We are making the worst game ever anon. Each of you suggest one feature.
>status effect doesn't work on boss
>>337461141
Timed exclusive for every platform, using the weakest platform as the lowest common denominator for specs.
but that's good thing, not off to a good start if you want it to be bad
you want irrelevant boss battles with paralyzed bosses?
>no healing outside of battle
You have to escort a dumb NPC the entire game.
If they die its game over.
Ending is DLC
>>337461141
>several buffs are bugged and actually lower your stats
crashes on the main menu every time
>>337461372
better yet
>no healing outside of battle
>alarm sounds when you're at low health like KH
>>337461141
It's Japanese.
It's also Western.
![taquin_mvt[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/TqvwBjn.png "taquin_mvt[1].png")
You have to fill a captcha to confirm mundane actions. Captchas often figure pic related as a minigame.
24 fps cap and vsync always on
call it dark souls 4
Every level has a time limit.
>>337461141
Have a retail version that has only 5% of the game's data on it, the other 95% is in a 25GB file that takes days to download
Game is turn based, but moves that take extra turns are exclusive to the AI
constant random short cut scenes which change your camera.
10% of the game is cutscenes, and 50% of those cutscenes have quick time events.
every time you finish a longass dungeon and killed its boss, a cutscene will show a treasure in the back of the area.. then automatically warp you back to town
>>337461141
Cooldown on menu access.
> there are only 3 enemy models
> bosses are re-colors of said 3
Basic actions takes 30 seconds
Entire game has a time limit
It doesn't stop even when in menusIt doesn't stop even when logged out
Stalin is the MC
>>337461557
But RE4 is good.
There is a slight delay in your inputs.
>>337461503
Years of runescape has tempered me for this
>>337461570
Holy shit, that's cruel.
>>337461141
>bosses have a high chance of critting for 80% of your HP
Only auto saves after you complete a full task.
Water levels. Like, most of them.
Level scaling.
NPCs move faster than your walk and slower than you run.
There is no secret behind the waterfall.
have all treasures guarded by the strongest enemies in the game with a path filled with traps and other annoyance contain "Potion"
>>337461141
hitbox substantially larger than player character model
hitbox substantially smaller than npc model
>>337461141
subscription fee and cash shop with purchasable items that you can farm with the most minimal of effort
>>337461141
Unskippable cutscenes before every boss
QTE boss fights.
Weapons that can only be used on bosses.
State that your game will take into account choices that you made throughout the game
There is one and only one QTE in the middle of a long cutscene in the middle of the game and you have to hit it or face a massive penalty.
get amputated people on craigslist to be voice actors
Always-online drm.
>>337461141
>most enemies can mind control
>there is nothing to cure mind control
it's made by bethesda
>>337461812
This, and losing to the boss re-plays the cutscene each time.
>>337461141
Every dead-end in every dungeon has no treasures or items. Literally just a dead-end, with nothing to distinguish it from the "right" path.
Also, the dungeon-crawling is done in first person.
use passwords instead of saves
Constant red barrels near enemies. They don't do anything when shot
Normal enemies have insta-kill attacks
You require aol online services to run the game properly.
Hitting the enemies provides no feedback.
Unskipable intro every time you log in
> its 2 minutes long
>>337461645
That's called real life.
>have to rewatch level's beginning cutscene after every death
Downgrade it to shit and ban people for mentioning it on your forums
MC whose moral code prevents you from killing the boss, thus having to fight him 8 more times before the end of the game
Ending has one of the irrelevant side characters wake up and realize he was in a car crush induced coma the whole time.
vsync is on by default
>make a 40 dollar season pass
>release no dlc
>>337461812
>>337461859
loading screen at the start of cutscene and after
There's a door and if you backtrack instead of going through it will close forever
female lead
>>337461141
>At least 50 hour campaign
>Devs forgot to add an option to save the game, and arent going to patch one in.
>>337462002
>make $40 season pass
>release all the DLC after its expired
Make it 20 minutes long with little to no gameplay. It mentions sexism as a theme
Oh wait, we're making a bad game
>>337461141
Emulated mouse controls on menus. Also no mouse and keyboard support.
All cutscenes are pre-rendered and uncompressed.
The game ships by default with 15 different languages (audio & text), all uncompressed.
It's a The Walking Dead type of "Game"
you can only carry one weapon
this includes grenades and everything that can harm enemies
>>33746175
You cant use weapons underwater.
There are enemies everywhere that not only move faster than you but also make sharper turns than you.
>>337461141
You only get rewards if your moral choices are 100% positive or 100% negative.
You get nothing for being neutral.
have split paths everywhere, one lead to the next area (one way), the other to some of the best equipment in the game
randomize which path is the right one every time and put the save point very far away
Taking damage slows all controls to a crawl
>Poison cuts the half of your HP with each turn
Full screen only, game crashes if you alt tab
Consumable inventory randomly spoils, and there's nothing you can do to prevent this, outside of loading a save.
>>337461141
The camera doesnt follow you properly on half of the levels
>>337461141
Game is on rails.
>>337461141
You can't manually upgrade the Planetary Administration if the planet is in a sector.
>>337461949
Real life is the closest thing to the worst game ever so he pretty much nailed that feature
>>337461141
Tutorial is stoppablebut contains numerous key items forcing you to go back
>>337461141
8bit pixels
Skill animations cannot be turned off and require a loading screen, followed by a cut scene, followed by another loading screen
If the game is in fullscreen, force the monitor to automatically switch to 24Hz interlaced mode.
put an unreachable treasure very early in the game, and make it seem like you may be able to reach it
have the player frequently come back to it to see if that new thing he got might let him reach the chest
near the very end of the game, give the player the thing he needed to reach the chest
>obtained Potion
>>337461141
FOV of 45we all know its going to be the standart in a few years for FPS
There are kids everywhere who run their mouths, but you cannot kill them
>forced v-sync, no option to disable it
>no FOV option
>locked at 30fps
>forced black borders
>timed escort underwater missions with non-inverted controls
>flight controls are like FPS controls, can't change it
>bad AI
>OST is ambient dubstep
>can't adjust individual audio levels
>brown and bloom
>alt+tab just turns screen black
>need newest drivers to play, they fuck up performance
apart from gameplay stuff, it's quite funny and horrifying that these things don't seem to out of place today
>>337462149
Meant for >>337461751
I have no idea how i messed that up
Controls cannot be remapped, and the default controls are pants-on-head retarded.
>>337462226
>>337462290
Those two together are an abomination by itself
>>337461141
Mandatory side quests.
Splash screen quote
"A fool and his money are soon parted."
Unlockables don't exist, only microtransactions
EVERY CHEST IS A MIMICEXCEPT THE ONE WITH A KEY ITEM TO BEAT THE GAME, THAT ONE IS ONLY FOUND IF YOU WALK BACKWARDS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE LEVEL
General combat theme is incessantly repetitive and loops every 8 seconds, but the battles are very, very long and slow.
Npcs can engage in conversations with you.
When they do the game focuses on the NPC and forces interaction.Bethesda
>>337462184
When the game crashes, it still stays open, and the screen goes black except for your windows bar at the bottom, and when you ctrl-alt-del you can see the task manager on the windows bar but alt-tabbing doesn't pull it up because the screen is black.
Regularily put out patches, and makes each patch break older saves.
NPC walks up to you asking you to save him and his people from whatever, but you must buy the DLC first
>>337461570
He said worst game not suicide simulator anon
>>337461832
>It's a fucklong cutscene with a QTE
>If you fail you have to start the cutscene again
>The commands for the QTE are randomised
First person shooter with a fixed Aiming speed that is controller tier slow
>>337461141
you instantly die in mid air when falling for a greater length than your jump height
No autosave, or quicksave. Takes 2 minutes to get to the save screen and another 30 seconds to finish saving. Game is littered with instant kills. Only 1 save slot.
Automatically does a finishing move if you're near your target when they're low health, but other enemies can still damage you while the finishing move animates.
>>337461141
>There are only two bosses in the whole game
[Spoiler] It's the same boss [/Spoiler]
>>337462519This is actually not entirely an issue in games where that happens because you can still control the Task Manager with the keyboard as long as it's the active window.
What's wrong with v-sync?
>>337462556
Each patch also disables all mods and requires a mundane and almost irrelevant tweak in order for them to work, even for graphical mods.
Randomize all character names from the most random NPC to the main antagonist
>>337462668
It causes judder unless your monitor has adaptative sync.
Also input lag.
>>337461570
Perfect
>>337462649
As long as you memorize every running process :^)
>>337462401
>chromatic aberration so bad that it looks like you need 3d glasses
>but the blue/red are the wrong way, so things go backwards in space
The game's healing items never get more potent versions.
In the game's endgame you have to be carrying around stacks upon stacks of these items for every battle and you can only use one per turn and at that point it only heals like 0,1% of your health.
>>337462796
You don't have to. Just put your cursor on the TM in Windows' bottom bar and the window preview will pop up, allowing you to see what you're doing.
The setting is incredible, the story is excellent and the characterizations are incredibleGame ends on a blatant cliff hanger where you haven't even done any of the cool shit you were promised yetThere's no sequel
>>337462489
Hitting the chest before opening it destroys the item.
Game lets you spec everything into stealth and then throws you one unskippable boss that requires a damage build to beat.
You can equip weapons and armor, but each cutscene shows you using the default gear.
>>337462885
at 50x50 resolution. Look kid, you won't win this. You know you're wrong. I know you're wrong.
>>337462923
I didn't ask for this.
>attacks feel like swinging a toothpick, enemies barely flinch
>make every single weapon scrape the ground during swings to produce the obnoxiously loud metal scrape sound
>make menus take 5-10 seconds to load
>give it a Chaos Wars tier dub
Make three six second tracks to loop for the entire game
chests are common but keys are rare
>>337463047
I want this thro
> game is littered with uneven terrain and rocks and stuff
> you can't jump or climb except in positions where it's specially marked.
Save your game prompts appear from time to time.
One appears before a point of no return AND right before an incredibly difficult boss.You only have one save file.
>>337463013
I can still see what's going on at that res. Sorry my man but I've had enough annoying crashes in my time to know what I'm doing.
>>337461417
This is the worst.
>>337463047
>>attacks feel like swinging a toothpick, enemies barely flinch
>you hit enemy and it doesn't stagger at all
>in the middle of your attack animation they do theirs
>it's not only faster but staggers you too
>Huge, colorful, and lively city full of unique vistas and architecture, as well as dozens of flavorful characters
>Explore the city through menus and you only see the same screenshot of the "city" until you're inside of a building
>>337462923
Those fucking HR boss fights were terrible. Spend hours finding the right path to sneak through without being detected by anything and then Jensen just blindly walks into the next room.
music starts on the title screen and plays continuously through all selection screens, regular game play and deaths until you close the program.
*cough paranautical activity cough*
Game alerts you that it is auto saving but actually never autosaves.
tripping
>>337463130
How's your job at the steel plant going, anon?
It only boots up into windowed mode and has no fullscreen setting
>>337463281
>Auto-saves next to save points
>Auto-saves immediately after save points
Has an ingame gallery with unlockables.
They're all just facebook memes featuring the games characters.
>>337461141
There's a plot-important stinger after the credits which are an hour long and unskippable.
Make it 3d but locked to 1024x768
>>337461141
>game has a lot of locked dooors with cool items that you want
>they only unlock in newgame+
>>337461141
You get armor that gives you +50 damage when you're at 10% health.Fuck any game that does this.
Make the camera your worst enemy
>third person action game
>giant fucking enemies/bosses on a tiny area
>camera gets stuck between the enemy and a wall
there's a shitty weapon that says you have to bring it to the end of the game to get the secret endingthe secret ending is the normal ending but a different color
The game has branching paths where one leads to treasure and the other the next level. There is no way to reload or go back.
>>337462321
>tutorial is boring as fuck and filled with shit like "press W to move forward"
>can be skipped
>but constains useful items
>>337463427
Why 1024x768? Why not something utterly batshit insane like 1142x494.2?
The ugliest weapons are also the strongest.
Boss has a special attack that resets your keybinds.
Make the AI break the game's own rules
>>337463684
>Float numbers
>Resolution
every time an enemy hits you, you drop a random item, it can even be something you have equipped.
>>337461141
Everyone is extremely fucking ugly.
Most characters are female.
>>337463270
>he wants to run for minutes around a city to buy his shit
Warband did this perfectly though, you do everything mainly through menus with the option to walk through the city if you want.
>>337461141
You need to upgrade your weapons to be able progress, but there's a chance for your weapon to break every time you try to upgrade it. Broken weapons are lost forever.
>>337463859
sounds like some shitty roguelike
>game has different pieces of armour with different looks
>nothing matches
>best items are brightly coloured and ugly as fuck
>>337462002
>season pass don't unlock all DLC
>you need to buy other DLC separate
You can romance everyone except the best boy/girl.
Make an exploit (item duping, infinite HP) that is very easy to find and use, and make it available right at the beginning of the game.
Make stats that are completely useless with no way to redistribute stats.
GIve the illusion of character customization while making every build except one useless.
Make the tutorial teach you the most casual way of doing things.
Make the game launch with the message "SETTINGS HAVE BEEN AUTOMATICALLY ADJUSTED FOR YOUR COMPUTER" and have everything be at the lowest possible setting. Bonus point for making every change to the settings require a restart.
Make multiple paths everywhere with multiple items, but if you choose the right path, the others get locked off.
Make all the female leads strong and independent who also save men every single time they are in trouble.
Every time you die in game your cat dies in real life.
Put controls on the keypad. Non-rebindable.
4 and 6 turn left/right, end and pgdn strafe.
>>337461141
All the bosses have attacks that extend 20 feet outside of their model
>>337464143
>Make an exploit (item duping, infinite HP) that is very easy to find and use, and make it available right at the beginning of the game.
Also: ban random people who use the exploit once it becomes public knowledge, but never ban the first people who use it and keep it private.
>>337462631
>seconds
I hated this about the original dragons dogma, it had a quick save in the menu but it took fucking ages
All ingame spending was secretly linked to your bank account
>The game teaches you controls throughout the first few levels
>If you already know the controls you cant use them until the game tells you about them
>>337464009
>weapons degrade
>there's no way to repair them
>>337464143
>Make the game launch with the message "SETTINGS HAVE BEEN AUTOMATICALLY ADJUSTED FOR YOUR COMPUTER" and have everything be at the lowest possible setting.
Holy shit calm down there Hitler.
>game offers to give you bonus item for access to your friend's list.
>give game access and don't get bonus item
motion blur is on and cant be turned off.
Weapon durability tied to frame rate
It's AAA indie early access beta open world level based action point and click fantasy simulator that is a direct spin-off sequel to a Western game from the Japanese developer, game has such features as helthpacks and regenerating heath, linear level design with multiple paths, randomly generated unique quests, singleplayer-only multiplayer mode, a purple character, survival elements, crafting menu, dialogue choices.
Also the game is popular in {spoiler]not /v/[/spoiler] circles.
>>337462896
Chests are almost always near enemies
>>337461603
L.A Noire
A Megaman game but where you can't open the boss's door while jumping.
Game features LGBT relationship that you lose karma for if you refuse.
>>337462951
You can equip different weapons, but the cutscenes show you with completely different weapons each times.
It will also fuck up your equipped weapons.
>>337461141
developed by square enix
>>337464140
>the developer's self insert claims them for themselves
>>337465163
Fuck you anon. FUCK YOU.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
You have to kill Wrex to progress the story
>>337465210
>game forces relation on you even when it doesn't matter at all in this type of game
>>337465469
And nothing of value was lost.
>>337463525
what? thats actually a good thing that can be rewarding if you know how to dodge damage.
Now giving you +50 defense while below 10% health, that I will never understand.
you have to play an annoying mini game with terrible controls and get a perfect score to continue
It's a platformer where you can'tjump
There are memory leaks everywhere
>>337462896
Just beeing able to destroy items by accident...
the game controls randomize every 10 seconds
It's a platformer where jumps have a slightly lower horizontal moving speed than running. So when you run and then jump, you always seem to jump juuuussstt a little shorter than you thought.
God tier soundtrack, all of them. But make normal battle theme the worstest shit known to man
PC version has no k&m controls.Console versions has only k&m controls
>>337461141
The whole game is an escort mission.
All bosses are QTE helicopters with 10 times more hitpoints than previous one and each QTE does 1 damage to them.
