WELCOME TO NEXT GEN GAMING
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OH WOW
>guide for a QTE
I don't even care about this game, the shitposting threads, the actual arguments about length/price investment
But that is fucking hilarious
I have no words for this.
>>284055447
>tfw real games are dead
you laugh now but there are actual "gamers" who need guides for something as simple as this.
>>284055447
lol what the fuck
>>284055447
>press square when you see square
>press cirlce when you see cirlce
>and finally press triangle when you see triangle
Literally Shakespeare.
>big flashing triangle on screen
>"gee, wonder what i should do... better get my guide"
>>284055447
I always wonder what those "prime strategy guides" even have in them. I mean, besides garbage like this. You can look up collectibles for free on the Internet, what else?
>>284055447
Oh for fuck sake sonyggers
>p223
This is hilarious and sad.
>>284055447
games are kill
>>284055447
Why did you let this happen Kaz!?At least im happy knowing some of the devs fingers will "dissapear"
>>284055447
>tfw was on the original thread
feels good
>>284056283
one page for every QTE
Writing a guide for it must have been the easiest cash ever.
>Press [button] when you see the [button] icon.
Do they think we're fucking 3 year-olds or something?
>>284056192
Progression trees for min/max autists, basically. That shit isn't always available online. The Witcher 2 one helped me to stop restarting every couple of hours because I had fucked something up.
>>284055447
But I need a guide on how to insert the game in my system and start it. This is way too advanced for me.
>>284056192
The same thing with gaming magazines. The information is easier to access and is faster too unless you don't have internet.
That's probably why Nintendo Power died. However I still see my friends having the latest issues of gameinformer.
I liked reading walkthroughs in magazines when I was younger for games I never played
>tfw reading an Eternal Darkness walkthrough in an old Nintendo magazine
>>284056494
>The Witcher 2 one helped me to stop restarting every couple of hours because I had fucked something up.
I've got news for you.You're stupid.
>>284055447
Is The Order the new Cyberdemon?
>manual for QTEs
What the actual fuck is going on
Is this the end
How much is this guide? Please, I need to know.
>>284055447
>>284056704
That's a pretty good tip. I thought I had to some shit like ricochet my shots into his pixel perfect weakpoint.
>>284055447
Is that a guide for a QTE?
>>284056815
http://www.amazon.com/Order-Signature-Strategy-Guide-Bradygames/dp/0744015693/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424448681&sr=8-1&keywords=the+order+1886+strategy+guide
>>284056937
we don't like to call them QTE.
they are actually highly cinematic and interactive cutscenes.
>>284055987
I think failing QTEs are more infuriating than having to repeat a level, or die.
At least when you die or repeat, you're playing the game and not sitting through a fucking QTE again.
>>284055447
I have no words for this.
/v/ as a board turned to complete shit after The Order came out, thanks to the fuckton of shit flinging between Nintendo and Sony. I didn't want to blame The Order for it, but now I have no reason to deny it any longer.
>>284056984
>it's real
ayyyy
>>284056984
>256 pages
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SIX PAGES
>>284056984
>$10 to $20 for a QTE guide.
Are you fucking serious?
>>284057191
FREE MARKET NIGGA
Are you guys realizing just now that most of the people playing this game, and most games, are going to be around 12 - 16?
You really shouldn't be playing games too much past that age. They're not for grown men.
>>284057163
Well yeah, of course it's gonna be fucking huge if the guide holds your hand every time you have to press a button, especially with all these fuckhuge pictures
I mean shit, I know the game is short but still
>>284057058
>implying console war shitposting in general isn't the main cancer killing this board
>>284057273
You know what I played when I was 12-16? Pic related. Same goddman thing.
I know we generally have low expectations of kids, but there's a limit.
>>284056984
>maps
>for tunnel shooter
>>284057408
>Not playing koosh ball with your friends after you eat lunch in the middle school courtyard before you have to go back to class
every thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV-u5tvQC34
>>284055447
This is it, we hit the rock bottom.
>everyone mocking the fact that there is a strategy guide for the order
>not mocking the company responsible for the money grab of making a strat guide for the order
>>284057630
the fuck is that
we played with hacky sacks in middle school
>>284057273
>Game is rated "M" for Mature. Which refuses sale of the game to anyone under 17.
You are pathetically dumb.
>>284057163
That's longer than the game.
I can't even get mad anymore. I'm not feeling anything. No rage, no sadness, no happiness, nothing.
You know things have gotten bad when shit like this does not surprise you in the least.
>>284055447
this can't be real
I refuse to believe it
>>284057879
It's when you kick the ball on the side of you foo-
>look up hacky sack
Whoops.
>they literally couldn't just say "do the QTE, you fucking retard"
whoever made this guide are pure genius. They managed to make a full page out of a QTE
>>284056704
That's actually a pretty alright tip. Thing has so much health that someone playing it blind might start thinking it's some kind of puzzle boss.
The sad thing is manuals and guides were once a staple for physical copies. Do we blame the jews for this too?
>>284056984
>you will spend more time flipping pages than actually playing the game
>>284058079
PRIMA guides, jewing casual gamers since the dawn of time
>>284056663
bro, dont delay. Play that shit
>Trees died for this shit
>>284057925
The majority of games I played under the age of 17 were rated mature, and the same can be said for most teenagers playing video-games.
I'm sorry you were raised in an overly-strict christian fundamentalist background.
>>284055447
This isn't your ordinary casual, this is
EXTREME CASUAL
>>284057273
What 12 - 16 year old would need a guide for this? It'd be like having a guide to tell you which on screen button is PLAY when you put in a movie.
one step closer to Idiocracy
>>284056984
>256 pages
>>284055447
did anyone else notice the fact that the QTEs are hard-coded and never change? The guide KNOWS when you press triangle and when you press square
>non-random QTEs
a shit
video games?
>>284055447
This took five years.
>>284057058
>It's all Nintendo shitting on Sony, those damn nintenyearolds!
Yes goyim, only one platform at a time.
>>284058986
>5 years in 256 pages
>>284057273
I was bossing up niggas in WC2 at 14.
Git gud bitch ass nigga
>>284058923
Well The order hardly qualifies as a game so you may be onto something.
>>284057925
Nigga plz.. How do you think COD is selling all those millions.
KIDS
>>284055447
I'm so sorry for the editors who were forced to go through this. Making a stratety guide of such a shallow game must have been a nightmare. Just because some douchebags decided "let's make one and milk the faggots".
>>284059265
No, I'm pretty sure most of the people buying and playing COD is young 20 somethings.
>>284057058
I'm just getting tired of seeing 10 million Order threads in the fucking catalog now, it's just a circlejerk over the same shit at this point
It was a good run friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwLl5nY5WPI
>>284059360
You'd be sorely disappointed. every lobby I join almost has at least half the roster filled with squeakers.
>>284056984
my fucking Windwaker guide that i bought when i was 12 years old has 190 pages and covers every little secret the game has to offer
how the fuck do you squeeze in 256 pages for a game that consists of 1 hour gameplay, 1 hours QTE and 3 hours of cutscenes
>>284055447
5 years for that.
is it possible this gen will sink any deeper?
>>284055447
To defeat the werewolf, QTE at it till it dies.
>>284060006
Someone needs to make an image of this.
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
FIVE YEARS
>FIVE YEARS
>>284056273
I KNOW THAT DICK
Western gaming is a joke.
>>284060685
So's modern Japanese gaming.
>>284060685
>Western console gaming is a joke.
fixed you're error
>>284060685
>gaming is a joke
fixed
>>284059423
Here's an idea. Make a thread about video games. If all the people complaining about threads they don't like, in threads they don't like, actually want to discuss video games, this shouldn't be too hard.
>>284055447
Is it really like this? No fucking way.
It is actually a railpresser?
>>284060731
Shut up, Fish.
>>284056984
>no fake reviews yet
What the fuck is wrong with you /v/?
>>284060731
>>284060816
>>284061595
>>284061115
>nuh-uh both sides good and bad!
Is it really hard to accept that only western games suck ass?
You have no right to complain if you buy AAA garbage.
>>284061868
Yeah, because it's untrue. Japanese gaming by and large is shit too.
>>284061909
>Buy GTA V
Somehow that gives me no right to complain about The Order 1886.
>>284061996
Not really. Almost every single good game in the past couple of years has been japanese.
>>284061996
Maybe you just don't like video games.
>>284055447
THE RAW POWER OF THE PS4....... AMAZING......
>>284056984
>a guide for movie
Fucking lel.
>>284062189
It's the future you chose, fool.I'm going to buy the pc version
This is the new "wait a minute, that card."
I mean the game is already holding your hand the entire way. There is no possible reason you need a guide to hold your other hand. Why the fuck don't you just pay someone to play the game for you?
Jesus Christ fuck this gay earth.
>>284055447
I really want to know how many of those things they have actually sold, my god if people are having trouble with qte they need a 200 page guide god help them and god help the rest of us as these twonks will be running this world one day.
>>284057630
I still have my kooshball. The colors are all dark and worn out tho. I love that thing.
>>284060151
So it's like an hour per year worked on?
>still more successful than Bayonetta 2
Surprised the new consoles don't have "PRESS THE POWER BUTTON TO TURN ON CONSOLE" in big letters painted at the front.
>>284062537
>This is the new "wait a minute, that card."
THAT'S MY JOKE! I'LL KILL YOU!
>>284056192
Strategy guides are relics of another time, when the internet wasn't as widespread. Nowadays, I think they get by with nice art or worldbuilding or some crap; it's been a while since I last bought a guide.
>>284061789
What the fuck is wrong with that qt?
>>284063315
Filename anon.
>>284063315
She doesn't have a bf yet and feels alone.
>>284063421
Oh, now I get it.
>>284062920
Have you even seen the manuals?
>>284055447
>>284063315
>you will never have a qt gf with cerebral palsy
>>284061789
I thought women were dumb.
I gave them high credit again, they're fucking retarded.
>>284056704
> Mfw cyberdemons errywhere in fucking Mayan Mishap.
>>284063786
I hear you brother.
>>284061789
>She is way better than me at making pancakes
I really should learn how to cook
>>284063883
is that Stephen Graham?
>>284064079
No it is Al Capone you dickwad.
>>284056891
>>284058179
>That image was always considered retarded and a joke
>But now its ok
Fuck off retards thats the same shit as OP The Blunder: 2015
If you faggots would even read the guide you'd see the sequence instead just pressing buttons it requires using the right stick to move the reticle over certain parts before the QTE response appears.
>>284064246
It's ok by comparison.
Before there were guides for 'how to pass a QTE' it was a joke. Now it seems perfectly reasonable and sensible by comparison.
>>284064425
The points you have to move the cursor to are highlighted during the sequence. How much do you want to bet they don't walk the player through a tutorial for that shit at the start of the game?
>>284055447
I'm mad. I'm actually fucking mad. please tell me this is a joke. please tell me it'll be alright. please tell me there's hope for the future. please tell me this is just a bad era of gaming. please find the hero
>>284055447
>>284056984
What is this world coming to
>>284055447
>233+ pages for a literal QTE corridor shooter
>2 hours of gameplay
>This is the game Sonyponies and NeoGAF are auto-fellating themselves over
>This shit will still sell because the PS4 has no games and Sonyponies are incredible plebs
THE SIGNS OF A FALLING INDUSTRY ARE UPON US.
>>284066624
Wait until we see how well the guide sells. If it sells well, that's a sign of a flourishing industry.
I mean, the game and the guide are definitely a sign of an industry that doesn't give half a shit about the hobby, but so far the industry is doing just fine as far as I can tell.
>>284055447
>someone
>somewhere
>actually
>though
>someone
>would
>need
>a
>manual
>telling them
>exactly
>what
>to
>press
>and
>how
This is a custom-made Order 1886 controller
>>284067920
>gauges and gears and shit and brass and shit
>am i victorian steampunk now mom
>>284067920
why
>>284067920
And here's the original
>>284068282
Too many buttons
>>284067920
Thumbnail looks like goatse
>>284067920
>it's not even antiqued
>>284055447
>a tree or 5 died making this guide book
>>284068282
that's actually the second revision of the Bluetooth remote control you philistine
>>284062193
They have put out lots of garbage in the last few years and just like Western casuals they have eaten it up. If you don't see the truth in this you are truly a weeaboo.Which is perfectly alright.
>>284058637Who would drink water, doesn't water come from a toilet?
>>284063602
I see it. Could use some titles or something so it stands out.
>>284057058
We had SVU
We had girlgames.
We hadJohn Flynt posting John Flynt hate threads.
If anything, these last few weeks have been glorious.
>>284058034
yee
>>284056476
I don't know man, it looks like they were scraping the bottom of the barrel coming up with shit to put in. Look at how spaced out the images are: they probably had to hit a certain number of pages. That looks like the strategy guide equivalent of increasing the font size of your punctuation marks back when you wrote essays in school.
>>284063664
>>284068237
Who's that girl?
I want to make fun of her hair and the stupid piercings.
>>284055960
It's not too late to shoot up a shitty game devs office for retribution
>>284055447
MFW I BOUGHT THE ORDER
MFW THERE IS NOTHING /v/ CAN DO ABOUT IT
MFW I RELISH IN THE GLORY THAT IS THE ORDER: 1886
TOP FEELS!
>>284070419
>buzzwords
>anime girl reaction image
>allcaps
Terrible stuff anon, see me after class
>press triangle when you see triangle
NO WAY
>>284070419
It's not your fault anon.
>>284070239
it's this boy's sister
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1354490/Boy-11-racks-1-000-mothers-debit-card-playing-XBox-online.html
>>284070419
This guy knows what's up
I don't see the problem. Every guide that has ever been written explains things that anyone should be able to do on their own, this isn't something new or unique here. Comes off more as everyone wanting to hate anything associated with this game and piling on at every opportunity.
That's next fucking level holy shit.
I am honestly glad to have lived to see this day.
>>284055447
So who exactly is this guide targeting? What kind of people?
>mfw
>>284056984
Almost 3 pages for every minute of gameplay, wow.
>>284056984
>yfw reading the guide will take you longer than actually playing the game
>>284064246
>>284056704
It was never a joke.
Cyberdemon had so much health that people thought there was some trick to defeating it. The tip has always been relevant.
>>284056192
The Majora's Mask 3D Prima Guide is 300+ pages and comes with a code with a downloadable version
and it looks gorgeous, the symbols on the cover are embed and the side pages are gold.
>>284071498
it takes you 5 hours to read a guide? are you like 3 years old?
>>284060685
Japs make a fuckload of terrible games too. The problem is that no matter how bad a japanese game is, there will always be a group of shit eating weaboos to praise it.
Neptunia is the perfect example of this. Same thing goes for all those shit weeb games on steam that people buy simply because "hurr its animey"
>>284060685
moving your hips that slow. toppest of keks.
>>284071998
This. I guarantee that if all those anime games didn't have cute girls, hardly anyone would take a second look at them.
>>284061789
Thankyou for posting this, it reminded me that i was going to make pancakes today.
