Oh shit nigger, you're a Barbarian.
You and your party fell down into some noble's dungeon of 100 trials while you were trying to find a kidnapped party member.
You're standing before the door to the 100th trial. What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
puch yo self in the face
puch my self in the face
Contemplate the meaning of the trials
>>317328826
knock politely
>>317328826
Punch self in face
>>317328826
The door is a metaphor
>>317329012
Every fucking thread with this guy!
>>317328969
"Who's there?"
>>317329106
DOOM
>>317329106
"you know the drill, jerk"
>>317329106
Punch self in face
>>317329129
"DOOM who?"
>>317329106
MR LISTER THE FISTER TRANSISTOR
>>317329175
punch self in face
>>317329175
Doom Vic Von
>>317329175
puch yo self in the face
>>317329175
MADVILLAIN
>>317329175
Guy Doom
>>317329175
OP dares to continue to go against tradition.
>>317329259
YOu punched yourself in the face
>>317329175
Yours, now who is this?
>>317329419
h*ck yeah
>>317329419
KICK IN DOOR
>>317329419
piss on the door
>>317329419
Punch in door
>>317329419
Now that we're fired up, resume knocking on door
>>317329419
He did it, the absolute madman!
>>317329419
Phew that wad close....
Almost had a heart attack
Now grab the man behind the door through dry wall.
>>317329465
>*
what does this mean
>>317329615
Knock on the door
with your fire fist this time
>>317329615
Ask who the door is
>>317329615
Knock on door very aggressively
>>317329615
it means FUCK YOU
RIP DOOR OFF HINGES
>>317329615
Knock on door with your ice fist this time
>>317329465
>h*ck yeah
what the fuck
>>317329697
"Aw c'mon, we just had that replaced"
Eat the sign, no one outwits me!
This seems lame already
>>317329879
HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!
>>317329879
REPLACE THIS
rip his jaw off
>>317329905
Pike in the face
>>317329905
"So your name's Johnny?"
>>317330034
JOHNNY DOOM, NICE TO MEET YOU!
Get in the Knights face and blow on him really hard
>>317330034
that's my dick's name
>>317330034
Jonny Doom Atrausticis, yes
>>317330034
i have aspergers
>>317330093
"Nice to meet you too. I'm Generic Knight No.134"
>>317330312
Move in for a kiss
>>317330034
Johhny DOOM noice ta meat yah.
>>317330312
Rip him through the door
>>317330312
introduce your whole group to him
>>317330312
now ram through the door with the party
your are the battering ram
>>317330312
CRUSH HIS HAND IN A SHOW OF STRENGTH AND HONOR
>>317330338
YOu moved in for a kiss
>>317330557
PUT SOME TONGUE IN IT
>>317330557
Well played dm, well played
>>317330557
Open the door, Im a fairy! Don't you trust faires?
>>317330581
damn my spelling and grammer is shit today
>>317330557
Now make that kiss a mayor
>>317330557
Inappropriately slobber all over the kiss in a suggestive and lewd manner, all while keeping DIRECT eye contact with Generic Knight No. 134
>>317330581
Door rammed
>>317330871
Dance party time
>>317330871
Surprised we made it through the door
>>317330871
Approach the guard seductively
>>317330871
OOGAH BOOGAH
WHERE DA IMPERIAL WIMMEN AT
>>317330910
Whats the theme?
>>317330942
"YEah, usually it would've taken a whole thread just for reaching the doorknob"
>>317331013
Stayin alive by bee gees
Ask where they keep the warp pipes so you can skip the rest of the trials
>>317331086
Summon bees with your bee call
>>317331103
"IN THE KITCHEN! WHERE THEY BELONG!"
"AYYYYY!"
"YOU KNOW IT MAN"
>>317331086
engage bulldozer mode
>>317331315
The final trial...is a fight against a REAL Rainbow Man!
>>317331315
Go fedora on them
>>317331357
"Hi, you must defeat me in combat to win"
>>317331538
YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT
>>317331538
Send in the peasant
>>317331553
Perfect victory
>>317331538
I GOTTA BEAT UP A GAY PRIDE MANNEQUIN NOW?
>>317331538
TAKE A FRUITY HINT OF PUNCH TO THE FACE
>>317331538
start crying
>>317331629
Peasant sent in....it wasn't very effective
>>317331896
See him in infrared vision
>>317331896
but who was the rainbow man from earlier trial room?
>>317331896
Rainbow privilaged much?!
>>317331896
TASTE THE RAINBOW MAN
>>317331896
Hit him with fruits
>>317331896
Use fire finger to burn and discolour him, causing him to lose his rainbow powers
>>317331896
Lightning bolt!
>>317331935
"A cardboard cutout! We don't have enough money for 2 rainbow men okay?! Even nobles have to take budget cuts"
>>317331896
stop believing in the rainbow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OqaVtCHIKY
>>317332134
Send in the cleric
>>317332134
mourn the peasant
melodramatically
throw magnets at him
rainbows hate magnets
>>317332212
>>317332134
And tell him he's not a miracle
>>317332184
[slow motion yelling with overly dramatic music in the background]
>>317332450
Rainbow man becomes disheartened from the tragic scene.
>>317332450
huck peasant at him to buy time
>>317332450
Send the cleric in
>>317332450
Eat the peasant for exp,he would have wanted it for you to do that
>>317332450
He's not dead, just broken
btw does the captcha move anyone else to the top of the page?
>>317332450
both of these
>>317332503
>>317332507
>>317332559
"the...captc..cha's ffffine.....at least..for me" said Todd the peasant
>>317332735
send in the gladiator
>>317332735
continue with peasant chucking
>>317332735
Send the gladiator in
>>317332735
retaliate by punching the rainbow man
>>317332735
Punch Rainbow man in the face so hard he ends up in a different reality
>>317332735
Punch self in face
>>317332735
Send in the black jew....
>>317332735
puch yo peasant in the face
>>317332885
No need to abuse tradition
>>317332972
send in the wizard
>>317332972
Rainbow Man channels his karate power
>>317332735
Barbarian ghost-mom is friends with Rainbow man's ghost-mom. She is ashamed.
>>317333005
by chucking him
>>317332972
Your mom's ghost begins to flirt with rainbow man
>>317332972
Run in with a leap kick.
>>317332972
chuck the peasant again
>>317332972
chuck all of your party at him
>>317333005
The wizard zaps Rainbow Man
>>317333395
throw the wizard at him for maximum effect
>>317333395
Rainbow Man demonstrates to us his full strength
>>317333395
throw a glass of water
making him wet increases damange right?
video games said so
>>317333417
"I'm so ashamed"'
"I know, right"
>>317333757
flirt with rainbow ghost mom
>>317333757
rainbow man uses "forced-tolerance-ray"
making you forcibly agree to SJW ideals
>>317333757
I want to fug rainbow ghost-mom.
>>317333757
Use a summon
>>317333757
Rainbow man complains that his mother is always judging his actions and won't let him be his own rainbow man.
>>317333838
"Hey fuck you anon, that's my mother"
>>317334032
Yes and?
>>317334032
Now you've done it
>>317334032
She's still hot you rainbow colored asshole.
>>317334032
You wanna fight about it fuckboi?
>>317334032
Rainbow mom accepts anon's proposal. Rainbow man dies from embarrassment.
>>317334032
anon grabs rainbow mom and rainbow man pursues, you can now proceed
>>317334048
"So how about you fuckoff back to whatever hole you crawled out of. Go on. Shoo"
>>317334250
CHEAPSHOT THE MOFO BARBARIAN
>>317334250
Ill crawl into your mom's hole IFYAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN
>>317334540
grab your peasant and continue onwards while not thinking about stupid sexy rainbowmom
>>317334540
Before you leave, you notice a 4chan thread open on Rainbow man's computer. It's an adventure thread about a viking in a king's tower of 100 tests.
>>317334540
NOW FACE THE RAINBOW CUT OUT
>>317334540
Quest complete
Reward is a bigger fire hand
Like over sized Styrofoam hand
>>317334647
YOu grabbed Todd and continue onwards to meet the noble and collect your reward for completing his 100 trials.
While trying to not think about rainbowmom
>>317334861
fail to not think about rainbowmom
>>317334861
...but there's no door.
>>317334861
Peasant girl shows up and tells you to stop
>>317334861
Get special reward! In room 100 because you are done with trials
>>317334949
"Ah yes! YOu have beaten the 100 trials! Congratulations, here is your prize: a loot chest. BUT WAIT! If you dare to take another gauntlet of trials you'll get both this and an even bigger chest!"
>>317335119
Depends on how many trials are in this new gauntlet.
>>317335119
open the chestit's your dad's skull
>>317335119
Visions of shiny loot cloud your judgement and you forget why you came in the first place. More trials!
>>317335119
Fuck that chest right in the pussy
>>317335119
tell him to go fuck himself
>>317335119
Hmmm say yes then god fast forwards to trial 199.
>>317335158
"200! It's like you can get double the previous number of trials you've completed but for the price of one!"
>>317335284
nah fuck off gibe me that chest
what do have, some kind of fetish for trials?
>>317335284
Ask him to write his math down on a sheet of paper because its confusing
>>317335318
"Ah yes! Here is your prize! A gift from the King himself! It's apparently a Barbarian Helm fashioned from a skull of some beast! I heard it has a stat boosting enchantment"
>>317335550
and the thing speaks
reunite with your dad
>>317335550
Double the skull hats, double the trials!
>>317335550
Wear it. It does absolutely nothing
>>317335601
"Bruh, your dad is being held in the king's dungeon right now"
>>317335756
wear the talking helmet
check the stat boost
>>317335756
Slap it for saying "bruh"
>>317335756
regret that the helmet speaks
>>317335756
Discuss politics with the helmet over tea and cookies.
>>317335992
make it a codpiece instead
>>317335992
helmet flirts with ghost mom
>>317335992
proceed to the peasant girl
>>317335992
King's dungeon is in the castle of 305 torments.
>>317335992
Where's the peasant girl we came to rescue?
>>317336096
YOu discussed politics over tea and cookies with the talking helmet
>>317336301
WHO'S MY FATHER'S CAPTOR
>>317336301
turns out the nobel raped and killed the peasant girl while we were busy doing all those trials
>>317336301
Become enraged over the talking helmet's ignorant views
>>317336335
"My long-lost daughter is no longer a peasant! She's a noble now"
>>317336543
fuck him up and steal the girl
>>317336543
oh well she is in good hands now
>>317336543
trade talking helmet for female noble
>>317336543
Ask the girl if that's true
>>317336543
Play his game and use the talking helmet as a puppet
>>317336657
"Well my peasant parents did always remind me that I'm adopted whenever I do something wrong"
>>317336805
Ask for some gold
>>317336805
Take the girl and run
>>317336805
I want to cuddle with her.
>>317336805
[CUDDLE INTENSELY]
>>317336845
"What? That helmet's not enough of a reward for you?! Gold don't grow on trees you know"
>>317336974
Point to the gold tree the man is standing under right now
>>317336974
What about the gold trees in you yard
>>317336974
Fuck you, you've got a gold tree acre
>>317337035
"What gold trees?! THey're...uh...lemons"
>>317337216
As if you can milk the lemons
>>317337216
You're not a noble, you're a fake.
>>317337216
Let me taste your lemons then
>>317337216
Perfect, I love my tea with some lemons
>>317337216
But lemons are even more valuable than gold due to their scarcity and high-valued sourness
>>317337216
Ask for some lemonade
>>317337216
Nice sign
>>317337309
"Perfect! HEre's a lemon, goodbye!"
THen he slams the door shut
>>317337450
so he forgot the girl in this room? Master plan worked
>>317337450
That's what you get for not putting any points in intelligence.
>>317337450
Milk the lemon
>>317337450
Well you know what they say, when life gives you lemons makeTHAT FUCKING CHEAPSKATE GIVE US HIS GOLD
>>317337450
We're not even outside the tower
Do i hear moaning
>>317337450
Burn his tower down.
>>317337518
Yeah. You get lemons! Awesome!
>>317337625
You better milk that lemon
>>317337625
noble left little girl with us in haste of hide gold trees
>>317337625
Chew on the lemon.
>>317337837
But he also left her with her own personal bodyguard
>>317338082
Exchange the lemon for the girl.
>>317338082
challenge him at Lemon Eating competition
>>317338082
Recruit bodyguard
>>317338082
Offer lemon to bodyguard, what left of it anyway
>>317338178
"Sorry, my job is to stay here and protect the little lady"
>>317338251
"If I bring the girl with me you'll still be able to protect her."
>>317338306
"What? A lemon eating contest with one half-eaten lemon?"
>>317338251
I'm a little lady, check my license
>>317338251
but your boss is an asshole
>>317338398
Tell him there are more lemons in the room marked "Gold tree farm"
>>317338398
You want it or not?
>>317338398
no no, the every year contest which is going outside your wall
I heard the price is outstanding (two little girls)
>>317338529
fug, I meant prize
>>317338529
"Oh yes, this contest is held yearly right here good sirs. Would you like to test yourselves?! Only two little girls per entrant"
>>317338679
The winner gets all little girls which were contributed I suppose?
>>317338679
Mom's disembodied head is small enough to be considered a little girl right?
>>317338749
just put that head on a peasant
>>317336805
Explode nobles face with fire hand
"You are now"
>>317338749
"Nah, too old"
