If you had to be an Elder Scrolls race, which one would you be?
Argonian hands down
>breathe underwater
>can't get sick
>sexy lizard man
Literally perfect
>argonians and khajit don't share furry shit kill-it-with-fire tier, worse than all others
>Any race being good except nord and orc
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS
>>265797741
Nice picture assclown where'd ya get it the dollar store
>>265797741
MILKDRINKER
>>265797314
Dunmer life son, we stronk
>>265797535
Why is /v/ so gay for lizards and dragons?
Wood Elf.
Have fun trying to hit me while i sprint backwards and shoot you with paralyzing arrows.
>>265797835
GO CAST YOUR FANCY MAGIC SOME PLACE ELSE
>>265797741
>thumbnail
>>265797625
>Orc being anything other than nigger kill-it-with-fire tier, worse than all others
>>265797930
>magic
>implying I use that garbage
>>265797741
BROTHER
>nord master race, been playing Nord since Morrowind
>>265797869
Cuz dragon dildos
>>265797939
NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE
>>265798061
BROTHER
>>265797314
Which race has the biggest cocks to fuck women with? Probably the Orcs. Going with Orc.
>>265797625
>I judge races on how they look physically
This isn't the universe for you pleb
>>265797869
Who wouldn't?.
DAILY REMINDER:
THAT IF YOU DONT SUPPORT THE EMPIRE AND PLAY AS AN IMPERIAL YOU ARE A HUGE FAGGOT
>>265798171
The Mer, actually
>>265798171
For dicks
Orc > Argonian > Nord > Redguard > Imperial > Khajiit >>>>>>>>> all mer
>>265797314
khajiit
>cat person
>lots of flexibility
>can give myself blowjobs
because I know no one else will.
>>265798364
I'll give you a blowjob anon
>>265798353
Orcs are Mer though...
>>265798447
All other mer, my bad.
>>265797753
>>265797948
>not playing an orc barbarian
It's like you don't realize how hilariously overpowered Berserker Rage is.
>>265798353
Argonians probably have two dicks because they're lizards
Nord? Have to hang out with frosty racists.
Orc? Hope you're ready to fist fight for lunch.
Argonian? Slavery.
Kahjiit? Accused of being a thief. Then slavery.
Bosmer? Short and annoying.
Dunmer? Prolly gonna get stabbed by morag salad tongs
Altmer? Everyone thinks you're a racist, and you're not allowed back in summerset isle because you've been tainted by the outside world.
Breton? Gonna get punched by drunk nords.
Imperial? Seat of power, not really any major discrimination for or against.
Everyone loves redguards.
Imma go redguard.
>>265798364
>can give myself blowjobs
With a barbed penis?
>>265798229
Why are there so many fucking recolors of this image
>>265798432
thanks anon, you're a real friend
>>265798612
yeah why not, my tongue would also be barbed, so whatever
>>265797314
Is there a version of this image with Mass Effect or even Zelda races?
>>265798612
Like in TES writing itself, it's painful, but a good kind of painful
>>265798729
Only if you're a qt cat boy though.
>>265798763
Not that I know of
Which race is sexiest?
>>265798897
Argonians.
>>265798897
Khajiit
>>265798897
All of them have their fair share of cuties, anon.
>>265798590
Assuming I'm still me, and have my own intellect, and lack of faith: I will go with Orc. Because I can simply leave that culture when I'm old enough. Pursue my own life and passions. But also I'm huge, powerful, and hung like well... an orc.
>>265798897
Argonians
>tfw you were born human and not a handsome lizardman
Armenian bc I fucking love reptiles
>>265797314
Really? Placing Bosmer that low? Their skills are so good though.
I was the hero of Skyrim. Everyone told me I had the soul of a true Nord and I drove the Imperial scum back to Cyrodiil with ease.
>>265799070
Are you suggesting the Ottomans are Dunmer?
I have yet to meet a nord fan who wasn't a retard.
>>265799119
fucking hell I meant Argonians
>>265798978
And you have a cursed lifespan of 40 years.
Have fun.
>>265798873
>Independent and House
>Not the right choices
Enjoy your corrupt democracy set to collapse in 50 years and your slavery based dictatorship set to collapse even sooner.
>>265799219
nah it's better the other way
>>265799254
>not choosing based californian amurrican faction
>you'll never cuddle up with a smooth Argonian on a cold night
>you'll never cuddle up with anyone on a cold night
>>265799241
What are you talking about?
i'd be a khjiit so i can be a qt3.14 catgirl :3
>Race-mixing is impossible because children are always the mother's species.
>Imperial porking a Khajiit will produce a litter of kittens.
>>265799469
The luxurious argonian maid III when
>>265797314
Orcs because doubling your attack power with Berserk is insane.
It's like getting Hulk on those mother fuckers.
You can dead lift 500kg and out of nowhere you can 1t.
Berserk is just broken man, you can talk about your mana,stamina,health,animal companion,war cry, night vision or whatever the fuck you want but doubling your strength it's and always will be the best.
Just imagine someone like Ronnie Coleman using Berserk, jeez.
>>265799547
>luxurious
>>265798569
They don't. They only play TES with exploits and sneak archers.
>>265799469
I'd rather not cuddle up with a scaly lizard on a cold night.
I'd go with a Dunmer.
>Tries to act like she doesn't want to do it.
>That warm fire-resistant flesh
>young Dunmer are sensual and promiscuous.
>>265799675
>not playing a khajiit assassin who creates her own poisons to snipe her targets from afar
it's like you don't even know how to play TES games
>>265799694
But anon! They need your body heat more than you do!
How can you be so heartless?
>>265799398
I find it really funny how the main complaint of the NCR was basically a direct shot at our government, and the US in its current state is 1000 times worse with its bureaucracy, waste, ignorance, and authoritarianism
The wasteland was based as fuck. Most people wanted nothing to do with all these clashing powers that wanted to control them, which IMO is why Yes Man is the best and canon ending. You give the people what they want, dangerous freedom over orderly slavery.
Khajiit
Eat fish. Get High. Steal Shit.
Skyrim may belong to the nords but your shekels belong to this one.
>>265799524
Orcs in TES are cursed to have shorter lifespan than most races of men, the average lifespan is usually 45 years old.
>>265799675
>not playing a lizard wizard
>>265799759
>>not playing a khajiit assassin who creates her own poisons to snipe her targets from afar
I specifically said all you niggers do is play sneak archer assassins and the fact that you play female khajiit only makes it worse.
I know you are just a troll but god damn dude.
>>265799870
I will actually try that one because how stupid it sounds.
>>265799119
God damnit now I hate the turks even more.
>there are people in this thread who actually want to be gypsies
>>265799798
Fuck that shit I prefer something that can support itself.
>>265799817
Libertarian plz go home and vote for Ron Paul.
>>265799862
Oh, shit really?? Then I better make sure I eat right and do cardio.
>>265799862
Are they actually cursed or does it have something to do with their living conditions?
Orcs have a hard life, man.
Working the mines and the forge ain't easy.
>>265799827
>not being allowed in towns
>>265799915
>Legitimatelypretending to beretarded.
>>265797314
dat huge curved redgaurd penis
>>265799870
Post lizard
>>265797314
>nord
>not the single most boring race in TES
>>265799999
>>265800000
>>265799932
>there are people in this thread who want to be the equivalent of africans
>>265799992
>He doesn't know how to sneak.
Argonians aren't cold-blooded.
Otherwise half the Argonians you encounter would be dead.
>>265799941
You know its true.
>>265799932
I wouldn't compare Khajiits to Gypsies, those cats have done x10000 more than those layabouts would ever do
>>265797314
The only good race, of course.
>>265800128
Shh I know but I want to guilt trip >>265799936
>>265800102
>there are people in this thread that let real world racism keep them from enjoying a legitimately cool aspect of a videogame
>>265799996
See I knew you were pretending but you can't never be so sure in these threads.
Now someone posts the sneak archer picture.
>>265799987
It's a mixture.
Their Orsimer curse essentially puts their lifespan equal to Nords/Imperials and their violent as fuck culture mixed with other people murdering them for chuckles essentially caps them out at 50
>>265800196
I wanna Fug the lizard men
>>265800228
Guilt tripping implies I have the capacity to feel sorry towards Argonians.
>>265799536
The same bull book in skyrim actually states this doesn't work with the beast races, so an imperial poking a khajiit does nothing. also the other way around.
>>265799798 argonians are endothermic, they make their own heat.
THIS THREAD IS ALL FUCKING HURRDURR ITS SKYRIM.
Motherfuckers I would be a nord in elsweyr. Why? YOU SHOULD KNOW MOTHERFUCKERS.
Fucking sphynxii and shit and TREASURE.
Also I will totally minmax mah stats. get on my level.
>>265800164
>You know its true.
Gee, I sure want the government to end so we can go back to being an anarchist third world country.
The native americans had it sooo good.
>>265800357
>Fucking sphynxii and shit and TREASURE.
I thought it would be for the moon sugar and skooma.
>>265800343
Why so mean
>>265800196
>argonian
>with shoes on
kek
>>265800279
I know they were cursed but I always thought it was some sort of myth and it was more related to their lifestyle rather than an actual curse.
I mean, the same could be said about anyone living in the TES universe. People die left and right everyday.
Orcs, Khajiit and Argonians are probably the worst though slavery and hard work is not good for your heard or so I've heard, I've never been a slave.
>>265800265
I bet you play a nord.
>>265798590
>Nord? Have to hang out with frosty racists.
What's not to love?
>>265800491
I'm not mean, I just allocate my interests elsewhere.
I'd much rather cuddle with a cute Nord, Breton or Bosmer before an Argonian.
I would say Imperial or Altmer because they seem to have the best living conditions.
I mean. Just because I'm in the TES world doesn't mean I'm not a frail coward. I don't want to die a lying in a forest bleeding out for hours. That would be horrible.
Maybe I'll start up a farm. The agriculture in Tamriel must be profitable as fuck seeing as one province only has a few tiny farms with two chickens on it. Food must be a ridiculously expensive commodity.
>>265800496
Oblivion and Skyrim still exist
>>265800475
But those are pretty hard drugs man. It's like doing heroin, why would you do that to yourself?
>>265800547
They could probably live to 80-100 if they had a healthy lifestyle, but they're cursed so they can't live for hundreds of years like mer, and again their culture essentially prevents them from getting old, and they actually seek out death in battle once they start getting old.
>>265800663
Can't you get cured by poking an alter a couple times?
>>265797314Bosmer
>>265800563
No, I play all races but my favorite is orc.
>>265800601
Eh, different strokes for different folks. I am being a bit insistent now that I think of it.
>>265800757
Yeah, and you know another reason why I don't like Argonians?
Nobush.
>>265797314
imperial ideally followed by breton
argonians and MAYBE khajiit are pretty cool too
>>265800887
>hair anywhere on your body
>>265800674
Yeah.
Honestly If I were an orc I would drop that bullshit culture and live as the greatest orc chef ever.
Maybe I would become an adventurer but I wouldn't kill things with rational souls. I don't really enjoy murder. I mean, I know I would have to kill bandits or else I would get killed but I wouldn't enjoy it.
I just want a party of pals exploring the world while I cook them delicious meals and maybe use orc rage to have some pretty rough sex with children.
>>265800887
Ya know what, I can respect that.
>>265801034
>Not loving an Altmer with a perfectly kept platinum landing strip.
>>265799675
>wooow sneak and magic is so plebian I just want to smack things with my sword over and over again
>>265800475
Well elsweyr lore-wise has the most city ruins anywhere and is essentially mesopotamia for the elder scrolls.
I will be the best nord archeologist.
Also these games keep getting smaller, in my imagination this shit would be pretty full size.
Skyrim is actually smaller than oblivion it just hides it well.
Also it kinda also depends on what time you would enter nirn, If there was a choice i'd enter right after the plot against the imperial simulacrum was resolved. Kinda a golden age for the empire there.
>no polls
http://strawpoll.me/2670609
http://strawpoll.me/2670606
>>265801045
>Honestly If I were an orc I would drop that bullshit culture
At the risk of sounding like an edgy fedoralord, most culture is bullshit in one way or another.
Redguard or High Elf.
Altmer get to fuck elven women all day, and being a wizard is cool.
Redguard are like wizards but with swords instead of spells, so that is also cool.
Redguard > Orsimer > Altmer > other faggotsBosmer are shittest
>>265801327
I don't know man elves in tes lore are kinda classist.
In that way india was before britbongs, guess it depends on if you "enter" the world or are born into it.
>>265801184
>Over and over again.
I would only hit it twice with berserker rage
>wooow melee and magic is so plebian I just want to shoot things with my bow over and over again
>wooow sneak and melee is so plebian I just want to cast spells to things with my wand and tomes over and over again
Also I never implied magic was pleb. I said exploits like potion + enchanting exploits and sneak + archery which everyone does to cheese the game like a pleb.
>>265801240
>tfw no likes Bretons
>>265801503
They're literally Frenchmen.
>>265801556
I know. That what makes them sweet.
>>265801240
>argonians leading
>there are people who don't exclusively play imperial and murder all of the filthy mer they see for the glory of Shezarr
>>265801240
>argonian winning both
master race
>>265801240
>so many argonians
I mean. Fair enough and all. But what makes them so interesting in people eyes?
Is it their history or does people just like lizards that much?
>>265801615
>liking the French
>>265801481
I hope TES is wide enough that it has room for High Elves that don't give a fuck. Divayth Fyr can't be the only chill as fuck ancient wizard running around.
>>265801293
You don't sound edgy at all.
All culture does is setting a barrier for the inevitable global monoculture.
A lot of countries are pissy about it but it's a necessary step to achieve world peace and stop with racism and ethnocentrism.
>But muh americanized culturedthose countries cry.
Once Japan gets assimilated into the global monoculture not only anime will be more popular but also the convenience of that country. Get ready for the arcade comeback and vending machines flooding the market.
Depends on how we are getting the races represented. If we are going with skyrim, fuck yeah Argonian. Bitches would be all over my smooth as fuck voice and want the D.
Redguard and Orcs are runner ups, being a rapper with the capability to split atoms with swords would be cool. And orcs tend to be pretty bro tier when they aren't killing you.
I would be a bounty hunter or some shit, shit seems easy unless you live in cyrodiil during the third era.
>>265801632
Fucking pelinal. Even crazier than Sheogorath
>>265801680
Argonians are just sweet like that
Plus sexy lizard men
>>265801680
How many games let you play as a lizard?
>>265801737
>>265801737
Monoculture sounds extremely dry and boring.
It's like you want to turn a buffet into one single gray goo that, while nutritious, tastes like cardboard.
>>265801795
Why so?
>>265801680
Scales are one hell of a fetish.
I mean, come on dog. I love orcs and all but I want to try some of that lizard pussy.
>>265801680
Underwater breathing and disease immunity are very useful passive abilities and it's easy to make them look somewhat decent.
>>265801682
Well. I don't. But I like that they basically took a region in France and put it into Tamriel.
If they were called Danes and and everyone was called Soren would be equally enjoyable.
>>265801632
But anon you can be an Argonian or Khajiit or Nord or Redguard and still murder mer
>>265801680
Scalies.
Really, it's the scalies.
>>265801840
>killed a bunch of Khajiit cause he thought they were elves
He was hardcore but godamn he loved killing.
>>265801694
Well if i find one in a ancient ruin in elsweyr I'll let you know.
Also why the fuck don't people know their weapons?
like spears, people don't even know about spears.
Also armor as well.
>>265801680
It's their lizard dicks
>>265801680
I want to be a lizard girl.
Altmer.
>>265801831
Peace sounds boring too, but most people want that.
I'd want to be an Orcforge wife in a strongholdor a Redguard hunter. No big adventures or anything, just living in some small to medium sized town somewhere between Hammerfell, High Rock and Skyrim.
>Pelinal called out Haromir of Copper and Tea into a duel at the Tor, and ate his neck-veins while screaming praise to Reman, a name that no one knew yet
>>265801976
Or their lizard butts
>>265801503
Bretons are the shit, dude.
Bretons are too busy kicking each other's asses in High Rock to give a fuck about the rest of the world.
A united Breton race would be a scourge upon Nirn.
>>265801680
Underwater breathing, immunity to disease and poison (lore-wise), and they were basically made by the Hist who are amazing.
Why would you not want to be an argonian?
also they are hot
>>265801680
Dunno, when I first played Morrowind I thought the races were pretty cool, but then "FUCKING LIZARD MEN HOLY SHIT WHAT, FUCK ELVES AND CATS IMMA LIZARD NOW". Then again I was like 13 at the time, and at this point its tradition to make my first character an Argonian in TES games now.
Also what small amount of lore we have for them is pretty cool, shits so alien compared to the other races.
>>265801925
This, Pelinal was cool but shit that nigga needs to calm down.
>>265801682
>Being americunt/englasshole
fuck off, the french are brave as shit
>>265802037
Shit, forgot to quote >>265801840
>>265802037
This goes straight with sheogorath giving people visions, nonsensical incomplete visions but still the future.
at least sheogorath knows his shit.
>>265801831
Can't be helped dude. It literally can't.
It's not like it will be boring and dry, it'll be a mixture of everything exciting all cultures have to offer.
Like a mixture of dias de muertos, bon-odori, etc.
Or Jews and Palestinians not fighting anymore because jews went extinct.
Or hooking up with a russian cutie one day and a brazilian one the other.
IT honestly sounds like a bright and fun future without the bullshit we have now.
Complete global acceptance of all cultures with new challenges.
>>265802086
Ever since daggerfall I have green hair, even if i have to put that shit in myself.
Fuck logic.
lizard pussy > horse pussy
>>265797314
Dunmer
Also I love how people adapted that /pol/ image. Amazing
>>265797314
Argonians are the best
>breathe underwater
>immune to disease
What more could you want?
Got guards, bandits or wild animals on your tail? Hop in a river and hide for a bit.
Someone's poisoned the water hole?
Not a problem!
>>265801805
>>265801812
Well. I can kinda understand that.
>>265801841
>>265801902
>>265801976
Isn't it kinda boring playing the game based on your fetishes?
Do you just play Argonian almost every new game or just every once in a while?
>>265801869
>>265802084
Well. Underwater breathing and immunity to disease was kind of useless in Oblivion and Skyrim sadly.
>Why would you not want to be an argonian?
Well. There are 9 other races to lay too. I like to play all of them.
>>265802160
>IT honestly sounds like a bright and fun future without the bullshit we have now.
Doesn't sound fun to me.
All that future looks like to me is a sea of brown people going to McDonalds and pulling out their prayer mats while a smattering of white atheists look on with disapproval.
>>265802260
I tried to play argonian once but it was boring. I'm going to try argonian mage next.
>>265802260
I play as argonian every time in skyrim cause race benefits blow in that game anyway
In morrowind or oblivion it depends on playstyle
>>265802297
I was actually thinking about that myself.
Though you get kinda bored of magic in Skyrim really fast. Even with mods.
>>265802260
Nah man, extrapolate or whatever it is.
Argonians can't get diseases. STDs are the primary factor in not fucking everything ever.
Argonians can't get STDs.
Everyone wants lizard-dick.
Thus, an Argonian IRL would be slamming dat pussy.
>>265802275
Oh shut up /pol/. This is exactly what Hitler wanted minus the inbreeding.
Religion will get more interesting too.
I wonder how people will tackle our spiritual problems in the future.
Oh by the way, McDonalds is dying.
I'd be a dunmer.
