I think I may actually be in love with Marie from Splatoon. She is the only thing that occupys my thoughts from morning till night everyday. I love her because 1. She is a bit of a narcissist like me, meaning I wouldn't have to hear her complain about how fat she is or some s***. 2. She would not be like other girls where she would just want to go shopping or some unnecessary thing, she seems like she would play some vidya with you and laugh when you lose. and 3. Her soft body would feel good to cuddle with after a long day. I think about how our first dates would go, and then when the time comes for her to look at my dick, she would laugh at how small it is but still give a nice BJ. I would never have sex with her as it would probably kill her, but we would probably adopt a child. She would be a pretty good mom too, keeping kids disciplined and under control. We would grow old together and die together, and live happy. I can't wait for the VR age to come so I can program a virtual Marie and live out these fantasys. Maybe we would have some fights but since we are both mature we would get over it quickly. Sometimes I even have dreams of these fantasys, or other things like how our honeymoon would go. Oh Marie, I wish you were real, you would complete me...
>>320907936
Corrin is literally the worst possible inclusion. He's like a caricature. A fucking joke. Not even in my most depressing pessimisms or darkest nightmares could I have imagined something like Corrin happening. Before yesterday I shat on so many people's favorite characters. Today I would give anything to have even my least favorite of those instead.
I expected the worst, expected to walk away angsty and disappointed, and it was STILL much, much worse than my expectations. I didn't think there could be a DLC character I wouldn't get, because I love Smash and want to support more content. But Sakurai found a way. He reached down into the most putrid cesspool and pulled out a character so disgusting that I would rebuke my favorite series for it. Please for the love of God Nintendo, don't let this age-androgynous demon anywhere near Smash again.
>>320907936
why would sex kill her?
>>320907936
>>320908141
this juxtapositioning is pretty great, though
kek'd
>>320908141
I agree
Fuck this bitch. I don't know why I keep joining her for Splatfest when she keeps losing.
>>320909806
I always join her team. Even though we always lose, it warms my heart knowing that I supported Marie.
>>320909806
I wish there was some kind of punishment for her losing. Some kind of sexy punishment, like Ultimate Surrender, where Callie could do whatever she wanted with Marie.
Sucks to be you becauseCallie is better in bed. The girl's an ambitious sex machine.
>>320911368
...Do you have any more?
>>320909806
I voted for Marie for the first time this splatfest just for a change. Huge mistake. Sorry Callie
>>320907936
>I would never have sex with her as it would probably kill her
>>320907936
