Alright /v/, you're tasked with surviving 48 hours in the 40k universe as an imperial guardsmen.
The day of the week that your next birthday falls on will tell you who you're fighting.
Sunday: World Eaters
Monday: Tau
Tuesday: Orks
Wednesday: Tyranids
Thursday: Sisters of Battle
Friday: Necrons
Saturday: Eldar
Remember, you have to survive 48 hours. So if your birthday falls on a Wednesday, you'll the nids first and then the sisters of battle on Thursday.
How did you fare and why did you/did you not survive?
>Orks and nids
>right after each other
>>336554897
>he doesn't know the average lifespan of an Guardsman is about pic relate
Now add that to the likes of /v/. Its not going to be a very high number friend.
>have to fight eldars
I guess it's probably the best case after taus but fuck, I guess my lifespan is about 20 mins.
>>336554897
>Friday
It'll take the Crons all fucking day to get to me. By the time they're in range, the clock will strike midnight.
Then the Eldar come...
>>336554897
I'd join the tau you dumb nigga
>tyranids.
Couple of minutes after deployment if I'm lucky
Go jungle on all the commissars.
Dont die for the sake of dying.
There you go.
>>336554985
We'll die fighting together I guess.
Nah man, I'll be the space gooks.
>Necrons
>Eldar
WAKE ME UP
I would probably get zapped by the necrons in mid range combat, or if I survive that, one of them will tear me a new one in melee.
Sisters of Battle. Tip Top KEK I'll be raping some enhanced pussy as part of my male privilege once the battle is over.
>>336555369
>Go jungle on all the commissars.
>Dont die for the sake of dying.
IT IS BETTER TO DIE FOR THE EMPEROR THAN TO DIE FOR YOURSELF
THE PUNISHMENT FOR COWARDICE IS DEATH
>>336554897
>world eaters
fuck me
>>336554985
We stand togetherand die together
>Tau and orks
Well at least I will live for the first day.
>tyranids
Who I am fooling, I was going to die in few minutes in every case.
>World eaters
I bet I don't even get to deploy.
>>336554897
>Tau and Orks
Day 1 would be alright I guess since I have training as a soldier anyway. Day 2 would get rough
>>336554897
>Eldar
Oh bugger. Well, at least I am not fighting one of the more frightening xenos but I'll likely be shredded by one of their shuriken weapons on the front lines. Doubt I'd last long at all.
>>336554897
>Tyranids then Sisters of Battle
First day I'll ride in one of these motherfuckers. Next day I'll just lounge in my trench and wait out the last 24 hours.
>>336561637
>riding a tank against Tyranids
That's going to end well!
>>336554897
Be a farmer or go to Mars and be a techno priest.
>>336554897
40shit belongs on >>>/tg/.
>world eaters
>Monday
I'd last 24 hours I think, I mean the Tau have some nasty hardware but even if things go bad I can just ice my commissar and become a Gue'la auxiliary.
Orks would get me though
>>336554897
why would SoB and imps fight each other? are they not both in the service of the emperor?
>>336562652
Sisters of battle and space marines have fought before, sisters of battle are wildly fanatical. Wouldn't surprise me to see them go at it. That and I needed to add them, either them or the dark Eldar, who never even leave the fucking warp.
>>336554897
ask to be an artillery servant it's the safest spot
>>336562820
what about chaos?
>>336562979
World Eaters?
As long as I'm not an Elysian Trooper or Harakoni Warhawk, I think I'd at least be able to survive one day.
Then get BLAMMED by a Commissar.
But maybe I'll get lucky and get to operate one of THESE bad boys.
Another glorious day in the imperial guard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUW8sBaacQI
>>336554897
Monday/Tuesday for me As an ordinary gusards ´m very much fucked fighting either of them so I might just give up and defect to the Greater good at first opportunity. ¨
Say , would trying to get my hands on some better firepower and looting a Fire warrior ´s pulse rifle as a newb gue´la get me blam!´d or whaterver the Tau equvalent of that is? (probaly something involving an interment camp and brainwashing and/or castration).
But If I got rid of that rifle before I met an officer, the might make legit ayxiliary and that might not be too bad, at least compared to what guardsmen have to get through. Those orks might still rip us to shreds, but I have better chances with the Tau than the IG.
>>336561637
>>336555730
40k newfag here
Do Sisters of Battle even canonically fight against IG. I know you can in DoW but that is against lore right? Also how good are they as a faction even?
>>336564892
Sisters of battle are fanatics who fight for the emperor only, if they think there is a imperial regiment that is corrupted or standing in their way they won't hesitate to fight. Hell they would even try and fight the inquisition most likely which is something you don't wanna unless you want your planet exterminated or your whole organisation branded as heretics.
>>336564892
I forgot to add as a faction they have gear on equal level as space marines give or take, pretty much human sized power armors that you can't even manufacture anymore because the technique is lost so every armor is precious.
>>336564892
They have fought space marines and guard before, somehow always manage to get away with it.
>>336563459
>tfw your squadmates wanna get their rape on but you'd really rather just be back chilling at the mess
>>336564892
Imperial forces fight each other every now and then for various reasons. Sisters of Battle are the Adeptus Ministorum(Ecclesiarchy)'s military army whilst the Imperial Guard fall under the Adeptus Administratum. The Administratum and Ministorum often have different goals and a lack of communication between the two bodies is also sometimes at fault.
Say a planet has a holy relic, the Ministorum may send its Sisters of Battle to secure it, getting in the way of Imperial Guard who are sent by the Administratum to destroy the area.
>>336554897
/v/ would survivefifteen hours
>>336554897
>Tau
>Orks
This is going to suck.
>>336565234
Wow crazy bitches.
>>336565652
So they just start shooting each other on site? Can't they realize they are on the same side and negotiate?
>>336565336
So who's stronger? A regular Space Marine or regular Sister of Battle? Do the Space Marines have any older advanced armors?
>>336565403
How do they get away with it? Also who won?
>>336565789
I was told i would survive 8 hours as a squadron leader during my military training, the idiots below me 10 hours.
15 hours sounds like a step up.
>>336566063
lol immunity cat git fucked
>>336566063
I bet Tzcheec did it.
>>336566020
Anyone know where I can get thisfor free?I'm too poorfag to buy a digital copy
>>336566063
>Look mom I posted it again
>>336566063
Fuck you for passing my filter
>eldar
Mite be ok
>World Eaters
I'm fucked.
>>336564892
Every Imperial sub-faction can fight each other, in the fluff and in all games. The reasons are as varied as the stars.
Eldar. Then World Eaters?
There's no way in hell I'll even begin to survive. I may as well go all out and at least TRY to get a kill on a Eldar.
If anything, I'll probably be laughed at by harlequins as I blindly flail about.
World Eaters then Tau
Considering they're full of khorne zerkers it won't be so hard, but boy oh boy I hope I can get a on a basilisk to fuck they're shit up
>Tau
Maybe
>Orks
NOPE
>>336566259
The /TG/ general has all the books for download
>>336568549
Proceeding to investigate. Thanks!
>sisters of battle
Could probably last if I kept my distance
> Necrons
whelp, fuck me I guess.
>>336559246
AS WE HEAD FOR A VALLEY OF DEATH
>>336565234
>fight the inquisition
No they wouldn't there practically apart of the inquisition read the lore.
>>336554897
>Trying to survive
As an imperial guard it is my duty to give my life for the imperium and the god emperor individual survival means nothing.
Glory to the first man to die.
>>336554897
>Orks
Utterly fucked, wont even survive an hour
A single scratch from anything will give me super cancer AIDS
>>336568493
>>Tau
>Maybe
>Arrive in new world
>Ded by railgun
At least the ork has to cover the ground between your face and his choppa. Tau can hit you from the other side of a planet.
>>336562820
Dark rldat leave the warp for slaves all the time.
>>336574589
>A single scratch from anything will give me super cancer AIDS
What?
>>336554897
>Eldar
>World Eaters
I am beyond fucked, maybe a SM company will deploy and save the day though.
>>336565931
Are you fucking kidding you really asking the question of who is stronger a fanatical female militant or a super geneseed soldier.
>implying you haven't lucked out if the orks are one of your opponents
>>336554897
>Eldar
>World Eaters
>mfw super unfit, 5'4 and zero military training
Hour tops and that is assuming I am deployed at the rear of the army. Either way I am gonna die. Feels bad man.
>>336575345
>lucked out if the orks are one of your opponents
>mfw
ez tier
>Orks
>Tyrannids
>Sisters of Battle
dead tier
>Eldar
>Tau
good luck fighting with no morale tier
>Necrons
>World Eaters
>>336575716
>Tyrannids
>ez
>>336575646
Canonically the IG stomps the Orks without help from the Astartes more than any other faction OP has listed.
>>336554985
>>336555382
>>336559246
Truly the Emperor smiles on us this day.
I was reading that per capita space marines have a far lower life expectancy then most guard. Mainly becuase they are the first response after a PDF and thrust usually into the most extreme battlefield conditions hence their purpose. Also of course their up close combat doctrine.
That being said a SM likey sees far more combat then a guardsman and if one dies it's a far bigger deal considering through sheer investment chapters must go through to recruit neophytes.
>>336575842
compared to having either cunning, agile aliens with superior, accurate firepower or most spooky chaos or necrons with armor and regenerative abilities that my guardsmen guns cant deal with, leaving half of my company running away, i'd take a massive, charging mass of hivemind animals anytime. Atleast you can funnel them into a chokepoint
>>336575716
Depends if its a few bioships invading or an entire hive fleet coming for you.
>>336575984
That's because IG always have leaders who make up battleplans to deal with the orks. I guess it depends on the battleground, how the fight turns out
>>336576241
Tyranids aren't mindless.
>>336576291
Same could be said about any of the races
>>336576394
Aslong as their biggest tactics consist of "instead of going straight, lets go left, right or under", dumb enough.
>>336576172
There are usually only 1000 marines per chapter and they mostly deploy on the company level (100-200 marnies) and most space marines are old as fuck. I would say they have pretty great life expectancy as far as 40k goes.
>>336576475
yeah but pound for pound you would rather be fighting 1000 tyranids than 1000 necrons.
>>336575984
If there is one of the biggest mistakes any Imperial commander has made in history besides occassionally underestimating Orks and sometimes paying costly for it, its underestimating Tyranids.
That almost always has a much higher and more disastrous result.
>>336554897
> Wednesday
> Tyranids
come the fuck on...
>>336576815
I would be hoping for the warmth of the exterminatus to release me from my suffering before the tyranids got to me if i had to fight them.
>>336576815
>mfw an Imperial force tries to contain a live Hive Tyrant to try to harness and control the hive mind
Wonder if anyone has tried this. Am thinking akin to Weyland Yutani in Aliens.
>>336577623
The hive mind would constantly be telling the tyrant to tell the imperials to go fuck themselves.
>>336554897
>Tau then Orks
First 24 hours is easy, I just hide somewhere in some deep cellar with my field rations. Next 24 hours is worse, but hopefully the fight between the xenos will keep either faction from accidentally discovering me or wrecking my shit with random artillery. In a universe where survival is generally unlikely, I could be up against worse odds.
>>336575716
>nids and orks Ez
Holy shit you are asking for it m8
When the ground beneath your feet collapses with hundreds of claws and talons reaching out from the dirt you let me know how Ez it was m8
>>336576541
You know fuck all about nids m8
>>336575270
Well you said the armor is super good and ancient. I was guessing Space Marines are but who knows.
So the Sisters lost all their battles to Space Marines, but did they lose to IG?
>>336577623
Best guess, if there was any semblance of such a threat to the Hive Tyrant, its connection to the hive mind would likely snap in response and it would be little more than a huge animal following simple instinctive behaviour.
Besides, the notion of controlling the hive mind through a single Tyrant is like attempting to control a human brain through a single cell.
>>336554897
the real question is how long would the performance last until it breaks current cards
>Tau
I'll just ask for a cease fire
>Orks
TIME FOR SUM SMASHIN
>>336579152
>asking for ceasefire
>commissar would immediately shoot you
Orcs would just fuck you, period.
>>336554897
>tau and orks
Looks like I get to live out op's pic, untill orks show up. Then I'll probably get axed a question.
>>336576815
Second this, many star systems lost to those who underestimated orks. However I don't know any who underestimate nids.
>>336581069
Of course we dont. What do you think happened to all of them?
>Orks
>then Nids
oh shit
>>336554897
>World Eaters than Tau
Maybe if a SM chapter happens to be around, otherwise I'm fucked.
>>336577623
Thats close to as heretical as you can get, son.
>Wednesday
FUCK.
>Friday
Well, nice knowing you lads
