>Mercy: 37 and unmarried
>Widowmaker: 33 and widow
>Pharah: 32 and unmarried
>Mei: 31 and unmarried
>Zarya: 28 and unmarried
>Tracer: 26 and unmarried
Zarya(fighting a war), Widowmaker and Tracer(time AIDS) not being in a relationship makes sense. But what's the deal with the rest of these hags in Overwatch not having a special someone?
It's the 21st century, bitches don't need to be married.
>>338652821
Mercy is married to medical science.
>>338652821
>D.Va: 19 and unmarried
WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
>>338652821
Mercy is female Mengele, Mei is the sheriff, and Pharah is my waifu
They are all pure maidens.
>>338652821
Married waifus are shit. Blizzard knows this.
Are you married OP?
>cum in Tracer
>she warps back to before you did
100% safe
>>338653893
No
>complain when heroine is in a relationship
>complain when a heroine is not in a relationship
WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT
It's the death of the west. Didn't you see the trailer? ROBOT WAR NOW
>Current year
>Getting married
>Wishing marriage upon anyone
>>338652821
Where does it say Widowmaker is a widow?
Pharah is married to JUSTICE
>>338654141
Anon please...
>>338652821
Pharah and Mercy are in a relationship, though.
>widowmaker
>widow
thats not what it means anon, she creates widows by killing men
Mercy spent most of her time figuring out her immortal stick. Pharah was in a war. Mei was in the middle of the artic. D.VA is busy getting pounded by her manager/producer every night.
I want the ships to sink.
Unmarried means more sales in the weeb community, because then they can waifu the characters.
>>338654261
She's a widowmaker, not a widow.
she kills married men,
>>338654289
>>338654421
She literally killed her husband anon
>>338654289
>he didn't read the backstories
>>338654362
It's canon until the videos prove otherwise.
>>338654421
>>338654289
Widowmaker is literally a widow. How do people not know this?
>>338654483
where is the proof?
>>338654494
What the fuck is a backstory?
>>338654518
Reading is hard.
>>338654289
>>338654421
She literally killed her own husband.
She made herself a widow
Dumbasses, she's called Widowmaker because she makes widow spiders.
>>338654615
Shes called Widowmaker because she made herself a widow dingus, aka she killed her own husband
>>338654518
Oh, I'd make her a "widow", if you know what I mean.
>>338652821
Zarya is married to ME!!
>>338654518
She killed her own husband.
No one could stand dealing with Mercy for more than 10 seconds.
Annoying cunt.
>no attractive 26 yo faggot to play as
Blizzard drops the ball again
>>338654676
>6 legs
>spider
weakest tier bait there is
>>338654676
window* spiders.
good point,
>>338652821
strong independent woman who don't need no man
and so that shippers and fappers could promote the characters furthernot that marriage would have stopped the worst fetishistsor that lack of it will anyway
>Diversity
Where's my black african demi bi sexual obese high functioning autistic mtf feminist character
>>338654615
>What the fuck is a backstory?
The story of her back
>>338654421
Why not both?
>>338654615
Are you clinically fucking retarded? I think you are.
End your life senpai, you are too dumb to go on living.
>>338655048
oh, like her back plot?
it has it's own story?
how much story can one ass have?
>>338655007
Reaper
>>338655007
Forgot paraplegic
I'm feeling generous and this thread is funny
Get trips
You'll get origins edition right nkw
>>338652821
Mei was cryogenically frozen for several years so it makes sense for her.
Mercy and Pharah are probably too obsessed with their work
She's the windowmaker because she makes windows through people's skulls.
>>338655007
minorities are the first victims of crisis
the omnics were agents of intelligent selection
Mercy is in a (secret) relationship with Genji
But Tracer is not virgin.
>>338655272
unlikely
how would you know who to give it to?
>>338655204
plot is in front, backstory is behind
Robo-Jesus, are you retarded?
>>338655379
DLET THIS
Who would even want to marry someone with a disease called chronal disassociation"?
>>338655429
that's why I called it a back plot.
>>338655386
Reply to me
That is all
>brown loli from the 76 short
>unmarried
We need to fix this asap
>>338652821
I'm sure Zarya can't unless she wants to end up kicked out of the army and sent to jail for being the literal biggest lesbian in Russia.
>>338655379
NEVER EVER GONG TO BE UR WAIFU
>giving the waifus husbands
Blizzard know their audience better than to do such a thing.
>>338655532
I would.
Who would anons marry?
Id go mercy. Tracer if she wasnt always yelling
>>338655532
Who would want to marry you, someone with a disease called "moderate down syndrome"?
>>338655532
fucking right, bitch doesn't even know when she is
>>338655762
Mei because I like cake.
>>338655650
>Not posting the superior version
>>338655532
She's not even that attractive. Where's my Viking lass with giants teats and double plaits?
Help me anons at first I wasn't a fan of Tracer but after watching all the little shorts and playing her in game she's starting to be one of my favorites with D.VA
>>338655885
> thats how a penis works
I swear artists are retarded
>Reinhardt 61 and unmarried
Is he literally a NEET?
>>338655547
boobs are fake asses, not the other way around, at best you should have called it plotback.
>>338655762
Tracer.
>>338654260
She'd get along real well with Reinhart who is also married to JUSTICE
>>338656004
no, just smart.
>>338653973
>you'll never be a catgirl with a catgirl
I'd love me some reasons. There's none.
>>338655762
Pharah
>>338652821
No-man having ass bitches
cheers luv the cavalry's here
>>338655650
Zarya being a lesbian would be a slap in the face to all the tumblr and pro LGBT people.
It would be sad but hilarious at the same time.
>>338654742
>Mei isn't a robot
>China <3 Russia for years even in the OW universe
>Zarya obvious dyke because of tumblr hair and muh body
holy shit! that actually makes some sense
>>338656178
Shitskin lover
Go poo in the loo
>>338655547
Backstory, dummy.
>>338654515
>Waifufags actually believe this
Mercy rides the dwarf cock. Pharah getsCLANKEDby Zenyatta.
>>338652821
women finally realised that men are human garbage
>>338654615
>What the fuck is a backstory?
>>338655379Big Gorilla Cock
>>338654740
you're going to marry her and then kill yourself?
>>338653775
She is married to Starcraft and cheats on it with her mech.
>>338656314
tits or gtfo
>>338656295
At least you have some canon evidence for Mercy and Swedish Dwarf Man
But where is Pharah and Zenyatte from?
>>338655631
Agreed
>>338655007
>If a coalition of the worlds forces banded together, the members would be all Aryan ubermensch
>>338655007
Symmetra is literally canon autistic
>>338656389
noty
>>338656346
no edit of "time for hot monkey dick" with Winston
com'on people this shit practically makes itself.
I want to piss on Tracer's face.
>>338656295
> that mercy halloween costume
HHHNNNHGGGGGGGG
>>338656380
Not exactly as planned...
>>338655253
Her face looks like form 1 Frieza
>>338655631
don't worry, daddy didn't actually kill her gang-rapist-friend76's daughter will return in the future as a playable hero with a good neon-gangster theme, screencap this
I want to eat fish and chips with tracer
I can no longer ship Tracer and Windowmaker.
That's cradle-robbing right there.
>Mercy
Wants the dorf dick, if Halloween 20XX is anything to go by.
>Widowmaker
Killed her hasubando.
>Pharah
MUH JUSTICE, MUH INDEPENDENCE, MUH MOMMY ISSUES, NO TIME FOR A MAN
>Mei
Cryostasis
>Zarya
Literally in the middle of a war
>Tracer
Time AIDS
>>338652821
Mei is married to environmentalism.
>>338655379
FILTHY WHORE DELETE THIS
>>338655532
When Tracer has an orgasm, can she tell if she's cumming or going?
>>338653904
Underrated post.
>>338654615
https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/heroes/widowmaker/
Stupid.
>>338652821
Time Aids?
Can someone explain?
>>338655532
Me. I would.
>21st century
>getting married
theres literally no reason anymore grandad
also
>Pharah best waifu
>Implying Widow isn't taking dick from Reaper and Talon mercs
>>338656758
she was involved in some experience that fucked her up and made her disassociated from time. She vanishes for months at a time and shit without the glowy Tony stark thing on her chest. Think kinda like the girl from Wreck it Ralph, warping all over the place unable to control it.
>>338655532
>freckles
>dat accent
>them buns
>personality
I'd hit it even if she had real AIDS
>>338654615
It's on the Blizzard site or something. She was a wife of some rich dude who got into shady shit so they kidnapped her, slowed her heart down (hence blue skin) and then brainwashed her into the perfect killing machine. She also killed her husband afterwards.
>>338656295
Lesbians can have guy friends!
>>338656004
He has his own young female sidekick which lives on the same same cramped trailer as him. He probably fucks her on a hourly basis.
>>338656792
> pharah
Anon thats a funny way of spelling Mercy.
Is anyone even married at all in Overwatch?
>>338656893
Stupid
Smug
Blueberry
Scum
GET TO PLAY IN LESS THAN 20 MINS HOLY FUCK I'M PUMPED YO -- THE HYPE IS REAL!
>implying it's weird to be unmarried
>Bastion: Unmarried.
>Zenyatta: Unmaried.
So Omnics don't have marriage equality. Real progressive of you Blizzard.
Why is Dva upset?
>>338657030
>Mercy's face in the second panel
I'm laughing based on that alone
Can any Russianboos translate this?
>>338656893
Normally, I'd be all over that kind of gangbang fetish. But Reaper actually has a surprising and weird respect for his fellow Talonfags. The way he addresses Widowmaker and Sombra are actually kind professional and normal.
>>338657034
tbqh they're both tied for top for me.
>>338656346
Don't gorillas have unusually small dicks?
>>338657276
Same.
I mean to be honest, id be happy with either. But mercys just a preference
>>338657183
Omnics and their white women are fighting for marriage equality.
>>338656072
Pharah and JUSTICE are in an open relationship, This means that JUSTICE is free to date other people, while Pharah must remain exclusive to JUSTICE.
>>338657217
She doesn't have much luck with the guys.
>>338657427
Yes, but it is already unusual for gorillas to be wearing power armor
>>338656943
>>338656758
She USED to keep phasing in and out of time, then winston build the tony stark thing which is a "time anchor". Now she doenst disappear unless she wants to (which are her "blinks" and "rewind" power).
I guess winston can build a more compact thing so she can wear it on her wrist when she is naked fucking some dick like the dick thristhy slut she is.
>>338657608
D.Va A CUTE
>>338657030
Straight girls can joke around with their gal pals too. Also,
>Military girl who is probably inexperienced and shit in bed
>Master craftsman who can make the best vibrator robots to double team you with
>probably has a think swedish dick
It's not even a contest.
>>338657450
I just have a thing for brown girls. But I also like German/Russian accents
>>338657608
>>338657030
The "can i feel your muscles" is way too direct. She needed to say something like: "want a private checkup?" or some medical insinuation.
>>338657834
Basically this.
It was the accent man.
>>338657250
>win 2 tickets
>to the gun show
>>338657836
So funny when spics try to write english.
>>338657640
If the anchor is over the clothes, how does she change them? or does she always stay in them and get stinky as shit?
>>338656295
>manlets actually believe this
>>338657891
If you wanted to go into actual yuri, sure. Since this is a joke strip, it makes more sense for her to be overly forward.
>>338658103
She's British, she'd smell like shit regardless.
>>338658103
General consensus is that the anchor isn't necessary 100% of the time, as in she can take it off for a minute to change clothes
>>338655275
>this
>>338652821
>But what's the deal with the rest of these hags in Overwatch not having a special someone?
Mei was recently defrosted from being cryogenically frozen. So she had to restart her life.
Mercy is problematic, she knows more than she is letting on and don't be surprised if she is a mad scientist.
Pharah has mummy issues. Really, she is a little nuts.
>>338658224
That's Symmetra
best waifu
>>338655532
she is trans-timelined
>>338657014
I don't even care about the game, but her story is her husband was one of the leaders of overwatch and they could never assassinate him because he was 2gud. Their solution was to kidnap his wife while he was deployed, completely destroy her previous memories and replace them with murderous intent and obedience. They left her unconscious as a sleeper agent somewhere near his house, she checked out fine medically and mentally so they sent her back. Her husband came back and they fucked then went to sleep, but she didn't and killed him then and there. She returned to whatever agency she was brainwashed in and they performed further experiments to make her the perfect emotionless killer.
>>338653904
>cum in mei
>she lays on her back and lifts her logs-I mean legs to maximise the probability of conception
:3c
>>338658103
She gets naked and pray to stay in one place/ time till she puts the other one.
>No porn of Tracers trying to change herself, getting naked just to appear one week later in the middle of a overwatch meeting.
>No porn of naked tracer quickly phasing on and off your dick till you cum
>>338657014
>and then brainwashed her into the perfect killing machine.
They went a bit further than that, they surgically replaced a piece of her brain and replaced it with computer parts so they can better control her.
Overwatch has the most realistic lore, combining futuristic elements with plausible future technology to make a deep rich story is a hard thing to conjure up without impacting the believability and sacrificing overall presentation.
The fact all the women are not married makes it even more believable. Heroes protecting the planet don't have time for relationships. Having someone that could be extorted and used against them would also be too much of a risk as a "Hero".
>>338652821
I didn't knew they were all cakes, i like this game more now.
>game has waifus
>yurifags immediately come in with their cuck fetish
>>338658112
>Implying I'm a man or short
>>338658627
>plausible future technology
time travel is super plausible, just like cyborg ninjas and Mr. Freeze guns
>>338658427
>>338658496
>>338658541
>>338657014
Where do people come up with these stupid variations of the lore?
Widowmaker's story is basic as fuck. Her husband was an Overwatch agent so Talon kidnapped her and turned her into a sleeper agent. Once she killed him, she went back to Talon and became a full time assassin. That's it.
Where do you fucks get these "married to a rich dude", "they fucked and then she killed him", and other stupid shit from?
>>338652821
>Mercy
>37 and available
Did somebody say
M I L F
I
L
F
>>338658839
>manlets
>learning
>ever
>>338658839
Trannies don't count
>>338658937
it's not a variation, its what happened
>>338657217
dont koreans hate chinese?
Especially if shes fatter and better looking?
>>338658998
But she isnt a mum
Isnt that the whole point of milf?
>>338658937
Have you considered that maybe we are just summing it up in easier terms for those who want a basic understanding?
>>338658627
>Overwatch has the most realistic lore, combining futuristic elements with plausible future technology
>time travel
>magic dragons
>meme-regeneration
>space gorilla
>letting 19 years old in charge of warfare
>letting women in warfare at all
>AI turning genocidal, then religious
>realistic lore
>>338659170
the definition of MILF has evolved over time, friend.
>>338654742
CUTE!!!
>>338659236
But the definition is still the same
She isnt a mum. Shes a cougar then
>>338655272
it's a long shot but i still can't afford this game
>>338655272
Doubt you'd deliver even if this is trips
>>338654640
Then she is a Widowmaker Widow.
Which would, since she made herself mean that she's a Widowmaker Widow maker.
Which would mean that she's a Widowmaker Widow maker maker.
>>338659236
no it hasn't, it's the misuse of the term that has spread, doesn't change the fact you're using the wrong name.
>>338659395
It's called birthday cake. Learn the proper terms or get off my Malaysian picture forum.
Any good 34 of any of these bitches with hairy legs, pits, anything?
>>338659570
What.
I mean I like mercy as much as the next fag. Even moreso. But saying shes a milf ruins it friendo
>>338659549
Suck my 14 inch dick, faggot
>>338658525
>cum in Mei
>she's so obese that she can't get pregnant anyway
>>338659570
>birthday cake
Christmas Cake you fuck
LOGIN WHEN?
![Lessons-Learned[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/tP0wCiD.jpg "Lessons-Learned[1].jpg")
>buying inevitable f2p
>>338659768
Please, Mei is just the right size.
>>338659879
Anon, this is the biggest game launch in history. Even the beta shattered records.
WHY CAN'T I CONNECT TO SERVERS
AHHHHHHHHHH
>>338659879
Yeah just like WoW
>>338655272
if you thought the thread was funny don't try and derail it with a "give away"
>>338658525
Mei is fat.
FAT
>>338652821
People in the modern day are waiting longer to get married, what makes you think it won't be any different in the future?
Also, where are you getting these character ages from?honest question
>>338652821
this game target audience are single moms and women cant get a husband even if they dressed as a complete slut and make 5 star culinary masterpieces.
>>338660024
you and i both
>>338660429
This is truly hell on earth
>>338660385
Official profiles anon.
>>338655272
>trips
you know those are blocked, only 000 are viable.
>>338660235
THICKERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
>>338656675
kek
>>338652821
>Hanzo 38 and unmarried
Gay confirmed?
>>338660842
Reinhardt isnt married either.
>>338659231
Overwatch is a mixbag of a bunch of left over concepts and designs by blizzard.
Here is some 1998 stuff:
http://www.sonsofthestorm.com/report_soldier76.html
And a LOT of stuff left from Project TITAN (2007-2012)
I would post some TITAN info, but the main source is a few interviews with Polygon and Kotaku.
It was basically overwatch + Planetside + professions.
>>338656224
What? They'd only get mad if Zarya had a white boyfriend and if she played a traditional role as a submissive woman.
>>338661230
UGGHHHHH
>>338655762
I always give the same answer to those kinds of questions.The one who'd want me.
Then I remember how pathetic that is. Have a fresh reaction pic for your trouble.
>>338661172
>strong women being submissive
muhdik
>>338660949
Maybe he's also gay
>>338661230
>>338659395
Cougar would imply she's on the prowl, which she's not. Christmas cake is the most applicable.
>>338661708
I want to shove mei gun deep up her ass and shoot it.
>>338656248
Dark skin + white facial features is a god tier combination you meme loving fuck
>>338659236
You have to be a mother to be a milf.
Misappropriating the term doesn't mean it evolves, language shouldn't enable stupid people.
>>338655272
>tfw
>>338656248
>Egyptian
>India memes
/int/ and /pol/ are retarded
>>338660842
When is the gay character getting confirmed?
>>338662337
Season 1 finale
>>338659236
No it hasn't you're just a moron. Literally the first fucking letter in Milf is Mom. If she's not a mother she's not a Milf. She's a cougar.
>>338656314
this is how I want humanity to go.
both men and women turning homosexual to not deal with the opposite sex and eventually dying out without offspring
>>338654267
Fuck outta here, shipfag. Go back to tumblr.
>>338662490
>>338662337
Its gonna be 76 x Reaper
>>338663054
This ship is unsinkable.
>>338655253
Je suis monte~!
>>338659715
Get back in the zoo, you filthy animal
>>338663143
That's kinda hot.
>>338660042
WoW isn't even f2p, you get the most shitty part of the game and the rest is blocked off.
>>338659671
Stop breathing.
>>338663764
>Reaper
>White
Triggered
>>338663163
SHIPS ARE EASILY SINKABLE WITH A CANON
>>338655272
Ay Le Mao
>Widowmaker killed her husband
Why is widowmaker called widowmaker and not black widow?
>>338655272
fucking Tripleys
>>338658998
No she's christmas cake
>>338663054
I just want to see cute girls making out. Is that too much to ask?
>>338663163
Certainly hot, but Tracer kind of hates Widow for being a big fat murderer.
>>338657427
Proportionally yes
>>338654640
>>338654748
Doesn't sound like a good waifu then
>>338655272
000
>>338664343
You got the "Into You" series?
>>338655272
thread ruined.
>>338664343
>I just want to see cute girls making out. Is that too much to ask?
What if the gay character(s) are guys though
>>338664343
Love is hate.
Hate is love.
Season 1 finale Cinematic Short will be Tracer kissing Widow
>>338664496
I'll bet there will be one gay man and one gay woman, just to keep things even and avoid "oh so the [men/women] can be gay but not the [women/men]??" backlash.
>>338653993
I want plump ara ara single mothers.
I would have been fucking great if they had fixed the god damn constant disconnecting issues, but nah, gotta make more CGI trailers.
>>338654640
Self-made Widow lol
>>338659715
>wanting others to suck your dick
go fellate yourself if you can with your micropenis, faggot
>Widowmaker is mindwashed, no feelings, almost stopped heart with mind modulator
>Will be set free by the power of /u/
