Please tell me that after so many zombie games you anons have come up with your own survival strategy during a zombie apocalypse.
Suppose there's a world wide outbreak going on right now and we only have 2 hours before internet stops working everywhere. Share your tips before it's too late. I'd miss you /v/
>>333882764
If a zombie apocalypse actualy happened, no one here would ever survive.
They'd be too busy asking for zombie porn
I'm not telling you shit. You're just trying to steal my plan
>steal garbage truck
>drive down the streets until I run over enough zombies
>drive to a place with no zombies and steal another truck or gas and repeat
>zombie apocalypse
Call me when you're ready do discuss a plan for a REAL crisis - a fucking raptor attack.
>>333883293
good luck with the traffic
>>333883345
>implying one can survive the Dinopocalypse
>>333883369
its a fucking garbage truck, you literially get out of the way or I am making you get out of the way
>>333883479
A Jurassic Park attack would be terrifying. I hate those little ones, they are like earth born piranhas.
make a spear out of a broom
climb roof
safely kill any zombie that gets close to my house
seens pretty easy desu
>>333883189
>tfw actually have a zombie fetish
>Humans vs Zombies game on campus next week
My strategy is to just fucking run since I don't own any nerf guns
Well according to reposted shitpost threads on here and other boards I'd be too busy to fight zombies since I'd be raping every woman in sight.
>>333882764
>grab sks
>go innawoods
there is no other option anon
>>333882764
You know I'm pretty sure there's an autistically detailed notepad or word document lying around somewhere on one of my old computers where I talked about killing all the people I hated like some edgelord then taking off and then making myself a home somewhere while growing a lot of crops to keep myself well fed and also reading on how to get electricity or some shit
As long as we're on this topic, what the fuck was it about zombies that made them so popular with teens?
>>333883771
What would happen once you run out of food?
>>333883479
>>333882764
since I live in Florida and have access to lots of large boats, I would first set up shop at the Marina I work at or join up whoever is already there. having our backs to the water is good and there are already high sturdy fences around the place being that there is millions, if not tens of millions worth of boats stored 5 stories high in the main warehouse. we would have access to an almost endless supply of food and water, we could easily last a while and save many lives. if shit gets bad we move the largest boats out into the water and form a large flotilla.
yes i have thought about this before, it's plausible being that we have tens of thousands of gallons of fuel which would be used less being that not many people will be using the water now
>>333883890
>what the fuck was it about zombies that made them so popular with teens
It allows them to construct edgelord fantasies like the one you posted.
>>333883890
I think it's the fact that they are undead. Don't we all go through the edgelord phase? Some of us stayed there though. Anyway, they probably think it's pretty cool and shit like that. They also don't see themselves as zombies since no game wants to add zombie kids.I just watched Cooties and it's about a zombie virus that only affects kids.
I live in a major metropolitan area.
I don't have any illusions about surviving a zombie apocalypse.
Zombies are like the least threatening monsters in history of fiction. So I just board up my windows and play vidya until military solves the situation
>>333884093
Wasn't there a manga with zombie kids in a school?
>>333882764
the problem is zombies are too easily defeated to be a real threat. Just lure them live in a place surrounded by a big ass hole, lure the zombies toward the house, they crush their body falling into the holes, use some kind of descending platform to get out of the place and gather food. But really they wouldn't ever get to the point where it's a threat, and if it did, I could never survive on my own, nor would I want to.
>>333883774
got you covered
>>333882764
I live on an island in the middle of the pacific, no worries here.
>>333883774
>>333884161
what if it's fast zombies?
sure, after a month the military might kill them all, but how do you survive during this time, not only the zombies but also the rapist biker gangs
>>333884102
I don't understand
>>333884537
I let them rape me
>>333884121
being that information travels fast and you would probably know about it before it even begins to spread like crazy, you would have plently of time to get out unless you are literally in ground zero. my reasoning is that I get automatic notifications as soon as someone attempts a spree killing. im sure my phone would be shitting itself if people started eating each other in the streets
>>333884360
what movie
>>333884537
>wear a cute skirt
>"service" bikers in exchange for protection
Duh.
I'm majoring in electrical engineering so that I can manage my own power systems post-societal collapse so that I can be comfy and play vidya
>>333884770No idea, sorry
>>333883942
She and Dylan only survived out of luck.
>>333884940
DON'T TEASE ME
>>333884360
i googled
>movie where man masturbates to female zombie
i got The Battery
>>333882764
After playing RE2 and RE3 I came up with the perfect plan
[spoiler/]Kill myself
>>333883774
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcON9ZmGDBc
>>333885092
>movie where man masturbates to female zombie
I'm laughing at this sentence like a fucking idiot.
>>333884770
>>333884940
>>333885027
I'm thinking zombieland, but that can't be right
Maybe that dumb zombie strippers movie?
Just wait it out. No first - world country would be threatened by deadheads at all, and the nuclear option basically ensures that at least one country will survive.
>grab sks
>stay innahouse and shitpost loudly
At least most of us know about singleplayer games. I wonder what would happen to those idiots that only play online and use online required shit.
>>333884458
>>333883774
> tfw not the only one
>>333883189
a lot of people think they could make it, but most of modern world isn't prepared to take the war at home
one thing is sending a military regiment to find in a foreign land and the other is to deal with that shit in your own hometown
a zombie apocalypse will like a war, but with the dead being the wining side
>>333884093
No more room in hell
Also, most people dont take into account that humans would probably be more fucking dangerous than the undead.
All the "hurr dur shotgun and chainsaw xDDD" fags would die pretty quickly and then the few people who survive after the whole crisis panic bullshit would die to scavangers, looters or gangs.
>>333885332
see
>>333885092
The Battery, to former big league baseball players struggle to survive in the zombie apocalypse.
>>333885550
realistically speaking, nukes wouldn't be used and the countries that would suffer the most would infact be third world countries and or those with very dense populations, i.e. Japan, Korea (who would most likely take drastic measures), and larger cities.
>>333886061
Yeah, the sad fact about the entire thing. Humanity on the brink and people will still continue to be scumbags and human toilets.
>>333886061
Oh, god yeah. Humans have gotten exceedingly fucking good at killing each other over the years - when you release the rules of engagement via zed apocalypse, there's gonna be some fucked up shit going down.
Again, its why my plan is to stay at home and shitpost loudly. Worse comes to worst, I break out my equipment and NVG and dip out west during the evening.
Main point of most people's plan should be avoiding other fucking people. Also, I've always loved the
>Oh anon youre so crazy, prepping is silly!
>Baltimore riots go down in the area
>ANON PLZ HELP I HAVE NO FOOD OR FUNS PLZ ANON
>>333885759
I can't help it. I just like the idea of fucking a cute zombie girl.
>>333886614
>Oh anon youre so crazy, prepping is silly!
>Baltimore riots go down in the area
>ANON PLZ HELP I HAVE NO FOOD OR FUNS PLZ ANON
>implying they wont fucking turn on you and kill you for your stuff
I read some crazy ass war stories of civilians turning at each other killing with barefits to get food for their families.
America would be a fucking chaos since every nigger owns a gun there.
>>333886614
>Board up and fortify house with all your food stores and guns secured
>People think you're overreacting
>When it all goes to shit they're being eaten alive outside your walls because you refused to let them in for being shitters
>Getting comfy until the military fixes everything
>>333883345
Ark. Except instead of a island jungle place it takes place everywhere in the world at the same time. Like a time space shift transports all the dinos from whenever they where around to the areas they inhabitied. All of them even if they lived in diffrent time periods. Dinos fighting dinos and dinos killing humans.
>>333882764
>actually wanting to discuss this
Hah! NERD!
/k/ here. I'll be fine.
>>333883805
Grab one for 10 bucks and have fun.
>>333883805
Wear a Sonic costume and just run
>>333887553
>>333886910
I don't try to hurt anyone, that's not my game. I will say that shitloads of people were harmed during the Baltimore riots, but our apartment complex (or, at least, our floor) stayed safe. Had enough food and vitamins for everyone on that floor, and I told them to yell loudly if anyone started breaking in or stealing from them. It worked out good and we only had one incident (dudes car got broke into).
>>333887006
Pretty much. After Baltimore, a few of my friends actually went out of their way to start learning medical and emergency skills purely because they wanted to have something to trade me for food and shelter. And in fact, one of them just got a job at Baltimore Medical because he started going to school for it.
>>333886691
Honestly for me it's more the transformation, it fucking turns me on seeing it happen to women
This would be very problematic come the zombie apocalypse
>>333888146
>running away with a group of survivors
>stacey's mom is transforming
>anon gets hard on
>everyone freaks out at anon's hard on
>stacey's mom kills everyone
So... no one is going to link some zombie porn?
>>333888278
I'd prolly be able to get over it in the circumstances.
>>333888452
This is now a zombie fetish thread
>>333888278
"This is my fetish" -Shortly before anon's death
>>333888690
> there is and probably never will be a porno with infectious lesbian zombie rape
Why live
>>333888862
All cheerleader must die, watch it. It's not like that but there are cheerleader zombies with lesbian tendencies.
>>333882764
Well I won't survive in that world so.
>grab a gun
>find the biggest hottest muscle guy around
>shoot him in the face
>fuck his warm corpse
>orgasm and scream "no homo"
>commit sudoku
Be honest, /v/.
Would you fuck a zombie girl?
>>333888958
Thanks Anon.
I have been driven to play shit games just for cute zombie girls
>>333889427
ye
Depends.
Are these the kinds of zombies who only eat people, or would they go after animals too?
>This Thread
Vampire girls are better
>you will never have sex with you vamp gf
>she will never cuddle with you post sex and bite you for blood
>you will never fall asleep together
feels bad man
>>333889629
Why is that relevant
>>333882764
What kind of zombies? Slow shambling Romero types, mindless fast 28 Days Later type, or Crossed esque psychopaths?
>>333889532
This is shit
0/10
>>333889631
You wouldn't understand mang
>>333889532
If the corpse isn't a mangle fucking mess and fresh, then yes, with a condom.
>>333889787
No fuck that. Last time I fucked a vampire girl I woke up the next day with a bunch of faggots standing around us before they killed her and told me I had to do dumbass shit for them because I was a vampire now or something
>>333889812
If they ignore dogs, then my plan is to turn off the lights, close the blinds, and sit quietly in the dark until the whole thing blows over. My dog will bark at them, but they will not be phased.
why were zombie animals in resident evil so fast? the zombies shambled but the dogs were able to sprint? how does that make sense?
>>333882764
just dig a fucking trench
every morning go out and stab the zombies that fell in the trench in the head with a spear
fucking shit is easy
>>333889938
>not becoming DIO
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>333890039
Game would be too easy and casual friendly.
>>333890039
Human zombies rot. Animal zombies get more muscles. Somehow.
>>333890106
Have you ever dug a hole? Do you understand how long that shit takes?
>>333883996
Just make sure there's no Bens around
Or dogs. Fucking Dawn of the Dead remake and Dead Rising 1
>>333890106
what happens when they pile up enough to walk over
Honestly, I couldn't handle it. I'd just off myself. There's no point.
>>333889938
Ome time I had a dream where I was in a vampire sex hellscape.
It really isn't as fun as it sounds
>>333890262
If only there was machinery that could assist in this sort of thing
>>333890317
Obviously you haul them out afterwards for disposal
>>333890296
>that stupid old bitch who got everyone in the mall killed because of her dumb poodle
Why do people think a zombie apocalypse could actually happen?
Well, first i'd head to a nearby pawn shop, assuming they're still open and haven't heard the news, i'd buy a gun, or five, or fifty, whatever, and as much ammo as I could carry, hopefully before looters set in. Head home, lock up, clean the guns, ensure they're proper and not tinkered with or anything, lock and load, head outside, get in my car, head to a secluded gas station about 10 miles outland, just off the highway, load up, fill up the three gas containers I have in my car, head out for sandia labs just across the way in new mexico, persuade them to grant me entry with electrical and mechanical engineering talents. I'm nothing special compared to what they have there but I can shoot too. That's probably a bit more useful than a scientist who can't do anything but science.
That's assuming I don't just lolbitten by some fucking zed ten minutes in to the whole ordeal though.
Also I played zombi recently, and it's really mediocre. Not bad, but it's just... Meh. The constantly respawning enemies in the home base makes it really fucking annoying to try and do anything in there, like fucking save. All the enemies taking like 8 whacks with the fucking cricket bat doesn't help either since you can't actually aim for their head, it's all random. Guns are obviously the best choice but
>20 bullets to a stack
>fucking TWENTY BULLETS TO A STACK
I used twenty bullets in the first two missions because the spread on the fucking 1911 you get is RIDICULOUS.
>>333890250
what about the birds? cutscenes and ingame models showed them as having missing patches of feathers and if birds are missing even just a few flight feathers they are completely incapable of flight
>>333889938
>literally the entire plot of vampire the masquerade in a single sentence.
I applaud you anon
>>333891042
>not getting something like a fire axe
m8 when you run out of ammo you're dead.
my house is pretty solid, I'd immediately drive to the hardware store with my trailer and get as much corrugated iron, nails, screws and timber I could fit. I'd then start barricading my house and yard as quick as possible. I could then sit comfy upstairs and shoot any zombies that get too close.
Idk what I'd do about food, probably try to turn my vegetable garden into the whole backyard, but I'd be really hungry most days and barely get by. But that's better than dying I guess.
>>333890317
you set the hole on fire with gasoline or wood
>>333891080
For whatever reason, only mammals become zombies. Plants, insects and birds just get bigger.
First rule of the T-virus: it does whatever the plot needs it to.
>>333891124
I have a crowbar and fire axe and bat. Those are just common supplies though, I don't have any guns suitable for self defense. Just a nugget. Which is great don't get me wrong but it's not really suitable for a city environment or travel where I may be in a tight spot and need 5 or 6 shots in rapid succession.
>>333891030
Or is this all for fun?
>>333891261
Or rather I should say, i'm not skilled enough with it for that to be feasible. A handgun would be better for me.
>wait for the millitary to deal with essentially a massive city riot
>they actually succeed because theres this thing called real life where things like guns, communication and tanks exist
>go back to work in a week
>>333891042
I just started playing that. Do zombies seriously constantly respawn at the safehouse?
>>333891546
After you get the supermarket set up and go back, they start respawning infinitely after they "break in". I went back and did a few more missions and they didn't seem to spawn during the main game, it was just much more dense.
>>333891261
>saw 90% of the barrel off the nugget
>you have a pistol that is also a rifle and a rocket launcher now
you're welcome, obrez is here now
>>333891708
I just did the first defense mission after vising the market for the first time. Should I bother trying to finish the game?
>>333883610
Have you seen what the mythbusters did by modifying and attaching a plow to a huge truck? They were literally tossing cars out of the way with such ease it was ridiculous. Snow plow OP
>>333887730
I would just lock my door. I don't think Zombies are smart enough to try to get in.
>>333891858
If you liked it sure. I didn't like the combat, and it eventually devolves into using the cricket bat for everything but the biggest fucks to conserve your ammo which you only get a few precious shots of.
Also pretty much everything but handguns is a waste, make sure you level them up first, shotguns second, rifles third.
I have two prep bags and a kit in my vehicle. Guns will be easy to get a hold of because I'm in the Southern US. I'm more prepared because of hurricanes, not really zombies. Make sure to have some books, I guess?
>>333891030
Muh viruses
Mass hysteria will be the real plague
>tfw of my friends I'm the only one who made an actually realistic plan to survive the zombie apocalypse
>tfw they say they would throw me into the zombie crowd to die and would kill all the zombies and become heroes.
What happened to sexy zombies
>>333893363
We were promised zombie porn. WHERE IS IT?
>>333892292
Aren't there any different melee weapons?
>>333893605Same place the real zombies are.They don't exist.
>>333893857
shovel and nail bat, but they're functionally the same as the cricket bat, with the bonus of being able to hit multiple enemies at once.
Still doesn't change that it takes forever for a fucking crit to show up and pop the head.
>>333893916
>All I can find it male zombie raping female living
why isn't it the other way around
>>333883871
This.
Resident Evil 2 has a zombie girl.
>>333883871
Hi there fellow /k/ommando
>>333894638
Indeed.
>>333894727
Rebecca?
Well only 24 days later zombies are possible and they would die of dehydration and tachycardia rather quickly, simply go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
After all the zombie movies and games I've played, I've tried to make a firm rule never to throw it all away for a girl. I don't want to live a real life escort mission.
I just want a comfy house in the woods, away from people. A dog would be pretty cool, too.
>>333894638
There is some anon! It'sChris Redfield being raped by male zombies
>>333896004
Pretty much if you don't have any personal ties to the group you are with then they are disposable. In that situation you should do your best to protect each other. But if it comes down to risking your life and going through hell then its time to say goodbye and leave them.
>>333895935
Hows that for a slice of fried gold?
>>333895935
>>333896493
>>333896587
>You'll never go get pissed with family and friends in the midst of a zombie apocalypse
Might be a miserable experience when shit goes south. Damn, Shaun of the Dead was too damn good
>>333883805
that sounds really fucking gay
>>333896458
>Pretty much if you don't have any personal ties to the group you are with then they are disposable
Then you are also disposable. You risk your life for others in the hopes they will do the same for you
>>333896269
I'm interested
>Have a link to a amazing female zombie on man doujin on sadpanda
>laptops broken and my phone doesn't get sadpanda
Fucking hell
>>333900079
share it
Take control of a harbor, basically do what that one anon from florida said earlier
>no cars to deal with
>one less side to defend
>doubt that raiders would be smart enough to organize an attack fleet
>fish everywhere
>make liud noises on boat to distract an approaching horde
>if shit goes to hell, just board a few boats and find a new spot or keep attacking and clear the threat from safety
>>333884458
>>333902684
This is smart. Why has this not been done in vidya/show before?
Just head north. Zombies will probably freeze in cold temperatures. Plus the further north you go the less dense the population tends to be.
