You know how the ghosts are always trying to catch Pacman? Well guess what Ray, i am the Power Pellet because they turn blue when they see me.
Someone stream Dodgeball
You ever heard of the saying "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" Well it didn't. I'm the fucking road, Ray, and nobody crosses me.
Never lost any key , never had any fucking keychain.
I'm so up to my neck in shit, I'm thinking about ordering a snorkel.
>>336798841
I felt feels when he died, I admit.
My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.
Early bird catches the worm, right? Well, from where I'm standing, Ray, it's just a plumper dish for the night owl.
Some people say it's not the size of the boat but rather the motion of the ocean. Well guess what, Ray? I can't even swim. Never even had a bath.
>babe, you stopped moving way back there
It's Thanksgiving dinner Ray, the whole family is here. And I'm stuck at the fucking kids table.
What's the original line?
What's the meme here?
Ever hear of the kid who cried wolf, Ray? I'm the wolf, but nobody's crying for me. I'm the one who's howling, and I'm howling at the moon. But Apollo 11 hasn't even taken off yet.
>never eat....especially when you're hungry
What in the actual fuck were they thinking with that line, fucking lost me with that
so vinceposting is spreading to other boards?
what a great day for /tv/
You ever wonder why boiling water softens potatoes, but hardens eggs? All these fuckarounds get put in the water and go soft. Me? I've been boiled so many times, I'm ready for my Easter painting.
The whole world is a big pissing contest, Ray. But I'm about to make it a shitting contest. And you know what? I'm the biggest shit there is.
I've never lost my cool, Ray. Not even when my fucking fridge was stolen
>>336801458
Why the fuck would anyone steal a fridge?
Curiosity may have killed the cat, Ray. But I murdered the dog.
>>336798841
I hope season 3 goes better than this pile of shit did.
There isnt a tampon in los angeles big enough to stop the blood thats about to spill.
They say everybody has a skeleton or two in their closet, Ray. Well I didn't even have a closet. I had a fuckin' morgue.
I never learned how to swim. Never needed to. See sometimes you need to swim, and sometimes you need to sink. Exerting oneself to stay afloat, I call that being antipathetic to the occasion that has occurred. Me? I'm just the guy with the best life jacket.
They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, too bad I had a fucking gastrectomy.
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm the fucking chinaman.
>>336801721
S2 > S1
The ending was literally the only issue with it.
>>336798841
its a shame season 2 was so boring compared to 1
There once was a man from Nantucket with a dick so long he could suck it. That man was me, Ray. Casper knew that.
They say that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Well gues what, Ray. I am a fucking 3d glasses salesman.
>>336801721
Season 2 was the true patrician season.
You ever been to a baby shower, Ray? I remember the first one I went to. Kept walking around asking everyone, "Where's the baby? Where's the baby?" They all looked at me like I was nuts. But you know, that's when I realized it, Ray. The baby? It was me, and I've still got a lot of growing up to do.
They say life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get.
I ate the chocolate, Ray, I ate all the nougat bonbons. Turns out I'm fucking diabetic.
They say blood is thicker than water. Well guess what Ray, semen is even thicker, but that don't mean I'm gonna fuck my daughter.
>>336803184
>>336803485
>>336803761
jesus fucking christ i love these more than i should
>>336798841
Played like a damn fiddle? No, Ray. I'm the player. I'm the fiddle. I'm this chopper. They are in symbiosis and I'm the parasite. All that, through language.
You know there's this cafe near my place. I've driven by that place every day for 20 years, never gone in once. Then one day I decide to and you know what I realize? It's a fucking hardware store
What did he meme by this?
You gotta be unpredictable in this world to survive, Ray. Just look at me. When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I make fucking orange juice.
>>336798841
They say breaking the ice is hard. Well guess what Ray? I'm the fucking Titanic.
Never check the time with your watch. Something that close to you shouldn't change so often.
>>336798841
They say they say they say. Well guess what. Guess what guess what.
Its like a game of poker, Ray, and right off the bat I drew my own ace of spades with nothin' but an old Denny's receipt and a fucking cray-on.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well I eat two apples, Ray. Casper knew this.
keep going guys you are making my day at work not as unbearable
I really miss Frank posting...
They say an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind Ray. Well I'm fucking Daredevil, and it's time to gouge out everybody's eyes.
When I was younger, my uncle Rick took me to the batting cages every two weeks or so. I feel like I'm in the batting cages now, but someone's locked me in the cage and taken my bat. The only question left is, do I catch the balls, or do I dodge them?
It's taken me years to answer that question, Ray. And now, the balls are coming from every direction
>>336806265
And he left me in that cage, and you know what? By the third day I had run out of cracker jacks and dozed off. I felt one of the balls roll up to my finger and I awoke and threw it with the force of 10,000 suns right at the gate and you wanna know what I found out? The gate was open the whole time
An optimist sees this glass half full, and a realist sees it half empty.
Well Ray, it doesn't matter because we're in the fucking glass and someone turned it upside-down.
>>336801595
Because it was running and he couldn't catch it.
I never did well in school, Ray. Teachers kept giving me problems when I already had enough of those at home. They always wanted solutions, but do you think any one of them had a solution to my problems, Ray? The second grade was a fuckin' waste of time.
I heard the eyes are the window to the soul. If that's the case, I'd rather be wearing sunglasses my entire life.
>>336801721
That depends on the cast. I fucking bet Vince wanted to make himself look like a badass and made all those shitty script choices.
Everyone else war pretty solid, especially Farrell, pity he had to shave mid-season.
>>336798841
Wait what board is this?
I knew an old man back in Johnson City, Ray. During the summer, frogs been keeping him up all night, croaking as loud as a train. So, that old man dammed his river just to spite those frogs. His whole family went without water for days. Finally the man goes to the river and guess what he sees? Two frogs. Two frogs been causing all that ruckus. Now what do you think of that, Ray?
>>336807017
Its a dart board, honey. And we're worth the least amount of points.
>>336801008
they were thinking to make me laugh
>>336800905
Random pseudo filosofical mob boss shit. It's Vinceposting, from /tv/ , Truedetective season 2
I knew a preacher man back in Johnson City, Ray. When I was a boy, they was building the railroad through the city. You know what that preacher man said? "Boy, they'll never get that damned thing to work!" Well guess what, Ray? I'm that train and I'm off the tracks now.
>>336799226
Caspere knew this.
>>336801202
/tv/ memes are always the dankest
Do you have to watch true detective season 1 to watch season 2? like does season 1 correlate with anything in season 2?
Ray, do you know what the strongest sword on Earth is? It's a blade of grass. Think about it. Today, I'm the fucking grasshopper about to come eat it.
>>336807501
Not at all. They're set in different time periods and states.
In this life, you're either the salt, or the slug. I'm as far from muculent as can be, baby, and live my life on the edge of a margarita glass filled with dreams of your mother's lamentation
>>336807551
well i know what im binging this weekend
We can't all be prom queens can we, Ray? Sometimes we gotta give a tugger to the second chair trombonist under the bleachers and we gotta tell ourselves we're better for it
>>336807746
Season 1 is a lot better, though.
>>336808164
im not really a crime drama fan, im only watching it because these quotes are gold. if it has that then ill watch, i do like some of the cast members in season1
>>336807389
4 u
>>336802889
>>336807017
/asp/ - Woo
Season 2 had a better overall story
Season 1 was more consistent and executed better
>>336804728
This is a good one
>>336807389
Except for baneposting, I really hate that fucking bullshit.
They always told me the pen is mightier than the sword. Well I ain't never heard of a fuckin' novelist killing King Arthur. Look at me now. I'm holding Excalibur with my own two hands. But I always remember to keep a pen in my pocket.
Sometimes you'll be the only person in the room who doesn't acknowledge the elephant. Ray, I seem to always be that guy who fucks the 800 pound gorilla in the room with his own bananas...and I have a sneaking feeling pretty soon my shit will be full of peanuts
>>336809294
HOTHEADS GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEE
>>336808164
Complaining about this season is like trying to get a hazelnut latte from a place that only serves espresso. Sometimes you have to get a coffee enema before coming to the conclusion that the espresso ain't half bad
They say time is a healer, Ray. Guess what, life is about running out of time and I'm the Swiss watchmaker.
You think making it big is easy? Like it is just a dime a dozen? You know what I realized? I spent a quarter and all my eggs are broken
You know they say never judge a man until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Well guess what Ray, I don't have any fucking feet
They say the apple doesen't fall far from the tree Ray, but when I look up all I see are fucking lemons
Behind every great man is a greater woman. Well mine is in front of me and I'm plowing her asshole, Ray.
They say people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You know what I say Ray? You fire bullets.
My father once told me that where there's smoke, there's fire. What he didn't tell me was that where there's fire, there's heat, and I'm all outta sunblock.
What did he mean by this?
They say you shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill, Ray. Well I'll tell you what. After I'm through with this, that mole ain't gonna just have a mountain, he's gonna have a fully decorated en suite mountain condominium with a little FUCKIN ski slope of his own, you hear me Ray?
They say you gotta deal with the hand you've been dealt, but I'm fuckin' playing the slots.
I was always told people like me were a dime a dozen. You know what Ray? They were wrong. I'm a fucking nickel.
Cinderella lost her glass slipper at the ball, Ray. Prince Charming returned it to her, but I was left on the dancefloor. You know why? I was the fuckin sock.
>>336798841
ill miss these threads
They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth, Ray. You know what I say? Fuck horses. Give me a car. Then I don't have to look my car in the mouth, cuz cars don't have mouths.
Ever heard that saying step on a crack break your mother's back? While I'm the fuckin dad left to raise the kid on my own.
You ever heard that it's all well that ends well? Turns out I was the well and I ended up fucking bone dry.
Sometimes it's not the milk in the cereal thats bad. Sometimes it's the spoon. And Ray, I think it's time we switched to forks.
They say a tree looks taller without bushes growing around it. So I shaved all my pubes. And you know what Ray? My dick got fucking shorter.
They say you shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Well you know what, Ray? I have a walk-in shower.
All we are is dust in the wind, well you know what ray, I'm a fucking boulder, and there hasn't been a breeze in years
They say you can take the cowboy out of the West, but you can't take the West out of the cowboy. Well guess what? I'm looking East right now and all I see is a bunch of Japs staring back at me.
They say don't judge a book by its cover, but you know what, Ray? I'm the fucking author and this chapter's over.
Someone wants me to take to take something with a grain of salt? I want the whole fucking salt shaker, Ray.
they say life is a gift, well you know what ray, my family never celebrated christmas
They say "be sharp" Ray, and I am. I'm like a fucking switch-blade. and nobody is gonna press my fuckin' button
A rolling stone doesn't gather moss, Ray. You know why? Because rolling stones don't fucking exist.
They say I shouldn't shit where I eat Ray, well guess what? I'm on the Oregon trail and I just got dysentery.
You make the bed you lie in, Ray.
Well I may be on my death bed, but I sure as shit ain't gonna be sleeping alone
My dad told me it's better to be remembered than forgotten. Well I'm a fucking scrapbook saved from a dumpsterfire.
They say you cant compare apples and oranges ray, well guess what Im the fucking pumpkin, cause nobody squashes me.
>You want a good girl, but you need the Fat Pussy.
What did they mean by this?
>>336816305
I am the drowned god
Some people think the glass is half-full and some people think the glass is half-empty. What they don't know, is either way you gotta wash it and I'm all out of soap.
When I was a kid, I went to Grand Canyon and saw a man yelling at it. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to hear the echo. I asked him what it was and he explained that it was the sound waves bouncing back to me. I yelled my name into the canyon, Ray. "FFFFRRRRAAAANNNKKK" and then...silence. You know what I learned that day, Ray? You better listen up because I never repeat myself.
I once told a woman that I was lost in her eyes. That was a lie, Ray. I never get lost. I never even owned a fucking map.
They say you should live in the moment, Ray, but the moment they say it, the moment had already passed. And you know what Ray? I'll never stop walking to reach my moment.
My dad was a math teacher, Ray. He used to always tell me when I was acting up that I was being obtuse. Thing is, he's dead now and I've always been a fucking circle.
God damn, S2 was so shit, but the Vinceisms are the best part.
>Knock knock, Ray.
>Who's there.
>I'm the fucking door.
>>336817130
>tfw S2 was supposed to be about secret occult history of the United States transportation system
Pizza fucking blew it hard by omitting it.
They say you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Well guess what, Ray? I'm the fucking mother hen.
I don't get it, are these actually lines from the show or are anons making this up?
Well if isn't the pot calling the kettle black. Well I'm the kettle and I say fuck you.
>>336817913
About maybe 10% are real. Some of them are really great, a lot of them are trash.
My father told to never make a scene. Well you know what Ray? I'm the fucking director
>>336798841
>Vinceposting
I thought it was dead.
Looks like the train's left the station, and I forgot to buy a fucking ticket.
The house always wins in the end. But I'm the one payin the fuckin mortgage.
>>336800168
came here for this
still the best one
ASS PEN
>>336817913
It's just emulating the way the mob character in the show talks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAGQGAv_tVU
They say it takes two to tango, but I march to the beat of my own drum, Ray, and its in fucking 3/4 time.
They say it's best to kill two birds with one stone, but I'm a boulder and I'm smashing freshly cooked turkeys Ray
Ray, if you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll take all your fuckin' fish.
They want to fight fire with fire, Ray.
But they don't know that I'm 90% made of water, and so are they.
>>336819467
This one's actually pretty good. I could imagine it being said by some Machiavellian-type who doesn't want to give his subordinates the knowledge or power to overthrow him. Make them reliant on you and they won't fuck with you.
>>336802581
You're literally a faggot.
They say two heads are better than one. And you know what, Ray? I have two and I'm fucked in both of them.
>>336808953
>Season 2 had a better overall story
No.
Y'know what caspere knew, Ray?
He knewnot to cross me
They say that two wrongs don't make a right, Ray. But I'm holding the steering wheel and from up here it looks like going left is right.
You know how they say measure twice, cut once?
Well I don't give a fuck what you do, Ray. Just remember I'm the ruler.
You? YOU!?
YOU!!!
They say there's no place like home. But Im a hermit crab, Ray, and my shell just became too tight.
They say not to cry over spilt milk, but my nipples won't stop fucking leaking
You know that old adage Ray? "Leave 'em while you're lookin' good?" Well I'm the fuckin' Homecoming King, and I ain't goin' no where.
>>336807254
people watched that shit past episode 3?
They say let sleeping giants lie, Ray, but I say hook the narcoleptic motherfuckers up to a polygraph already.
Ever listen to the sound an owl makes Ray? Well I'm the tree it's perched on and I'm asking 'what' not 'who'.
>>336821971
Stealing this line if I ever need to make a hardboiled detective character for a tabletop game.
Is this the newest meme? Because I fucking love it.
Humor is like a fart. If you force it, it's probably shit. And I have fucking diarrhea, Ray.
It may take a village to raise a child, Ray, but I'm raising Hell, and I've got the whole city behind me.
You know what they say about fire, how is enveloping? Well guess what Ray, I'm the torch.
>>336822610
It's an old /tv/ meme
>>336805192
>cray-on
WTF
>>336804728
Very nice. And speaking of nice, with broads like this it might as well be Cannes.
>Do you ever see snakes around other snakes? Its in their nature to be alone. To be survivors, killers. Thats what I am velcoro, a fucking snake in the weeds. Slithering around, shedding my skin of all the bullshit of this crazy world. Watch your step motherfucker *hiss*
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, well, let me tell you Ray, I'm 2 hours late for dinner.
You see that mountain, Ray? You could climb it. But one of these days that mountain is going to turn into a cliff, and then you'll know there's some places you just shouldn't go.
These are actually interesting as fuck. This is a dank as shit meme.
>>336807096
Underrated.
