You are summoned before the grand council of skeletons to justify your wanton genocide of skele-kind over all your years of playing video games
How do you plead your case /v/?
>>284608135
I wanna marry a skeleton!
I can't justify myself.
I guess I'm boned.
these two niggas gon be trouble
Maybe Ophelia can help me.
thank mr skeltal
I have a hostage inside me, nobody move
I have xray to prove it
Because necromancy is heresy
I summon my own skeleton as a surprise witness.
>>284608135
say I did nothing wrong.
>Its time to reveal my true face
Proceed to rip of my face
>>284608313
>>284608805
>skele is former victim recycled
What now
Tell them the skeletons attacked me first, I acted in self defense.
They'd buy it more becauseI'm half skeleton
play the bone card
I killed more living than skeletons and they weren't real skeletons as they are just in vidya.
>>284609471
There was a helpless skeleton inside every person you killed.
>>284609670
I set them free.
>>284608135
My years of bigoted genocide of skelekind is just my fleshy way of dealing with the fact that I am but a skeleman in a fleshbag's world. I need the council to help me escape and accept who I really am.
>>284608675
>>284608313
two of the funniest things i've ever read on /v/
>>284608630
That just reminds me of the picture of some kid touching a mirror and seeing his reflection as a velociraptor because he's otherkin.
There's nothing worse than a skeleton wanting to be meat. Calcium traitor.
I throw myself at the mercy of the skelecourt. But in my defense
I was super-duper spooped.
Everyone knows that skeletons are naturally predisposed towards violence. They just can't help themselves. Every skeleton I destroyed was already hostile.
Except for that one skelly in divinity 2. But I can't be blamed for that. He did it to himself.
>>284608135
because fuck skeletons, mostly
I swear it was self defense!
Skeleton prosecutor:' I have a witness here who thinks differently. Will mr waiter skeleton step forward?' Please tell us what happened mr waiter skeleton.
Waiter Skeleton: Yes i was just carrying our famous curry and i stumbled and the curry flew out of my hand accidentally hitting the defendant around when suddenly the defendant whipped me, i believe i broke all my bones.
Judge: I have heard enough! I sentence you to life in prison.
>>284610852
Objection. Skeletons do not eat curry.
They attacked me first
I was merely defending myself
s-shut up
what would a skellie know about compassion
>>284608135
you're a big guy
You can only choose one to appeal your case to /v/. Choose wisely.
>>284608675
>>284611235
slippy my nigger, I owe you one
>>284611035
hes not eating it, hes serving it
>>284611035
Skeleton prosecutor: It should not be relevant if skeletons eat curry, do you have proof who should have received the curry, if not please refrain from bothering our witness.
Why would the the Skelecouncil act against me? I come from a long and well-respected line of skeletons.
>>284608675
>>284611235
I provoke Madbones and destroy him in front of the council.
Damn right I murdered millions of skeletons. What's seven more.
>>284611510
>there are skeletons posting on /v/ RIGHT NOW
>>284611235
wisebones
>>284608135
My what?
I don't.
>>284608313
>>284608675
>>284608675
Pfffft
I have diplomatic immunity!
>>284608675
It's actually the other way around.He's your executioner.
>>284608135
You fuckers just kept coming at me with huge ass swords and huge ass bones. What the fuck did you expect me to do, lay down at let myself get shat on?
Morte's fucking cool though, feel me?
>>284611436
No. It is relevant. It is very relevant. I propose that this 'accidental' curry spill was in fact ON PURPOSE, intended only to provoke a reaction.
>>284611235
Sleepy Simon if he's awake. Slippy if he's not.
Also, prosecution. The only times I attacked your kind was out of self defense in Skyrim and Dark Souls. I would like to add that in the former, the individual bones were not damaged, and in the latter your kin would just stand up each time I chilled next to a fire.
Not my fault that you people always attack me first. I was forced to defend myself. The media is blowing this all out of proportion by saying 'ohhh but he's just a poor defenceless skeleton and you're an adventurer, you should know better'. Defenceless my ass, you people honestly spook me and everyone else for that matter, anyone that tells you otherwise is lying in order not to appear racist. This trial has been a farce from the get go, the fact that the Skeleton Justice Warriors even managed to get me into a courtroom tells everyone who really pulls the strings in these lands.
>>284611235
Slippy always
I don't mindbonejobs
>>284611510
Treason.
>>284612627
Skeletons eh? I got one of them.
>>284612121
>"you are found guilty"
>"unlike the laws of the fleshy world, your sentence will not be imprisonment"
>"instead, you are to be...released">"RELEASED FROM YOUR MEATBAG PRISON!"
>"COME, NEW-BORN SKELETON, AND JOIN YOUR BROTHERS">your body bursts open and your skeleton dances out
>>284612904
There is a skeleton inside every one of us, if I'm guilty we're all guilty.
>>284612751
>Not picking Mr Jangles
Serious he is loyal and op
>>284612531
Very well i summon another witness: Skeleton Yorick, You see my witness was just playing a game of ball with his own head when the defendant asssaulted him with his whip AGAIN.
>>284608135
Not guilty
During the trial, I would argue that I never committed murder because they're already dead.
>>284608135
Fuck each and every one of you
Hey guys, don't look at me.
Dracula is the one who made them go nuts. It was self defense.
but I AM a skeleton
Nothing. They're skeletons.
Skeletons are the ultimate bitch enemy of vidya. Just knock them over.
>>284608675
>>284612627
>Normal
>Top hat
>Super Strength/Flight
>Spooky Tomb
>Professor Dracula so that I may have a rock solo face off against him
>Jangles/Sixto/Patches
>Aviators for style
>Mad Science
Now are you judging me or my skeleton? Cause you can have him when im done.
>>284612627
>>284612751
>Normal
>Pickelhaube
>Magnetic Bones
>Super Strength
>Skeleton Cave
>Kelly Goldstein
>Sixto
>Killroy
>Rico
>Diary
>Bring Terry Home
>>284612627
Dirty bones is top tier
>>284608135
Like this.
>Grand Council of Skeletons
*unsheathes lightning katana blessed by the pope*
Looks like I've got a bone to pick!
What games let me play as a skeleton?
>>284608135
But you already are a skeleton.
I plead insanity.
>>284612904
>>284615164
>>284608135
"They attacked me first!"
>>284608135
Self defense. They all attacked me first. I don't know why they have a bone to pick with me.
People say there's a skeleton trapped inside you, but if all we are is a brain then we're the ones trapped inside a meat skeleton.Post the screencap from yesterday
>>284615164
Medievil
>>284611235
Anyone but fucking slippy.
Always makes me test out his basement jacuzzi.
>>284615604
What game?