>Be right hand bodyguard for local prison gang boss.
>Life's good man.
>Just finished fapping to sissy painting of Kimball for the 8th time today.
>Some asshole I've never seen before runs up in our gang uniform.
>I try to stop him before he gets to Eddie so I can tell him my cool nickname.
>The moment he gets within 3 feet of him I can't move.
>Everything is frozen.
>Eddie can apparently still move his head, but for some reason isn't terrified.
>Doesn't notice either.
>Eddie gives the time lord foolproof jobs to prove he can trust him.
>Time fucker says "Goodbye" and I can suddenly move again.
>Jumps backwards out of the room before I can consider stopping him.
>Wonder how he got in to the prison.
>Couple days pass.
>Time Sphincter is actually chill guy.
>Still hasn't asked about my nickname.
>Times are hard though.
>Joe Cobb and Dawes are missing.
>Everyone is getting sunburn from standing around naked all day.
>Lost a few guys to a pack of wolves since all of our ammo is gone too.
>Chill guy though, won't scramble him.
>Eddie gives a more sensitive job.
>NCR might want their rusty shithole prison back, Time Lord goes to check.
>8 months of fapping to sissy Kimball.
>Hear explosions outside.
>Look out window.
>NCR are attacking.
>There's a guy jumping around the courtyard in power armor.
>Not shooting anyone just looting the bodies.
>Enters the main building
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
>Oh hey it's chill time guy.
>Embraces me softly in the time freeze.
>Asks about my nickname.
>It's because I mess up people so bad they don't know what part goes where when I'm done.
>"Goodbye"
>Time unfreezes.
>8 NCR soldiers enter the room and start shooting.
>Blood fucking up my fap material.
>Time Demon shoves a pneumatic fist in to my face.
>Time slows as all of my body meat flies in to different corners of the room.
>MFW I was scrambled.
>>329146707
>Be me a 300-year-old vampire
>Stuck in this little girl body forever
>notsobad.png
>Get candy and it's easier to fed on stupid people
>"Oh, please, Mister. I'm lost and I need to get home!"
>Gets them every time
>Astrid leaves
>Said something about some asshole stealing our jobs
>Two weeks later, she still hasn't come back
>Everyone is getting nervous
>I don't care
>Bitch was annoying
>Hear a knock on the door
>Creepy door does the usual "What is the music of life?" routine
>Guy outside says "Silence, my brother."
>howthefuckdoesheknow.jpg
>Cue for me to get out the fuck out
>Guy comes in with motherfucking dragon bone armor
>Starts slaughtering everyone
>Nazir is first
>The Red Guard always die first lol
>While wolf boy was getting strangled with Gabriella's intestines, I was sneaking out
>Later, bitches
>mfw Even if he caught me, he couldn't kill me because I'm still a kid
>>329148023
That little shit ruining my purge.
This is a good thread
>>329148023
The reasoning for this was to make sure the DB lived on for the next game no matter what you chose to do to them
>>329149518
>implying the reasoning wasn't that you can't kill kids in videogames
>>329146707
>be goombas
>oh fuggg da marios
>he squash me
>Nighttime security in santa monica
>Just got my GED
>Fucking goth kids everywhere
>Just saw The Matrix so trench coats are pretty cool though
>how are all of you this pale in southern california
>Cheerleader chick comes up and wants to fuck my folds
>mydickisdiamonds.jpg
>Black out for a little bit
>get fired cause all four of the paintings in the gallery got cut up
>nobody questions the massive blood puddle in the middle of the room
>nepotism gets me a better job at a swanky business building where they conduct business
>get to sit all day and carry a gun
>black-out fucked a crazy girl, got a raise, and got a gun all in one night
>todaywasagoodday.wmv
>be farmhand
>get to fuck horsepussy all day
>faggot kids keep bugging me and horsegirl keeps trying to fuck my horse even though it doesn't have a penis
>one day faggot kids get kidnapped by niggers
>forced to go save them
>the niggers are too retarded, save the kids easily
>next day i turn into a furry
>tfw i have no face to mfw
What game am I /v/?
>>329150498
Boku no Pico
this thread is a good thread
>>329150498
Twilight Sparkle
> Work at The Tops as a croupier ever since Benny opened up employment outside of his own tribe.
> This one faggot in full power armour rolls up placing maximum bets
> ohboyherewego.holo
> he instantly loses at blackjack, lost everything
> maybe the boss will buy that armour off him for more chips
> suddenly time stops and all I can see is some sort of still picture with a spinning roulette at the bottom
> tripping balls
> suddenly he's back at the front door
> walks up to my table again and just stands there for 10 seconds
> what the fuck
> he starts playing again and he has his original amount again
> this continues for hours and hours until suddenly he shoots at all the staff and dies from securitrons
>Blacksmith
>Soldiers and heroes come by to buy and sell shit every so often
>Always give them my best salesman lines
>Don't know what the fuck I'll do with all these rabbit's feet they keep selling me but whatever I'm sure I'll think of something
>Eventually start noticing this one hero who keeps dropping by is handsome af
>Like I'm not gay but goddamn
>A couple weeks later a fucking dragon drops out of the sky
>Grabs the innkeeper across the street and fucks off
>Apperantly he had a thing for the hero too and now they're fucking married
>Now I'm stuck here trying to keep a straight face while my bitch wife won't shut up about some big chasm that opened up like five feet from my store
>mfw
>>329146707
>be the greatest hero in the land
>Saved king marty or whatever, killed a god
>jump through a portal in the sea because why not
>do a bunch of quests for a faggot
>faggot says I'm him now, tries to kill me
>lolwhatevs
>turns out he's right
>now I have to dress like a faggot and give out quests
Fuck my life
>>329153158
>Sheogorath
>Faggot
Watch your mouth you fucker
>>329150498
CoC?
>>329154347
kek'd heartily but no
>>329149903
underrated
>>329154574
it was worth a shot, but I really am curious
>>329154670The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
>>329150498
TP. It was obvious at the horse fucking part.
>>329155037
>he says after it's been posted
>be the last of my line, youngest of my family
>my country is in ruins after several wars
>all young people died to a fucking giant and his gang army from the west
>only old fucks are still alive
>some weird foreigner comes and starts yet another war
>find a secret weapon left by my ancestors
>after a few days I discover they are actually some sort of suicide bombing machines
>I send the last one to hide in the forest
>foreigner manages to capture me before I can kill myself
>he keeps laughing while looking at me
>I plead him to kill me
>he superglues a mustache in my face and kicks me off from the castle while laughing his ass off
>my fucking face when
>>329152043
Holy shit my sides
>>329146707
Only a casual scrub fails to setup frag mines in such a way that when you leave the main building, all 16 NCR soldiers die instantly, and in a single flash of light.
>be literally autistic
>nothing extreme, just problems with talking to pepole
>gf brokes up with me
>feelsbadman.png
>call my only friend
>haven't seen him in years
>have a small talk
>he tells me to not worry
>feel a little better
>he tells me to wait a second
>"something weird is going on outside, i'll call you later"
>he hangs up
>never calls again
>it turns out his entire city got nuked
>tfw
>>329157770
The best part about the game is that if you're hidden when you place the mines, and stay hidden when they explode, nobody even knows it was you.
>>329157770
Why would you even do quests for the Powder Gang
>>329159036
So that you don't have to waste ammo on them just because they didn't like the look of your face from a mile away
>>329159240
I always just skip past them on the way to primm and just wait until I don't need to be in that part of the map/I'm so overpowered it doesn't matter. Makes the town shootout mission a fucking cakewalk
>>329159036
>Why would you even play video game?
>>329159036
Because doing quests for them lets you fuck up a lot of NCR soldiers and random bounty hunters.
That's reason alone to 'save' their shit prison.
>>329159240
Then you don't get to loot them for dynamite
