Gather round, ye children.
It's time for a text adventure.
RUles:
quote my psot.
highest final post number within 1 minute of the first rpely is the winner.
>>251228360
Dance like a ninny
Our Valient Heroes.
>>251228360
Get ye flask and drink deeply.
>>251228549
>>251228792
Lament your flaskless existence
>>251228792
Find ye flask, damnit!
>>251228792
Stick head into ground
>>251228861
>>251229132
Call up superiors. Ask for flask
>>251229132
Cast Anger, punch where your flask should be.
>>251229132
Cry more
>>251229272
>>251229703
Summon Merc
>>251229703
Ask if Grahs has a flask you can borrow.
>>251229703
Accuse Grahs of stealing your flask
>>251229703
Grahs stole your flask. Kill him
>>251229795
>>251230152
Try harder
>>251230152
Ask Grahs why he stole you Updog
>>251230152
Switch to Grahs, slap Kurt out of his insanity.
>>251230209
>>251230606
Giggle like a slack-jawed retard.
>>251230606
"My ass"
>>251230606
NOT MUCH MAN, YOU?
>>251230738
>>251230991
FLy like a majestic eagle to your destination
>>251230991
Hold up the Jar of Nanomachines and scream "NANOMACHINES SON"
>>251230991
Head towards the forest
>>251231102
Swim.
>>251230991
sharpen equipment
>>251230991
Eat your nanomachines
>>251230991
Seduce Grahs.
>>251231227
>>251231771
Polish armor to a shine
>>251231771
INVESTIGATE IMMEDIATELY!
>>251231771
Tactically advance in the opposite direction.
>>251231771
Fart in Grahs' general direction
>>251231771
Seduce Grahs.
>>251231873
>>251232387
Take a nap
>>251232387
Aim Tesla Cannon in the direction of the noise
>>251232387
Tell Grahs it's okay and that it's just a teddy bear.
>>251232457
>>251232832
Do one of those spinning kung fu jumps where you quickly get off the ground and dodge attacks.
Then once on your feet assume a battle stance.
>>251232832
Fire a shot at the cyborg
>>251232832
Roll into cover and then take aim at the cyborg.
>>251232972
>>251233486
Fire at the cyborg's shooting arm. Attempt to disarm, or disable it.
>>251233578
>>251234297
Toss a grenade at the two advancing cyborgs and fire again at the one attacking Grahs.
>>251234401
Seconding this.
>>251234297
suck your own dick
>>251234401
>>251235013
Suck your own dick and play video games
>>251235013
Use shield shot on Cyborg B
>>251235107
this
>>251235107
>>251235552
Summon Jesus
>>251235552
Finger your butthole and play video games
>>251235552
Shoot cyborg B so we will only have one opponent to deal with.
Also for the future, remember to never do nonsensical things in battle.
>>251235609
>>251235953
Shield shot.
Also swear to never do anything completely nonsensical in battle again.
>>251235953
Shoot the remaining one in the dick
>>251235953
finger butthole
>>251236048
>>251236003
see>>251235013
The game says you can only do one thing per turn.
>>251236572
Fuck that shit, rape the corpses
>>251236572
I don't even know what action does at this point, but action.
>>251236572
action
>>251236572
ENERGY GUNS
ZAP SOME MOTHERFUCKERS
>>251236636
Well one is a physical action and the other is a mental one. We might not be able to shoot 4 guys in the time a single turn takes, but maybe we could shoot one guy, and then think about shooting another.
>>251236663
>>251237045
Love
>>251237045
ACTION
>>251237045
Energy guns I guess, we need someone to cover our ass.
>>251237129
>>251237539
finger butthole
>>251237539
Use your computers that are built into your armor to hack the dead cyborg's brains.
>>251237539
SEDUCE GRAHS
>>251237596
>>251237869
SEDUCE
GRAHS
>>251237869
Kill Grahs
>>251237869
shoto and shield shot grahs
>>251237928
>>251238213
snap his neck now that he has his back turned
>>251238213
Stop doing sexual things for no reason, swear it.
>>251238213
go after him.
>>251238307
>>251238710
Swear to stop doing shit that will harm your team mates, that is sexual in nature for no reason, or will get you killed.
>>251238710
Rape him.
>>251238710
Break down crying and start lamenting about "the good old days"
>>251238808
>>251239085
Vow to not sexualize the Grahs
>>251239085
head to new gilead with no interupptions.
>>251239085
Walk to New Gilead stylishly.
>>251239085
Hack the cyborg's brain implants and see if you can get information on the enemy.
>>251239160
>>251239437
remove armor, freely exposing your underflesh to the harshness of the outside world while building character and morale
>>251239437
Now hump the ground
>>251239437
head toward new gilead until something interesting happens.
>>251239475
>>251239798
Quickly grab one of the cyborg's heads and try to hack into it's systems as you head along.
>>251239798
Roll after him.
>>251240009
>>251240213
Climb a tree and get your bearings.
>>251240213
Fuck that shit, unleash your inner sanic
>>251240262
>>251240515
Describe it to Grahs and see if he knows what it is.
>>251240557
>>251240785
Lets move fast, we have no time for dawdling.
>>251240785
run toward the thing, stripping off all armor.
>>251240919
>>251240785
Pelvic thrust your way to New Gilead.
>>251241246
Do the helicopter dick
>>251241246
Seduce Cyborg
>>251241246
Thrust dick into nanomachines
>>251241246
Get the fuck out of there.
>>251241359
>>251241662
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
>>251241662
Raise Kurt as a skeleton using necro powers
>>251241662
Fucking run
>>251241662
Whip it out and beat off to the memory of your dead friend.
>>251241768
>>251241979
Activate kurt's armor's self destruct sequence and book it.
>>251241979
Run
>>251241979
Whip it out and do the helicopter dick
>>251241979
grab the tesla cannon, shoot him and scurge pride.
>>251241979
Fuck you magic totally exists
>>251242072
>>251242483
Quick, shove the jar of nanomachines up your ass
>>251242483
Do this >>251242021, then run and take cover. Please for the love of the adventure, don't let it end like this.
>>251242530
Too L8
>>251242657
;_; why, I just wanted a fun adventure not to have it end less than two hundred posts in.
>>251242528
>>251242824
And I wanted a pizza. But can't all have what we want all the time.
>>251242921
Helicopter dick harder
>>251242483
Morn Kurt's death and accept your own.
>>251242942
;______;
>>251242921
Ascend to godhood
>>251242921
Tactically advance in the opposite direction!
>>251242921
Try to convince cyborg to spare your life
pray for favor from the gods
OP, after we die, give us a simple impromptu adventure without the HUD? Shit would be cash.
Make us go on and adventure to get doritos. What's more /v/ than that?
>>251242997
>>251243332
again again
>>251243332
Resume the game as someone who was left for dead in a pile of bodies but miraculously survived.
>>251243332
Atleast we went "swinging" Huh? Huh!?
>>251243332
OP please this
>>251243293
>>251243332
Really the best and only way to go
>>251243332
SHIT
should i?
>>251243293
>>251243332
Ok now let us play as a cyborg destroying the humans.
>>251243512
Be reincarnated in the past and given a second chance at adventure.
>>251243512
fuck yes OP
>>251243512
what about a zombie survival adventure?
>>251243512
Do iiiiiiit!
Military or otherwise trained PCs should have some sort of perk that keeps them from doing suicidally stupid nonsensical things, at least skip the first suggestion or something.
>>251243512
helicopter dick adventure
>>251228792
Head Dennis.
>OP spends a bunch of time planning this adventure coming up with a backstory and everything
>Gets ruined by a couple of shitposts
Be honest, OP, do these things ever disappoint you?
what
>>251244108
kek'd
>>251244108
>>251244172
do the helicopter dick
>>251244172
Realize we forgot our fedora. GO GET IT!
>>251244063
the only one that REALLY disapointed me was Stephen Carlisle.
If I ever really got pissed at you guys, I'd stop and never come back.
>>251244172
Destroy children, with your copter dick
>>251244172
Pull out your phone and ruin an adventure thread on /v/. That will calm your nerves.
>>251244247
Do you at least have fun?
>>251244292
>2014
>having fun
>>251228309
>analog guns
>>251244257
>>251244490
Unleash your copter dick on the unsuspecting masses
>>251244490
Do the helicopter dick while walking down the street
>>251244490
Scream in Victory and proceed to uncontrollably shit yourself
>>251244490
What >>251244241 said.
We need as much protection from sunlight as we can
>>251244548
>>251244292
for the most part. when i stop having fun, i'll sometimesthrow an incredibly powerful enemy at you and see what you do.
>>251244778
Start lumbering towards the store. Becoming more and more out of breath as you go.
>>251244778
Summon Jesus Christ, the final boss
>>251244845
the outcome would probably end up alot like >>251241979
>>251244835
>>251245056
Do the helicopter dick at them
>>251245056
Do the only thing you know how to do, call him a casual and yell at him for not understanding how hardcore you are.
>>251245108
>>251245297
helicopter dick while walking towards the store
>>251245297
lumber toward the end of the street.
>>251245297
Grab one of them before they escape and interrogate them.
>>251245297
Chase them down while screaming yelling about how they're underage scrublords
>>251245369
>>251245536
Obviously we go left, we are cowardly by nature.
>>251245536
Right path.
>>251245536
right
>>251245536
seconding
>>251245604
>>251245536
Left. We already have to deal with the sun
>>251245536
Go right, and walk in a way that you think would impress the edgy kids
>>251245536
Left
>>251245604
>>251245657
>>251245660
>>251245882
Insult her for not being a part of the PC master race
>>251245882
smack it out of her hand and clal her a casual
>>251245882
Laugh at the casual
>>251245882
fuck her
i mean attempt to seduce her by saying "m'lady" a lot
>>251245936
>>251245936
>>251246180
write her address down and send her a mean letter telling her you hate her
>>251246180
Sniff the grass where she was sitting. Then go on /v/ and make a post about how you showed a dirty casual the correct path in life today.
>>251246180
Friendzoned again. What a bitch.
>>251246180
go up to her door, and bang on it, tellign her that youre not finished informing her.
>>251246180
Declare yourself the Lord of Sppaghetti
>>251246316
>>251246570
Find some italians
>>251246570
scratch your own neckbeard and continue on to the store.
>>251246570
make a crown and cape out of spaghetti
need to make sure everyone knows you are the king of spaghetti
>>251246570
Feel so tired out by all this social contact and walking that you take a nap on the grass.
>>251246570
Take off pants
>>251246570
Decide that you've fucked around enough and lead a one-man charge to the convenience store.
>>251246570
Get a thirst for mountain dew
>>251246673
>>251246961
Bend over and pick up a rock in case you need to defend yourself.
>>251246961
Mumble some statistics about black crime as you pass him.
>>251246961
Use fried chicken as bait and run as fast as you can
>>251247029
>>251247269
smash the rock as hard as you can into his bloodshot eyes and run until you cannot run anymore
>>251247269
OH GOD HE WANTS REVENGE FOR TRAY TRAY, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
run into the woods
>>251247269
Summon its greatest enemy: The White Man
>>251247369
>>251247491
Shake your ass at it
>>251247491
Quick camoflage self with dirt and pretend to be a nigger
>>251247491
tip your fedora
>>251247491
Realize you were hallucinating your Summon attempt due to your low roll and do what >>251247353 said instead.
>>251247589
>>251247865
Seduce the nigger with your thunder thighs
>>251247865
Unleash the 'copter.
>>251247865
Cower and piss yourself shouting "Please don't kill meeeee!"
>>251247865
AH SHIT, RUN AWAY AT THE SPEED OF SANIC
>>251247865
bash him with the rock and shout:
CAN'T FLIM-FLAM THE ZIM-ZAM
and run
>>251247865
Haul ass to the store and hope he doesn't follow you.
>>251247865
tell him it's because you are the spaghetti king
>>251247939
>>251248087
Fly away like a majestic phoenix
>>251248087
bash him with the rock and shout:
CAN'T FLIM-FLAM THE ZIM-ZAM
and run to the store
>>251248087
Make a post on /pol/ about your triumph.
>>251248087
Go on /v/ and rant about how a nigger tried to rape you, because /v/ is the place for that
>>251248087
continue to the store like nothing happened
>>251248087
*Attempt* to throw the rock at him with your fat sweaty sausage finger hands
>>251248087
Continue you to shop in hopes you can find something that could you seduce him. I need a dick in our sissy ass
>>251228360
>Gilead
Man I swear every thread I go into has a Dark Tower reference its bizarre
>>251248209
