get all their drama out of the way, Relationships, anger issues, etc.
Its even worse to have a 20 year old who doesn't know the first thing about those kinds of interactions, and fucks up at his age, rather then the kid who fucked up back when it didnt really matter
Teenage years are a testing ground, they can be a major learning experience
T - Sonic recolor artist who was appauled with his life and turned it the fuck around and became a success in finances and holdings
>>339650801
>This is real.
>People read that seriously with that intention
Im gonna make my kid an anime protagonist im gonna train him hard so he becomes a good stronk fighter so he cam beat anyone in his adolescence and by doing this he gets the heroine, but not too strong, I dont want a muscle head
I want him to be the top of his class
With brains and brawn he will get a harem by the time he is on highschool and then he will live an anime life full of tsunderes
>>339636024
Literally this it pisses me off to no end when. I see 4 year olds fucking about with tablets
>>339651415
I'm not saying I'm gonna lock him in his house or anything. He'll have plenty of embarrassing moments in his life like everyone else; they just won't be logged forever on some backwoods DA or LiveJournal entry.
>>339651535
>>339651415
This. The main objective in adolescence is to discover who you are as a person and become self-actualized before adulthood. If they have to go through some cringeworthy phases before then, fine. Everyone goes through at least one.
You can play whatever you want, but only for one hour and only if you keep your grades up and finish your homework. You get two hours on weekend days and the rest of your time should be spent with friends doing something outside or working on something productive. If you want to be a game designer or get a career doing something game related, you can have more time to play if you spend at least an hour working towards that goal (i.e. learning to program, draw, write music, ...etc).
>>339637730
Your part of the problem autist
>>339636024
>>339635620
This makes me think.
>implying that /v/ gets somehow a child
How are you going to deal with your child not becoming a neckbeard like you?
How are you going to deal with the fact that your kid will want the equivalente of a future tablet/vidya?
How are you going to make sure that he doesn't end up in some furry shit or autistic fanbase?
You just cant, if you have a child, is going to follow the same tragic fate as you.
Some day you will see him post
>tfw no gf
And you will know you failed as a parent
>>339638975
Monkey see, monkey do you fucking nigger
![[cue Jaws theme].png](https://i.imgur.com/FisOvQa.png "[cue Jaws theme].png")
>>339651935
>>339652091
>implying children are monkeys
>>339652145
>>339651415
So much this.
I knew the woman I love in my teenage years as a friend, and I'm glad I didn't ask her out back then. Teenage angst and school drama would have had us break up and go through shit.
Instead we had it easy by just deciding to see each other more after adulthood. Six years of being friends beforehand did wonders for that.
>>339652145
>Plastic comb to tickle feet
Who the fuck draws these wikihows?
>>339635620
>kids
I can't even get a girlfriend. Why the hell would I have kids?
>>339650669
>VFX artists
That's an applicable skill that makes lots of money and it sounds like your dad got a good break with that Magic Castle shit. But would you say that it's a safe venue to pursue a career in magic instead of something like aviation mechanics?
>>339651210
I don't give a shit if my son turns into a faggot. I don't want him wasting his life on some stupid shit like his old man did when he was his age. I'm not gonna let my kid be me.
>>339640916
You will make that motherfucker be the outcast of any school they attend to.
He is going to be bullied and grow up to hate you.
You forget that kids are fucking cruel as shit with other kids that dont follow the trends among them.
>>339652249
As a ticklefag I'm curious as to what happens next
>>339652480
It's not about rules, really. As long as their academic and social quotas are up to par (maybe some additional quota there too for world prep's sake) and their leisure time is their own. Be back by dark kinda thing.
Start artificially limiting that shit and you're just going to end up with a kid that resents you and rejects any attempt to connect or bond in their teenage years.
>>339652436
You sound exactly like a stereotypical drunkard hard ass dad that will most likely than not raise a kid that will abandon you in your old age years
>>339644761
came out of a 2 month lurk to add a this
Yo, not the same topic, but something similar.
Anyone know any good games for kids on xBone?
I've been taking care of my ten year old nephew for the past month and all he plays are Roblox on Xbox and and Pixel Gun on his iPad. Ive played both to see what they are, and both games seem cancerous as fuck.
>>339652634
>Tfw parents told me "either be back or give us a call where you are" when I was 10
feels good man
If I catch you having sex in the house, no matter if you are 5 or 15, you are getting nothing but vidya for your birthday and all that entails.
Have fun with that.
>>339648798
I eat while on my phone.
I am literally showermobile posting right now. It's awful. I don't do social media and the only games on my phone are PvZ and Go.
I need help.
>>339652249
aw shit
Little Bear theme just popped into my noggin'.
I wonder what my gamer buds are up to, I'm about to get ticklin'.
I plan on letting my wife's child play whatever game they want in hopes they like me
>>339653065
if you're making the file names for most of these wiki images ITT, you're amazing
>>339652480
>>339652249
>>339653194
My mom got me nothing but vidya for 16 years and was mortally confused as to why I tried to forge a relationship with her through books and movies.
>>339641278
Wow your fucking delusional faggot
>Kids
>Ever
>>339653260
Yeah, most of them are me. Glad you like it.
>>339652915
That's how it used to be back in the day. I would have killed myself if daddy decided he needed to follow me on my bike down to the park to make sure I abide by some of the safe space rules the fucking autists have a laid down in this thread
>>339653423
That shit does NOT work.
1/ You can't leave the house
2/ NO contact with other people except daddy
3/ dress like my waifu
4/ Your virginity is mine
5/DON'T ask about your mother again
>>339653372
just got done playing with my son on the trampoline while my wife cooked dinner
what have you done with your life today besides jack off to cartoons and hit f5 on /v/
>>339653520
Become Ben Gibbard.
Who /raisingaperfectprincessforyoutomarry/ here?
>>339653591
>hit f5
What is this, 2015? Auto refresh exists for a reason.
