You're in a club and this guy slaps your girlfriend's ass.
What do you do?
>>251385173
slap his ass
>>251385173
Order my cadre of Rhodok Sharpshooters to fire at will while my Sergeants keep him at bay using their tall shields and great hammers.
>>251385307
His Huscarl friends show up to back him up.
What do you do.
>>251385462
DRINK THE BLOOD FROM HIS SKULL
CallJeremus
>>251385462
Run distraction on my horse while my Sharpshooters and Sergeants continue doing God's work. If things look dire for me, beat a brief tactical retreat and send in the Mamlukes.
>>251385173
Offer him 600 denars to join you, go slap the ass of every girlfriend in calradia
>>251385462
GO JEREMUS
KILL THEM ALL
what are some good strategies for taking over everything in the game, /v/?
currently at war with the faggot nords and even though im killing them in the thousands and they only kill my guys in the tens they wont give up because im "A lord without a master"
>>251385173
Sic Jeremus on him.
Announce a feast obviously.
>>251385921
Did you start your own kingdom yet?
>>251385921
Get married. You need right to rule or else you'll just have every faction declare war on you.
Get Harlaus to take him away on a feast.
How the fuck do you get Lords to join your cause. I'm great friends with some of the Jarl turned Emir lords and they say everything about joining me sounds great but then they say that they don't want to betray the Sultanate even though they had a perfectly good time betraying King Ragnar.
I hired a bunch of mercenaries and trained a bunch of recruits to decent soldiers and took one of their castles and proclaimed my own kingdom
now they wont stop fucking sieging my one castle even I kill all of them every time with literally 2 of my own guys dead
it says they have very low morale and got the worst of the fighting in the war but they cant have peace because they think im some commoner
my goal is to take the entirety of the nord kingdom, bro up with the vaegirs, take some time to get stronk, than start taking over all the other kingdoms, than turn on the vaegirs last
>>251386341
meant to reply to
>>251386032
>>251386131
the other kingdoms havent declared war on me
and im not some pussy ass bitch anyways
but just in case how do I get married
>>251386341
Get married, you don't have right to rule.
>there will never be a converter that transfers your CK2 save over to M&B:W
>>251385173
>You're in the club and this guy tells your girlfriend that that's a nice head she's got on her shoulders
>>251386341
>take the entirety of the nord kingdom
Enjoy your sieges.
recruit him for my army
>>251386654
>300 nords come to assault my only castle
>have like 50 guys
>good ranged and some heavy ground troops
>just sit there by the side of the ladder as they come up and kill them ezpz
>kill them all while only 2 of my guys died
I sure will enjoy those sieges
>>251386448
Win tournaments and go to the feast after, find a lady that doesn't have husband and dedicate your victory to her, learn poems. Speak to her brother/father and ask for approval and start sneaking off to her at nights, read the right poems and stuff and get a high approval rating.
After a while you can ask to marry her.
>>251386961
the only problem is I cant leave my castle for one day without some queer nords assaulting it
>>251386904
You're attacking the nords, not the other way round.
A feast is always the answer
I wish there was a way to execute Lords you defeat. Like, if you personally kill them on the field, they stay dead.
>>251387086
Should've prepared for your right to rule before you tried to rule, dummy. Just lose your kingdom and start over later.
>>251387218
nigga I didnt know shit about the right before I took the castle from the bitch ass nords
they suck so much dick at fighting they dont deserve a kingdom
>>251387345
>they suck so much dick at fighting
Nords suck dick at sieging, but most certainly not at fighting.
>>251387450
Decentish cavalry can stomp all over nords
>>251387578
Decentish cavalry can stomp all over everything.
>>251386341
>Trying to take over the Nords
>>251386334
Hakim is a bro though. He loves to give land out to all of his vassals.
>>251387212
I hope they will add something like this in bannerlord because otherwise the closest you can get to killing him is putting him in prison and not selling him. Even then he can still escape though.
>>251387731
fuck you im gonna go take over one of the nord capitals right now to prove how much they are bitch ass faggots
gonna post screenshots along the way
>>251387946
Better off taking over the Rhodoks, those mountain men fight with pitchforks and baseball bats.
Check his powerlevel.
>>251387946
Yeah, please do that, I'd love to fucking see that
>>251388045
As long as you don't get a castle layout that doesn't work in their favor. Dealing with their sharpshooters while they are on roofs/the other side of the castle is total hell.
>>251387578
Cavalry is OP as fuck. I killed over 500 mountain men with my band of about 100 cavalry.
going to fuck dem nord faggots up
Is the clash of kings combat harder than the vanilla game? Or have I just gotten used to having a huge army at my back and top level gear?
>>251388285
>46 dudes
You're fucked, have fun picking arrows out of your ass.
>>251388285
>46
>46
>46
>Forty (40) six (6)
>>251388285
give this queer one change to give up
>>251388210
I took them over on my own, it took maybe five to ten hours.
>>251388285
>losing to barbarians
You bring great shame upon your house.
>>251388506
fuck I meant change
anyways
homie fucked up
>>251388506
>attacking my bro Jarl Irya
>>251388657
Why are you doing this to yourself?
>>251385173
Set damage taken to 1/4 then slap his shit.
>>251388657
engineer master race
>girlfriend looks at me
Do it.
>girlfriend starts to beat the shit out of guy
>tears out his heart and feeds it to him
>both me and girlfriend start slapping his individual ass cheeks
>walk away as he dies slowly and painfully
>>251388657
Do you think its badass to do this? Do you think its 'cool'? Come on man, think of your men's kids.
>>251388773
ITS GO TIME FAGS
>>251388793
back the fuck off?
>>251388895
>battle advantage = -13
>>251388531
Well, you are a better man than me then. Probably had a better army too.
>>251388895
I hope all your men are huscarls and it's on easy.
>>251388773
GO ANON I TRUST YOU
>>251388895
>>251388895
>Battle Advantage: -13
>>251388895
It's now or never faggot
>>251388895
I'll say some kind words at your funeral.
>>251389094
Majority were Nord Warriors and Nord Vets, some Huscarls, and Swadian Knights/Sargents.
About 150 strong.
>>251388895
rip in pieces op
>>251389357
He's not OP though
>>251388895
GET FUCKED NORD NIGGERS
>>251388895
>>251389497
He's the original poster of your moms pussy
>>251389541
u hacking nigger
>>251389541
HOLY SHIT KING OF THE NORTH OVER HERE
>>251389541
I CALL SHENANIGANS
>>251389541
callingbullshit.webm
>>251389725
I doubt he's cheating. It's really not that hard once you get to a certain level.
>>251389541
hax
>>251389541
Bull fucking shit, you set the difficulty to nothing. There is no fucking way, with a party of 46, you took a Nord castle
>>251389541
You are truly in the gods favour today
>>251389881
It is next to impossible to win a siege with 46 guys. Or impossible. There just is no way.
I drink from his skull, of course.
>>251389934
actually he just knocked out a sally forthing squad which is usually insanely low amount of soldiers that don't even get reinforcements.
If you have a long weapon it's possible.
>>251389541
Lets see a casualty report.
>>251389934
If the numbers are stacked against you significantly you'll only send out a handful of troops while the enemy will send out a shit ton. If you're really well geared and good at the game you can kill just about everyone by yourself while taking minimal casualties in a stacked battle like that.
>>251389541
One man army
>>251390092
46 huscarls on the easiest difficulty, its possible, but difficult and requires a lot of luck.
>>251389541
they took my castle while I was gone
BUT I GOT A BIGGER CASTLE TO TAKE NOW MOTHERFUCKERS
THE SIEGE CONTINUES
>tfw army comprised entirely of rhodok sharpshooters
>tfw mowing down nord shieldwalls and swadian heavy cavalry like nothing
>>251390183
And if your squad consists of a lot of characters and someone has maxed out wound treatment, so any losses won't be losses.
>>251390349
You better hope dat cavalry don't get near you
>>251390530
>fighting 2000 swadians with 100 sharpshooters
>spawn on a hill with a river at the base with the sun to our backs
I lose 70 sharpshooters but managed to win.
>>251390329
EVERY SINGLE JARL AND EVEN THE NORD KING CAME TO STOP ME
YOU CANT STOP THE NIGHT TRAIN
>>251390329
>castle
That's a funny way of saying captial, Anon. I thought you said you were gonna do something big?
>>251390740
u r fuked
>>251390349
I've never bothered with Rhodok or Nord troops personally. Which are the best from their respective factions?
I remember making an army of mostly Swadian knights, Sarranid marmlukes, Khergit horse archers and Veigir horseman but I avoided Rhodok and Nord because they didn't have any strong cavalry to fit into my army.
>>251390740
>lol guys I won this wont oo
>>251390740
lol you are dead, nigga.
>>251390740
Godspeed to you anon.
>>251390740
The fuck man
>>251390740
TO GLORY MEN
TO GLOOOOOOOOOORY
>>251390932
well at least you went out wearing a stylish helmet
>>251390932
>battle advantage = -52
>>251390740
Go down fighting or not at all, you glorious maniac
>>251390932
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>251391051
>>251390932
Well atleast you're going to die like a man
>>251390932
> Battle Advantage: -52
Did someone say feast?
>tfw hit endgame
>tfw i can kill an entire nord/vaegir host of 900 troops with my 50 rhodok sharpshooters and 50 swadian knights
zz boring
>>251390818
I started doing Swadian Knights, Huscarls, and Rhodok Sharpshooters.
So i have a cavalry, infantry, ranged thing going. Been thinking of raising some mamalukes though.
>>251390932
>Battle Advantage = -52
>>251385173
What I always do.
run 50 swadian knights over him..
>>251391167
>Jeremus has been knocked unconscious
who hype for bannerlord
>>251391275
This anon is
>>251391275
I'm very excited for Butterlord.
>>251391275
NOT ENOUGH BLOG UPDATES
>>251391051
I'LL KILL ALL YOU NORD BASTARDS
YOU MAY HAVE KILLED MY MEN BUT YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME
Just a reminder that mamlukes will always be the best unit in the game.
>>251391275
>>251391350
>>251391373
>bannerlord
>having any chance of being released within the next 5 years
>>251391275
I want to see Harlaus feasting in HD
>>251390932
>Battle Advantage = -52
>>251385462
Sarranid archers to break the shields with their sik rate of fire, Rhodoks or Vaegirs fire away for the killing blow.
>>251391458
That's a nice head you have on your shoulders, Dan Rathers.
>tfw I am currently Marshal of the north and own 2 cities, 3 villages and 5 castles
FEELS GOOD FUCKERS
>>251391489
Mah emir right here.
>>251391491
probably end of next year
>>251391458
FUCK THOSE NORD BASTARDS GOT ME
>>251391510
The game takes place in the past, anon. Maybe you'll meet Harlaus' ancestor, but not Harlaus.
>There will never be a sex mod
>have matheld and klethi in my party
>lords approach me asking to "borrow" them for a week
>let the lords ravage them
>gain favor with lords
>slowly build up their trust until the day of reckoning
>mfw im a pimp
>>251391159
thought it was kind of dumb how they never execute you.
I mean, it'd be frustrating if it happened by bandits all the time, but seriously
>>251391695
I guess the lords are pretty much always worth more alive than dead.
>>251391489
this, they rape like swadian knights on horseback while getting you more prisoners and they are still strong as fuck in seiges unlike dead weight knights
>>251391695
I think it's dumb that you can't kill lords
>>251391671
There is, but it's just text.
>>251391632
Ready to be raped nord wimminz?
Can't wait for Bannerlord to be released and L'Aigle being postponed a few years extra because Docm decides to port it all to Bannerlod
>>251391671
l-lewd
>>251391695
Yeah, I kinda wish that there was a pool of characters so that when lords die in game, they'd be replaced by someone.
Bonus points if you can bring traitors to the king and watch them get executed publicly.
>>251386531
>there will never be a CK2 with M&B Combat/Battles.
>>251391751
But they do it even if you're just a commoner.
>>251391632
THEY CANT CONTAIN THE NIGHT TRAIN NO ONE CAN
IM COMING BACK FOR THOSE BASTARDS
>>251391871
Yeah in that case it's silly.
>You won't be able to skin prisoners alive in Bannerlord
>>251391174
Now do you understand how charlemagne felt?
>>251391916
Don't be a damn fool!
>>251391671
How else would one work besides random text scenes everytime you lose?
>>251391916
The PC is basically the Joker while everyone else is Batman
>>251391671
>>251391626
don't toy with me like that
>>251391916
THE SKY TURNED BLACK BECAUSE THE GODS KNOW ABOUT THE MASSIVE LOSS OF LIFE THAT WILL HAPPEN TODAY
>>251392069
>-113
>>251391916
>>251392069
you've got to be shitting me
>>251392069
>>251392069
>Battle Advantage = -113
Watch as the entire club starts being the shit out of him for dressing like a spastic.
>>251392069
>-113
OP you're mad
>>251392180
>>251392304
what does "battle advantage" mean anyway? even when I have like -5 advantage i still rek the enemies
>>251392069
FUCK THEY SOMEHOW BEAT ME BUT I ESCAPED IMPRISONMENT AGAIN
CURRENTLY CHARGING KING AND HIS GANG OF JARLS
>>251385173
>girlfriend
>girl
What have we not made clear enough?
>>251392069
>Battle Advantage = -113
>>251392069
>>251392425
>can't quicksave during battle
>>251385173
Toss axes with my nord buddies, drink his tears.
>>251392425
>30 minutes later
>anon is still attacking wercheg
>anon has no armor or weapons
i did it boys
just eloped with lady tibal
isnt she a qt?
>>251391864
WHY ISNT THIS A FUCKING THING
>>251392069
>Lost item: Coat of plates
>Lost item: Lordly Winged Helm
>Lost item: Lordly Scale Gauntlets
You're going to lose all your armor and your horse. It's gonna happen I'm calling it now.
>>251392547
>27 frames
The fuck are you running that on?
>>251392425
TODAY 742 MEN WILL GO TO WAR
AND AT THE END ONLY 1 WILL WALK AWAY
>>251389541
You set the battle size to minimum, didn't you...
>>251391275
>Bannerlord will come out in your lifetime
>>251392543
>THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT YOU FUCKING NORD NIGGERS
>>251392724
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>251386334
Persuasion, bro
>>251392743
>>251391916
>>251392679
i get married and thats all you care about?
>>251392762
>My liege, there is a shrieking naked peasant hitting the eastern wall with a stick. What is your command?
>>251392830
>NEGATIVE 740
YOU SHOULD HAVE ALLIED WITH ISRAEL, GOY
THE HERO WE DESERVE
>>251392830
I'm laughing so hard you manly son of a bitch.
>>251392830
>those graphics
anon u poor?
>>251391864
>>251386531
It's called AD 1257And it's shit
>>251392830
>-740
IDS HABBENING
>>251392830
>Battle Advantage = -740
>>251392830
-740
WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN
YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS
>>251392830
>Battle Advantage = -740
I've never seen it get to that point before.
>>251392830
>Battle Advantage = -740
>>251385173
Start my own kingdom and fuck him up with my Knights and Sergeants
CONGRATS THIS IS THE MANLIEST THREAD ON /V/
>>251392987
>1257
>shit
It's one of the best mods out there.
>>251392830
>-740
Go down swinging, you crazy son of a bitch. Kill one for us.
>>251392830
>-740
>>251392927
>Give him some butter, and pray for him. His body walks, but he has been dead for a long time.
>>251393169
>can't fast travel because map is too big
yeah nope, it's shit
>>251392830
YOU BETTER BE THE EMPEROR OF FUCKING MANDKIND
What do you want for bannerlord multiplayer?
>>251385173
twoshot him with my OP greatl ong axe
>>251392927
>King Ragnar is throwing a feast
>>251393285
One player randomly spawns as a god.
>>251393275
>Fast traveling
God bless you, casual scum.
>>251392830
CIRCLE THE BASTARDS AND THEN STRIKE
or be a bitch and use the health cheat
>>251392830
THOSE BASTARD BEAT ME AGAIN
BUT THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT
THIS TIME I CAN FEEL IT
THE POWER OF GOD COURSES THROUGH MY VIENS
>About 180 days into a character from Rhodoks
>Not at war with anyone
>All cities we have are giving me profit
>Nothing left to do but get drunk and get money
>>251393285
Some kind of game mode where you wander around the game world with other people, fighting with or against them and their factions. I guess it either goes in real time or everybody moves at once.
>>251393415
>waiting
>challenging
>>251393285
Tournament mode with jousting, duels and foot races
>>251393502
>>251393502
Maybe you should accept that you're never gonna win.
>>251393508
Import your character into Pendor. Your character should become a Space Marine by the end of the run.
>>251393502
>-957
GET OUT
RUN
>>251392830
rev up those downward strikes
>>251393502
>Battle Advantage = -957
>>251393502
>-957
BELIEVE IN THE ME THAT BELIEVES IN YOU
>>251393508
The remedy for one such situation is to attack another faction's farmers.
You'll be at war faster than you can say "hold this position, fire at will"
I WHEEL DRINK THE BLOOD FROM YOUR SKULL
>>251393502
>BATTLE
>ADVANTAGE
>=
>-
>9
>5
>7
>>251393502
Jesus Christ
>>251393502
1-man war of attrition
It's so crazy it might just work
This guy walks up into the club and slaps your ass.
Do yousurvive?
>>251393275
>having a shit computer
>calling the mod shit
It's not a great mod, but dear lord you love dick in your arse don't you sonny?
>>251393502
Is your plan to chip away at Wercheg until its you and Ragnar hitting each other with sticks?
>>251393502
You better stick that hat up your arse and get the fuck out of there.
Why are Warband threads always comfy or hilarious?
Why can't all vidya threads be good?
>>251393502
>-957
>>251393502
WAS GETTING REPEATEDLY CAPTURED PART OF YOUR PLAN?
>>251393502
are you trying to get every Nord to fight against you at the same time?
>>251393798
Naked and hitting each other with their bare hands more like.
>>251391182
I was never sold on non-cavalry units because they have such garbage mobility. They're not bad as infantry during sieges either but I imagine Huscarls and Sharpshooters are superior in that regard.
>>251393502
>-957
>>251393502
>-957
YOU MOTHERFUCKER
>>251393796
>shit computer
It has nothing to do with anyone's computer: it's the engine that can't handle it,fegget
somebody archive/screencap this shit
>>251393941
maybe the nords are at war with the rhoducks and he is leading them to an army of sharpshooters
>>251393502
>-957
Ride that bomb to the bitter end, anon.
>>251393868
OF COURSE!
>>251393502
>-957
I should be using Floris for Mountain Blade Warband, right?
>>251393502
how many people do you kill per battle, anon?
>>251394063
7/3/14
The day the Nords got fucked up by one insane anon and his god powers
>>251393948
>Year 2 of my conquest of the nords
>All my previous holdings have since been captured, my subjects conquered
>I'm down to my last loincloth, oddly enough they have yet to take my swanky hat
>I've have no weapon and my battle disavantage is being calculated in scientifc notation but I still like my chances
>Ragnar is going down today, I feel it in my bones
>>251394221
floris is ok. there's a lot of shit but some good stuff too. if you haven't played warband before, do vanilla first
>>251394221
Floris if you like Warband but just want more control over what's happening and like having a few extra things.
AD1257 if you want to play in medieval Europe
Gekojuo if you want to play in 16th century Japan
They're the only mods worth having.
>>251385173
They can't bring horses into a club which means he's just a decent foot soldier.
I can take him. I think. Probably.
>>251393502
>-957
>>251394435
>AD1257 if you want to play in medieval Europe
>Gekojuo if you want to play in 16th century Japan
Such things exist?
>>251394431
>>251394435
Okay, thanks. I started playing last week and I was using Floris, but I wanted to start a new game. I think I might try a little vanilla, then those other ones.How do I fuck a claimant in Floris?
>>251385307
Only weaklings let others fight their battles for them.
>>251394435
They should have Mount and Blade Modern Warfare
>>251394630
They also should have aborted you.
>>251394435
And A Clash of Kings if you want to ride for Stannis, the true king of Westeros.
