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Anonymous
2016-04-07 10:07:15 Post No. 333482690
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Anonymous
2016-04-07 10:07:15
Post No. 333482690
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>Never played a Zelda game in my life before
>Decide to try out OoT since I constantly hear about how great it is
>Get it on Wii store since I can't be fucked to emulate (pic isn't mine) using my old GC controller to play it
>Jump out of my treehouse, talk to this green haired person and start testing out the controls
>Alright so which button is jump?
>Notice the textures are muddy as fuck, oh well, old game I guess
>Still can't find jump
>Notice the C stick doesn't move the camera, realize this game is going to control like a fucking PSP title and need constant camera resets
>Still cant find the jump button, just walking around talking to cunts
>See some sort of river with some islands on it
>Alright I will go over there maybe there is a jump tutorial or something, I will figure it out
>Walking towards the edge of the pond
>Link suddenly just jumps over the gap
>Woah! What the fuck!? Did I press something? Surely I must have, that wasn't... haha no no, this is a highly praised platformer adventure, I will try this again, maybe the jump button is context sensitive and I bumped it accidentally
>Walk towards the edge again, this time making sure I am pressing nothing but forwards
>My motherfucking face when Link automatically jumps
>He automatically jumps
>Realize there is no jump button
>A fucking platformer with no jump button
>drop the fucking controller
>just stare at the screen in disbelief
>it hits me that I am playing the 5th gen equivalent of fucking Uncharted
>In fact even more casual than Uncharted because you still have to press jump in Uncharted even if it's all guided on rails after that
>It suddenly hits me that Ocarina of Time is the original casual garbage trash game that brought in all this fucking girl gamers and casual shitters with it's over simplified gameplay
