The Bible has the deepest lore.What chapter would make a good game? And what kind of genre would suit it better?
The chapter with the apostle Rufus.
Acts of the Apostles. Free roaming action RPG.
>>258933823
I like the chapter where Moses fucks his daughters, then fucks his daughter's daughters.
>>258933823
>implying anyone actually reads the bible
>>258933823isaac
Probably an obvious answer, but Revelation, of course.
>>258933823
A survival horror game where you have to kill undead vampire arabs when you're wandering the desert with Moses. You can set up camp during the night and fortify. You're only safe during the day and have to collect mana to survive and hone your skills.
Imagine if Kojima made a Bible game about Jesus
an RTS game based on Genesis
>>258934826
He would make it convoluted for the sake of making it convoluted.THE MESSIAH!?
>inb4 The You Testament
Exodus
All of a sudden I can see Telltale Games making an adventure game where you play as Jesus. Choice moments would include being tempted by Lucifer in the desert, and Jerusalem would be one big finale.
How about a game where you fuck shit up as Inanna?
>>258933823
I think I said this before...
>Grand Strategy type of game
>point of view from catholic/orthodox/other church
>spread amongst the Roman empire and beyond
>set up missions and manage your relationship to leaders
>try your best to survive the collapse of the empire
So...the 'Book of Acts'?
>>258933823
>Not knowing about all the Bible Games
Shit nigger
Isn't there some shit with angels with flaming swords? Let's do some of that.
>>258934041
Wut
>>258933823
Fiction.
Joshua and Judges are both about Hebrews fucking up Canaanites of various groups left and right.
Joshua was such a badass that God stopped moving the sun from going down so Joshua would have enough daylight to kill more Canaanites.
There is already a game series about the Bible. It is calledSMT
An action game where you play as Samson and fuck shit up
>>258933823
Revelations would be a cool survivor horror.
>>258935442
The angel with the flaming sword guarded the entrance to Eden after God gave Adam and Eve the divine boot.
>>258935941
God of war without fighting gods?
>>258936060
I was thinking more like Hulk Ultimate Destruction: Jewish Edition
I can see the Old Testament being converted into a game.
That's when God was at his most ruthless
>>258935558
Joshua: Total War
>>258934957
fund this i would play it
>>258936281
tfw neo-God doesn't smite anyone
>>258934041
That's not Moses, that's Lot and Lot's daughters made him drunk and raped him.
A David and Goliath game that works like Warning Forever, you fight an endless series of giants that changes based on how you beat the previous ones.
King David had a pretty interesting life. Would probably make a pretty good game.
>>258933823
Isiah or Revelations would do it.
Also, the old testimate wars against the Philistines could be fun.
>in between battles, you do Civ management
>must follow everything your prophet says
>if you disobey the prophet or accidentally a sin, your chance of winning a battle drops like a rock
>with God on your side, you can win 1v10 odds. Against you, you could lose with the same.
Alternatively,
>killing Goliath and his sons
>dem Hebrew warriors renowned for like 200+ kills in a single battle
I'd like a banner saga-style game about the exodus from israel
Any religion based on literature is fucking retarded.
>ctrl+F El Shaddai
>0 results
Good going, fags.
>>258933823
Revelations. The game has already been made... sort of....DarksidersThere will never be another Darksiders. Pic very much related...
I would unironically enjoy a jesus meme game (think goat simulator) where you bust off the cross and fuck people up. There would also be many hilarious gameplay mechanics like turning water into wine and drinking it for replenishment
Old testament is fucking borderline CUH-RAZY.
I like the idea. The Old Testament is full of awesome shit and battles.
>>258937212
>A boring weeb game with bishi figures using crappy combat mechanics.
>>258936026
Would make an awesome hidden boss
>>258936674
They can make a game based on the book of Jedges in the Bible which includes characters like Gideon who was an Israelite soldier that went to kill the Midianites in his quest for vengeance due to his family being murdered as a casualty of war.
Samson, the strongest man who ever lived and used his Super Human strength to kill 50 men with a jawbone of a donkey and literally brought down an entire temple that had Philistines in it using nothing but his own bare hands. His weakness is that he would lose his strength if his hair is cut, which means he has long hair.
David went to battle not only Goliath, but he also battled his other giant brothers and lead his troops against the Philistines.
Debra, a prophetess of God was also a tactician that lead the Israelites to winning against the Canaanites and ushered in peace for 40 years.
>>258936543
Didn't it end with salt?
>>258937082
>No funof biblical proportionsallowed!
>>258937256
Darksiders isn't anything like the actual book of Revelations though. It has War and Death, kind of, but they don't even do what they do in Revelations. Aside from the world ending, everything is different.
We already have The Binding of Isaac and Metal Gear Solid.
>>258937445
>>258937534
>Old testamentmind
Not Biblical but Christian apocrypha, but there is a game based off the Book of Enoch
the only way this would had worked would be if they had made in on the Sega Genesis
Fist Messiah -- A spiritual sequel to God Hand. It recounts all the Jesus stories, but he preaches with his fists. Starts off with a tutorial level in the desert, then he roams temples punching merchants. Bosses include Zombie Lazarus, Pontius Pilate and the final boss is Death.
He fights a storm demon while walking on water. There's a donkey riding minigame.
>>258937082
No shit. That's not what's up for discussion friend.
>>258937765
Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt.
Lot's daughter believed that if they are to preserve their father's line, they gotta fuck him.
So they got him drunk enough because Lot wouldn't do it sober.
Lot's the ancestor of the Moabites.
>>258938242
Is that game really any good?I keep getting tempted to try it
King Solomon sim where you go exploring with your demon buddies and hunt genies that are terrorizing the country. There's a dating sim portion where you romance 700 wives and acquire a 300 concubine harem.
>>258938372
>and the final boss is Death.
Fuck that. Sure, send him to hell and make him fight death or Lucifer, but when he resurrects, it's time to fightGod
>>258933823
Stealth game where you play as Judith where you must inflitrate Holofernes' camp and behead him.
>>258937781
True. For example there's no mention of a council, nephilim, or old ones in the book. I suppose I should have said it was "inspired" by Revelations.
Still... a game that focuses on the four horsemen and includes elements from Revelations is more than enough to pique my interest.
anything from the new testament is nothing but lessons on being nice to each other, so that's automatically out, except for Revelations, which is a bunch of crazy apocalyptic craziness, which would be great
>tfw no Megami Tensei game where siding with God will get you a good ending
>>258938372
I've never thought I was able to want something this hard.
>>258938863
>forgetting stuff like paul smiting people and straight-up ignoring snake bites because he's so holy
>>258938954
>implyingMost law endings are shit sadly, too much neuter pandering, only SMT2 did a good job, but you more or less side with Satan rather than YHVH in that tough.
>>258934826
>"how did you heal that blind man, Jesus?"
>"NANOMACHINES", said Jesus
>...when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat, so that the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city.
Joshua 6:20
I've maintained for a long time that the Jews were dragonborn and could use dragon shouts, which is how they tore down the walls of Jericho.
There's a reason hitler wanted them dead.
>>258938372
there is a minigame where you have to punch bread, fish, and wine bottles into enough pieces to feed a mass of people. its focus is on juggling combos
>>258938820
>woof.
>>258938954
the law end in devil survivor is...less bad than most other SMT games.
>>258939356
>implying skyrim isn't about the adventures of the Jewishborn
>>258938372
this this this!
>>258938372
>tutorial level lasts 40 hours
>>258938552
It's pretty fun I enjoyed it. It plays almost the same as Devil May Cry, which makes sense since it was directed by the character designer for the old DMC games. The best part about it is by far the art style, which is just amazing, every level is really cool and stylish, it's just a visual treat to watch this game. Also there are parts where it gets pretty crazy, like pic related looks bonkers, but makes perfect(ish) sense in context. Definitely worth trying out at least once.
Like others have said, Joshua, the Judges, or Revelation.
Or Dante's Inferno.
>>258939356
seige of jericho would be a cool thing to play in a game
>>258939176
There should be a game where you star a huge hypocrite, realise you can take over a religion by inducting gullible tourists and pretend like you are super secret best friends with the now dead son of god.
You'd have a show down with the real heads of the religion, get arrested and sped the rest of the game under house arrest waging a propaganda war over which version of Christianity people should beleive.
I'm talking aboutPaul, from Acts of the Apostles and all the Letters in and around the New Testament.
>>258938372
>Temple clearing simulator
>whip and fistfight your way through the temple flipping over merchant tables
Holy shit that sounds fucking awesome!
>>258938372
Already been done
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xSORIDw1Sg
>>258938494
this book is so full of dark magic, unreal violence and sex, it's hilarious if you think about what kind of religion it was spawned from
The Book of Samson. The most metal of biblical stories.
>Jews are occupied by Philistines, and sick of it
>Man and wife pray to God, want their son to be the baddest motherfucker alive and kill the Philistines
>God says okay, but he has to be Captain Israel to keep his strength
>Must observe the rules of an ancient order of Israeli monks: can't eat or drink anything made from grapes, can't touch dead bodies, can't cut his sick dreadlocks
>Samson grows up not knowing he's a goddamn tyrannosaurus
>Getting married into a Philistine family, on way to wedding feast
>Gets attacked by a lion, and he punches it to fucking death
>Bees come and make a nest in lion's corpse, Samson the honey will make the most badass dessert ever and scoops it out
>Presents honey at dinner and tells some bullshit riddle to guests just to fuck with them
>Guests learn the answer from fucking his fiancee
>Samson realizes his wife is a whore and Philistines are all shitheads, kills every Philistine in a 100-mile radius with his bare fucking hands
>The legend begins
cont.
>>258939703
>Dante's Inferno
I would go about it more as a stealth/exploration/horror game than a hack n' slash.
>>258939356
It all makes sense now...
>>258939909
Based frogs
>>258940036
It should be designed like abe's odyssey, that'd be neat.
>>258939879The twist ending is that you essentially win and become immortalized in the religion and all the people who know better get butchered to death by the Roman Empire back in Jerusalem.
>>258939943
Isn't there that book in it that just uses sex as symbolism?
>>258939713
too controversial, you'd have too kill unarmed women and kids.
>>258940036
It is a hack n' slash game, called Dante's Inferno.
That shit isn't bible related though, The Inferno is a part from The Divine Comedy written by Dante.
>>258939879
Paul never hid the fact that he was a Jewish leader that prosecuted and killed Christians before joining them.
He was a man of God who wrote that Circumcision and refusing to eat Pork along with many Levitical laws are no longer a necessity because they've been fulfilled.
A real hypocrite would be Benny Hinn or the Roman Emperor Constantine.
>>258940401
That's partially what I was thinking, with SMT-style conversations with denizens of hell.
>>258940639
I know about that, and it wasn't a very good video game.
>>258940707
You realize you're about to get into an argument about Pauline doctrine on the video games section of a japanese cartoon imageboard on the internet, correct?
>>258940027
Hahaha awesome.
>>258940639
>Dante's Inferno isn't bible related
Neither is the papacy but that doesn't stop anyone from believing it.
>>258937256
That's good because the second darksiders was so shit it cancelled out everything positive about the first.
>>258940027
>Samson becomes a bona-fide legend with his Philistine-punching prowess
>Philistines form a Legion of Doom-esque cabal to take him down
>Blackmail Samson's new wife into helping them discover his weakness
>Samson fucks around with her for a while, but eventually lets it slip that cutting his hair will take his powers away
>Wakes up the next morning bald, can no longer kill lions by punching them
>Sinks into depression
>Philistines are rounding up all the Jews
>Samson realizes what must be done
>Runs up mountainsides and trains on meat carcasses while Eye of the Tiger plays in the background
>Shows up in the Legion of Doom's main temple
>Enough time has passed that his hair has grown back out
>Everyone freaks out, thinking his power has returned
>He uses pure skill to kill about a dozen people before they realize that he's just a normal man and get the upper hand
>Samson, in desperation, kneels down
>"God, I know I've never prayed before, but please do me this one favor and help me murder all of these dudes."
>God gives him his super-strength back
>Samson tears apart two massive marble columns with his bare hands and brings the entire temple down
>Samson sacrificed his life so that the Philistine plague could finally be wiped out of Israel
The best part is, scholars have no idea what the fuck this story is even doing in the bible. There's no parable, God doesn't have much presence, and it's basically just a superhero story.
>>258941170
Really? Never played it what was done so badly?
>>258940409
Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon), baby. It's pretty much a book about a couple talking about how much they want to have sex (including oral) with one another.
>>258941180
I'm pretty sure they captured Samson the very moment he woke up, and gouged his eyes out.
Then the killed fucking everything with what strength he had left.
tl;dr bitches and hoes
>>258933823
I like the part of the bible that's real.
>f3 "four horsemen"
>1 result
come on, /v/.
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/horsemen.html
Probably playing as lucifer.
I feel completely apathetic about religion in general but I do still enjoy a lot of biblical teachings
My favorite one is Matthew 26:52
"Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword."
It both sounds cool and I agree what Jesus meant to say with it. There's conscription in my country and a lot of people who go to the army are really hype about it, but I think they're not being very mature because being happy about learning to kill another human being is fucking evil and dangerous, in my opinion
>>258941180
It's pro-Israelite propaganda in an Israelite text. I don't see what scholars are confused about.
Better questioning is as to why there's basically softcore porn in the Bible.
>>258940707
>God came to me, I have truly seen the light now! I will become a brand new religious authority with tremendous disruptive political influence!
>I knew a guy who knew Jesus too
>>258941609
>Better questioning is as to why there's basically softcore porn in the Bible.
Back then people weren't scared of sex.
Don't let these modern Christians fool you.
but premarital or bust.
>>258941180
>RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS
>>258940787
About Dante's hot rings of hell, I reckon it was pretty badass that you kill the grim reaper/death at the start and take his scythe because you are too manly to die.
They could have made a better game out of it I guess, I liked the action angle but I never replayed it.
Sorry, I misread your comment and thought you were suggesting a Hack and Slash based on Dante's Inferno, but I understand what you mean now.
I wouldn't mind if it was more like a slower Dark Souls, but have trouble picturing it as a stealth game. Wanna suggest something?
>Revelations
>hack n' slash action during tribulation.
>enemies are human faced locusts, demons, etc.
>ur bosses are the Whore of Babylon, the False Prophet, and the Beast.
>environments are ruined cities and Hell landscapes.
>>258940027
>>258941180
This is probably one of the best Cliff Notes I've ever had to read.
I'd read the Bible if it was a graphic novel like this.
>>258941180
It's in the bible because it was an important event that happened in ancient Israel.
God did give Samson his strength AND the moral of the story is not get drunk and marry someone outside your faith.
>>258941180
>>258941806
i meant no premarital
>>258934253
Im pretty sure the pope does Anon.and hes on V every day
>>258941879
Only he bullshited the last half of the story. I wonder where the hell he read it.
>>258941914
If you are a bit flexible with the date, the late bronze age has a wealth of options.
Sea People raiding everywhere, Kadesh, Egypt being zergrushed by Libu and Sea People, fall of Troy,
>>258941609
Depending on what branch you ascribe too, Song of Songs is either just poetry included for completeness's sake, or about how you should just fuck like animals with your wife all the time.
>>258941879
Between the badass stories and the cool chill Jesus teachings the Bible isn't that bad of a read.
The Bible is my favorite fiction book.
>>258933823
Revelation would make the craziest action game ever made.
>>258942214
Dev's have done that to death though.
Fucking noah, hunting down crazy animals and shit.
God of war type game where you kill all the characters of the bible. Imagine a QTE of nailing Jesus to a cross while fighting him. Guess it could start with the serpent in the garden of eden and work its way up from there.
>>258942020
Is mary the popes Waifu?
>>258941806
>Back then people weren't scared of sex.
>Don't let these modern Christians fool you.
Sex isn't bad, it's the PERVERSION of sex that is bad.
It's good if you keep it within marriage and enjoy the pleasure while acknowledging one another in love.
>>258941164
Hah, yeah.
I know it is hypocritical to take everything in a book as the truth, but I read Riza Aslan's Zealot book which is a scholar's examination of everything that is in the New Testament and what he reckons actually happened or is meant. It also keeps a track of what times everything was written down and the cultural influences of those documents.
Good book anyway, but I love regurgitating his ideas to shock people who talk to me about the bible. It isn't an atheist thing either, just a historian thing.
40 Day and 40 Nights
Survival game where you must resist the increasing advances of Satan while wandering the desert for 40 day night cycles. If you give in you'll realise that Satan was trying to help and offer water, stop being a fucking retard Jesus Christ.
>>258942484
*tip mitre*
>>258942487
Feel fee to share some, Gentle anon.
>>258942484
Too bad a lot of people have misinterpreted that and damn near everything else the bible has said. Whether for their own reasons or just cause they didn't actually read it that carefully.
>>258941826
It's more of trying to be closer to the source material. Dante's basically given a tour through Inferno, not fighting through it with a badass scythe.
He and his friend also have to deal with a few rowdy demons in the book, but they usually bullshit their way through or just attempt to sneak past rather than raise their ire.
>>258941581
read ecclesiastes, it's the best-written part of the old testament and veers into borderline nihilism.
This guy knocks on your door with a message from God
What do you do?
>>258942803
Wow having a tour through hell sounds fun for some reason.
>>258942740
There are Christians that treat sex as evil?
Like I said, the perversion of sex is evil, not sex.
Money isn't the root of all evil, that was also misquoted.
It's the LOVE of money that's the root of all evil as money itself is neutral.
>>258942487
I'm always up for a shock and I like Biblical history. Tell me something I don't know.
>>258942954
Try to not comprehend what I'm looking at.
>>258942954
Go insane and tear out my eyes.
>>258934826
HANGING ON THE CROSSSS
OF THE PASSION, LIKE THE PROPHET ONCE DID
>>258942954
Test him to see if he was from God by hearing what he has to say first to see if it aligns with scripture.
>>258942954
Stick a finger in the nearest eye to see what happens.
>>258942960
Dante's Inferno is a pretty good read. Especially if you like history. It's not all that long either.
>>258942484
I think it was Christianity which introduced a strain of celibacy unknown (or at least unfamiliar by and large) to Judaism. Judaism being the usual rural religion that espoused fertility and child-rearing like Islam, while Christianity got a lot of theologians and thinkers from more urban and philosophy-oriented backgrounds.
It may not have been Christianity so much as Christianity's birth during a time when gnosticism and dualism had a very strong sway, and with it the views of the physical realm being irrevocably flawed and tainted and connections such as sexuality further roping one to that material plane.
https://www.ewtn.com/library/HUMANITY/homo5.htm
The author makes the case for Augustine's writing, and accounts of competing Christian dogmas, illustrating a specific Christian camp that was by no means a fringe group espousing a very negative view of sexuality. Again however, rooted more in Platonic philosophy or the gnostic heresies that abounded than anything in Jesus or the OT.
>>258942803
Dante's Inferno could work as an adventure game, but I'd love it as a kind of CRPG where combat is still an option but it's not hack-and-slash. Like Planescape Torment.
>>258942954
Shit.
Angle are fucking freaky as well.
>Those six winged angles near the throne of god. One pair covers their eyes so they cant look upon him. Another covers their feet so they arent seen treading on the same ground of god.
I think thats the jist of them
>>258942954
Tip my fedora furiously, nod disrespectfully and close the door.
>>258943270
>Ow, stop that asshole.
>>258942954
What is this some new wacky Evangelion enemy?
>>258942954
I could see a survival horror game involving angels. No idea what the game would be like though.
![Cherubim_by_cinemamind[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0CG3qIi.jpg "Cherubim_by_cinemamind[1].jpg")
>>258942960
If one could manage to provide some stellar graphics to go along with it, I could imagine it selling well as anindie horror game
>>258943121
Angels that comprise of wheels spinning counter to one another, made of an unknown jewel and covered in hundreds of eyes. They're best friends with pic related and have the illustrious job of carrying God's throne around.
>>258935105
MDickie pls go
>>258942378
Look up Bible Adventures for the NES.
It's got Noah hunting animals, David hunting sheep and then fighting goliath, and Baby Moses getting intentionally thrown in the Nile by his mom without any boat twenty times in a row because that one was so fucking unreasonably hard that it breaks the kindest of people.
>>258943613
The Bible is pretty much where they got those ideas from.
Exodusbut I still hope the people here are just discussing the Bible without looking at it from a religious perspective.
>>258942378
Noah would be huge. An open world exploration game, where you're rounding up animals all over the world. You'd have to design and micromanage the Arc to accommodate every single animal, while fighting off giants and other crazy pre-flood creatures.
>>258933978
and black jesus
A Devil May Cry style game based on Samson
>>258943957
>implying both can't coexist
>>258943716
>Biblical angels are so crazy looking they had to tell people to chill whenever they showed up in their true form
>>258943957
>that spoiler
Who cares man this thread is interesting regardless.
>>258943449
The thing about priests in the Catholic Church having to be celibate isn't Biblical teaching.
Paul exclaims that celibacy is OPTIONAL and if you are a horny person that can't control your dick, then it's BETTER that you find a girl and marry her.
Paul and Jesus are celibate.
The other apostles had families.
Mary, mother of Jesus actually had relations with Joseph and have kids after Jesus was born. Jesus was born from a virgin, but the virgin didn't stay virgin for long. James younger half brother of Jesus and was of both human parents Joseph and Mary. But the Catholic Church for whatever reason tries to ignore this.
>>258944103
Considering that they started small earthquakes whenever they spoke, there's good reason for it.
>>258944086
Are you telling me that most people discussing this actually believe in this stuff?
>>258936543
The flying fuck?! This is in the bible?
sorry, i only read non-fiction.
>>258938372
>Jesus rises from the dead because in the final level of act 4 you fight your way through hell to the surface god of war style
Man church taught me nuthin bout jesus
>>258944267
If they do it really isn't harming discussion. Keep your fedora to yourself, nobody was even discussing the validity of the religion prior to your post.
>>258944439
>I can only reply with memes because I'm so simple minded
>>258939328
>Not "Nanomachines, my son"
>>258944281
Yes, in Genesis 19.
>>258943469
Angels either look like regular guys or are those weird creatures with frighting and strange forms.
The Bible Nowhere states that there are winged female angles and there are no winged angel babies.
Angels are also a complete separate race from humans, no one becomes an angel when they die.
Because Angels look bizarre and scary, they tend to respond with "Be not afraid" when they appear in their angelic form.
>>258944267
Probably not, but does it hurt if they do?
>>258944281
It can get pretty dirty. Song of Songs is, as many have pointed out earlier, essentially written erotica, and they certainly don't bother censoring things. Ezekiel 23:20 and all that.
>>258943983
Right? fucking dinosaurs and ancient fuckin civilizations with crazy avatar like tech and a fucked up society. Would be wild. Those ancient alien guys would be shitting bricks in excitement.
>>258944236
>The thing about priests in the Catholic Church having to be celibate isn't Biblical teaching.
I was led to believe that it was a politically motivated doctrine that prevented priests from willing away church land to potential heirs.
It probably has older roots than that though
>>258944529
Make me.
>>258944281
They thought the world was ending and thus needed to repopulate, their father was the only other guy around....
Mind you before this their mother was turned into a pillar of salt as they fled from a city that was /d/ incarnate and condemned by God to destruction.
>>258944676
10/10 would worship
>>258934957
>literal god mode
>don't have to do shit but watch a single angel kill the entire enemy base
>>258944662
>I think my infantile, unoriginal 'teenage' logic merits a serious response
>>258933823
That one with the trolls and the waifus
>>258944676
>>258943171
A MAN ON THE VERGE OF HELL
CLOSE TO TEMPTATION
GETTING CLOSE TO HIS LAST SIN
TEN COMMANDMENTS!
>>258944786
Lateran Councial 1215: look it up bitch.
>>258944846
Wasn't there also a prophet who allegorically wrote about two girls getting raped by donkey dicks?
>>258944676
>mfw I thought of that
>didn't post it
Th-thanks.
i'm amazed that /v/ and 4chan in general has matured to the point that you can discuss religion and christianity here without overzealous atheists coming out of the woodwork to shit up the discussion
>>258944706
>Angels are also a complete separate race from humans, no one becomes an angel when they die.
according to some schools of jewish thought, enoch became the archangel metatron.
>>258941239
A prequel to a game that ended on an excellent cliffhanger.
Meandering story that drops all Revelations motifs.
"Before I can help you, you must collect three of x." - Every character you meet.
The amount time spent shuffling across wooden beams.
A loot system that tried to cover for the lack of weapons.
The overworld was nice, though.
>>258944963
You're the one tipping the fedora at this point.
Fuck off
>>258944267
Go back to Reddit.
>>258945429
I think it's mainly because this thread is about the Bible in a story/event sense, not the existence of God or the validity of the religion itself.
>>258942954
DO NOT SEXUALIZE THE OPHAHIM
>>258945318
>praying to yourself
Jesus was just some crazy schizophreniac dude
>>258944846
>those two angels who hide in Lots house from the crowd of dudes who want to rape them
>Lot offers his daughters to the crowd to be raped so his guests wouldn't be harmed
>the crowd refuses free pussy and keep banging down the door because they just wanna rape those angels
Probably my favorite bible story
>>258945216
Ezekiel talks about Israel turning away from God in that manner, yes. Emissions like horses.
>>258945543
Go back to church.
>>258942067
Not really, the most important details are correct. Him being captured is missing, and it doesn't make clear that he has two wives, plus a few other badass things he did, but that's all.
Fedoras and belts aside, I think a game about Joshua would be pretty good. They should really make the scene with shouting the walls of the city to the ground as iconic as possible. It'd be hard to do it justice.
>>258934253
I've read the Bible. It made me an atheist. That shit is fucked up.
>>258945429
Because the Bible in a vacuum is a cool story book with pretty neat shit.
>>258944786
Jesus also said to not call anyone your father (in a religious sense) because there is only one father that's in Heaven.
But there are many Catholic priests that call themselves father.
Also the Bibles in translated in the common language of the people were once banned by the Catholic Church.
John Wycliffe was one of the first people to attempt to translate the Bible so that people can read the words for themselves. It was a time where all New testament scripture was only in Greek and Latin and the people depended on priests for their knowledge.
But the Catholic Church tried to burn all the translated Bibles and even cursed Wycliffe.
This eventually lead to more people translating the bible which lead to the King James and the Reformation.
>>258945194
All I see in regard to clerical conduct is a bunch of stuff about public image. Nothing about celibacy.
Besides, it's not as if they'd put it in the canons that a decision was made in consideration of inheritance disputes
>>258945429
It's just like discussing greek mythology anon
>>258945717
>implying I even go to church
What you believe is your business, but you don't have to be a prick.
>>258945737
And him doing most of that with his eyes gouged out.
>still no open-world exploration ARPG with Moses collecting animal buddies and fighting alongside them to survive fucking nature while finding more animal buddies
>>258945645
>The angles then make them all blind
>>258946036
>>258933823
The Israelites' tribes conquest and extermination of the Canaanites would be a good RTS, each tribe is a different faction with a different specialty and you can call on Deus ex machina powers to help you in battle.
The New Teats,ent would probably work more as an RPG, consisting mostly of conversation wheels deciding which parables to tell your followers. Everyone would bitch about the ending and the setup for the sequel that never comes.
>>258945860
I've looked at atheist regimes such as those of Mao, Stalin and others. They made me Christian.
>>258945860
The bible is fucking metal. I regret not reading it sooner, God's one tough motherfucker.
>>258933823
everything in Song of Songs.
That shits hot.
>>258946036
I actually just asked a question. Yes, in a prick manner and in a way that makes me look like a tipper, but I just asked a question.
>>258942954
Is that a Berserk demon? Jesus.
>>258933823Assassin's Creedgame set in Egypt when Moses was fucking shit up
>>258933823
Anything revolving around Joab, dude literally couldn't stop killing people. David fucked him over though, even though Joab was the one responsible for keeping David's shit together
>>258946359
Stalin burned down a lot of churches and killed more people than Hitler.
>>258944706
Angels are often described as just dudes with extremely shining, radiant clothes. No wings, no girls.
The "do not be afraid" bit is usually because if an angel visits you, no matter what they look like, it's going to be terrifying, ESPECIALLY if you're God-fearing. Also given their history, any time an angel appears in the new testament, you need to understand that their primary purpose in old testament history is destroying cities.
>>258945512
Rekt
>>258946684
Mao outscored him though
60 millions to 20 millions IIRC
>>258946836
I think we could just say all three of those guys killed "lots of people" and leave it at that.
>>258946709
angels are actuallyextraterrestrial visitors
>>258936972
>King David had a pretty interesting life.
this, for a man after God's own heart he was a rat bastard.
>>258944676
I thought about it, but didn't because that scene wasn't written by Kojima.
I'm autist.
>>258947018
He asked for forgiveness re: some of the shit he pulled though
Dante's Inferno type game but with the book of revelation.
>>258946684
>>258946836
Stalin and Mao both had famine to pad their scores, and in Mao's case it was unintentional. Hitler's score depends on how many WWII deaths you attribute to him. A better comparison for Stalin and Mao would be how many they killed as % of population, since China has so many people.
>>258946989
they might as well be. Have you seen artists' portrayal of some of the ones described? Here's two in the bottom left.
>>258933823
Tctics Ogre-like based on the book of Joshua
>>258946497
Orphanim or Thrones
They are the celestial embodiment of Gods justice and authority
They are living realitybreaking wheels inside of wheels inside of wheels with endless eyes on each wheel
They are third highest tier angel out there, highest caste being Seraphim, the burning ones
pic related
>>258946989
Of course they are. Extraterrestrial simply means "not of Earth", a category that angels fall under.
Paul (or maybe John in one of his letters, I forget which) even expresses that all who are of God are not of Earth, including true believers.I'm an alien.
>>258939909
>Je suis Christ, Jesus Christ
>>258947329
I second this. The angle of Dante saving his wife from hell was only so good of a motivation of character. Let's see what a character would be like trying not to deal with the fucking apocalypse.
>>258947018
He really was an asshole
>slept with an honorable man's wife, and had that man killed by putting him on the front lines
>had the man who killed saul (who was david's enemy) killed, for some bullshit reason
>had the general of his army killed at the end of his reign, despite the fact that joab was a badass and probably would have been a better king than david
Jesus is a good wrestler.
>>258947579
The best part is the Jes-US army.
>>258939909
How the fuck do I watch this?
Wont let murricans watch.
The part where racism was born when God curses Ham with black skin for his laziness, thus creating black people
>>258945604
>the citizens of Gomorrah wanted to fuck this
they were on a whole different level. I'm glad they destroyed those two cities so this fetish never exists. I'm fine with furries if we don't have to deal with any possible porn of this.
>>258947859
https://www.youtube.com/v/-xSORIDw1Sg
Try this
>>258936972
> King David visual novel/dating sim
> be a bastard and go canon Bat-sheba route, or not
>>258947891
>implying it doesn't
>>258947891
The angels Gomorrah wanted tosodomizewere the pretty human looking ones.
>>258947890
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_Ham
"due to the fact that in the biblical text, Ham himself is not cursed and race or skin color is never mentioned."
Yeah, no.
>>258933823
Songs of Solomon would be a h-game
Personally I think the Jews in the wilderness for 40 years would made a neat exploration game
>>258938372
no pharisees
>>258937082
As opposed to a religion based on oral tradition? What's the difference?
>>258947890
>This is what Mormons actually believe
>>258941879
I got just the thing for you
>>258948031
I still got nothing
>>258948178
Stealth game where you play as the scouts who were getting intel on the nephilim living in the promised land.
>HotWine Prophet: Wrong Messiah
>you play as various prophets from Christian, Islamic and Jewish religions. It's exactly in the style of Hotline Miami.
>Jesus has two modes. After beating the game one time, in NG+ Jesus can walk on water and the rmb can cause enemies to explode into wine. Only three times per level
>Samson comes with long flowing hair. Perfect for people who wants HUGE combos. For every kill, Samson gets a bit faster. After 25 kills; he is given a jaw of an ass which works like a boomerang. Only works three times
>Muhammad starts with a scimitar. Every kill makes it swing faster. In NG+ you have two lives. If you die in the first life, you explode and start in that area. The room has stunned enemies for 5 seconds.
>Noah is a minigame where you have to punch every animal to sleep in less than 60 seconds. Successful completion of the minigame unlocks Noah for NG+ mode where he punch holes in walls.
For features
>Cain mode. God has smited you, motherfucker. You can only see in the room that you're in.
>Satan mode: All enemies are twice as strong.
>Sodom mode: Random pillars of salt crash through the ceilings, depending on the RNG.
>>258948347
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEXmf1s9EwE&list=PL_cDibi2pKDWZ0yPLEEdl2y0itxvRIn5s
It's in french anyway.
>>258948347
This one should work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl_2lDdLesU
Stupid fucking VEVO piece of shit
>>258943090
John the Baptist was a cool religion heading bloke and Jesus learned what he knew from him.
Later the Roman sympathetic authors writing the gospels didn't like that someone should be superior to Jesus so made out that Jesus came up to John and John was like "ermagerd you are the son of god for sure and an better than me definitely, how about you teach ME?" and this gets more and more pronounced the later written the gospels get.
When John got captured Jesus basically just took over his people and that is how he got started and why baptism (at one point it's own mini-religion) got incorporated into Christianity.
>A thread having a legit discussion about the bible and what games could be made out of it
>on 4chan
Sometimes, you guys make me proud
