Meanwhile, on Space Pirate /v/...
guys...does it ever feel as if you only like tubes because you're supposed to?
>>288537739
That depends, Pirate Anon.
How do you feel about Making Science?
>tfw you will never fuck the hunter
>>288537860
you know, I don't mind science but "like" is such a strong word
Guys, I've improved my shitposting efficiency by 14% using a combination of Geemer venom and stimulants!
Do you guys think Metroids would make good pets?
>tfw no gf
>>288538436
>Geemer venom
>not using a combination of Zoomer excretions and superior War Wasp venom
It's like you don't even want to shitpost with maximum efficiency.
>>288538561
I keep feeding mine rations but it's starting to harden and get sluggish. I'll probably feed Pirate #3789 Beta to it, he's a terrible roommate.
>>288538657
Galactic Federation sympathizer spotted, I have already reported you to High Command, enjoy organic processing.
>>288539196
>but it's starting to harden and get sluggish
Doesn't that mean it's evolving? I thought Metroids had a ton of forms they evolved to.
ayy lmao
>>288539196
HIGHEST KEK
>>288539359
Unless that Pirate Anon has been exposing his Metroid to lots of Phazon (and why the fuck wouldn't he be?), it'll only evolve in the atmosphere of that one planet that the Hunter blew to shit.
Speaking of which, what makes her so fucking great? At least we don't go around blowing planets to fucking dust, it's so wasteful.
>>288537931
>being this much of a degenerate
Lord Ridley will execute you for your heresy.
>Finally get paid for my work in the Phazon Mines before The Hunter blew them the fuck up
>Spend all of my credits on vidya injections
>Turns out X-Stims and Playjections do not mix well
>Wasted all of my money
>Have to eat Scritters for food
>Literally cannot stop shitting
>Shit is semi-sentient due to phazon
Fucking Game Command.
>>288537502
There is a distinct lack of tubes in this thread.
How the fuck is air supposed to travel without tubes you dumbasses?
>>288539772
>letting a gigantic spindly retard dictate what gets your tube going
lol
>tfw no matter how many letters you sent to earth, they still don't want to invite the captain to that party with the hunter and those other earthlings
>>288539635
>At least we don't go around blowing planets to fucking dust, it's so wasteful.
We could have easily recovered a lot of our assets on Zebes had we not dusted it. Our policy of nuking planets we deem "lost" is really killing us in the end.
Also WHO THE FUCK keeps clogging the latrines?
>>288539630
Fuck off, Science Team. We know that's you.
>>288539991
>clogging
Maybe they should have been built with bigger tubes you Space faggot.
So I was Stationed on SR-388 a few days ago and I encountered this weird jello thing. It floated around a bit and then it disappeared? Should I be worried? I have 37 eyes now, which is weird because I originally only had 35 after Phazon enhancement.
>>288539935
>forgetting that this board is constantly monitored
Nice knowing you, Pirate Anon.
>>288539991
It was that brain-whore's idea to keep installing thermonuclear "failsafes" in the center of our goddamn bases. I'm actually thankful that the Hunter ceased her life functions.
>ridley calls me in to have a chat
>says he's not going to tolerate me getting blown up and cloned anymore
>rations reduced by 50% for 3 cycles
FUCK YOU YOU GET BLOWN UP MORE THAN ANY OF US COMBINED AND YOU GET LASERS AND SHIT AS A REWARD
I want to clone Ridley so I can report Ridley to clone Ridley and then let the Hunter into the base to destroy both.
Why does this place want me to confirm I'm not a robot? This is discrimination.
>>288540394
So we all agree that bring that bitch on board was a mistake right? I mean sure she's smart, but it was always "METROIDSSSS" with her. At least Science Team experiments with reverse engineering the Hunter's weapons and creating new genetic mutations to inject into ourselves.
>>288540602
Why don't we just clone a hundred Ridley's and send them at the hunter? She can't have infinite missiles, right?
Oh shit, does she have infinite missiles? Does science team know?
>>288540692
>>288540394
You know she's reading this thread right? You guys are probably already dead.
Guys I just lost our Lord Ridley's invitation to that event he's been waiting all his life to get into, that "Smash Brothers" thing. I cant find it anywhere, what do I do?
>>288540819
Oh please, The Hunter killed her. Why would anyone clone a fat brain that shoots rings?
>>288540710
This made me laugh harder than it should have.
Nice anon.
>>288540602
>getting blown up
>not just fucking hiding anytime you see the Hunter coming
You need to start requesting GF planet raids instead of that planetary research base detail excrement. Those troopers go down in like two blaster shots and they're only like half our size.
>tfw you've cornered the last trooper in a squad and he surrenders, thinking you'll show mercy
I'm literally more likely to show mercy to a Geemer.
>>288540394
good luck I'm behind 7 metroids
>>288541010
>7
good luck i'm behind metroid prime
>>288541004
There are pirates in this thread that have been killed by the hunter and cloned.
How does it feel to have vapor for brains?
>>288541220
literally who
>>288539772
only due to jealousy
>>288541431
she was our leader for a little while?
blue? glowing? helped us inject ourselves with her phazon?
>Want to work out
>Go on Phazon diet
>Get huge Phazon Muscles
>Showing off to everyone
>Hunter eradicates Phazon
>Back to being pic related
>>288540692
100% agreed. High Command letting that bitch be in charge was a G-Fed-tier fuck up. Ridley may not be as science-minded as she was, but he's at least one of us and that's why we have fucking Science Team in the first place.
>>288540819
>not keeping up with Mission Control
Maybe if you took your pincers off your tube for ten seconds you'd know who was in charge these days.
>>288541587
>these where so fucking good
goddamn hunter destroying all phazon
Sup nerds, what's it like serving under an incompetent boss?
Guys what your tubing fuel
>>288539196
UNDERRATED POST
>>288541587
I'm pretty sure she was called the Dark Hunter, vapor for brains.
>>288541587
You mean the Dark Hunter?
What's this "Metroid Prime" crap? She wasn't a Metroid. Was she?
Fuck, I can't even remember. I was in a blue haze that whole fucking time.
>>288537739
Would someone get this vaporhead out of here?
>>288541737
Stop stealing our fucking Metroids you bastards. You can't just change their name and call them your own.
>>288541796
>she
>>288541739
>anything but High Command-approved rations
Not all of us were genetically engineered to serve directly under High Command, you parasite.
>just got my organs transplanted to the outside of my ribcage
>feeling stylish as fuck
>go down to the ration consumption area
>everyone but me has a sword arm now, and a giant lobster claw on the other hand
>that one qt with the spiked carapace pauldrons sees me and starts laughing
>they all laugh
>slurp my nutrients out of the ration tube as quick as I can and walk out immediately in shame
How do you guys keep up? I feel like I'm always being left out with these new trends.
>>288541963
Hunter is a boy because he's red, Dark Hunter is a girl because she's blue like the Hunter's blonde girlfriend.
>>288541796
>>288541771
guys we fucking named her Metroid Prime on Tallon IV,
and took us to Phaaze, once she started rockin the hunters tight bod
so only some zoomer for brains can't put two and tubes together
Kraid is a much nicer commander than Ridley
He lets us ride his belly spikes and trim his claws
>>288540841
Can I have your rations?
>Time for my daily Phazon-Steroid injection and Glowing Fungus ration pack
>Leave my Living Pod
>Forget to bring my Hazard Suit
>lose 1/3 of my body to acid rain
Guys maybe we should think about doing something about this.
>>288542023
>stationed on Aether
>get possessed by one of those gooey black things
>wake up on a ship headed back home
>have this slick fucking armor
Request scout missions, get possessed/enhanced by something, enjoy copulation to breed your new unique traits.
>>288542123
>We named it
>We
Oh, it's one of the stupid ass pirates from the NA division. You guys were given false reports by High Command due to your sheer incompetence.
The only thing that happened on Tallon IV was getting our thoraxes handed to us by the Hunter. We didn't even have success mutating metroids.
>>288542023
don't take it to hard, met some guy the other day and guess he was doing? He was yelling all "praise the dark hunter", apparently he'd been stuck in maintenance for 10 years and never realized what happened to her
>>288542123
[spoilers]It's never implied the Space Pirates knew the connection between Metroid Prime and Dark Samus.
>>288542395i know
>>288542171
Hey we're working on increasing the amount of damaging particles in the atmosphere you can only do so much damage you know.
>there are pirates reading this RIGHT NOW that believe in the Tallon IV ghost stories
Lmao I bet you fags believe in Santa and Bigfoot too
>>288542123
I wasn't stationed on Tallon IV, you Ki Hunter, how the fuck was I supposed to know that our new leader that looked exactly like the Hunter was some kind of super Metroid thing?
>>288542171
>not having your hazard suit integrated into your carapace
Look at this loser, I bet he didn't even have enough credits to play Ridley Prime 2.
>>288542339
science team here
you are aware that armor's made up of a sapient mind-controlling parasitic organism right?
>>288542023
Just try to predict them ahead of time. I bet you anything that two giant lobster claws will be in in no time at all.
Hell, I'm trying to set the trends. Me and my bro are getting Gold Carapace modifications and have been watching old Terran combat videos called "kung fu."
TUUUUUUUUBES
>>288542613
You saying my armor can't be my husbando?
>>288542594
Lord Ridley's incarnation was there so I would think he would let you know once you guys revived him on the homeworld
>>288542704
I'm saying that armor's probably smarter than you by this point in which case...ah nevermind
>>288542613
Fuck, that would explain that whispering I hear during stasis.
>>288542628
>>288542559I'm happy to share a board with people like you.
>>288542613
So are the Power Latrines but you don't see me complaining about it.
>>288542613that makes it better
>>288541595
First thing I did after getting into the Elite program was to visit those ration-stealing assholes at E-barracks and flex so hard they all melted into blue goop. Good times.
>>288542023
Claws are ungainly as fuck. Knew a guy who had two and he was killed by the hunter because he couldn't open a door.
>>288542874
we can open doors?
>>288541595
>dem slender legs
You are perfect to me.
>>288542594
Ridley Prime 2 was such an obvious rush job though. Reused assets everywhere, and the Acid World/Phazon World system made exploration a chore.
>>288542814
wait but the power latrines aren't supposed to be
OKAY WHO'S THE FUNNY GUY THAT INSTEAD OF PROPERLY DISPOSING OF MY TENTACLE EXPERIMENT DUMPED THEM DOWN THE LATRINE
if I get my dawn claws on you I'm signing you up for morph ball testing
Hey guys I just found out a way to clone metroids! I'm selling them super cheap, order your own metroid pet before it's too late!
>>288542874
>killed by the hunter because he couldn't open a door
You know, for that matter, how exactly DO you open those doors with the red lights around them? They installed one on the way to my workstation, and the only way I've found to lower the forcefield is to light my hands on fire before I open it. It's pretty inconvenient.
>>288543013
>I don't like backtracking
this is reasonable in a game about burning everything with your lazer breath, and breaking down buildings with your bodyslams, while chasing the hunter to her untimely death
>>288543135
Don't even joke about that, or I'll report you to high command.
WHAT ARE YOU GODDAMN SLACKERS DOING HERE? TUBE PRODUCTION IS SEVERELY LAGGING?
>>288542967
I open them all the time, but there's always some weird barrier in the way. I've been stuck inside of a hallway for 7 cycles now. I've been drinking the water that forms on pipes and I've been eating these Zoomers that keep showing up. You'd think I would have eaten them all by now, but every time I turn around another one appears. Sometimes they even have missiles in them. Science Team must be bored again.
>>288543175
>>288543013
I'm not going to say it was as good as Ridley Prime, but goddamn if it wasn't still a solid game.
I'm sure we can both agree it was at least better than Ridley: Other R. No fucking idea what Recreation Team was thinking on that shit.
>>288542874
>claw hands
>Galactic Cycle 2XXX
>still using melee weapons
I ridley-diddly doo.
>>288543182
You think you have it bad? I work in the caverns and the doors are fucking COLD sensitive. We're in the middle of a magma tube and they want us to carry around blocks of ice to get through the doors.
>>288543175
spambot pls go
Guys, that squid thing guarding Tourian is seriously creeping me out. My CO sent me to survey the wrecked ship to... confirm it was still wrecked I guess, and I got attacked by some skull-looking things that I'm sure are 100% unscientific. Then Phantoon sort of phased in and out of existence and tried to do some real spooky shit to my head! I only escaped by focusing all my mind on my love for tubes. Just letting you guys know, because that thing is straight out of creepyrations.com.
When were we supposed to start the Kraid resurrection program? We've had his remains sitting in storage for some time and it's starting to stink up the place.
>>288543372
Ridley other Roar wasn't that bad, it just had some science team fanboy with a fetish for master ridley being some weak hunter
gameplay was severely limited by needing a giant claw, and removing you other arm to play
>>288543398
and that's why you're stuck doing manual labor
its the perfect plan really, see it takes you several people working in unison to get said ice cubes to the door before they melt so you can open them right?
Well THERE IS ONLY ONE HUNTER, so there's absolutely no way she can ever get ice cubes to the door
and that's why I'm in charge and you're working for the right to a continued existence
wud u fug his tube arm?
>>288543502
Science team proved that "Phantoom" is just a myth three cycles ago. I suppose next you'll tell me you believe in the ghosts on Tallon IV?
>>288543502
>Believing in ghost stories
You're as bad as those Tallon whiners who kept claiming to see "Bird Ghosts".
So I started keeping my pet metroids in the phazon tank I built for them. Then I noticed my tank was broken apart and saw these husks next to them.
What do?
>>288543708
>his
lmao the boss is gay????
>>288543615
Apparently High Command has some new mission for us, but it's not going to be officially unveiled until sometime during the middle of the cycle, or maybe even later.
Maybe we'll get to Meta-ing his fat ass then.
>>288543502
Phantoon was always creepy. I kinda just steer clear of that thing whenever we're on a mission with it.
>>288543723
>>288543735
It appears that Project: HIVEMIND is proceeding as planned. Science Team is doing good work.
>>288543708
the hunter knows the power of the tube
if we only knew her secret we could concur the galaxy
please make this site more kihunter friendly, you are all triggering me
I stuck my dick into Phazon batch 0198 C and my dick literally won't stop growing. Wat do
>>288543923
Counteract the phazon with more phazon, duh.
>>288543770
get another metroid, and another phazon tank until that doesn't happen
>>288543923
Image data or it didn't happen.
>>288543923
Kill yourself and transfer your consciousness into a clone.
>>288543923
>my dick literally won't stop growing
i'm not seeing a problem here piranon
>>288543923
get promoted?
>>288544029
It's like this. I wish I could say "except less flowery", but as of five minutes ago I'd be lying.
Ridley a shit.
A SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
>>288543923
I see the dick/phazon testing is showing promising results
Cant wait for the Phazon FleshTubes to be released
>>288544227
(USER WAS EXECUTED FOR THIS POST)
>>288543923
>Phazon batch 0198 C
Cut it off then shoot it before it gets out of hand. Or just call Science Team, they love new specimens.
>>288544206
>Space Pirates have triple hemipenes
This is now canon.
Ridley 64 > Ridley Brawl = Ridley Melee > Shitley 4
The hunter will never defeat us with our army of rainbow armor.
>>288544227
enjoy your execution hunterfag
>>288544342
I mean as master Ridley is the only playable character, how can simple graphics improvements make the game any better?
>>288540315
>Complaining about more vision
Get your ass back here, you're permanently assigned to surveillance duty. Congratulations on your promotion and your complementary Ridley coffee mug.
![27_01[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/aae31vi.jpg "27_01[1].jpg")
what's his name /pv/?
>>288544342
>he doesnt main Omega Ridley
It's the perfect mix of science and phazon.
*Incoming emergency High Command transmission, priority 1*
ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAR
>>288544704
Admiral "A Dick a Day" Dane
>>288544828
How much Phazon?
>>288544704
Admiral 'I literally cant stop choking on male reproductive organs' Dane.
>>288544704
It's that filthy human leader who strolled right into our planet, using his own flagship as an umbrella!
Ahhhh, he's so dreamy~
>>288544704
They have names?
>>288544704
Dicks
All
Now
Eat
>>288544954
>How much Phazon?
Go big or go home, Pirate Anon.
https://youtu.be/3IhNucymsq4
>>288544704
Fleet Admiral "Leaves 'Em in Pain" Dane
>>288545167
So, someone at Science Team was making a game in their free time to enlist draftees from other species. Did anything come of that?
What the fuck is up with the dance minigames in the Ridley Prime series? They always seem so out of place.
>>288545068
>You will never be invaded by Admiral Dane again
>you will never hear him shout damn to your face
>you will never watch the acid rain hit his beautiful helmet
>you will never get vaporized by his PED troopers
whyevengoon?
>>288544704
Dumb
As
Nail
Excrement
>>288545278
>Science team
>getting anything done
Pick one
>>288545303
>he doesn't know
Travel the tubes moar
>>288544342
>tfw there's a Ridley 64 fag near me
All ground forces into the dark portal, no questions please!
And no, we have no fucking idea what's on the other side, except that everything that's come out has been a real shitshow.
>>288537502
Why is the Dark Hunter so amazing?
>>288545408
feed-tube me man
>>288545553
Oh man, I gotta try that.
HOLY SHIT GUYS WE JUST CAUGHT THE HUNTER! GET OVER HERE TO PLANET CODE: ALPHA-EPILSON-003 IF YOU WANT A PIECE OF THE ACTION BEFORE WE START MODIFYING HER HOLES WITH TUUUUUUUUUBBBEES.
>>288545558
It looks like the Hunter who we hate, why are we following it again?
>>288545558
>There are two of them now
brb metroidtank
>>288545558
Don't know
maybe the whole being made of SCIENCE and pumping us full of Phazon has something to do with it?
![250px-Ing[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/xmzLlHG.png "250px-Ing[1].png")
>>288545553
COMING TO /ING/ AGAIN ARE YOU? YOU ALL WANNA BE POSSESSED AGAIN?
WHO THE FUCK PRESSED THE PLANET SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON?
>>288545712
>he doesn't know
Pirate Anon, we've been catching those gross X Clones of the Hunter for weeks. We're still cleaning those fucking things up.
>>288545712
I'm not falling for that one again.
I got a 50% ration cut for 10 cycles last time. I hope you're happy.
>>288545712
>>288545747
I would like to inform everyone that this one has been shot.
>fitted for new jetpack this morning
>they still explode for almost no reason
>added additional software for my hud that detects critical heating failure and calculates optimal ramming trajectory
Science team continues to impress
One day, I'm gonna be a real hero and make a difference.
Imagine one day, the Hunter has fucked our shit up and she's about to flee our self-destructing battleship.
And I'll just launch myself at her ship, and stop it!
Man, it would be glorious.
>>288545826
/ing/ and /pg/ are my main tubes, can't seem to leave them
>>288545832
Wasn't me, mate. I was just cleaning the giant fish bowl.
>>288545832
WHY DOES THAT EVEN EXIST!?
>>288545832
fuck me bro I was just trying to extend this tube
I'm going to be the space pirate king and find the space one piece
>>288546041
you're the hero we deserve
>>288546195
>watching Aetherboo shows
plz go
WHO /WAVE/ HERE?
>>288545826
/ING/raits are almost as bad as /GF/uckers
>>288545958
I have never been more confused in all my 7 cloned lives.
The Hunter has tubes? How? How could the being we hate more than anything else contain that which we love more than anything else?
I.. I just don't know anymore.
>>288546380
H I G H T E S T
I
G
H
T
E
S
T
Guys, remember that bounty hunter we hired?
>>288546287
>on a tube that was formed for Aetherboo shows
>>288546380
>nail missile shitting nipples
another fetish thank you
>>288546079
You idiot! That's where we PUT the self destruct button!
>>288546380
THE HUNTER IS DEFEATED
>YFW
>>288546356
>tfw on a raid
>GF Trooper takes cover behind a Zebetite wall
>I just unload my /WAVE/ on him directly through it
Based fucking Science Team.
>>288546380
I bet Mother Brian did this.
>>288546440
she knows their power
she can even traverse them!
which is why we need to eliminate her
she just happens to have better tube centric tech, but our SCIENCE will surly catch up one cycle
>>288546094
Because otherwise some day we would need to blow up the planet and we wouldn't have.
>>288546003
Larry put that to good use. We were patrolling around the comms tower when the Hunter showed up and started scanning all our intertubes. We started tussling for a bit, and I think someone slipped Phazon into Larry's morning coffee, because he seriously went ballistic. He launched himself at her and missed completely, but watching that comms tower explode was pretty righteous.
That's, uh, the reason 4tubes was down last week, by the way.
>>288544342
>Shitley 4
>worst
you fags just can't handle the ridley zero suit
>>288546905
those heels make it completely unrealistic man
and they forgot Master Ridleys mole
>>288547007
>Mole
YOU FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU
CALLED THE SCIENCE POLICE
>>288546905
>tfw High Command deleted the clip of Science Team playing xylophone on Ridley's ribcage while they were rebuilding him
>>288547190
I don't even know why, Commander Ridley watched that thing like ten times and couldn't stop fucking laughing.
I mean, after the first viewing he killed half of Science Team, but he came around.
>>288547190
good thing its built right into him
we can just make another vid when we get his corpse back
high command only cares when hes alive
UNGA BUNGA ROCKSTOP
>you will never remodel Samus' shitholewith tubes
>>288547364
Who the fuck let those backwards Ki-Hunters in here?
how can they jewminoth create this shit and yet we can't?
>>288547426
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE FELLOW PIRATE, WE'RE ABOUT TO START SOON HURRY
>>288545712
>Me and a bro get reassigned from Crateria all the way down to fucking Norfair
>We take a shortcut through Maridia
>Almost through when this fucking thing shows up
>Grabs him and injects him with its young, which mature and consume him within 10 seconds
>Nope the fuck out of there
NEVER
AGAIN
FUCK THAT PLACE
>tfw bought into the claw hype
Fucking useless bullshit
Goddamnit
>>288537502
YOU Fucking Xeno Scum
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you worthless heretic? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Space Marines, and I've led an incomprehensible number of secret raids against the forces of chaos, and I have over 30 million confirmed purgings. I am trained in armored warfare and I'm the top Ultramarine in all the Space Marine Chapters. You are nothing to me but just another heretic. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this universe, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Warp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your powers are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bolter.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Adeptus Mechanicus and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot.
>>288547426
that would just make her more powerful
>>288547507
Maybe if we didnt have to resurrect a certain space dragon every cycle, we would have a lot more time to build giant robots.
>>288547507
They have better tubes than us, that must be the reason. I need to request an appointment with Science Team to research how to construct better tubes.
>>288546640
>GF trooper
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>288547671
sometimes he IS a giant robot
>>288547507
Science team has vapor for brains.
>>288547602
>/gf/ is here
great
DELICIOUS CANDY
>>288543630
why can't the hunter be our boss?
>>288547729
>mfw killed gf trooper
>>288547680
>They have better tubes than us
Yeah, it's true. The build quality on their pipes is amazing.
>>288547583
Oh hey, it's Trayvon.
I knew that fucker back in my High School cycle. Fucker was the laughingstock of the school, apparently he ate the Phazon in science class. Earned him the nickname "phazon-eater" for the rest of the year.
I heard recently he's changed his name to hide his Metroid heritage.
>>288547954
>pipes
EXECUTE THE HERETIC
>>288547954
>pipes
>>288547954
That's not even a tube
That's a miniature square tunnel followed by RAILINGS.
![[sweating intensifies].png](https://i.imgur.com/JgXbCFi.png "[sweating intensifies].png")
>>288547954
Since when the fuck can Metroid crawl?
>>288547861
>Cycle 2015
>toob still hasnt deleted /gf/
Dammit toob manage your site better.
>tfw stationed in Phendrana Drifts on Tallon IV
>cold as fuck
>wilderness is extremely hostile
>paychecks are a shit
>not even at a high enough rank to become invisible or being able to fly
>heard one of my friends stationed in Magmoor just got killed by the hunter
Feels bad man. I just hope she doesn't come to here.
WHO /scienceteam/ HERE?
>Be science team
>stationed on SR388
>Meet up with a field pirate
>guy is a cunt, said i had vapor for brains, but he had something i really wanted to check out.
>He got a hold of a tube of X parasite. says it fell out of the sky after that galactic space station exploded.
>mfw I have a vial of phazon back at the lab.
Ridley is going to be so fucking proud!
Who Trying to Become the Next Harlock here?
I already became and hopeless idealist and left earth. Now I only need some cool face scars and a big spaceship that looks like a spanish galleon and I'm all set.
>>288545832
>>288546079
>>288548435
shits going down
>>288548429
VAPOR BRAINS
has this tube gotten worse since mooter brain left?
>>288548594
Who?
>>288548594
Absolutely.
>>288548429
MAKE BETTER TUBES.
>>288547680
Nah, Luminoth tubes are subpar at best. They just imitated the Chozo's.
I'd like to get Science Team to research Chozo tubes - or hell, ANY of the Chozo's technology for ideas. The trouble is the closest I've gotten to it is the Hunter using it to blow off my scythe arm.
>>288548530
>bikini tube
>>288547190
>Science Team playing xylophone on Ridley's ribcage while they were rebuilding him
They may have vapor for brains when it comes to science, but they're pretty cool dudes when they're not giving us insta-cancer.
>>288546356
>>288546640
>wave pirates
Sorry we jetpack pirates cant hear you purple faggots over our fucking jetpacks!We have fucking jetpacks. let that sink in. Tubes of jet, on our fucking backs, and we pack that shit.
GUYS
GUYS
I WAS RESEARCHING HUMAN HISTORY IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIND A WEAKNESS IN THE HUNTER
I DIDN'T FIND ONE
BUT I DID DISCOVER THAT THEY USED TO HAVE THIS THING CALL "THE INTERNET"
IT.. IT WAS A SERIES OF TUBES THAT STRETCHED ACROSS THEIR HOME PLANET AND CONNECTED EVERYONE TOGETHER
>>288548918
so like toob?
>>288548918
Bullshit
>He's from Andromeda
>>288548813
What are you talking about? We took over their entire planet, TWICE? Don't you remember Zebes? The Chozo Construct "Mother Brain?"
Hey guys, you ever think we should stop using tubes?
I mean the hunter fits right into them.
>>288548918
everyone connected by tubes? While that may have a grain of truth, its hard to separate fact from the storytellers embellishment. Possibly only the most powerful tribes were connected by tube?
>>288549096
DELETE THIS
>>288549096
EXECUTE THE HERETIC
>>288549096
enjoy your execution
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POWER LATRINES
>>288549096
>stop using tubes
>STOP USING TUBES
>STOP
>USING
>TUBES
TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES
>>288549157
EVERYONE
>>288548583
Yeah, well your mother was a Zoomer. Oh, and your father was a Zoomer, too. That makes you a double Zoomer.
>>288548787
Don't tell Ridley, but my group has been secretly reallocating funds for the purpose of crafting armor from the materials our tubes are made from. Test models have been a bit too... cylindrical, but we should have something ready by the time the Hunter becomes active again.
>>288549096
CAPTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS
>>288549086
Yeah and she got to live IN a tube.
I've seen good, loyal, sadistic pirates that have worked for 21 cycles waiting to get that chance.
Hell, Omega Pirate was the last one I remember getting one.
This planet has changed man... It be different.
>>288549096
>stop using tubes
GET OUT KIHUNTER
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Hey SR/v/88
Im from science team, and i have a little leak for you. We arent supposed to share this yet, but i just wanted to let you pirates in on it. Its cool as shit.
Okay, so you know how Metroids are pretty much indestructible, aside from ice.
Well, follow me here.
We load them into guns... and shoot them.
Shoulder mounted Metroid launchers!
We are going to revolutionize hunter hunting!
Daily reminder that Mother Brain did nothing wrong and that Zebes had to go.
>>288549096
By that logic, we'd be better off making a tube that serves no purpose other than to lure the Hunter into a magma pool.
>>288549389
But..
Wouldn't the Metroids just turn around and go after us?
>>288549096
Never in a million years you fucking heretic
>>288549491
>tubes that serve no purpose
Disgusting
>>288549550
COMMANDERRRRRRRRRR
>>288548918
>>288549157
>everyone connected by tubes
Sure, in a metaphorical sense. Everyone is connected by tubes, thus says the great pirate deity Tubeus.
Our tubes connect us to all and we use them to send our good feelings to one another.
Tubeus be praised!
>>288549096
WE MUST PETITION TO DECREASE THE DIAMETER OF TUBES SO AS TO TRAP THE HUNTER
JUST HAVE A TUBE TAPER OFF SLOWLY SO SHE BECOMES STUCK
HELL, WE MIGHT GET PROMOTED FOR THIS!
>>288549096
YOU AREN'T THINKING STRAIGHT BROTHER
DON'T YOU NEED SOME NICE COOL PHAZON
>>288549550
You idiot, we're gonna paint ourselves to look like metroids, they'll never notice the difference!
>>288549096
yeah lets stop using nutrient-gel and carapace cream as well
>>288549550
Nah. We will have that kink worked out in no time. Though its not at the top of the list.
Right now we are trying to figure out a way to keep the launchers from floating away.
>>288549590
But then how will we send Zoomers and Geemers through tubes as scouts?
Anyone ever notice how they're the exact same size as the Hunter when she's turns into a ball?
>Patrolling Crateria
>One part of the patrol gets me eerily close to the wrecked ship where Bob disappeared
>Read like 10 creepytubes about it last night
I swear to mother brain, Bob was standing outside the ship today and he was waving at me. I switched to binoc-vision to verify, and when I did he was right up in my face, which looked seriously messed up. I freaked the fuck out, and when I switched back he was just gone. God, I fucking hate that place.
