>be 20
>have an autistic 17 year old neighbor
>one day his dad shows up at my house and begs me to go to his sons bday party
>i go and its shit
>5-6 autists there acting like 10 year olds
>their playing smash and i #rekt them
>fast forward to Oct. 3
>i get smash
>autistic neighbor knocks on my door
>"Hyuk heya bro ur da chosen one to try out my *snort* new game!"
>i don't want to be rude so i invite him in and he shows me his game he made on a flashdrive
>made off Mugen and is a shitty fighting game
>roster is Dark Magician girl, Mario, Ryu, Blanka, Meta Knight and more
>It's pure ass and almost everything is ripped off of Smash bros and he smells like a whales asshole
>"so *snort* did ya get the smashin time game?"
>I tell him yeah and he asks to see it
>he snatches it out of my hand and laid on my bed and played for 2 hours
>2 hours
>he was playing so aggressively with the circle pad that i was scared it'd pop off
>the entire time he's mumbling to himself about tier lists
>i really want him to leave but i don't want to be an asshole
>I keep on making hints that i have to go
>he ignores all of them so i pretend i have a call and step outside
>i tell him my mom invited me to dinner and i have to go
>he hands me my now smelly 3DS back and says "*snort* ha ok thanks bro see you some other time chosen one!"
>yesterday
>I come back from getting the mail and he's standing in front of my door
>"so i was wondering man, can i borrow *snort* your 3DS for a week?"
>comethefuckon.jpg
>"eventhub chose me to assist them in creating a tier list for it"
>i can smell his lies
>I feel so bad for him and I can't just say no to an autistic kid
>I reluctantly say yes and i tell him only for a week
>Driving to work today and saw him in a schoolbus window playing it
why /v/ why
wow
>>267926907
because you're a fucking pussy.
>"Hyuk heya bro ur da chosen one to try out my *snort* new game!"
>>267926907
>implying giving games to the less fortunate is something to feel bad about
>he was even playing it too
Don't feel too good about yourself though, sounds like an abhorrent human being u ritually sacrificed your vidya to appease. You did ok son. Just..ok.
>>267926907
I feel ya, op.
Im a giant ass hole too, but there is something about mentally handicapped kids and old people that makes me lose my fucking nerve.
>>267926907
You beta little cunt
whom are you quoting
>>267929189
The autist talking
>>267926907
That's hilarious. I can't feel bad for someone this stupid, sorry anon
>enabler
>>267929685
Underrated post
>>267926907
None of this actually happened.
>borrowing shit to people you barely know.
Really?
>>267929968
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>267926907
You're a nice guy OP, I'd have done the same.
>>267928264
If its obvious his genetics are fucked, why would you continue converse with them? Never got why folk pity the gimped.
>>267929968
If i could prove to you that it's real I would. I don't know if he has any social media so I can't get a pic of him.
But man I swear on all my vidya that all this shit happened
Obviously you are the real autistic one OP. Or more likely, you a beta bitch and he's an alpha
>years ago
>let an acquaintance borrow a game
>he gives it back
>it's missing a disk (it had two of them) and the case is broken
>"uh yeah, someone stole all my games but this was here"
Moral of the story: don't lend shit to shady people.
That autist sounds like he likes you. I would've lent him my 3DS, too. At least I know any damages wouldn't have been out of ill will.
>>267930610
>why would you have sympathy for someone less fortunate than yourself
I don't know, human decency? This place is too full of ford driver chads.
>implying autists don't make the best friends
You do realize that the best people on /v/ are somewhere on the spectrum, right?
Just spend some time with him. Play some vidya, and slowly he'll start to pick up your mannerisms and become more of a functional human being. If he's spending his time with other autists, how the fuck do you expect him to learn how to act like an adult?
Are the mods gonna do-it-for-free this ebin thread or is it here to stay?
I love shit like this.
you are the kind of guy that will gladly to become doormat and will snap when people push you over the line
>>267931018
At the party he was a full functioning autist but the more I run in to him or he knocks on my door to tell me dumb shit, the more he's acting like an 11 year old instead of a 10 year old
plot twist, op is the autist and he posting itt with his 3ds
>>267931270
>>267931270
#whoa
>>267926907
>chosen one
Stream where faggot?
OP here
I just remembered that he has this huge fascination with Kyogre, like he's IN LOVE with it.
Whenever he talks about Pokemon he only talks about how much he wants Mewtwo in Smash and how Kyogre is the stronkest pogeyman of all time
>>267930961
>That autist sounds like he likes you.
this
if an autist like you, he is gonna stay loyal and fucking do anything for you mang
I know better than to trust anyone with my vidya, especially not children.
>>267931018
>backfires
>anon becomes autistic
>>267926907
Just because he's is autistic doesn't mean you have to give him your fucking stuff. Christ, Op, get it together man.
>Hey want to come to my kids party?
>Cant, already going out tonight
>Hey can I come in?
>Sorry man, I've got a lot of work to do
>Hey can I borrow your 3DS for a week?
>No sorry, I'm playing it
lmao beta as fuck hahaha
Why can't you just say no? How is it so hard, my brother is exactly like that and he's constantly in situations like yours (assuming it ever even happened). Like he can't just say no and hang up if a salesman calls, if someone nigger comes give a presentation about starving kids in africa he won't just say no and close the door, if a retard wants to come in and play a video game he probably wouldn't be able to say no either. I'm really not trying to sound edgy at all but sometimes being an asshole just a little makes life a lot easier
>>267926907
> getting bullied by an autist
OP, really?
>>267926907
did you atleast fuck him?
>>267926907
Dumb frogposter.
Liked and subscribed :^)
>>267929974
>borrowing anything to anyone
ftfy
>>267931018
>implying them hanging out without wont just make them more autistic
>>267926907
Someday someone's going to rape you in the ass and you're gonna take it with full remorse like the beta bitch you are.
Hire him a prostitute, I'm sure he'll become normal if his penis has been inside a vagina
>>267931194
Maybe it's because he's becoming more comfortable around you. He's lowering his guard and acting like himself.
Don't abandon him, anon. You're obviously important to him and perhaps you're his only chance at a semi-normal life.
>>267931816
/v/ IS NOT A BLOG!!!
>>267926907
>Still living with your parents
I pity you for the poor choices you made, but still I laugh at your misfortune.
>OP being alpha'd by a literal autistic kid
Holy fucking shit.
>>267931997
At the party some kid said something about nipples and the autist said "I don't understand what's the big deal with girls and *snort* their nipples? Does it feel good?"
>>267931452
Thanks OP. Time to find another favorite legendary
>>267930645
Why would I go to /b/ when I'm already in /b2.0/?
>>267932114
I don't live with them.
My parents live 15-20 min away.
I said that my mom invited me to go to dinner with her, not that my mom wants to go to dinner and I had to go like a manchild
>>267932114
>I tell him my mom invited me for dinner and I have to go
I pity you for your poor reading skills.
>>267931018
>autist spectrum
no such thing
there are autists, these ultra shut-ins who cannot tie their own shoelaces, but can play the piano like a mofo or know what day of the week the 21st April 1523 was
and there are antisocial little shits, who have the aspergers (made-up disease) and use it as an excuse to act like little shits
>autist bullying OP into giving him his 3ds
How funny
>>267932114
>reading comprehension
>>267932114
>that reading comprehension
i pity you for being a dumb fuck
>>267932114
I pity the fact that you can't even read properly.
>>267932114
>le reading comprehension faec xD
>>267932114
>I JUST moved out of the house at the ripe age of 28! Time to make fun of manchildren on /v/, haha!
I quote you.
>>267932045
he wants the D
>>267932114
it just wouldn't be a thread without the guy who can't into reading comprehension
>>267932390
>bullying
That autist could probably kill everyone in this thread with his super human strength
>yfw this black girl is on the spectrum
>in high school
>some friend want to play some games in his psp
>he saw me playing mgs in my psp
>anon, can you borrow your memory stick for pass your games in my psp
>sure, no problem
>next day my other friend told me that guy goet to live in other state
>mfw
>>267926907
I'm confused. Did he "make" a fighting game using mugen on the 3ds? Did he actually make mugen playable on the 3ds
Just give him the fucking thing, you immature child. You're too old to be playing on a handheld anyway.
>>267932595
>>yfw this black girl is on the spectrum
shame, the only thing she should be on right now is my dick
>itt: things that never happened
>>267932642
Hi quentin, post one of your comics please
>tfw my cousin owes me over $20,000 in loans over the past 3 years
>too beta to stop lending to him
>>267932618
No he made it on the PC.
>>267932595
he told me this one story about how in 7th grade a kid was bullying him so he "little mac uppercutted him and bit his neck until he had to go to the emergency room"
>>267932595
>girl
>>267932376
Geez dude, you're totally right.
You should write a thesis on that subject and get your PhD. Clearly you've done your research and are quite knowledgeable.
>>267932737
>20 fucking thousand dollars
you gotta be fucking kidding me man
just say you ran out of money
>>267932784
You can tell this guy "has" assburgers
>>267932737
>tfw I spend 1k a month donating to twitch streamers (male and female)
>too beta to stop
>>267932642
Lel only childrens pley the vidya gaems amirite?
>>267926907
that 3DS isn't coming back intact, OP mark my words.
RIP, 3DS.
>>267932114
lmao retard
>>267932885
You should actually kill yourself if you really do that though.
>>267932737
>>267932885
>tfw I donate 50k a year to charity
>too beta to stop donating
>>267931194
He's growing, OP. Foster him, nurture him. Allow him to emulate you like an AI that is growing to full sentience/sapience.
Make him in your image. You have the chance to become a God, OP.
>going to a stranger's birthday party in the first place
Who the fuck would even do that?
>>267932885
>donating to twitch streamers
Why would anyone ever do this?
>>267933067
>make an autist emulate an autist
How would that be good for the kid?
>>267933095
I was under the impression normalfags go to stranger parties all the time to make new facebook friends and fuck
>>267931194
Take a shower with him and show him how to properly clean himself.
>>267933029
How much do you make a year?
>>267933095
I saw them around and they looked friendly enough, I brought my knife with me in case of anything.
>>267932784
>implying I don't have a PhD already
top kek
every doctor knows that roughly 80% of mental illnesses are made up to sell pills to stupid parents and teenagers. Heck, some pharmaceutical companies pay us to diagnose kids with ADHD, assburgers or whatever flavor of the month bullshit, so they (and we) can make mad dosh off of idiots
deal with it, you're not a special snowflake, just a chump
>i don't want to be rude so i invite him in and he shows me his game he made on a flashdrive
your fault autistic faggotron
>>267933192
OP is obviously a higher tier of autism, anything that allows the kid to move further up the spectrum is good for him.
Speaking of, is the 3DS XL or the new 3DS better for playing MonHun?
Op is clearly best friends with this autist as of recently, feels ashamed of it and so has constructed this version of events to make himself feel better.
Real autists are not different than potatoes tard: if you're kind to them they will screw you; worst than niggers. Say goodbye to your 3ds op.
>>267933267
>>267933267
And my Dad works at SonyTendo and gave me the latest unreleased verision of Super WiiStation Smash Siblings V. WHO'S THE CHUMP NOW?
>>267932376
>Mfw in primary school.
>Kept to myself and played super mario land when bored.
>Not very sociable with family either, 8yo basement dweller.
>Get taken to hospital for some reason.
>Doctor tells me I have aspergers syndrome.
>"What"
>Apparently it's because I'm socially inept.
>Don't really give two shits what he says.
>Go to secondary school.
>Make friends in first week.
>10 years later and they're still bro's.
>The doctor was wrong.
Aspergers may be a real thing, but it's slapped on so many kids just for not wanting to hang around people they didn't like too often.
>>267932737
>>267932885
>>267933029
>tfw I let my wife fuck my best friend every week
>I punch the walls in my basement every time they do to relieve the stress
>too beta to stop them
It hurts, /v/.
>>267933267
Is this true?
Wow.
Just wow.
I hope he breaks it you fucking moron.
>>267933240
about $10,000
had to take a third mortgage last week...
>>267926907
Stop being a pussy and tell him no.
>>267933379
Nah man, we've only spoke 4-5 times. I haven't seen him since I lent him the 3DS
>>267933267
So it's just like YouTube networks, WOAH
>>267933460
PFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAkill yourself
>>267932705
kek
>>267932765
/gif/ pls go
>>267933460
OP here, I wouldn't go that far man. Nobody except me touches my girlfriend. Step it up man, take control of your wife
>>267933465
I doubt he's a doctor or anything, but what he said does happen. Not all the time though
>>267933460
b8 or complete fucking omega
I literally go muslim mode on my relationships
>>267929974
>>267931967
>borrowing
>to
>>267933460
>>267933029
>>267932885
>>267932737
All of you "people", kill yourselves, right now. Even if you were just trolling, do it. Off yourself. NOW.
>>267933603
>take control
>not just video them having sexand get a divorce
>can I borrow your 3ds
no.
When did saying no become such a dick move.
If I can say that to my closest of friends I can certainly say it too a autistic semi acquaintance.
>>267933460
Kick the shit out of him, divorce your whore of a wife and don't give her any more attention, it's pretty clear she's pathetic and desperate for it.
>>267933727
ebiiiin
I hope OP enjoys a broken 3ds with bite marks
>>267933857
Look what you made me do
OP, I think its time for you to buy the new 3DS
>>267926907
>talking to people
That's where you went wrong.
>>267933460
Anthony Burch get off vee.
>>267934025
>>267933460
Get a gun anon.
You know what to do with it.
>being so beta that you can't set limits and tell the autist to stop coming to your place
>being so mentally weak like to let yourself get guilt tripped by his father, as if he'd would pay for his son's damages when he breaks your 3DS or your games
>using /v/ as your blog
Grow some fucking balls already.
>>267926907
>>267932737
>>267932885
>>267933029
>>267933460
It's not too late to buy the helium you guys.
>>267934025
OH FUCK, PEPE LOST IT
im getting the fuck outta here
>>267926907
You ain't got balls, faggot. Walk on home, boy.
>>267933095
You should get to know your neighbors eventually.
Also, I'm sorry you don't get invited to parties like the other kids...
>>267933727
scruffy seconds this post
especialy that wife one. jesus.
>>267926907
>>267929974
Has nothing to do with the greentext, but here comes my borrowing tip No. uno:
If somebody borrows something from you, get your phone and take a picture of him holding the item right next to his face. You will never forget what shit you are missing and who has it.
>>267933450
Like when I faked asthma to get out of sport.
>>267933450
Aspergers ain't a real thing, that's why it isn't considered a disorder anymore.
>>267933748
If anything, they're a dick for asking.
>>267932784
Well he's right about aspergers. Officially not a real disease anymore.
>>267934562
B-but what am I going to blame >tfw no gf on?
>my little bros are 10 year olds and live in another city
>teach them the value of belongings, all those things
>give my old PS2 to them, it's still as good as before
>give them many PS3 games
>let them borrow my 3DS and PSP
>they all come back without a scratch
man, I love my brothers
>>267926907
Suck his dick, my dude.
>>267934025
It's amazing how far we've come with Pepe.
Pepe is sad.
Feelsfag is sad.
They become sad together.
They put guns to their heads.
Now Pepe puts the gun to feelsfag's head.
And then Pepe just killed a man.
And see this kind of progression over a series of threads is way funnier than people making dedicated threads to OC.
>borrow Fire Emblem for the GBA from a friend
>finish it, set it on a desk in my room
>not there the next day
>look fucking everywhere, can't find it
>never give it back to him
P-please forgive me
>>267934725
>pepe is becoming happier again
It's the light at the end of the tunnel.
>mfw reading this thread is what reminds me why I don't bother to try to keep friends anymore
>>267934679
Obama.
>>267926907
Stop being beta and just say no.
>>267933460
dude, really take the control now
>>267933460
This is my fetish. Please tell us your tale!
>>267933460
>>267934725
MAMA, JUST KILLED A MAN
>>267934920
Dude. Thats the Bait of Babylon obviously not Unlimited Bait Works
>>267926907
I work at a clinic that is mainly for autistic kids. I would say that the clinic is pretty small, so there is a lot of free time to do anything. I work at the front desk, and just play my 3ds to pass some time.
There is this autistic kid that I think is around 14-15 who always brings his 3ds in, while waiting in the front office for his mom (her mom is lives far away or something, so she's always late).
Anyways, I was playing Smash 4 and noticed that the autistic kid also had it. So, while waiting for his mom, I was playing Smash 4 with him.
it was a lot of fun, he is a nice kid.After playing it with him, he got extremely obsessive with it. Now it's getting annoying.
>>267933460
>>267934860
Keep telling yourself that faggot.
>let friend borrow Vita
>buy FFX and a memory card
>he breaks the 50p charger wire
>beat him up
No body fucks with Sony while I'm around!
We are Playstation Nation!
>>267935021
A bait within a bait
>>267935021
>being this new
Congratulations, you got baited by meta bait.
>>267933460
I also like to fuck other guys wives, tell your friend hi from me.
>>267934857
Smug Pepe is my favorite recent meme.
>>267935139
God damn it
>>267929974
the word you're looking for is lending, you fucking retard
>>267933460
>tfw I just hooked up with a chick a few days ago
>she had a boyfriend
Am I garbage?
>>267935479
Calm down mr English teacher.
>>267926907
>roster is Dark Magician girl, Mario, Ryu, Blanka, Meta Knight and more
lol
>>267935636
nah, it's that guys fault for not being able to pleasure his woman.
>>267935734
What's so funny?
>>267935636
Did you find out before or after boning the cunt?
>>267935804
Epic
>>267935636
>she had a bf
>had
who giev a fuck
>>267935051
Why do you feel the need to shitpost?
You have to be rude with spergs, "letting them off easy" never works because they simply cannot pick up on the subtle social cues that convey the message of "I don't really want to be around you but I also don't want to hurt your feelings or make a fool out of you, so this is your chance to fuck off on your own and keep your dignity intact."
>>267926907
Because you're a softie. You will never see it again, if you do it will be destroyed
>>267935636
>>267935804
Just like in muh doujins.
>>267932114
DELETE THIS
>>267930975
>ford driver chads
You mean edgy 12 year olds
>the entire time he's mumbling to himself about tier lists
Why do I feel like this is just another anti-tourneyfag bait thread that keeps this board in a perpetual state of shitposting?
>>267935804
>Blaming the man
Go back to Tumblr you cuck
>>267932376
You can actually have autism and be a little shit that uses your condition as an excuse to be a shieating man child. See Chris chan
>>267935636
You mean you fucked her behind her BF's back?
Yep, you'refarther than I will ever get with a woman
>>267932114
Korean here. Western idea of "moving" out is laughable in most case. This is why so many people are fat, poor, malnourished/unhealthy, angry, lonely, and unpleasant in general. They possibly go to desperate measures as well. The idea of togetherness and banding together is non-existent. There is your freedom and independence.
Why do American families hate each other? The good ones are those who start business together, then you can learn how to earn money and move out.
>>267932376
2/10
>>267935683
You're a dumbass
>>267937536
>Korean
go drink your shit wine, you swine
>>267934562
>That's what it's classified under autism now
Fixed
>>267937536
Spoilers:It's a racket for le hand-washing shekel meister to make more money off unnecessary real estate and housing loans and keep people safely in debt. Doesn't hurt to weaken family bonds either. Atavistic morality is for evil bad people after all.
>You need your own place kid! You don't want to me a manchild who never gets laid, do you? That's what I thought. Now sign the papers here...
>>267935636
Not as much as the chick.
>>267937980
buttmad self-diagnosed assburger detected
>>267936838
Real, non-buzzword autists mumble and repeat stuff to themselves all the time. I knew one long time ago, and he had a math degree and could play Bach perfectly by the age of fifteen. But all he would do is mumble about cars and recite car maker/model names over and over again. He also memorized all the basic parts there are to a car by age twelve.
Please stop playing the victim
>>267938484
There is literally nothing wrong with self-diagnosing yourself.
>>267938484
Actually I was diagnosed by a doctor, and yet I don't act like a autist and shit post on /v/ while I sit in my house and jerk it all day.
>>267938615
Are you serious?
>>267938859
;^)
>>267926907
dumb frogposter
>>267926907
dumb frogposter
>>267939192
>>267939214
How did you doublepost that fast?
>>267939192
>>267939214
How did you doublepost that fast?
>mfw autistic neighbor seems like a perfect candidate to browse /v/ and is probably in this thread right now
Watch out, OP. he's gonna see all the mean things you said about him, and come over there and strangle you.
>>267939365
>>267939506
>1 minute separation
HAH, noobs I swear.
>>267939192
>>267939214
>>267939365
>>267939506
How dumb you doublefrog that post fast?
>>I reluctantly say yes and i tell him only for a week
You'll never see your 3ds or the game ever again in one piece.
Prepare yourself, faggot.
>>267939626
It only takes one smartphone/wifi device and computer to do this. Just take disconnect the wifi from the device. Happy samefagging, guys
