Oh shit nigger, you're a mutant eagle-man boxer that's also a cyborg.
You're fighting your second oponent of the season: Cyber Carl
What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>323527881
punch self in face
>>323527881
Eat your goddamn bird dick right here, intimidate him
>>323528117
YOu whip out your unenhanced smaller than average bird dick and ate it.
Cyber Carl is properly intimidated
spit back into his face
>>323528297
punch self in a face into knockout
>>323528297
use dessert storm
>>323528469
Welp
>>323528469
And the winner is...Cyber Carl!
>>323528779
But wait theres a second round? Givve yourself a proper pep talkgive carl kissy faces from across the pen, intimidate further
>>323528558
moral of the day: don't eat your dicks, kids.
>>323528779
Go back and train to point that your face becomes unpunchable.
>>323528779
cue revenge training montage
>>323528957
Sadly you have no lips so you just kinda flapped your beak weirdly
>>323528779
nurse your dick stump back to health, and nurse a healthy onesided rivalry
>>323528779
go pick up your kid from day care and pick up your blow from spider
oh shit is that your ex-wife and her new boy toy in the audience?
>>323529104
Create one-sided rivalry with a very confused cyber carl.
>>323529104
you get booted out from tournament hall for being noisy
>>323529104
we back in, round 2 , magic mike him
>>323529248
You started to do your best magic mike impression.
But since you're terrible at it you looked like a retarded chicken spazzing out.
Cyber Carl is even more confused
>>323529104
flex so hard you explode
>>323529474
carls tiny brain goes into self destruct
>>323529474
You're doing it, the movve is working. Pelvvic thrust into his unprotected head!
>>323529474
cyber Carl's head implodes, leaves less of a mess
>>323529812
Skin breaks off revealing...more robot!
INTRODUCING! FULL! ROBO! CARL!
>>323529812
too much freedom, cyber Carl head flies away from the stadium
>>323529812
Follow up by pecking at his head in mid-air.
>>323530117
>carl is fucking pissed
>>323527881
aw yeah, didn't miss the thread this time
>>323530117
harder
>>323530117
Squawk
>>323530117
go in for the KO!!
>>323530381
now you're fucking pissed
>>323530442
reroll
>>323530381
level up midbattle power up
>>323530381
wrong Carl op
>>323530513
[Squawk]
>>323530721
that's unfair to carl
>>323530721
use tornado hawk eagle strike freedom justice
>>323530721
ALL IN TO INTELLIGENCE
>>323530721
Beat your wings so fast you create a tornado somehow
>>323530721
use your new heat vision
>>323530721
Squawk at such a loud pitch that it shatters all glass in the room, including his robot eye.
>>323530789
"Yeah!" said Regular Carl
Cyber Carl is contemplating strategies
>>323530721
the ring turns to lava
>>323531012
Contemplate THIS *unzips penis*
>>323531012
punch regular carl who is brother of cyber carl
>>323531012
regurgitate missile dick
>>323531012
Lay egg
>>323531105
rerolling
>>323531275
now regular carl joins the fight
>>323531275
go for the KO
>>323531275
Give Cyber Carl a hug as a gesture of peace.
>>323531275
Cyber carl decides to show his true form... FULL ROBO CARL
>>323531534
Crush him
>>323531534
SURPRISE SUPLEX
>>323531534
cyber carl is supremely confused by the events of this fight.
round 2 end, begin round 3
>>323531598
"NO WRESTLING MOVES"
The ref breaks up the hug
>>323531860
suplex the ref, he has it coming
>>323531860
Quick question, are we in professional wrestling or rookie wrestling hoping to get noticed by professionals?
>>323531860
Hit him with the rule book
>>323531860
Randy Macho Man Savage heard that, and he is not happy
>>323531979Anon no!
>>323531979
>>323532049
anon yes
>>323531979
Swing and a miss
>>323531975
We're a boxer in a boxing league
>>323532197
Destroy rulebook, thereby negating all rules
>>323532197
Continue the swing into Cyber Carl
>>323532197
STRIKE ONE
and then he strikes you with a folding chair
>>323532259
"Joke's on you, we made copies, loads and loads of copies"
>>323532197
Uppercut Cyber Carl in the crotch
>>323532469
Oh yeah and where are they?
>>323532469
Hit Cyber Carl
>>323532469
locate and destroy loads and loads of copies
>>323532469
Go to the printing press and put an end to the rules once and for all
>>323532469
SUDDENLY, A CALL FROM JEFF AT KINKOS
IT IS BAD NEWS
>>323532469
scree finish the fight with gentle slap
>>323532538
>implying you can find them
>implying Im going to tell you
>>323532742
oh yea, well Im going to suplex you then
prove that I cant, in triplicate, and they better be fucking notarized
>>323532742
Rewrite the rulebook to outlaw all stupid skeleton referees
>>323532742
Do a flashy move with a long windup
>>323532742
Stop greentexting mid fight this isn't the internet.
>>323532742
they're in that closet with that rule book storage sign on it aren't they?
>>323532839
Unbeknownst to you, he's actually a robot shaped like a skeleton, the new rule doesn't affect him.
[Evil robotic rattling]
>>323533015
HATE TERMINATORS
>>323533015
bastard, he must be related to some king or something, finish the fight with a rocket punch
>>323533015
amend the rule to outlaw all stupid skeleton or skeleton looking creatures, especially robot ones
>>323533015
maybe he'll be affected by your anti-cyborg power up then
>>323533270
Hes dead now
>>323533270
>>323533339
>inb4 revival implant
>>323533270
>>323533339
regular carl is grieving over his brother and reveals that "regular" just happens to be part of his name
>>323533339
Who's dead now?
>>323533270
KO, Cyborg Carl is down for the counts and all other counts this match is over folks, this fight has been brought to you by APEX. APEX when your prostate gets cancer, get an Apex prostate to replace it. THAT'S APEX!
>>323533472
regular carl
>>323533472You're dead, Will.
>>323533472
The guy you just rocket punched dumbass
>>323533472
Everyone
>>323533528
Oh no! One of the audience member: Everyone McEverybody has been murdered!
>>323533746
Everyone explodes into a million little Everybodies
such is life in the future
>>323533746
We gotta stop the fight for a memorial service.
>>323533746
Is he ok?
>>323533746
Become a detective, search for the killer.
>>323533746
You are accused of murder
TIME FOR TRIAL Ace Attorney Style
>>323533858
"hhmmmmm...yep he's dead"
>>323533948
but is he ok?
>>323533948
morn
>>323533948
check again
>>323533958
[sad mournful SCREEEEEEEEEEEE as the national anthem plays solemnly in the background]
>>323534175
Win
>>323534175
take your hat off in respect
>>323534175
See what's behind Cyber Carl's metal face plate while he's distracted.
>>323534175
Suddenly someone crashes the memorial.
a bunch of everybodies stand on each other to make a normal sized man, everyboxer
>>323534474
So that means we win right?
>>323534474
Suddenly Cyber Pirates storm the building.
>>323534474
cyborg Carl loses his will to fight, Timothy wins. THIS FIGHT IS BROUGHT TO US BY OR LEADING SPONSOR!
>>323534474
Everybody starts to eat Everybody
>>323534635
Oh jeez, they're cannibalizing eachother
>>323534805
Now eachother is dead too
>>323534805
>>323534634
then cyber pirates kidnap the winner to space
>>323527881
what does this have to do with video games?
>>323534805
But wait, you're immune to being eaten!
>>323534934
Video games are fun
This is fun
I don't see a problem
>>323534876
You're declared the winner so you can leave and they can clean up the place.
>>323535064
What's our winnings?
>>323535009
something like this belongs in /tg/ or /co/ though
>>323535064
Sweet.
Cash money.
Or credits.
What do they use in the future?
so what decides this time? 7 or 9?
>>323535064
Oh shit, the mafia's back
>>323535064
Wait a second, something's not right here... That grave is fake!
>>323535064
Now track down who killed everyone
>>323535124
Woohoo.
You'll have to give the mafia a part of it later though, it's part of your deal.
>>323535162
Any highest in a minute
>>323535267
spend it on future coke and future hookers.
>>323535267
Tell them that you did it all for the nookie
>>323535267
We leveled up first though, didn't we.
>>323535267
Go out for a night on the town, completely forgetting about your mafia obligations
>>323535267
tell them you lost the match
you don't have it
>>323535267
Find out the exchange rate for present time dollars
>>323535349
Oh yeah, that
>>323535125
well since it's randomized by the post we make, and it's digitally drawn, that would make it more of a video game, think of this as a MMORPG.
>>323535506
All intoCHA.
>>323535506
all in luk Lock in
>>323535506
5 points to int.
Punch self in face for chance of concussion or doubling that amount.
>>323535506
heavy luk is best build
>>323535506
All in luck
>>323535506
all in int
>>323535506
Convert into 1 skill point lock in
>>323535628
clonk
>>323535710
now, run fast! the mafia can't extort what they can't catch!
>>323535710
spend are your 'cha points to buy shiracha from local future food vendor before those foodmemester get em!
>>323535779
Oh shit you tripped
>>323535710
use your newly acquired INT to try and comprehend this command >>323535831
>>323536010
Oh hey i was just looking for you
>>323536010
Roll to negate damage!
>>323536010
tuck and roll!
Then roll away!
>>323536010
ask if he was born in a small village
>>323536059
"Good. You haven't been approached by any vampires have you?"
>>323536210
Vampires can't really drain a cyborg, sir.
>>323536210
I haven't read the news yet today.No.
>>323536210
Yes
>>323536210
"Yes sir, they're right over that way ha ha."
>>323536210
How do i know you aren't a vampire?
>>323536210
holy shit look at this skinny faget, he believes in vampires, fuck my sides ayyyyy
>>323536258
maybe they are energo-vampires that drain energy.
It's future, after all.
>>323536313
That's stupid. They'd be called something more futuristic then.
Like Vampyrez.
>>323536258
Aren't we a mutant/cyborg?
>>323536360
vAMPEREs
>>323536384
a cytant
>>323536313
>>323536384
We also have metal skin from our mutation not based on any popular comic series. Would make it even harder.
>>323536451
>not muborg
>>323536464
I sure hope rust monsters are extinct in future...
>>323536258
"Oh they're not looking to drain you. They have their own boxer so they may want to sabotage you"
"Ha! Our boxer is more than enough to beat your shitty oversized chicken without any unfair advantages!"
>>323536559
Monologue about our past as a mutant eagle-man pirate, sailing the waves, nothing but the sea ahead of us.
>>323536559
What about that sabotaging happening right this very second?PERFORMANCE ENHANCING MUTATIONS!
>>323536559
Mecha Belmont mkII reveals himself
>>323536559
Fuck you
>>323536559
use our shiny metal body to reflect some sunlight on his smug face.
>>323536559
Maybe his boxer can stand up to us, but that vampire bastard can't.
>>323536559
>vampire in daylight
>without shades
fakempire confirmed, go cosplay somewhere else fucko
>>323536628
"BOOM! DUAL WIELD UMBRELLAS BITCHES|
>>323536791
NOW, STRIKE AS HE IS DISTRACTED!
>>323536791
Dash Punch the fucker through his umbrella.
>>323536791
Inform him that since light reflect back on every surface, he's getting hit by sunlight RIGHT NOW
>>323536791
Fill his dark soul with light!
>>323536791
The sunbeam blinds an airplane pilot and the plane crashes on the vampire
>>323536791
Or focus rays on one point and try to burn a hole in his umbrella! It's black, it's gonna heat up and burn easy!
>>323536791
reflected sunlight burns a hole into umberella
>>323536791
Sabotage their fighter by switching his water bottle with holy water bottle
>>323536791
Dont hit the camera man
>>323536859
"AHAHAHAAH! SEE YOU LATER, LOSER!"
>>323537114
Vampire gets hit by a random solar flare
>>323537114
tell mafia if he wants us to win we gonna need all our earnings for our enhancements
>>323537114
Yell "Rip vampire, you've no umbrella while under direct sunlight."
>>323537114
You can't protect yourself from the sun as a bat, dipshit.
>>323537114
Vampire gets killed by an owl
>>323537114
This is why we have 50 dex, reflect the sunlight off your fist!
>>323537114
Major Tom comes in straight out of nowhere suplexes that vampire asshole
>>323537114
he just left his umbrella, the sun is right on him.
>>323537114
He gets struck by lightning
>>323537114
HE IS IN HIS BATFORM, NOW USE YOUR EAGLEROAR TO FUCK UP HIS STUPID SENSITIVE BAT-EARS
>>323537202NOWRESTLINGMOVES
>>323537274
that was outside the match it's fine
>>323537430
it's about principle
you wouldn't suplex a car
>>323537169
"lmao, he doesn't have a plane shaped like himself"
The vampire plane shielded the vampire from the sun
>>323537519
The vampire plane, however, was also allergic or whatever to sunlight. It explodes.
should've just made it a regular plane
>>323537519
Scree at him as he flies off, falling to your knees.
>>323537519
remind him of the steel beams he's about to crash into and the truth about jet fuel and steel beams
>>323537519
I thought we were indoors
>>323537756
Catch the vampire mid-air with a wicked sick flip
>>323537756
>>323537806
fly after that fucker cause we're an eagle
>>323537495
nigga that would be a step down in my book
"Are you hurt? Try a little harder next time."
Big Boss Vampire Mocks the dead vampire as he readies for his match.
>>323537756
Play the bugle in remembrance of the vampire
>>323537756
throw more explosives into that explosion for good measure
>>323537865
literally Big Boss vampire
>>323537837
[Screeeeeee]
>>323538002
FUCKING VAMPIRES GET DUNKED
scREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>323538002
Vampire flies into the beak of a bigger bird. He gives us one desperate look, one last "I fucked up" look before he gets killed
>>323538002
catch him and give him to mafia, this is your payment
>>323538002
>escaping vampire
>hologram
>>323538002
"There's always a bigger fish" -Qui-Gon Jinn
>>323538002
fire our robotic fist up his ass mid flight
>>323538286
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>323538286
Of course we were flying just as fast and crash headlong into the bird.
>>323538286
turns out that you are really REALLY into vore
>>323538286
It's father, back from the war. How dare he show his face back here after what he did?
>>323538598
Let's cut to an interview with the current boxing champ,Rainbow Boxer
>>323538598
Breaking news, bird kills vampire then gets off to it? Stay tuned after the opening.
>>323538598
So into it that you fly inside the bird's mouth.
Dead End.
>>323538598
mafia let's you keep all your earnings for chasing vampire
>>323538695
>not flying in then fighting the vampire inside it's body
>>323538626
"Rainbow Boxer, what do you say to the rumors that you're a faggot?"
[Angry rainbow noises]
>>323538810
>not killing it from inside
>not penetrating your way inside the vampire to kill it from the inside, too.
Reminder that last night's thread was thankfully deleted and OP bitched about it on Twitter.
>>323538878
The angry rainbow noises translate to "Indeed I am."
>>323538878
"Actually i'm about ethics in game journalism."
>>323538878
>>323538796
and we shop for upgrades
