>Hey anon, put that video game down and take off your shirt! We're at the beach, not in a basement!
what do?
>>319527690
suck my di
>>319527690
go home because I don't like beaches
>>319527690
Fall back asleep.
y-you too
>>319527690
say no
i burn like no one else's business
The girl on the right looks like my dental hygienist senpai
I wouldn't be at the beach to begin with.
I can't swim.
>>319527690
who even goes to beaches desu senpai
Take off my shirt, reveal my glorious pale white doughy physique, pose as to make fun of myself and make the whole thing light-hearted.
Then fuck the one attractive girl with low self-esteem and low standards that actually thinks I'm funny.
>>319527886
What the fuck?
Why weren't you put into swimming classes when you were 3?
>>319527886
>I can't swim
Go away cripple-san.
Put on cloak of invisibility run away.
>>319527690
>>319527690
Why would I go to the beach?
Why would I take my shirt off?
Why would I care about what they want?
>>319527886
>i cant swim
literally no excuse unless you were born in a third world country or your family was dirt poor or some shit
>>319527845
yeah I guess
>>319527939
This. If this isn't your answer. kill yourself.
>>319527939
this without the first part
You MAY not have a great body, but all it takes is good confidence. And not being horrendously ugly
>>319527886
>tfw you had swimming lessons 15 years ago and were okay but haven't swam since and don't want to risk it
>>319527690
go along with the simulation
>>319527690
>Thinking a manlet has the right to order me around
Nice joke, OP
>>319527802
This.
>>319527956
>swimming class
classic american
>>319528046
>not doing the first part
Don't underestimate my moves.
>mfw when people swim with their shirt on
If you're fat enough to swim with a shirt on, you're fat enough that the shirt won't hide shit.
>>319528115
>mfw when you have no face
>>319528047
Anon you know you can go like a meter into the water and try swimming there. You do not need to immediately into the deep end.
>>319528164
The fear isn't so much drowning, or the water. It's looking silly.
>>319527886
>>319528047
Are you people fucking kidding me
>>319527886
It's okay anon, I'm a certified swim instructor. I can teach you how to swim. We can have private one on one classes at my place. Of course I have my own pool. No, you don't need to bring a swimsuit. You can borrow one of mine
>>319527956
>when you were 3?
What fucking toddler knows how to swim?
You can hardly form proper memories at that age, how're you gonna learn to swim?
>>319527958
My appendages work just fine, thank you.
>>319528036
I live in Northern Ohio where the only real body of water nearby is a disgusting polluted lake and 75% of the year is too cold to swim.
I could count the amount of times I've even been near an open pool in my whole life on two hands, and the times I've been in one and just one.
>>319528257
What's so surprising about not having swam in 15 years? The three times I was asked to go to the pools I just said no and I never really cared.
>>319527690
those people are really ugly
>>319528071
What is this overpaid funnyman even trying to say
>tfw you would be hot as fuck if you had a decent body
>but little to no motivation
>friend jumps into the water and floats to the surface
>friend's girlfriend jumps into the water and floats the surface
>you jump in and sink like a fucking rock
>>319528372
>tfw all your friends are fat
>>319528336
I'm saying if you're not retarded or disabled you can swim
>>319528360
>would be hot as fuck
But you're not. Because you're fat. Can't even put down a fork.
>>319528372
its not that hard anon, you just kick your legs
if you can't even do that just lie on your back or something
fkn casuals on /v/ can't even swim jesus christ no wonder everyone here sucks at video games
>>319528079
It's a common thing if you live in a desert or inland. More of a community daycare than a class.
>>319528257
I can't recall the last time I've went to a pool or beach, I don't even know if I swam correctly.
>>319528415
Uh yeah, that's just not true.
>>319528441
Okay but Jesus Christ you're a grown-ass man aren't you? You're not a fucking shih tzu you can fucking swim
>>319528576
Dude you are blowing my mind right now don't tell me you're not just some special dipshit snowflake and there's actually a significant subset of grown ass people that can't swim
>>319528440
In the UK we have mandatory swimming lessons at school. I assumed all countries did.
>>319528321
>What fucking toddler knows how to swim?
Australians
>You can hardly form proper memories at that age, how're you gonna learn to swim?
3 year olds can walk, therefore they can swim - or at the very least be introduced to floating in water
>>319527690
>video game
>at the beach
how? why?
why would i do this?
>>319528642
>tfw changerooms after swimming lessons
>tfw everyone awkwardly tries to hide their naked body
>>319527690
i wouldn't take video games to the beach in the first place, that's dumb
i have plenty of time for vidya at home.
>>319528360
>tfw gaunt face that you just know would look weird as fuck on a non-skeletonmode body
i forgot how to swim when i went on holiday last year
i hadn't done any swimming since i was in primary school
>>319528870
>your face doesn't receive fat deposits
Eat something once in a while, Mr. Skeltal
>>319527690
Fuck that moonjaw on the right is what do.
>>319528631
History says otherwise. Countries which teach swimming lessons have significantly lower mortality rates, that alone indicates that it's something which has to be learned.
In calm water I don't doubt anyone could swim if they didn't panic, but when you include tides, waves and general fear, it changes quite a lot.
Most shipwreck drownings of sailors occur within 200ft of the shore.
>>319528642
All the high schools I know of had forced swimming for at least a portion of the year during P.E. and I'm in California (which might partially be why). I played on a sports team so I never had to do it though.
>Knew how to float when i was 1 year old
Guess living on the Mediterenian Sea helped
>>319527939
I like you anon.
We should hang out.I'm that girl
>>319528969
I had swimming courses in gym (not classes), but we could opt out of them by writing a paper instead.
Turned my gym teacher into a fan of my creative writing and never touched the water.
>>319529163
ok great, call me. my number is 390689673
>>319528749
>that one girl who developed early
>>319527690
>take off shirt
>make awkward but endearing joke about needing to get a tan, thank dudefriend
>run before all of them and jump in the water
>enjoy myself, swimming around, hitting a ball
>get out of water, go get a towel, go to bathroom to change
>take off swimsuit, it drops with a *clunk* to the ground
>look in pocket
>the fucking handheld i was playing at the start
>its a vita, my vn experience with anime priness girls has been destroyed
>never go outside again
>>319529270
That's not enough digits anon.It's okay. I understand.
>>319527886
I didn't learn until I was 21. And even then, it's not a real stroke... just enough to save myself.
>>319528357
White men don't experience hate or discrimination on the internet
>>319529520I'm 22
>>319527886
I don't remember ever being taught how, I can just sort of do it
I think it's because of how much of a fat fuck I am
>>319527690
turn 360 degrees and walk away
>>319529515
damn nigga thats a cute shark.
I really don't understand how people "don't know how to swim".
Isn't it an involuntary human survival reflex that when you enter water you just wave your arms and kick your feet until you feel yourself floating?
>>319527690
>>319527690
this sounds like a beginning of a murder case in Conan
>>319528047
>tfw live in the rural mountains where there are no pools and the rivers are too shallow or strong to actually swim safely
Also my cousin pushed me into the pool when I was young so I got traumatized with water ever since. Now I just walk in the pool or up to chest level in the ocean
/blog
I know how to swim a bit but I can't float. FUCK
>>319529757
>Also my cousin pushed me into the pool when I was young so I got traumatized with water ever since.
When I was a kid I accidentally hit the deep end (not knowing how to swim) and nearly drowned.I mean, I managed to save myself by bouncing on my tip-toes back to the shallow end but it still bothers me that nobody, including my mom who I called for, bothered with me despite my cries for help.
I can hardly remember it, but I wonder what kind of affect it had on me in the long-term.
This thread was moved to >>>/trash/488562
